Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs

Can I let you in on a secret? You cannot build a successful marriage when your life is "all about me." Selfishness never works. Expecting to be served and pampered doesn't work. Even Jesus did not come to serve, but to serve and give his life (Matthew 20:28).

The only way you find your life is by giving up your own life in serving others (Mark 8:35). Marriage is the perfect relationship to experience this victorious way of living.

Here's a project for you. Can I encourage you to change your thinking from "it's all about me" to "it's all about him"? Instead of dwelling on what your husband is doing wrong and how he is not doing this and that around the home etc, why not think of all the ways you can bless him.

Starting from today and for the rest of this week, think of at least two special things you can do for him, say to him, or write to him each day. Why not surprise him by initiating sexual intimacy instead of waiting for your husband to make the first move? And don't forget to have a lovely meal waiting for him each evening as he comes home.

Think creatively. Think out of the box. Think about him instead of you!

Love from Nancy

Who is your marriage all about? Is it all about you? Many couples live together, but are not bound together, or enjoy life together. They started off with great love, enjoyment and enthusiasm but now their relationship is pretty boring and cold.

Why is this? I believe it is because of the "all about me" syndrome. What is my husband doing for me? How is my husband serving me? I have a right to be whom I am and do my own thing. Soon the couple are living their own separate lives instead of being cemented together.

The very first marriage principle that God gave is oneness. Genesis 2:24 states that the married couple are to be "one flesh." We are not separate entities. We are one. We should think oneness. We should be yielded to one another to be "one flesh" as much as possible. We should be yielded to one another in one spirit, mind, and purpose to build our marriage and family. We haven't got time to be pursuing our own life. We have been blended as one to build a family that is strong, , powerful and will impact the world. This will only happen through oneness.

Love from Nancy

When we commit to establishing Family Devotions in our family, our children become aware that we honor God's Word. It’s not enough for us to go to church on Sunday or Saturday, but our children need to know that we can’t get through one day without the sustenance of God's precious Word.

When we make it a commitment to read the Word and pray together morning and evening, they know that we truly are Bible believers and praying parents.

If your children do not see you honoring the Word of God each day, will they think it is something worth studying and reading? If we do not gather with them to pray together every day, will they get a vision for prayer?

The children see by our lifestyle what is important to us. What do they see? A materialistic attitude, trying to keep up with the Joneses, and following the crowd? Or do they truly see that God is the priority in our lives?

Love from Nancy

Your children gain convictions about the sanctity of life by observing your attitude about children. If your attitude is against having more children, they subconsciously imbibe that children are a commodity to have according to your plans, rather than gifts to be embraced by God because of His eternal plan.

What about eating together at the table? Even in homeschooling families, this biblical tradition (Psalm 128:3) is being lost today as they get caught up in all their extra-curricular activities. I know that all these activities are very good. Satan, the deceiver, never entices us with things that are evil, but with things that are “good, pleasant, and wise” (Genesis 3:6).

If we don’t sit together for meals, what are we teaching our children? What example do we give them for when they establish their family life? Will they grow up always eating out and not establishing this biblical premise?

As you begin teaching again today, remember that your biggest teaching is your lifestyle.

Love from Nancy

Your children learn the true roles of male and female by watching your lifestyle. I didn’t need to go to a seminar on this subject either. I saw it clearly in the lives of my parents. My mother was an anointed homemaker and godly, submissive wife (although full of spark and forever getting the giggles)! My father was a real man (not a trace of wimpiness in him). He was known as a man’s man in a man’s world. But did he want my mother to compete with him? No. He reveled in her femaleness and the beautiful feminine clothes she sewed. She always dressed like a queen and he was so proud of femininity.

It’s amazing what theological truths we teach our children in our daily lives. When your husband sits at the head of table each evening, the children subconsciously become aware that he is the head of the home. And when he leads them in Family Devotions, the children understand that he is the priest and leader of the home. He is also teaching them how to live family life when they start a family.

You prepare your children for life by your daily attitudes and how you cope in times of stress. They observe whether your trust is in God or whether you cave in because you trust in your own resources.

More tomorrow.

Love from Nancy

There are so many wonderful resources and curriculums for you to use in teaching your children, aren’t there. However, what do you think is your most powerful teaching tool? Can I tell you what I believe it is?

It is your lifestyle!

