LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 259: It’s Time to Elevate Home and Family, Part 2

My husband, Colin, is with me again today. We continue talking about God's VALUE on the home and marriage. How can we make our homes a little taste of Heaven on earth? How can we create a pleasant and happy atmosphere? How can we eliminate prickly reactions between husband and wife and amongst the children?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello! Here I am again! And today, I have my lovely husband with me again, and we’re going to continue talking about elevating the home and the family in our society today. It is time for it to be elevated back to where God placed it. Home, marriage, and family were the very first institutions that God ordained in the very beginning. God hasn’t changed His plans. Family is the way He planned for us to live. He is the One who planned and designed the home.

We talked last week of how God created the first home. He was the first home designer, the first home builder. He prepared that home before He created the mother so that He would have the home ready for her when she began her life in this world.

I think too, of another passage in Jeremiah, Jeremiah 29. This is speaking about the children of Israel, well, actually the Jewish people. Judah was the tribes of Judah and Benjamin who were sent off to Babylon. God had to send them out of the land because of their sin. The ten tribes had already been vomited out of the land.

Now these tribes were sent into Babylon. They were captives in Babylon. They were away from their beloved land of Israel. The word of the Lord comes to them through the prophet Jeremiah. In Jeremiah 29:4, it says: “Thus saith the LORD of hosts, the God of Israel, unto all that are carried away captives, whom I have caused to be carried away from Jerusalem unto Babylon.”

And then comes the message. The Lord of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, was giving this message to His people through Jeremiah. The first thing He says, it’s unbelievable! You would think, “Here they are, captives in Babylon, in this very deceived place, full of confusion, and everything against everything they believed! You would think God would have some great words to give to them!”

And what does He say? The first thing He says: “Build houses, and live in them.” That was the first thing on God’s heart! You see, that was the first thing He did after He created man. And now, when His people are there in Babylon, He says, “I want you to build houses,” because God wants us to live in homes, no matter where we are.

It was as though He was saying, “Look, here you are. You’re captives in Babylon. But that does not change My Word. That does not change My plan. I want you to keep doing what I have told you to do from the beginning. Build houses, and live in them. Yes, live in them.” Houses are meant to be dwelt in, lived in.

We build these beautiful houses, and what happens today? In fact, the more expensive and amazing the house is (and we can go to some areas here in Nashville where some of these housing divisions that are all gated communities. You go in, and there are all the most incredible houses. The smallest would be 10,000 square feet! And yet, it’s in those huge homes where nothing’s happening! They’re vacated all throughout the day. They built this beautiful home, but nobody’s really living in it. They’re just there to bed down for the night).

No, homes are to be lived in.

Colin: They all go out to restaurants.

Nancy: Yes, they’re going out. Yes, because they can afford their beautiful homes. They can afford to go out to restaurants every night for a meal. Here in Franklin and Nashville, wow, there is so much affluence here. On the odd occasion, Colin and I might go out to a restaurant. There’s always such a long wait.

In fact, just last weekend, our grandson Arrow, he said, “Nana and Granddad, I want to take you out for a meal!” Every now and then he will do that. It’s so lovely of him. He loves to get dressed up, and he will get dressed up in his suit and bowtie. He will say to us, “Nana and Granddad, make sure you get dressed up!” He loves us to get dressed up when we go out.

But this time, he left it a bit late to book a restaurant. He booked one, and actually when we realized that it was too far away, we said, “Oh, that’s too far away, Arrow.” He was so busy, trying to suddenly book another one. Eventually, we got into one, waiting about 45 minutes or so. But really, to get into one, you’ve got to book a week ahead. This is Franklin. This is Nashville. Everybody is eating out.

You see, they’re not even in their homes. The home, yes, it’s all right to go out for special occasions, but really, the home is the place for day-to-day eating and sitting around the table. Homes are meant to be lived in. I’m thinking, it’s so sad that homes are an empty place, when they’re meant to be HAPPENING places.

I believe the home is where everything is meant to happen, from birth to death. In fact, the home is a birthing center, a mothering and nurturing center, a training and education center, a praise and worship center, a prayer center, a hospitality center, a counseling center, a health center, an industry center, a garden center, and a convalescent center. And that’s just the beginning of everything that happens in the home! It’s meant to be a HAPPENING place!

But isn’t that interesting, that the first thing God told His people was to build houses and live in them.

And guess what the second thing was! Wow! “Plant gardens, and eat the fruit of them.” So practical! Our God is a practical God. That’s just what we are doing at the moment.

Colin: Right.

Nancy: We are planting our garden. Well, Colin is getting out there and rotary hoeing it all up. We are so late. We’ve been so busy. Oh, we’ve had so much on our plate, and here we are. I usually have my garden in by April. Now it’s May, and we’re just starting. It gets a little more challenging for us each year as we are getting older, and I think even busier. But we know we’ve got to do it, so we’re out there, just making it happen.

Colin: Yeah. Yes, it is a bit of a challenge, truly, but it’s such a joy actually, and such a sense of satisfaction, I find, to see those plants getting put in the ground. My wife plants everything. I get the ground ready for her. When you go back out there again and see what you’ve done, and see those plants growing up, it’s great fun. It’s really good.

Nancy: Yes. I’ve just put in my 100 tomato plants!

Colin: 100 tomato plants!

Nancy: Yes, I always plant never less than 100 “To-mah-toes.” That’s our pronunciation. I know you say “to-may-toe,” ha. But not one tomato is ever wasted, because, of course, there’s family and friends around. Also, every single tomato that’s left over, I will either preserve or freeze.

I usually do it very simply. I usually just whiz them all up into a puree, just a tomato puree. Some I will freeze. Others I will preserve in jars. It’s there for the winter. I’m constantly using them every week, in foods, in casseroles, and it’s just so wonderful to have. But I’ve got those in. Now I’ve got loads more to plant yet. If we weren’t doing this podcast, we would be out in the garden!

Colin: We’ll probably get some time even yet, today.

Nancy: Yes, we’ll have to get out there again today sometime. Of course, that’s another reason why I hadn’t got out. I was so busy, with my head down to the ground, preparing the new magazine. When I’m doing that, that takes a lot of time. I have to put my head down, and I can’t do anything else.

But it’s interesting there, those were the first two things God said. He told them seven things. The third one was to take wives and beget sons and daughters. Have children. The fourth thing was to, OK, when those children grow, give your daughters to husbands, and take wives for your sons. Wow! That’s pretty proactive, isn’t it? Have grandchildren!

Today, it seems that parents with grown children don’t even seem to be caring about the next generation. We’re meant to be proactive! We’re meant to be giving our daughters to sons, and taking sons for our daughters so that we will have grandchildren! This is God’s heart! And He said this word to them when they were captives! They weren’t living free in their beloved land! But no, God never changes His plans, no matter what our circumstances.

Then the fifth thing was: “Do not diminish.” Oh, God never wants His people to diminish. He wants them to flourish, to increase, and to multiply.

Number six, He said, I want you to pray for the city in which you live. That’s another command. Do you do that?

And the seventh was, don’t be deceived. It’s interesting. He didn’t say, “Don’t be deceived by the Babylonians.” Well, they’d sure get deceived if they abided by their society. But He knew they would not be tempted, really. It was so foreign to them. But He said, “Don’t be deceived by the prophets that are in the midst of you.”

Yes, often we have to watch even what we’re being preached at church. Is it truly from the Word of God? There are so many churches today, and pastors, who would advocate limiting the family of God. That’s coming from the very heart of the church and it’s totally against God’s Word. In fact, against the very first word He gave to man when He created them: “Be fruitful, multiply, fill the earth, subdue and take dominion.” This was God’s word, and His commission from the very beginning!

Colin: We are, as Christians, as believers in the Word of God, we really need to come back to this truth, because perhaps the unbelievers, the people who don’t believe in the Word of God and have very little understanding of it, have no foundation for their mindset relating to this. But even then, it’s very, very important for us, as Christians, to come back to this amazing truth. Why should a mother be at home when she’s got nobody to look after?

Nancy: I know.

Colin: The one or two children, and then they grow up so quickly. Then she’s out in the workforce again. But I think it’s a wonderful thing to have the rapport and the blessing. Every little baby that comes in has the potential to grow up and to be another contributor to the discussion, the fellowship, the growing up together, encouraging one another. Somebody else that we can spend on our love on, and care for one another.

It’s all this one-anothering thing, and it happens, not just for the church where all the families get together, but in our own homes. They’re like smaller churches in a sense, right there in your own home. Fellowship is incredible. Very important.

Nancy: Yes. There is the lifestyle of family life. I think that is missing in many homes today where the homes are empty during the day. Many times, they’ll be going out to eat. They have lost the sense of family-togethering lifestyles.

Colin: And to add to that too, if you’re sending your children off to school, they get used to just being with their friends and the people of their same age. But it’s a wonderful thing, as we’re now grandparents and great-grandparents, where we can have the joy of being able to relate to children that have been brought up in their homes and they have no problem in relating to adults.

We can have great fun and great rapport with one another, great fellowship with one another. It doesn’t matter whether they’re young, or whether they’re teenagers, or wherever they are . . . they’re still very, very interested and happy to talk to us because of the way they were brought up in that environment.

A TOGETHERING FAMILY

Nancy: Oh, yes. And I think, talking about the home, we should talk more about the atmosphere of the home. Because we, as the parents, we are building the home. The home, I’m not talking about the structure, I’m talking about the family-ness of the home. We have to build that. We’ve got to make family togetherness happen. I think this is something that is very important.