Your children will learn more from watching you and your husband than from all the curriculums you will ever purchase. You teach them how to have a successful marriage (or an unhappy marriage) by the way you and your husband relate to each other. My parents gave me an amazing example of a godly marriage. I know this set my husband and me on a path of a wonderful marriage for nearly 50 years. All our children enjoy rich and wonderful marriages. Neither Colin and I, or our children, have been to a marriage seminar. We received it by example which is the most powerful way.

More about our lifestyle tomorrow.

Love from Nancy

Driving to an Above Rubies retreat recently, the GPS directed us to “Go right… Go left.” “It would be nice to be told clearly what to do in every situation, wouldn’t it?” I commented.

A passenger in the car voiced, “I wish I had a GPS for my life.”

Praise God, we do have a God-directed GPS for our life. It is operated by the Holy Spirit who speaks to our mind and heart. Isaiah 30:21 says, “Thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.”

But we have to listen very carefully to hear God’s voice. We can’t just turn up the volume. We have to tune our ears to hear and train them to listen.

How do we know it is God’s voice amidst the many deceptive voices in the world? It will never violate God’s Word. I sometimes hear mothers saying, “I have peace about my decision” and yet their decision does not line up with the Bible. They feel peace because they have chosen the easy way. It feels good and there’s no more challenge or difficulties. God doesn’t always direct us into the easy path.

There is a peace that is deceptive. May God give us ears to recognize His voice and hearts to discern the truth. And let’s get into the habit of listening to His voice. As we listen to Him directing us in the little things throughout the day, we’ll be in the habit of hearing His voice for the major decisions of life.

Love from Nancy

1 Timothy 2:15 tells us that we will be “saved in childbearing.” Does this mean that we will be saved from having a painless childbirth experience? Some women experience this but it is not what the Scripture is saying.

The word “saved” is “sozo” and has a wonderful rich meaning. It comes from a root word, “saos” which means “safe.” That’s nice, isn’t it? But it also means “to be healed, preserved, protected, delivered, and made whole.” On a number of occasions Jesus said to people, “Thy faith hath made thee whole.” The word “whole” is “sozo,” the same word used in 1 Timothy 2:15.

How blessed we are when we embrace the plan God has for us as women. We will be saved from deception, and we will be preserved and protected physically. Science is now catching up with God’s truth and more and more studies reveal that the more babies a mother births and nurses at her breast, the more physical blessing she receives. She is also protected from the epidemic of female cancers.

Thank you, Lord for your protection and care and for the perfect plan you have for your female creation.

Nancy

I do trust you enjoyed a wonderful Resurrection Sunday yesterday, remembering how our Savior rose from the dead. At church we sang the words of Charles Wesley’s hymn, “Soar we now, where Christ has led, Following our exalted Head; Made like Him, like Him we rise; Ours the cross, the grave the skies.”

The truth of our salvation is that we are identified with Christ. When He died, we died (to sin and the flesh); when He rose, we also rose to walk a new life; and we now sit with Him in heavenly places at the right hand of the Father (Ephesians 2:5-6).

You do not have to continue to being a victim to sin and your fleshly desires. You do not have to keep giving in to outbursts of anger. Positionally, you are now seated with Christ. Begin to see yourself where God has placed you. You are “in Christ Jesus” where you live in peace, rest and joy. Not only are you “in Christ,” but Christ is “in you,” giving you the power to walk in victory as you daily manage your family life. You have authority “in Christ” to have power over the temptations of the flesh.

Walk in your home today in the fullness of the salvation that Christ Jesus has provided for you. He did not die in vain, to leave you groveling in weakness and to the power of sin, but He died to save you from your selfishness and from “this present evil world” (2 Corinthians 5:14-15 and Galatians 1:4-5). What a redemption!

Nancy

Colossians 2:6 says, “As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him.” How did we receive Christ? By faith. How are we meant to continue walking with Christ? By faith. It’s so easy to forget this in our daily lives, isn’t it?

Perhaps you have just worked on your budget again. Humanly speaking, there is no way you could fit another baby into your family—your house, or your car! But did I hear you say, “humanly speaking”? Remember, we don’t walk with God by humanistic reasoning, but by obedience to God and faith in God’s promises. God is bigger than our circumstances and our situation. He is the God of the supernatural.

Now that we walk with God, we don’t trust in our natural resources and reasoning like everyone else around us. We trust in God who is able to do beyond what we can think and reason.

Love from Nancy

Isn’t it wonderful to know that God is working in us by the power of His Holy Spirit? He does not leave us unattended. He puts the desire in us to want to please Him and walk in His ways. Do you sometimes feel like a failure and feel like giving up? Don’t despair. God has never given up on you and He never will! He began a good work in you and will keep on working His good work in you until you meet Him face to face (Philippians 1:6). Oh yes, He is going to keep on working that good work in your husband too, so don’t give up on him either!

Philippians 2:13 says,“For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of His good pleasure.” The word that is used of God “working” is energeo (sounds like energy, doesn’t it?) and it means He works “mightily, effectually, and fervently!”

But get this! The word that applies to us is the same! The word to “do” His good pleasure is the same word, energeo. As we yield to the working of the Holy Spirit in our lives, He actively works in us so that His life is effectually energized and revealed in us.

Today, I am praying that God will work in me a soft, sweet, sensitive, and submissive heart to God, to my husband and to those around me. What do you want God to work in you?

Love from Nancy

I have always been inspired by the words in Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s poem, A Psalm of Life—“But to act, that each tomorrow find us farther than today.” I believe that each day should be a new day of learning and enlightenment, don’t you? We should never allow ourselves to become stagnant. How boring is that?

2 Peter 3:18 says, “But GROW in grace, and in the knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.” If a plant does not grow, it is because it is dead! Growing and increasing is part of LIFE!

Each new day we are to grow in grace of Jesus Christ, learning and experiencing more of His victorious life working in us. We are to grow in knowledge, especially the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ for “in Him are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge” (Colossians 2:3). There is always more and more to fathom, learn and experience.

Doesn’t it make each new day exciting? Every new day is an opportunity to learn and experience more of Christ and more facets of wisdom and knowledge! (Wow, my Above Rubies helper just showed me something new and helpful I can do on the computer when editing! I love learning something new!)

A great question you can ask your children at your Family Meal Table this evening is, “What was something new you learned today?” Ask each child to share something—this gets them into the habit of always wanting to learn and expand their knowledge. They’ll want to hear from Mommy and Daddy, too!

Love from Nancy

Last night we had our weekly prayer meeting in our home. Since coming to this community 12 years ago, we have been praying with neighbors of all different denominations. What a joy to pray together or our community and for the nation.

Last night there were nine little children with us in the prayer meeting. It was so encouraging to hear these young children praying fervently and intelligently for needs in the nation. We must not ever think prayer meetings are only for adults. Always include your children in prayer meetings. Of course, if they are praying daily at Family Devotions, they will be used to praying out loud. This is the greatest training we can give our children. We can give our children the greatest education, but if we have not taught them how to spontaneously pray, we have failed in our teaching.

I love the words of Leviticus 26:8 where God says, “Five of you shall chase an hundred, and a hundred of you shall put ten thousand to flight: and your enemies shall fall before you by the sword.” The greatest way to pursue your enemies is by prayer and intercession. How many children in your family? Do you have three! You, your husband, and your children (five of you) can put 100 enemies to flight! Isn’t that amazing! What if you have more children? You can send more enemies to bite the dust.

One of the most powerful things you can do as a parent is to raise mighty prayer warriors.

Nancy

I AM THANKFUL TODAY!
Read Colossians 2.7 and 1 Thessalonians 5:18 and say out loud, “I am thankful today.” Thank God for specific things for which you are thankful. Here are some things for which I am grateful.

T I thank God for Teaching me His ways
H I thank God for giving me my Husband
A I thank God for Anointing me to be a mother
N I thank God for creating me to be a Nurturer and Nourisher to my
family
K I thank God for His Kindness to me
F I thank God for my Family and His daily Faithfulness to me
U I thank God for giving me Understanding of His truth
L I thank God for Loving me enough to die for me and shed His
precious blood for my sins

Today, let’s take positive action to thank God for each little thing—the beauty of spring, the little joys of our children, or a kind word someone says to us.

Love from NANCY

I am sure you know by memory Romans 12:2, “Be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” The word “transformed” is “metamorphoo” in the Greek. Because we understand the metamorphosis of a caterpillar changing into a butterfly, we get to see the full understanding of this word. We are not to slightly change from the culture of this society. Through the constant filling of the Word of God and the Holy Spirit in our lives, we are to change into a completely different person. We will live a totally different lifestyle than the humanistic culture around us.

Metamorphoo is the same word that is used when Jesus was “transfigured” in front of Peter, James and John. He didn’t slightly change, but was totally transformed. “His face did shine as the sun, and his raiment was white as the light” (Matthew 17:1-2).