As a mother, even as a father, we are thinking about how can we make this family a togethering family? I think a very good thing to have is to ask this question about every decision that we are making in our family life. We’re making decisions all the time, little ones, bigger ones, so it doesn’t matter whether it’s a little one, or a big one.

We should ask ourselves this question: is what we are going to do, or what we are currently doing, is it strengthening the family? Is it keeping us together? Or is it fragmenting the family? Is this thing we’re thinking about doing, is it going to fragment the family? If it’s going to fragment the family, it’s the wrong decision. Don’t do it! If it’s going to strengthen the family, if it’s going to bring us closer together and cement us together, OK, do it! That’s a simple question which will help us to really make strong families.

Colin: But coming back to the whole thing of creating an atmosphere in your family home, it’s so important, I believe, I think it’s really good for husbands and wives to be very much in love with each other, and to be encouraging one another, and to let the children know, that the children without a shadow of a doubt, do not have to question, do Mom and Dad really love each other?

Because they can see it. They can feel it. They’re living with it. They’re living with endearing conversations. They hear Mom and Dad talking to each other, and laughing together, and having fun together, and rejoicing together. It’s such a security for the children. I think it’s very imperative that children grow up in the midst of that. I put out an article. Can I share about that article a little bit?

Nancy: Oh, yes! That’s true. Well, actually, in preparing this current magazine that’s now with the design artist, I asked my husband if he would write this article, because when we were at the Above Rubies Retreat down in Panama, he spoke about this one night. He spoke about hedgehogs.

Now, in America, a lot of people are not familiar with hedgehogs because they’re not native to America. They are native, well, no, they’re not even native to New Zealand, where we come from, but we have loads of hedgehogs down there, because they were brought in. They are native to Europe, and other countries, but although they’re not native to us in New Zealand, we would often see hedgehogs around. So, you tell everybody about them, Darling.

Colin: Yes, well, they’re cute creatures, really. They’re nocturnal, but you do see them sometimes during the day.

Nancy: Yes, we’d often see them around.

Colin: They’re not very big, probably, I don’t know just how to describe it. They’re probably about one or two pounds in weight, maybe three pounds. But they’re interesting creatures because when you threaten them, or they feel danger around, they roll themselves up into a little ball, a ball, I would suppose about half the size of a football. Then they poke out their spines, which become very, very bristly.

Nancy: They’ve got spines over them, but when they feel threatened, then they roll into the ball, and they all stick out, all in a ball of 5,000 to 7,000 spines!

Colin: Yes, 5,000 to 7,000! It’s hard to believe that, but it’s true.

Nancy: And so quickly! No one can touch them!

Colin: You can be tempted to pick them up, thinking that they could be soft. But they’re not!

Nancy: They’re sharp!

Colin: They’re sharp! Boy, you’d get yourself damaged. You’ve got to be careful around hedgehogs.

Nancy: My husband says, “Oh, are you being a hedgehog in your home?”

Colin: There was lady who came and visited us and spoke to me during our lunch break, or something like that. She said, “My husband and I are Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog. Can you give us some counsel?” So, we did.

I pray that the hedgehog spirit will be gone from that home, because it’s terrible when children are being brought up amongst parents that are Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog. They’re pricking each other all the time instead of giving endearing words, and endearing attitudes that are loving moods. They have this antagonistic attitude toward each other, always putting each other down, and always sparking at each other.

It’s not good for the family to be brought up in that environment at all. In fact, it will create a whole home of hedgehogs. As I said in the article, I would not like to be in that home! I don’t want to be married to a hedgehog, and I’m sure my wife wouldn’t want me to be a hedgehog.

Nancy: It’s interesting that some people even like to have pet hedgehogs. I don’t think I’d like to have a hedgehog as a pet.

Colin: No.

Nancy: But the interesting thing is that many marriages, and many husbands and wives and fathers and mothers, they actually make a pet of the hedgehog spirit. They make it their pet, because that’s how they react.

Often a husband can say something sort of nasty, and therefore immediately, if you have that hedgehog spirit, you’ll roll up into your ball, and all your sharp reactions will come sparking out! That’s so natural, actually. That’s what we do in the flesh, isn’t it? I think to begin to create a beautiful atmosphere in our marriage, in our homes, the biggest thing is learning not to give into that flesh, that natural fleshly reaction, but to yield to the Holy Spirit.

Colin: Yes, I wrote in this article, I said, “The hedgehog nature is probably one of the main reasons why so many marriages are destroyed and families break up. No one should feel they have to walk around their spouse on eggshells. Just one wrong word, and it’s another world war. May God have mercy on us! This is insane!”

That’s true. Where has the new nature that Christ has given us gone? We have a new nature living within us. That’s the most important aspect of what I was writing in this article. Most Christians would say, “I would never deny Christ, not even if I was placed before a firing squad!” And yet in everyday lives, they lock up the new nature, or the new nature is not available.

It’s there. We’ve invited Jesus Christ to come into our lives, but we deny Him from one another. I think that’s tragic, and it’s very serious. Jesus said that if you deny Me before man, or deny Me before your family, you are denying Him. He said: “I will deny you before My Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 10:33).

We might take it to being our witness to the world, but what about our witness to our family, and to our spouses? We must not be denying Christ. We need to come to this understanding that we have to, it’s important, for the sake of the family, for the sake of our marriages, and for the joy in the atmosphere of the home, to have the home the place of a love experience.

Having a meal together is a love experience. Just being together as a loving family, and letting the new nature . . . we need to pray that God’s new nature will be manifested in our daily lives, and become part of the family atmosphere. Otherwise, we’re denying Him.

Nancy: Yes. But how do we do this? I think it’s something we learn to do. Of course, we have to have understanding first, that this is the truth of “Christ in you, the hope of glory” (Colossians 1:27).When we are born again, we receive the new nature, the Christ-nature. That old nature is still there, and we can yield to that, or we can yield to the new nature, to the life of Jesus that dwells in us, that life which is love, kindness, sweetness, everything that is of Christ.

But it’s learning to yield, and I think it’s something that becomes a habit. Often you blow it so many times, but by God’s grace, and you’re praying about it, and you seek to yield to that new nature, to the life of Christ that lives within you, it becomes more and more a habit of your life. It becomes more your lifestyle. It becomes more habitual. But you’ve got to begin to do that. You’ve got to stop this yielding to this old nature, because it’s ugly, and it’s horrible. It brings such a terrible spirit into the home.

Colin: It could actually happen even while you’re going to church. You’re going to church to worship God, but on the way to church, arguing with each other. The children are hearing it. It’s become so much a problem in the home, and then it goes off into everything that we’re doing together. We’re arguing.

It’s the old nature that needs to be crucified with Christ. We have to pause, I think, before we respond to something whereby we would normally respond in a prickly way, or a piercing way. We need to take stock of where we’re going here. The Scripture says in Proverbs 15:1: “A soft answer turns away wrath.” But a harsh word, a harsh comeback even, will stir up more anger, will stir up anger, and how true that is!

That’s the old nature, that angry thing, or that thing which is going to create a little more argument. We have to pause before we respond, and say, “Is this going to help, or this going to make matters worse?” We have to weigh what we’re thinking we’re going to retort with. We must bring forth a spirit of . . . We’ve got used to doing this, and we have to break the habit. Because it becomes a habit in the home. It is so sad. Even in Christian homes, I think it’s probably just as bad as the world!

Nancy: Yes. And everything becomes a habit. Often, it’s just because we do not know the truth.

Galatians 2:20. I learned this Scripture as a child. The truth is so powerful. “I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless, I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me.”

The truth is that my old man has been crucified with Christ. It’s dead. I’ve got to see it as dead, and look upon it as dead, and act upon it as dead. So, when I am tempted to roll up into a ball and shoot out those hedgehog sharp reactions, I have to realize, I’m dead to that. I’m dead to that. And I yield to Christ.

“Thank You, Lord Jesus, that You dwell in me. Thank You for Your life. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Your sweetness. Thank You, Lord, for Your words that I can pour out.” We yield to Christ, Who dwells within us. Amen!

Colin: You’d think sometimes why people want to get out of the home. It’s because there is so much argument going on. There are so many nasty words getting spoken, and a lot of children also want to leave home.

Nancy: But it starts with husband and wife.

Colin: Yes.

Nancy: It starts with us.

Colin: Both the husband and the wife. I heard you saying this morning to somebody on the phone, how you said “a soft answer breaks the bones”. There was a young, in this particular situation, there was this hard rock that was in this man, this husband. The lady that my dear wife was talking to was encouraging her to speak softly back to him.

You know, it can be a bone or a rock within a wife, too. It can be in both, in fact, but a soft answer . . . We have to learn to speak softly, and create peace. Peace is not just something that happens without it being created. “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of God.”

Nancy: Nothing just happens. We can build the home that we want to have. We can create the marriage we want to have. We can make the family like we dream of. Or, by the way we speak, or the way we react. It comes down to our words.

I think everything on this earth is a type of the heavenly. When we read about the tabernacle in the wilderness, it was all built according to the pattern of the heavenly, the heavenly sanctuary that is right there now in the heavenly realm.

When Jesus was here, His disciples asked him, “How shall we pray?” We all know the Lord’s Prayer, but part of that prayer, Jesus said: “Pray Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven.”

AS IN HEAVEN, SO IN EARTH

I like the translation in Luke 11:2: “Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done, as in heaven, so in earth.” Very simple. “As in heaven, so in earth.” God literally wants us to have a heavenly atmosphere in our homes, just as it is in Heaven. He wants it on earth, and if we have Christ dwelling in us, it should be happening in our homes. Christian homes, and all homes, should be filled with the           presence of God, because we have Christ dwelling in us.

Colin: This is the very whole understanding of the new birth. We’ve been born again. What is that new birth? The new birth is the new nature that’s been born, birthed into us. Let’s stop saying we’re born again if we’re just living in the old nature. That’s not part of the new nature. We have to let the new nature be manifested in us. It’s so important for each and every one.

I notice here how it says: “A soft tongue breaks the bones,” but it also, in Proverbs 31:26, it says, “In her tongue,” it’s in the tongue of the wife, the tongue of wisdom. In her tongue. I think it’s the Proverbs 31 woman, isn’t it?

Nancy: The tongue of the wife.                                   

Colin: “In her tongue is the law of kindness.” The law of kindness is a law. It’s part of the new nature. It’s the law of the nature of Christ in us. We’ve been born again for this purpose. There’s no excuse for us. That’s why we need to be born again. Without the new birth, some of us can be naturally kinder than others, but that kindness wears thin so often when the trials and the storms come along, because we’re not able to meet that.

We get to the end of our own resources, a certain loving side of the old nature, perhaps. It can wear out and get thin very quickly. And then we resort to this old nature. The honeymoon’s over, and then things begin to go wrong. This is why we need to have  . . . we noticed when we were speaking to Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog . . . the husband was serving us lunch. It was a good time we had together. It was a wonderful time but I sense with the children, there was a gap. There were a few distances there. It's just a natural thing, I think, when we are being Mr. and Mrs. Hedgehog in our home, our children will be, I don’t know. They’ll be a little scary. They’ll be frustrated, and they’ll tend to be a little bit more argumentative and self-willed and out of control. This kind of thing can happen. I think it does happen. It will happen.

Nancy: Time is up, but just before we close, maybe you could tell the story of your own upbringing, and how, although you had the most wonderful father . . .

Colin: My father and mother were wonderful people. I loved my dad. However, there was a time when, every now and then . . . most days he was a very sanguine-type personality. A lot of laughter.

But it was an amazing thing, because I guess it was part of his upbringing, perhaps. His mother had died early in life. It was a sad situation. He was left basically to be brought up by his older sisters. He had a great-grandmother, of course, who was a blessing to him. My dear old uncle, my Uncle Charlie, who was his uncle too, he was in the home. Dad was related to that old pipe-smoking uncle who never got married.

But the thing about it was that dad would get into these moods from time to time. Something would trigger it. Something would happen and it was so hard to live with. I used to feel so sorry for my mother. In fact, he wouldn’t retort very much when he was in that mood. He was silent. The mood was a lie. You could feel it. It was a death experience. The whole family would feel it, and it was a hard thing for Mom to have to put up with. Moods sometimes are louder than words and that’s all to do with that old nature.

Nancy: Yes. When we were raising our children, that was something that was very important to us, to never allow our children to continue in their moods, or to get away to pout and get in a foul mood. We would never, ever allow it. Because if you allow that, that grows up with them. They take it into their marriage and it will spoil that marriage.

I am so blessed to say that our children grew up and they did not have moods. They were disciplined. They do not have moods today. Not one in our family ever, ever has a mood. But the thing is, we as parents are responsible to guide our children’s behavior, to deal with those things when they are young. One word about that, and I think it’s getting time to close. Do you want to say something about that?

YOUR NEW NATURE IS MORE THAN SUFFICIENT TO OVERCOME

Colin: Well, I think it’s a very, very great and wonderful atmosphere. Our home should be a home of good moods. There’s no excuse for bad moods. No excuses at all. We’ve been born again. No matter what the trial, no matter what the problem, no matter what difficulties we’re going through, we have a new nature that is more than sufficient to overcome that trial and overcome the difficulties that you, who are listening today, might be going through. There’s no excuse. Let’s get into the new nature!

Nancy: Of course, that new nature is filled with love and forgiveness. There’s no need to carry on with a big mood of hurt or bitterness. We cannot allow those things to just carry on. We must deal with them.

Colin: I find, especially as I’m getting older, that a lot of people can use this, “I’m getting older.” They get grouchy, and they get more negative towards people. That is also inexcusable.

Nancy: Well, Darling, I think you get sweeter as the days goes by. [laughter]

Colin: And you do too! [laughter]

Nancy: Can you pray, and pray for these precious families?

Colin:

“Lord, we come before You at the end of this podcast. We pray for all the listeners, and we pray that, oh Lord, the realization that You are living in us, the new creation that is so gracious. They wondered at the gracious words that proceeded out of Your mouth.

“And Lord, we pray that, oh God, that that gracious spirit shall be in all of us who are born again, and it shall be released, and that we will begin to discover these wonderful riches, the riches that you can’t equate with dollars. It’s all to do with the blessings of the things that create an amazing atmosphere in each one of our lives. So, people will come in contact with us, and want to be with us, because they feel and sense that life-giving spirit in each and every one of us. Grant it to all these listeners, and to all of us in our families. In Jesus’s Name, amen.”

Nancy: Amen.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 258: It’s Time to Elevate Home and Family, Part 1

"If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do?" My husband, Colin, joins me today as we discuss bringing family life back to its high status. Marriage, home, and family are the first institutions God ordained, before church and before government. They are still the foundation of society.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, everyone! I’m saying “everyone” because I don’t know who is listening. I hope everyone is listening! And to all you wonderful mothers all over the world, because many mothers are listening in many countries of the world.

Today I’m going to go on to a new series. I have been speaking for quite a few sessions about etiquette, and how we, as mothers, are the transmitters of God’s truth and His ways, and even godly traditions, to the next generations. I’m sure you found those a blessing. If you haven’t listened to them, I would encourage you to do so.

There are still lots of things that I could talk to you about etiquette. Lots of little things, even little things that have common sense, like, if you break something that belongs to somebody else, what do you do? Of course, you replace it. If you borrow something, well, you make sure that you give it back. Little things like that.

But I do have an etiquette series, seven posters of different aspects of etiquette. You can pick a lot of those up there. They’re wonderful for your children. They’re on a paper-colored paper, illustrated. You can laminate them to make them last longer, or use them as placemats, or you can pin them up on the wall in different places so your children can read them. They can begin to get these good things into their lifestyle.

But we’re going to move on today. I want to talk about elevating the home and the family to where God wants it to be. I believe that the family has been brought down to an inferior place. It’s not where God wants it to be. It’s time that we brought it back. I have asked my lovely husband to come and join me today and talk about this great subject.

Hi, Darling, do you want to say hi?

Colin: Yes, yes, this is very rare that I get an opportunity to speak on these podcasts. My darling wife has encouraged me to speak today. I think the subject of elevating the home is such an amazing subject because it’s so sad that so many, many families and homes are constantly, daily, being destroyed. This is the very foundation of our country, our society.

It’s very much in both my wife and I, our hearts. We feel it very, very deeply that God has put it upon us. There’s something there, an anointing of the Spirit, I guess, to speak about this, and to let everyone know the cry of God’s heart relating to the importance of the family.

Nancy: Amen! So, we’re going to talk about that soon. Just one or two things before we get onto the subject. I want to let you know that a new Above Rubies is getting on the way. I have prepared it, and it is now with the design artist. This is Above Rubies #101. I know it’s going to be a great blessing. There are so many wonderful testimonies and articles in this magazine. I know it’s going to be a great blessing, so once it is designed, then it will go to the printers. It’s coming up, and you will be able to look forward to that.

Another thing is that currently, Colin and I are part of something that is so powerful. It is worldwide. I hope you are part of it too. If you aren’t, you can pick up on it. It is called the www.Isaiah62Fast.com. That’s where you can go and look at it on the Internet. I’ll say it again. www.Isaiah62Fast.com.

Why is it called the Isaiah 62? Because it comes from that Scripture in Isaiah 62:6-7: “I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace, day nor night. Ye that make mention of the Lord,” that literally means those of you who are the Lord’s remembrancers, those who remind Him daily of His promises, “keep not silence, And give him no rest, till He establish, and He make Jerusalem a praise in the earth.”

God has done this miraculously and orchestrated it. The spear header is Mike Bickle. There are currently now five million people across the world who have committed to pray and fast, either full-time, or partially for Israel for three weeks. We’re now in the second week. But it’s not too late to become involved. If you would like to be part of something that is a world-wide thing, it’s something that God is putting on hearts everywhere, to be committed for specifically.

We should be praying for Israel every day, of course, but specifically, a three-week prayer and fasting world-wide for Israel. I do believe that this has been orchestrated by God. You can go onto that website, and you can get many Scriptures to help you in praying. Colin and I are doing that each day. We love our set-aside time as we pray together and read these Scriptures, these promises that God has for Israel.

Many of them have been fulfilled, but so many are yet to be fulfilled. We can pray them into fulfillment. We can remind God of His promises. He said that He wants us to be His remembrancers as we are on the wall, night and day, praying for His land and His people.

I believe, as Christians, we do have a responsibility to pray for Israel. We cannot forget Israel. It’s through God’s people that we have our living Word, this Holy Bible. It is through His people that our Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ, our Savior, came forth.

I remember God has many, many names. Many names by which we understand more and more of His character. But there is one name. I was reading it again the other day, in the Word of God. There is one name that God says: “This is My Name forever.” Well, all God’s names are forever, but there’s only this particular one that He specifically says: “This is My Name forever!”