The J. B. Phillip’s translation says, “Don’t let the world around you squeeze you into its own mould” and Williams’ translates it, “Stop living in accordance with the customs of this world.” If we are living pretty much like everyone in society around us, we are most probably entrenched in the humanistic culture and don’t even know it! God wants to transform us into a totally different person, one that lines up with His biblical culture.

We are either conformed or transformed.

Love from Nancy

It is heart-warming to be embraced into a welcoming home, isn’t it? It makes you feel good, as if you belong, and how good it feels to belong. But not only should our doors and gates be welcoming to people we invite into our home, but especially to the Lord.

Psalm 24:7-19 says, “Lift up your heads, O ye gates; even lift them up, ye everlasting doors; and the King of glory shall come in. Who is this King of glory? The Lord of hosts, he is the King of glory.” I am sure this is talking about the triumphant entrance of Jesus back into glory after He conquered death and hell and took captivity captive. But it also relates to our individual lives and our homes.

What kind of welcome do we give to the King of glory? Do we open the door of our heart, and the gates of our home each new day, and welcome Him in? What a wonderful way to start the day, praying, “King of glory, I open the gates of my home to you this morning. Please come and enter every life and every room. I want you to fill our home with your mighty presence. Expose every bit of darkness and deception with the light of your glory.”

Who is the King of glory? The Lord of hosts! Who is the Lord of hosts? He is the Mighty Warrior, the God of war who will bring all His enemies into subjection. He is the Ruler of the universe, standing ready to intervene on the behalf of His people. Do you have battles raging in your home? He will fight your battles for you. He is the Lord of hosts.

Open your gates and welcome Him with open arms today.

Love from Nancy

Are you weighed down by a heavy burden today? Maybe it is a trauma you are facing. Or perhaps it is the accumulation of many little worries and problems that add up to a big burden? Are you going to keep carrying this load around? It makes you so tired, you can hardly get through the day. You can’t mother effectively when you are weighed down. You are handicapped. God knows this, and therefore tells us to “lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us” (Hebrew 12:1).

Do you notice that this Scripture tells us to lay it aside? “I have to cast it aside?” you ask. Yes, it actually means “to strip it off.” Take some action. Come to Jesus. Come to the foot of the cross and throw down your burden. Don’t hang on to it. Sometimes we are tempted to hang on to it so we have something to groan and complain about. What a delusion.

Let it go and look to Jesus. He showed us the way. He endured the cross and the shame because of the joy set before Him. When you take your eyes off the burden and lift your eyes to Him, He will give you new perspective and show you His eternal plan.

Now you can run your race. Now you’ll have energy. Now you can keep going to the finishing line.

Love from Nancy

A young mother wrote to me recently, “My baby is five months and it seems like yesterday he was born. His smile is what greets me when I wake up in the morning, even if I am dog tired. He makes any mood I have change instantly to joy with one look at his smile. I feel God through the way he smiles and laughs and am so blessed to have him and nurse him.”

How blessed we are to be mothers. We get to smile and laugh more than any other sector of people. What does a woman who has chosen a career in the market place have to smile about? Instead, each time we look at a baby we can’t help but smile. And they make you smile big! When we watch our children, we naturally smile and can’t help but laugh at all their childish antics. And every time we smile and laugh we de-stress! We release endorphins which make us feel help and relieve stress from the body. What a great way to live.

This is just another blessing of all the blessings of motherhood. No wonder the Bible tells us that we are preserved through motherhood (1 Timothy 2:15).

Love from Nancy

Genesis 2:18 says that I was created to be a help-meet to my husband. I can be a helper to him by:

Heaping love and kisses upon him.
Excitedly preparing meals for him.
Lovingly serving him rather than my own pursuits.
Praying for him.
Encouraging him daily.
Reverencing him and submitting to him.

How often I fall short of God’s divine plan for me. May God help me to be the helper he wants me to be to my husband.

Nancy

At the start of the year, I spoke of attempting to establish 12 new habits with the start of each new month. January saw us re-establish morning devotions instead of just evening, as we had fallen into the habit of doing, and February I tried to initiate giving my husband a hug and a kiss each day. Devotions were successful and my initiating hugs was not. So I continue to try to establish that habit, while I dwell on what I can try to also incorporate for April. There is always so much room for improvement, I want to take specific time to work on areas that need it. I already have needed 2 months to try to establish one of my habits, so 2012 at best will only see 11 new and improved habits. For those of you that also tried to establish new habits, how are you doing? Love Michelle