Do you know what it is? Have you read it? It’s found in Exodus 3:15. It’s when God came to Moses at the burning bush. He told him and gave him that mission to go back into Egypt to deliver his people: “And God said moreover unto Moses, Thus shalt thou say unto the children of Israel, The LORD God of your fathers, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob, hath sent me unto you: this is My Name forever, and this is My memorial unto all generations.”

We gentiles, who have been brought in, we cannot forget, this is God’s Name forever, “The God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.” And we’d better not forget it! We’d better not forget that God, who we love, and Who we serve, and Who we worship, He is the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

One more thing, before we get started.

Colin: Or before you get . . .

Nancy: Yes, say something, Darling!

Colin: My wife and I have a real passion for Israel. We have very good friends over there. We’d love to go there more often than we do. Nevertheless, it’s a very prophetical nation. All these promises that we have to remind the Lord of, relating to His promises for Israel, and what’s going to be happening there. We know that Jesus is coming back, not just to the earth, to be in New York, or London, or Rome, or some other place like that. He’s coming back to Jerusalem. He’s bringing His people back from all over the world.

The enemy is contesting it incredibly. Because he's contesting it, they don’t know why, but they hate Israel. They loathe it. They want to get rid of it. This battle is going on, even to this very day. Missiles are still falling in many places in Israel. We do need to be praying for it.

Nancy: Yes! Amen! There is one specific thing.

Colin: Oh, one other thing, too. That is that (I don’t know whether you mentioned it), but probably right now, we have five million-plus people from all over the world that are praying for Israel during this special three weeks.

Nancy: Yes. Isn’t it wonderful to be part of something so great?

Colin: God’s going to do something great when you get over five million people fasting and praying. He’s going to break forth in some powerful way as far as Israel is concerned. Maybe as we pray for Israel too, it’s not a “maybe,” it will happen that God will bless us too, because He promised He will bless those that pray for Israel and bless Israel.

Nancy: Yes, something very specific, and I’d like to mention it, because out on the West Bank, which people often think is Palestinian territory, which is not correct. It is the very heartland of Israel. It is where the children of Israel first went into the Land when they crossed that river Jordan from the wilderness and moved into the Promised Land, the land of milk and honey.

But it is a contested territory. Sadly, our own nation, and many other nations, are trying to make Israel a two-state nation, which is totally against God’s plan and His Word, because He gave the land to His people for an everlasting possession.

But right now, there are 15 illegal Arab structures being built every day in Judea and Samaria. That’s the West Bank, the heartland of Israel. That’s 105 per week, and 450 per month, and more than 5,000 every single year! At this moment, there are more than 100,000 illegal Arab houses sitting in Area C, mostly on Israeli state land, and taking over Israel’s biblical heartland. This illegal, secret take-over of the heartland is well-funded and coordinated, and 100% dedicated to creating a terrorist-controlled Palestinian state. We need to pray against that.

But Ha Yovel, which is a wonderful organization, who are out there in the West Bank—

helping the farmers of Israel to possess the land,

helping them as they plant their vineyards,

and as they harvest their vineyards—

They have an exciting mission that they are putting into operation. I want to share this. If you have any sons or daughters, 18-35, can you tell them about this? Because to me, I think it is so amazing. I wish I was a young person, and I could go and be part of this.

But they are calling for young men and women who have a heart for Israel, to be part of biblical prophecy, fulfilling God’s promises to possess the land, and specifically the heartland of Israel. Now, the heartland of Israel is actually just barren hills. It is so barren. It’s nothing. And yet, God is doing miracles out there. When they plant vineyards on that barren land, they grow so prolifically. They grow the most glorious bunches of grapes you could ever see.

I have actually been out there, stood on literal stones, picking huge bunches of grapes off these vines. You wonder how it could happen. It’s actually miraculous. It is only through the prophetic Word of God.

But they have a vision to plant 10,000 trees. As they plant those trees, they are possessing the land for Israel which God has told them to do. He has said that when His people come back to the land that it will bring forth fruit for His people. The word of prophecy comes forth in Ezekiel 36. You can read it. To prophesy to the mountains, and the valleys, and the waste places, and to plant, and to grow. And that they’ll bring forth fruit.

They need, it’s going to be a huge task, 10,000 trees. So, from June 13 to July 25, six weeks, they’re calling for young men and women to come, plant these trees! It’s so exciting! I wish I could go. But if you’ve got young men, young women, 18 or over, just inspire them. They can go to HaYovel.com. You’ll see there, and you can begin to sign up for doing something that would be part of biblical prophecy and so exciting! You’d have to do it right now, because in a few days, they will have to close the people who want to sign up. So, get on with that! Amen!

Just wanted to share that before we get onto our subject of ELEVATING THE HOME AND FAMILY. Oh, precious ladies, mothers, fathers, we are in a state today of this overwhelming and rampant divorce rate. Marriage is failing. Families weakening, families fragmenting. We’re living in a society of abortion, where same-sex marriage and homosexuality are now the law of our land.

Now we have transgenderism where they are seeking to turn us away from who God created us to be—male and female. Even our young people, and even children are being encouraged to change into the opposite sex and their bodies are being mutilated! Where have and how have we got to this state?

I believe the root of this is the turning away from the home, when mothers began to vacate the home and mothering and enter into a whole lifestyle where God did not intend for them. It’s normal today. Every day, mothers are leaving their children in daycares and going out into their careers and to the work field. It’s not where they’re meant to be.

It’s time we turned the tide back! Mothers are meant to be in the home. The home is the most powerful place on earth. It’s time we got back to it because the only way we can bring this nation back is for mothers to come back to the home.

Fathers who’ve been abdicating their anointing as fathers and taking that leadership in the home to lead their families to God. Oh, as feminism has come in, men have become weakened. It is totally wrong! Men need to rise into their anointing of protecting and providing and leading their homes.

Mothers need to come back to this greatest career of all, of raising godly children in the home. Because when mothers get out of the home, the enemy, the devil, has his chance to get his claws on the minds and hearts of our children. That’s what he’s been doing. We now have colleges all across this land, filled with liberal young people who have been brainwashed and propagandized with lies from the enemy! They believe these lies. It’s time we did something.

Colin: Yes, it is. It’s true, the most vacated, I think, place in our society today is the home. When mothers are leaving the home in droves because of pressures of inflation, and all that which we are all facing at this time, is just another excuse to have a two-income situation. Mothers are leaving their homes.

MOTHERHOOD AND HOME ARE SYNONYMOUS TERMS

It’s tragic because motherhood and homes are almost synonymous terms. What’s a home if there’s no mother in it? The children, I do believe this, that the little ones need to have their mothers there with them in those early years, especially in the early years, where they can be developed and whatever their needs are, as they grow up, they’ve got a mother there. I don’t think a daycare worker can do what a mother can do. I really believe that.

Nancy: No way! It is impossible!

Colin: Yes, they need their mother’s protection. It’s motherhood that has affection. I think if somebody else was trying to act like a mother, but they’re not, that vibe doesn’t really resonate with the child. They need mother’s eyes, affectionate eyes; mother’s hands, affectionate hands and mother’s affectionate voice to soothe that child and to encourage that child in that time.

I think that children are missing something very, very important in their lives and the foundation of their character. It will have a serious effect upon them if they are not mothered by their mothers. There will be some nervous reactions.  There will be something that will be missing in their lives—that sense of security and love and affection of the mother is so important in the child’s development.

Nancy: Yes, and I do believe the fact that children who’ve been left and are left every day in daycare and so on, it does affect the children’s behavior. Children are born to have their mother. It’s how God designed it. In fact, the mother needs those children, and the children need their mother. Because they don’t have their mother, psychologically, there is something missing. They miss something in their lives that is so powerful.

Even when they come home, they sometimes take that out subconsciously on their mother, because they’ve been missing her, and they don’t quite know how to cope with that. It affects their behavior. You find that it’s much easier to be with a child who is constantly in the mother’s care. There’s security there. They’re so much easier to handle. You see such difficult behavior in so many young children today. Really, it’s because they have missed their mothers! It’s not what is meant to be.

Colin: I don’t really believe that the state school system has advantaged our society at all, actually, because sending your children off to school for, what, six or eight hours a day, is not being at home where their mothers are. Thank God for homeschooling families. I think it’s been a comeback. It’s a pioneering thing but it’s been a comeback for those that are doing it, to bring about the type of families that God wants.

MOTHER IS THE ANCHOR OF THE HOME AND SOCIETY

This is such an important subject that we’re dealing with today. But it’s so sad. A home without a mother in it is an empty shell, actually. There’s something very, very missing in that home when mother is not there. When children come home, even from school, and their mother hasn’t quite made it, or she hasn’t been able to get there in time, and all that kind of thing, it’s so sad, because then they’re rudderless. They have no anchor. The mother is the anchor of the home. In that sense, she becomes an anchor of society.

Nancy: Yes, and we go back to the very beginning, and we see here in Genesis, right at the beginning when God created the male and female, and then we go to chapter two, and God specifically talks about how He created the man first. The man, the male was created first.

Genesis 2:7: “And the LORD God formed man of the dust of the ground, and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul.”

The woman, the female, was not yet created. We don’t even read any inclination of anything about her until way down in verse 18. But the next verse after God created the man, in verse 8, it says: “And the LORD God,” what did He do next? Before He created the woman, He did something before He created her. Do you know what He did?

“And the LORD God planted a garden eastward in Eden; and there He put the man whom He had formed.” So, we see that the next thing God did, before He created the woman, was to create the home. The home, a place where the man and the woman would live and bring forth a family, and where they would raise that family. Somehow, the male, Adam, was able to survive without the home, although we don’t know what happened.

I often think, “Well, I’m sure God didn’t just leave Adam staring into space. I’m sure He must have taken him with Him, to show him, “Adam, this is what we do. I am preparing.” He showed Adam how it is the responsibility of the man to prepare that home for his wife. So, then we move on down the chapter. We read of how God put Adam to sleep, and then He brought forth a woman.

When He brought forth that woman and she woke up to life, where was she? She was in her home. God had the home ready for her, because this is where He wanted her to be. This is her sanctuary. This is the place where she will raise and mold her children. This is where she prepares children who will come forth to be the nation.

Our nation is only what the mothers are. We, as mothers, determine the destiny of the nation, as we are at home raising children, raising godly children. If we are not there, we are leaving them to someone else to raise! What are they putting into their minds? How are they raising them? We see now, today, we have a generation of children who are indoctrinated with lies and delusions and deceptions of the enemy.

Colin: Yes, it’s tragic, really, what is happening. But we take courage, because we believe that this is the truth that we’re sharing about here. It was a wonderful thing for Adam, knowing that his wife was in that home, part of that home. Home was a big thing. When she probably was out there in the garden somewhere, that gave the enemy a chance to get in and destroy the entire human race in many respects when he tempted her to fall, and she fell.

But the home is the place of security. The home is the place where God planted that lady to be the first mother. I think that America was its strongest when mothers were in their homes. This is a big thing for this nation, because we have fallen. Our homes, we’ve got beautiful homes to look at physically. But unfortunately, they’re like refrigerators. They’re dead, because there’s no loving wife, or no loving mother in those homes for many, many, many hours of every day.

That has to be remedied. I do believe this is part of the restoration that God wants to bring about, the turning of the hearts of the fathers to the children, the hearts of the children to the wisdom of the just, to the parents (Malachi 4:4-6 and Luke 1:16, 17). That kind of wisdom that comes from God; God wants much of all this to be shared in a growing family in the home.

I think it’s a primary responsibility of parents to be the major teachers, not the worldly-minded, highly skilled teachers that have been put through teacher’s training colleges, and all the rest of it, filled with all their false doctrines and so on. Giving children stuff that they should never be given, which would not help in even getting a good job, actually.

It’s just the basic things that are necessary, but they can also be taught at home. But there are things that are taught at home that are so incredible. I think we should see home as the place of the molding, the fashioning, the creating, and the bonding. The blessing is all done in the home. The anchor of that home is the mother.

Nancy: Yes. Amen! As you were saying that (I always love alliteration) and I noticed you were using “B.” I think, yes, as we are in the home, we are BUILDING the home. We are BLENDING our home as the children come along and we blend together. We are BONDING. Actually, one of the meanings of mother is the “bond of the home.” She is the bonder of the home.

Colin: Yes, yes, yes.

Nancy: And in doing that, we’re going to make it a BLESSING, and we’re going to make it BEAUTIFUL. Amen?

Colin: It’s impossible, I think, to be a mother and not have a home. I think she’s so connected to the home, not the workplace, not some big flashy building in the middle of the city somewhere. That’s not her home. That’s not where she’ll be satisfied. God has innately put into mothers, homemaking.

I just watched two little girls who were here at our home just yesterday when I came in. Two little girls, just sitting downstairs with their little cups, having a little tea party together while everybody else, all the other young people were out on the volleyball court. These two little girls were doing their little mothering time, the thing that they were created to be. It’s innately put into the female.

Nancy: Yes, yes. So true. Maybe there are some of you precious ladies who are listening, and you think, “That’s all very well, but we simply cannot survive without my going out and getting a job.” I know society has pushed us into this scenario, but I do believe, I do believe that God is so faithful. If we will believe and trust Him, He will enable us.

We do live in an era of history that is really quite affluent. There have been so many times in history when families have not lived in such an affluent society. They have lived in, often, very, very poor states, and yet, back then, they did not limit their families. They had big families. Somehow, God enabled them, and provided for them.

Even when we raised our children, I mean, really, we couldn’t afford to do it with my not being out in the workforce. But we did! Because God is faithful. We lived from hand to mouth, but we always survived. There are times when, oh, things are great! But there are times when things are not great. But we still survived, and we don’t have to have everything we think we have to have. It’s amazing what we can do without.

God has promised if we trust Him to provide our food and our clothing, and He does! I can remember saying as we were raising our children, “Look, oh! I would rather live in a tent then leave these children!” Somehow, I just could not leave them because that was in me.

But today, although this is within a mother, and even home is within a mother, they have had so much education that’s kind of educated it out of them. Their brains have been educated, oh, that they must get out and they must get a job and they must fulfill their great career. It’s all a lot of lies, because no mother will ever take her secular career with her into glory. No, it’s all going to be left behind. It’s all vanity.

The only thing that we, as mothers, will ever take into the eternal realm is our redeemed soul, and the redeemed souls of our children—the effect that we have, not only on our children now, but on the coming generations, what will they be like? Will they be righteous, God-fearing generations, or will they have turned away from God? And, of course, ultimately for eternity.

Colin: We were in eastern Europe some years ago, sharing on the subject of the importance of home and motherhood and so on. It was a large congregation that we were sharing with, with fathers and mothers. But the mothers in that audience, who had been in eastern Europe, had been under communism for many, many years. They were so conditioned by the communist ideology that mothers were forced, actually forced out of their homes to go to work. There was no difference between motherhood and fatherhood as far as income was concerned. All the children were to be raised by the government.

Now these mothers, now that they had been freed from communism, were still finding it very different in their brains, for their brains to be re-educated back to the importance of family and home. There was still that one-or-two child mentality. “We need to go to work.” It’s obvious that they seemed to love their work and being out of the home. They had been so conditioned.

This is where this modern society, what we’re being pushed to with the one-world government, and all the rest of it. Christians are the same mold that they had been pushed into and brainwashed. We cannot let that happen. I remember once, when we were traveling down through Kentucky, we went to see Abraham Lincoln’s birthplace where he was raised. It was just one big room, a one-room house.

Nancy: Yes, just a dirt floor.

Colin: And an open fireplace. There wasn’t even a real woodstove or anything like that. Just an open fireplace, and a dirt floor, yes. If they had to get something for the house, or anything, they had to saddle up their horses and probably ride horseback for miles.

Nancy: Yes! And out of that little shack came a great president of the nation.

Colin: One of the greatest presidents, yes.

Nancy: But our time is up, Darling, so we’ll have to do another one. Just as we close, I think why we are in this situation we are today with the mindset—it’s all just brainwashing in our schools and in our colleges. They have been brainwashed, and it’s all masterminded by the enemy, who absolutely hates God’s plan and His heart for home, for family. But we’ll talk more in the next session. Let’s pray.

Would you like to pray, Darling?

Colin:

“Lord, we thank You, Oh God, that You have designed motherhood and fatherhood. Different roles, but still even as fathers, they are to be those who see the importance of the home, and their wives being able to be homemakers and mothers. The privilege and the honor that men have to be able to come back from being the main provider for the home, to come home at night and to find that wonderful home and smell that beautiful meal that’s been cooked for them, and to enjoy the beauty of it all, and to feel the presence that’s in that home.

We pray that Oh, God, You will restore this truth because this vacating of the home, meaning that also there’s going to be less children and all that, we pray in Jesus’ Name that, Lord, You will restore us back to where You want us to be. In Jesus’s Name, amen.”

Nancy: Amen!

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

 

ETIQUETTE POSTERS

Seven Etiquette Posters to Bless Your Home! Pin them up all over your home to encourage better manners in your children. You can also laminate them and use them as place mats at the table.

Home Etiquette

Speech Etiquette

Table Etiquette

Daily Life Etiquette

Hospitality Etiquette

Church Etiquette

Work Force Etiquette

To order, go to: http://bit.ly/EtiquettePosters

Snippets:

I love these posters. Such great home school and disciplinary tools for parents to instill in their children. Each poster focuses on character qualities that are essential for children as they mature to being godly men and women for the Lord. A wonderful resource to purchase.

I like these posters. When I ordered them, I expected to receive something LARGER than what they are and that is fine with me. The posters are COLORFUL and just the right size to preserve in page protectors. In addition, they have timeless words we can learn from.

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 257: Mothers are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 9

Today we discuss etiquette when going to church. Are you teaching your children these principles? Should we bring iPhones or Bibles to church? What do you think?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies, and everyone who is listening today! Today I am going to give you another etiquette podcast. Hope you don’t mind! This time it’s about church etiquette. I think there are a few things we need to talk about in this area. I believe that church is really just an extension of our home. If we learn etiquette in the home, we’ll carry it over to the church. But there are a few things that we could talk about today.

MAKE IT OUR HABIT

No. 1. First of all, of course, we’d better get to church! There are a lot of families who don’t get to church. There are a lot of other families who get there haphazardly, whenever it works out. I do believe it is important to be faithful to the gathering of God’s people. We, as parents, need to be faithful, and we need to teach our children to be faithful. It’s one of the biggest examples that we set for them.

We look back to the example of Jesus. In the Word it tells us that He went into the synagogue on the Sabbath day, “as was His habit” (Luke 4:16). It was the habit of His life since He was a little child to go into the house of God each week. I believe we should make this a habit of our lives.

We all know this Scripture, don’t we, in Hebrews 10:25: “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together, and so much the more, as you see the day approaching.” God’s Word exhorts us: “Don’t forsake the assembling of yourselves.” You see, precious ones, we’re not just going to a building. We know the church is not a building. It’s the people! We are assembling. We are gathering with the saints.

God knows that we need one another. We need one another to encourage one another in the faith. It’s like a fire of coals. You take one of those beautiful red, burning coals from the fire, put it on the hearth, leave it for a while. Soon it gets black. Soon it gets cold. But you pick up that little coal again and you put it with the other coals that are burning brightly, and soon it begins to burn brightly as well.

God knows we need one another. Our faith is not only a singular faith. Romans 1:12 tells us, “It’s a mutual faith of you and me.” We need one another. I think if we really can’t be bothered meeting with the people of God, we do have a big question to ask ourselves.

IT’S HOW WE PROVE OUR SALVATION

In 1 John 3:14 it says: “We know that we have passed from death unto life.” Why? “Because we love the brethren!” If you love someone, you want to be with them. If you love the people of God, you want to be with them. This is the proof of our salvation. We know that we have passed from death unto life because we love the brethren!

If we are born again and truly love the brethren, there are two things that we will want to do. That is, we will want to meet with the saints of God. It will be our greatest joy.

And two, we’ll want to show hospitality to them because we love being with them!

SEEING ONE ANOTHER FACE TO FACE

I think of some of the examples of Paul’s heart to the believers. When he was writing to the Thessalonians in 1Thessalonians 2:17, he said: “But we, brethren, being taken from you for a short time in presence, not in heart, endeavored the more abundantly to see your face with great desire.” Yes, they were in his heart, but he longed to see their faces.

In chapter 3:6, he says: “Always desiring greatly to see us, and we also to see you.” Then we go down to 2 John 1:12. Here John is writing. He says: “I trust to come unto you and speak face to face, that our joy may be full.” Then in 3 John 1:14, he says, and he was writing to Gaius here: “I trust I shall shortly see you, and we shall speak face to face.”

You see, his desire was not, “Oh well, yes, I love the brethren.” But no! “I long to see you face to face.” Because that is true fellowship. That is true fellowship in our home, when we sit at the table with one another. That’s why we gather our family at the table—face to face, table fellowship. That’s why we gather with the saints, because it is face to face. Not table fellowship, but church fellowship. Let’s get to church! Amen? That’s a good thing, a good habit.

BE ON TIME

No. 2. Let’s get there on time. That’s a big thing too. Once again, I guess it’s our priorities. Well, I’m sure our husbands make sure they’re at work on time, especially if they are working for an employer. If they were continually being late, they would soon be fired.

And yet, how casually we treat meeting with God. God, our Creator, the God of the universe, the Potentate, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords. We just meander along to church. Well, if we manage to get there, then we can get there late, walk in late. Where are our hearts? We should be running to meet with the Lord. Running to meet with the people of God. Not just on time, but even trying to be early.

I know that’s not easy when you’ve got a baby, and you’ve got lots of little children. Oh, goodness me. I know. I’ve been there. Some mothers find it a good idea to put their phones on half an hour, even an hour, for Sunday, so that they are working towards the time, actually, that they might get there on time, or a bit over, but really, hopefully early. That can be a good idea.

Actually, getting ready for church doesn’t start on Sunday morning. It really starts the night before, doesn’t it? Preparing the clothes, making sure everything is ready for your children, so you’re not looking everywhere to find socks, find this, find that. No, you check all that the night before, so everyone is ready to get up, get dressed. You plan breakfast. You’ve got it all organized, so they can have a bit of protein to keep them going. You’ve got it all organized. It does take organization, yes. But we can do it, mothers. We can do it.

I remember back in the early days, back in New Zealand. My husband was pastoring. Of course, he would leave for the six-o’clock prayer meeting. They would pray at six o’clock in the morning. He would come back to get me. In those days, I didn’t even have a second car. He would come back to get me, to be ready in time to get there to church on time. I would have to be ready, all six children ready, baby ready, roast meal in the oven, because we would always be having visitors come home after church with us. I did it.

You can actually do what you want to do if you plan it, and if you want to do it. We can do anything we want to do, can’t we? It’s really how much we want to. We show our priorities. We show our children where our priorities are. We try as much to be on time. There are always unforeseen things that happen, of course, God understands that too. But we have it in our heart to do that.

DRESS APPROPRIATELY

Of course, we will come dressed accordingly. That’s why you will prepare your children’s clothes, well, your little ones’ clothes. Your older ones will be deciding what they wear, but of course, you’ll be checking what they wear as they come out of their rooms. Remember, we’re not going to the beach. We’re not going to a barbeque. We’re going to church, so we dress appropriately for the occasion.

If your daughter is coming out of her room, and she’s got on this little, short dress, just covering her bottom, are you just going to let her go? No. You’ll say, “Darling, sorry. We’re not going to the beach this morning. We’re going to the house of God. Just go and put on something that is honoring to God.” And so, we train our children. For our younger children, we’ll have the clothes that they will wear to church ready for them. That is appropriate. We’ll teach our children to come appropriately dressed. Amen?

BRING YOUR BIBLE

And, oh, I really don’t know how to talk about this next point, dear ladies. It’s about the iPhones and Bibles. I am a great believer in bringing our Bibles to church. Well, of course, I know everybody has their Bible on their iPhone these days. I have the Bible on my iPhone. And yes, I do use my iPhone for Bible study. I have a number of apps that really go into the Hebrew and the Greek and give me great understanding of words that I’m studying. I find that such a blessing.

But to tell you the truth, ladies, really, let’s get down to tin tacks. Most people are not really using their iPhones to really study the Word. When they bring their iPhones to church, they are very tempted to get onto other things, and to check their messages, and to even message other people. Oh yes, it’s happening all the time. I have seen people, I’ve observed this, just messaging, messaging other people. Thinking about other things.

HOW RUDE CAN YOU GET?

The preacher is preaching, and they are messaging somebody else! That’s why we don’t have iPhones at our table, in our homes. How rude, when we come together as a family to communicate and share together and some person is messaging someone else that we don’t even know, that is the height of rudeness. Well, it’s even more the height of rudeness when a pastor, a minister, is opening the Word of God, and we’re messaging somebody else. Or we’re just checking another message that’s just come in.

I think iPhones are dangerous in church. I think it would be a good idea not to allow our children to have their iPhones in church, or our young people, because how do we know whether they can trust themselves? Even I myself, I know, I could be tempted myself. These iPhones are the most terribly tempting things in the world and these messages pop up from nowhere! That should not be happening in church. So, I love to take my Bible.

I know another thing today, in so many churches, they put the Scriptures up on the wall. There they are, for everybody to see. Now people have become lazy. There’s hardly a person who brings a Bible to church. We’ve really lost out. There’s something powerful about having your Bible in your hand and looking it up.

Even when a preacher will put his Scriptures up on the screen, I still want to look them up in my Bible, because I’m looking there, and I can underline a word that’s really powerful. I’m also taking notes. I always have my notebook with me. I’m maybe writing down the Scriptures that I want to look at again later. I am involved. Are you really involved?

Well, of course, lovely darling moms with babies, that’s so much harder for you. You have your seasons. Oh goodness, I’ve been through those seasons. In fact, I’ve been through seasons when I think, “What is the use of me even going to church? I spent my whole service in the nursery!” Sometimes that happens.

The whole jolly time I was in the nursery, because this baby needed me, or this toddler was not being very good in church. But it was still worth going. I had to realize that I was still doing what God intended me to do, to assemble with the people. And there were other mothers in the nursery that I could talk to, that I could encourage. I could even be blessed because we were there together. It’s not always perfect. And there are different seasons in your life.

But lovely mothers, if you have a baby, and you’re nursing your baby, you can get your children, even young children, “Can you take notes for Mommy? Because I’ve got to hold Baby, and I’d love to be taking the notes of what the preacher is saying. Can you do that for me?”

You know, at some of my ladies’ retreats, I’ve had young children, five, six, seven years old, sitting in the front seats. They’re taking notes. Some of them are drawing pictures of what I am speaking about. They’ll show me later, and I am just amazed at what they have written! It’s unbelievable! They are involved. They’re listening, and they’ve got their eyes wide open. It’s exciting!

Teach your children to be involved, to take their Bibles, to take a notebook, even as soon as they can learn to write. Or even if they can just draw pictures. Teach them to draw what the preacher is saying. Wow! They can draw amazing things! They are involved. Oh, can you get a vision to see this? Wouldn’t it be amazing? It would be a revival if everybody came back holding their Bibles and looking them up. They would be true disciples!

What does it say in John? Jesus said these words in John 8:31: “Then said Jesus to those Jews which believed on Him,” notice that, ladies. He was talking to believers, the people who believed in Him. But then He said: “If you continue in My Word, then are you My disciples indeed, and you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” We often quote that Scripture, don’t we? We quote it so glibly. “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Oh, yes, we know it so well.

But we don’t read the verse before it. Jesus was talking to believers, and He said: “If you continue in My Word, then are you My disciples indeed.” Did you know, ladies, that there are believers, and there are disciples? Which one are we? And what are we training our children to be? We can be believers and yet not really disciples of Jesus and His Word.

Did you know that even the devil is a believer? Oh, yes, he believes in the Word, from cover to cover. He knows it and believes it, but he's not a disciple. There are many so-called Christians who are believers, but not disciples. We are only disciples if we continue in His Word, that we really want to get into it.

What does it say in 2 Timothy 2:15? This is a Scripture that I took hold of. I memorized it from a young person. “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” A disciple is one who, well, the word “disciple,” I’m sure you know it means “a learner, a pupil, one who receives instruction and makes it his rule of conduct.” If we’re a disciple, we’re constantly learning.

If our children are disciples, they are learning. They will have their Bibles with them at church because they will be looking up the Scriptures. They want to learn. They’re pupils! They don’t just sit there and play with some stupid thing, or look around, or goof off with every other young child they’re looking at. No, we’re teaching them to be disciples. “Study to show thyself approved unto God, a workman.” We’re working at it.

It reminds me of a great commentator, Alexander MacClaren. I read how that whenever he was preparing his sermons, or writing some theological book, he would go into his study, and he would put on his working boots, so that even as he was at his study, studying, he would realize he was working. I love that.

LET’S HAVE A REVIVAL OF PEOPLE BRINGING THEIR BIBLES TO CHURCH

I’d love to suggest that we all take our Bibles. I’d love to see a revival of everyone bringing their Bibles back to church. I don’t even like preachers preaching from their iPhones. Most of them do today. They’ve got their iPhones, and they’re trying to find the place, and it doesn’t even seem right. Can’t they get out a real Bible? Oh, goodness me! But if we all began to do it, we would encourage others.

TRY THE FRONT SEATS

Another thing is where you sit when you go to church. Now, I know that you, if you’ve got little children, and especially a baby, you’re going to be at the back. But do you know it’s not actually the best place? Do you know, now you wouldn’t believe it, but it’s true, the front seats are the most powerful place to be, even for families.

When I would sit in the front seat with my family, of course, maybe my husband is at the front preaching. Well, look out if they do something wrong! But still, even if it’s someone else preaching, somehow, they’re right under the eye of the preacher. There are no distractions because when you’re at the back, there are so many distractions! You’re looking at this and that, and your children have got so many distractions. There are other children around, and there are all distractions around you. Oh, goodness me! The most distracting place!

But the closer you get to the front, and even the front seats, your children will be better behaved. You will be amazed! Now, if they get difficult, you’ve just got to take them out. But it’s amazing the difference in their behavior. It’s worth thinking about.

If you don’t have little ones, get nearer to the front. Get your children, your children will be so much more involved. The front seats are the most powerful seats in church. They really are. I challenge you to try that, because it does really work.

Let’s think about a few other things here. If you do come in late, sometimes things happen, and someone is praying. Well, you wait until they have finished praying before you walk to find your seat. That is courtesy.

IT’S VERY RUDE

Don’t whisper to people or have a little conversations while the preacher is speaking. It’s terribly rude. Although I mainly just speak to women, and even in women’s meetings, I can’t believe it. I will see women chatting to one another at the back or whispering to one another. Or sometimes I can see them on their iPhones, and I know they’re messaging.

Can you understand what it does to the person who is speaking? My mind is quite . . . I don’t quite know what to do. I think to myself, often my thoughts will just leave me!!!! I think, “What am I doing? I might as well just stop. They’re going to be talking to someone else. They’re going to be messaging. Why am I even speaking?” It’s unbelievably rude!

Maybe if you’re not even in a church, but you’re at some other meeting where there’s a speaker. It is the rudest thing in the world to chat to someone, whisper to someone, while they are speaking! We should always give undivided attention. We have to teach our children these things. There’s so much of what people today that’s so rude! And they don’t even know it’s rude! They just do it.

Forgive me, darling ladies. Forgive me, young people. I’m saying these things, and forgive me, I’m saying it’s rude. But it is rude. We’ve got to wake up to the fact that we’ve got to teach this generation. We do it by example, that we give our undivided attention when someone is speaking! We do that personally and we do that when they’re speaking publicly. Anything else is rudeness. It really is.

You know, that never used to happen. There was awe and reverence in churches in bygone days. Today, there is such a casualness. I think a lot of it is just because we haven’t passed on true church etiquette. So, dear lovely mothers, can we begin to teach our children these things? Of course, as I said, we have to show by example. If they see us messaging, well, that’s, of course, what they’re going to do. If they see us talking to someone, of course, that’s what they’ll do. We show it by our example of how we want them to be.

Also teach your children not to wander in and out of church. It’s amazing to see people coming in, coming out. It’s amazing. I cannot believe it. There are two places where suddenly people want to go to the toilet! One is at the family meal table. Oh, you have to train your children! Goodness me, they want to get up and down to the toilet! They can play for hours and never go. But suddenly, when they’re sitting at the table, oh, they have to go to the toilet so many times!

And then, even at church, people, not even just children, but sometimes adults, they have to end up going to the toilet so many times! What’s wrong with them?? Goodness, they can last a lot longer when they’re doing other things! Somehow, we have to train our children in these things, don’t we?

When you come, come with cleansed and prepared hearts to come to worship the Lord. Don’t come with unforgiveness or bitterness against anyone, especially if you’re going to take communion. Goodness me, don’t take communion if you’ve got something in your heart against someone.

COME TO BLESS OTHERS, NOT JUST TO GET

Don’t come just to get, oh my, people come to church, and then they’ll say, “Oh, goodness me! Nobody talks to me. Why do I come? Nobody notices me. Nobody talks to me.” There’s all these excuses and self-pity. Goodness me! We don’t come to the assembling of the saints just to get, well, we would get, if we did. But we come, first of all, to give to God His praise and worship that He is so worthy of. We come to bless others.

Always come to church thinking, “Who can I talk to today? What little word of encouragement can I give to someone today?” At the end of the service, don’t just rush off. No! You see, that’s the trouble today. A lot of people think, “OK, church is just come; you come to hear the speaker, and then off you run!”

No, it’s coming to meet with the people of God! Don’t rush away until you’ve found someone to say hello to. Maybe someone who is new, someone you’ve never seen before. Talk to them. Give someone a little encouragement. Of course, the most ideal is either of two things.

One, that your church has a fellowship meal after the service, which we do in our fellowship. We have a fellowship meal every Sunday, which is so wonderful, so glorious. In fact, church is only part of church for the meeting time. The next half is the fellowship time because that is what God brings us for, to fellowship with one another, and break bread with one another, and love one another, and pray for one another.

Just to find out where one another are in their lives and what’s been happening during the week. Where can I help and what can I pray for? Oh, if we don’t have that, we really are not fulfilling the true assembling of ourselves together.

Now if your church doesn’t have that, you can still have it by showing hospitality. We have had different seasons in our lives, and we’ve been pastoring different churches where we didn’t have a fellowship meal. In those situations, we would always have hospitality. We would never leave the church gathering without asking a family home for a meal, or more than one family to come home and fellowship with us. Oh, it is such a blessing! And so needed. This is what real fellowship is.

That’s why I think what happened when this crazy plandemic happened, and they tried to shut down the churches. So many, so sadly, oh, what an indictment against the church of God, that so many shut down. They said, “Oh, well. That’s OK. We can have Zoom meetings.” Because their whole concept of church was just a meeting! They did not understand that it’s fellowship. You can’t fellowship on a Zoom meeting.

We need one another. That was really from Satan, to shut down churches so that the saints, the people of God, could not meet together. Well, they could, because there was no need for them to stay home, no need for the churches to shut down, because it was against the Constitution, and it was against the living Word of God. We obey God, and we obey the Constitution, not what some man says. So that’s why we need to seek to have fellowship as much as we can.

Now, what else can I share with you?

DON’T RUN HOME IMMEDIATELY

That is very important. Try to begin to ask someone home, to have fellowship, and have hospitality. Such a beautiful thing. I remember one time in our lives when I said to Colin, “Oh, look, every Sunday we have people home. It’s a lot of work.” Yes, hospitality is work, but it’s a blessing also.

I said to him, “Let’s just have a rest. Let’s just be together today.” Well, we did it. We didn’t ask anyone home. Well, it was the most boring Sunday of our whole lives! We just sat and looked at one another. Help! It was so boring. We didn’t have that beautiful fellowship of people that we would normally have. We never ever did that again. So, precious ladies, those are just a few thoughts about when we come together. I hope you can take them up too and be blessed. Amen?

“Oh, Lord God, we love You. We thank You that You have established everything in Your Word to show us the way, to show us, Lord, how we can truly live in the full victory of our Christian lives. Part of that is meeting with one another, gathering with one another, assembling with one another, blessing one another, praying for one another, showing hospitality to one another, forbearing one another. Lord, all these “one anothers” that You’ve given us in Your Word, help us to be people who are one-anothering each other, not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together.

“Lord God, help us to be truly families who are discipling families. Lord, we are ready to learn all we can. Lord, we’re not taking Your Word casually. Oh, God, we love Your Word, and we are putting into our children our love for Your Word.

“Oh, we even love to hold Your Word. It’s so powerful! Lord, we pray that our children will get a love for Your Word. They’ll want to take their Bibles with them when they go to church. They’ll want to get their Bibles out each day and search in Your Word. Help us, oh God, to be true disciples of You, and to raise disciples.

“I pray for Your blessing on every family, Lord, that we will no longer be ordinary, casual families, but, Lord, we will be families who are bringing revival to our churches, Oh God. Lord, bringing our Bibles, sitting in the front seats, with our notebooks and our pens, looking up at the preacher with excited faces, Lord God. Oh, Father, this would just change the atmosphere! Lord, help us to bring revival wherever we go! Oh, God, we ask it in the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

 

ETIQUETTE POSTERS

Seven Etiquette Posters to Bless Your Home! Pin them up all over your home to encourage better manners in your children. You can also laminate them and use them as place mats at the table.

Home Etiquette

Speech Etiquette

Table Etiquette

Daily Life Etiquette

Hospitality Etiquette

Church Etiquette

Work Force Etiquette

You will notice that we have CHURCH ETIQUETTE included.

To order, go to: http://bit.ly/EtiquettePosters

Snippets:

I love these posters. Such great home school and disciplinary tools for parents to instill in their children. Each poster focuses on character qualities that are essential for children as they mature to being godly men and women for the Lord. A wonderful resource to purchase.

I like these posters. When I ordered them, I expected to receive something LARGER than what they are and that is fine with me. The posters are COLORFUL and just the right size to preserve in page protectors. In addition, they have timeless words we can learn from.

 

 

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 256: Mothers are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 8

More tips on etiquette in your home, or when in other people's homes. What do you do when people come into your home who have different standards than you do?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, lovely ladies, and young people, and children! Oh, I hope I have some children listening today. And gentlemen, if there are any fathers or dads, or young men listening. We are still talking about etiquette in the home, or when we go to someone else’s home. I still have a few things to talk to you about this subject. There are lots of practical things.

I did mention last time that I would give you some Scriptures about what to do when people come into your home and maybe they have different standards than you do, or they do things differently. You wonder, “Well, how do I work this? What do I do about it?”

THE SAME LAW

I used to wonder about this same thing. When people would come into my home and they had a totally different standard, I wondered, “What should I do? Should I just let them do what they want?” Then I found these Scriptures. Isn’t it wonderful to find an answer to everything you need? God has an answer for everything. Let me give these to you.

Exodus 12:49-50: “One law shall be to him that is homeborn, and unto the stranger that sojourneth among you. Thus did all the children of Israel; as the LORD commanded Moses and Aaron, so did they.”

Again, over in the next book, Leviticus 24:22: “Ye shall have one manner of law, as well for the stranger, as for one of your own country: for I am the LORD your God.”

Then we go to Numbers 9:14: “. . . You shall have one ordinance, both for the stranger, and for him that was born in the land.”

Numbers 15:14-16: “And if a stranger sojourn among you, or whosoever be among you in your generations . . . as ye do, so shall he do. One ordinance shall be both for you of the congregation, and also for the stranger that sojourneth with you, an ordinance forever in your generations: as ye are, so shall the stranger be before the LORD. One law and one manner shall be for you, and for the stranger that sojourneth with you.”

That’s pretty straight, isn’t it? We really get the message. As you do, shall he do also. We also read, in Numbers 15:29: “Ye shall have one law for him that sinneth through ignorance, both for him that is born among the children of Israel, and for the stranger that sojourneth among thee.” 

I have many more Scriptures. I will put them in the transcript, for those who like to read the transcript.

There you go, ladies. You’re wondering what to do. Well, here, this is God’s pattern. The standard, the pattern that we have for our home is what we keep to. We don’t change it for somebody else who comes into our home. They are to do what we do in our home. That’s what I have always taken.

If I have children coming in and they start jumping on my furniture) and I’ve even found them jumping on the beds!) Well, that’s not the standard in my home. If their parents don’t tell them, well, I’ll have to tell them. I’ll just tell them nicely, “Now, children, in our home, we don’t jump on the sofas, so I don’t want you to do that. Thank you.” But we keep to our standards.

Everybody has different standards in their home. I don’t like people to have chewing gum in my home. In fact, can you believe it? Just the other day, I scraped some more chewing gum off the floor. Oh, I just can’t believe it! I don’t like doing that. That’s one of the reasons I don’t like to have it in my home. And yet, it still happens, because we have so many people coming and going in our home. But I try to keep to the same law. Well, those are just some little practical things of course.

But there are bigger things and bigger standards that we have. We keep to them.

We love to have family devotions and gather everyone in our home every morning and evening to come together and have the reading of the Word and pray. If anyone is staying in our home, we expect them to be part of that.

Perhaps if they’re not Christians, well, we still expect them to be part of this. But we will adjust a little. Instead of everybody praying around the circle, or around the table, we will perhaps eliminate that, and Colin will just pray. But we don’t deviate from our pattern. So, there you go. I love those Scriptures.

Today I’d like to talk with you about a few more little random things, little other things of etiquette that may seem trivial. But they are all important. These are little things, dear mothers, that we must be continuing to pass on to our children. These very important traditions are passed on down the generations, because etiquette, as I have shared, is not just some idea. No, it’s for the blessing of our families. It’s for the blessing of other people. It’s thinking about others, rather than yourself.

PUSH THE CHAIR BACK AT THE END OF THE MEAL

What have I got written down here, for a start? When you are sitting at the table, and it comes to the end of the meal, it’s a good habit to get into, to teach your children to push the chair back to the table when they leave the table. Often, at the end of a meal, the chairs are all around. It doesn’t look very nice when they’re not all put back straight. That’s a good habit to get your children into. It’s a lovely habit, so when they go to someone else’s home, they will put the chair in. That’s very nice for the people who they are visiting. They will be impressed, and it will be so helpful to them.

By the way, mothers, have you been implementing some of these etiquette things that I have been sharing with you? I hope so, because we need to start implementing them, and little by little, making them habits in our children’s lives, because it prepares them when they go to someone else’s home. When they grow up, they will know how to conduct themselves properly.

WAIT TO EAT UNTIL THE HOSTESS BEGINS EATING

Also, when you sit down to a meal, you don’t just suddenly start eating. Of course, we’ll all say grace. Usually the father will give grace, give the blessing. It’s lovely if we all hold hands. But even at home, it is etiquette to wait. If you’re out, of course, you’re always going to wait for the host to begin eating. That’s when you know, “OK, we all start eating.”

They should get into the habit of that at home. Wait until the mother begins to eat and then we will all start eating. That is etiquette. Especially when you are at someone else’s home. Don’t just start eating and you’re still waiting for the hostess to begin. That’s quite rude.

NO KNEES UP ON THE CHAIR

Another little etiquette rule: no knees up at the table. Should I even have to say such a thing? And yet, I have had children come to my table, and they put their knees up at the table when they’re eating! I can’t believe it! Obviously, their mothers haven’t trained them.

Recently I saw a young person. Now, she didn’t put her knees up at the table while we were eating but when it came to family devotion, and we were talking and sharing, she put her chair back and put her knees up. Oh, my. That’s not what you do while you’re at the table. And here she was doing it in another person’s home. Obviously not trained in her own home. That’s another little thing we have to train our children with. You may have to do a little bit of training until they get out of that habit.

DON’T PUT YOUR FEET UP ON SOMEONE ELSE’S FURNITURE

Talking about the way we sit, don’t put your feet up on other people’s furniture. Now when you’re at home, oh yes, a home is a place to relax. Oh yes, maybe even put your feet up on the furniture at home. And of course, you yourself, or maybe your children, when they want to lie down, and they’re feeling they want to relax, they can lie on the sofa and put their feet up and take the whole sofa. That’s fine in your own home.

But you’d better teach your children that you don’t do that in someone else’s home. That is taking liberty in someone else’s home that you never do. You’re teaching your children, “Don’t ever put your feet up on someone else’s furniture. When you sit on their sofa, sit straight. Sit nicely. Don’t lounge around or put your feet out.” Oh, my. That is rude to do that in someone else’s place.

Teach your daughters how they are to sit correctly. When they sit on a chair, or sit on a sofa, they sit with their legs together. That’s an important one to teach them. Their legs together, facing the front, or facing sideways. Or they can have their ankles crossed. It’s better to have just the ankles crossed, but you can cross your knees. But for a daughter, never, never to cross her leg over the upper part of her leg like a man sits.

Sadly, there are so many young girls who sit like this today. And even mothers! I simply can’t believe it! I see mothers sitting with their legs crossed like a man sits. Help! What has happened? I think that’s only happened because of women wearing pants. It’s not something you can do nicely when you’re wearing a dress. But because women wear pants everywhere now, they just, OK, now they sit like men.

But please, watch that in your daughters, that they don’t get into that habit. We should not only act like females, and sit like females, but in every way show our femininity. We do it especially in the way we sit.

WHEN ASKED TO A PARTY, GREET THE HOSTESS OR HOST WHEN ARRIVING

If it’s a big party, and sometimes you’re asked to a barbeque, or a big party; a function, a birthday party, or whatever it is. It can even be a wedding. There are different things you do at different occasions. But one thing to remember, maybe I’ve told you this before. It’s worth telling you again. When you go to a function or a party, always make a note of addressing the host or hostess when you arrive, saying, “Hi! So great to be here. Thank you for inviting me.”

NEVER LEAVE A PARTY WITHOUT THANKING YOUR HOST AND HOSTESS

And also, never miss this one. Never leave a party or a function without finding the host or hostess and letting them know you are leaving. Thank them again. Say, “Thank you for inviting me. It’s been such a blessing to be here. We’re leaving now, but just wanted you to know it’s been a joy to be with you.” Always let your host and hostess know that you are leaving.

I have had so many functions in my home over the years, hundreds of parties and functions that I’ve organized. I am just amazed how very few, well hardly any, will ever come to me and say good-bye. People coming and never say hi. Then they leave. I look around. “Oh, wow! I wonder where that person is.” Oh, they’ve gone. They never even said good-bye.

That is the rudest thing you could ever do. To go to someone’s home, or even to their function, even to a wedding, and enjoy it, be there, and then just leave without any contact, without saying good-bye, without any thank you. This hardly happens today, because this generation hasn’t been taught. Teach your children these things. If they’re going out to a function, say, “Hey, don’t forget to say hi to the parents,” or whoever’s putting it on. “Don’t forget to find them and say good-bye and thank you before you leave.” Those are very important etiquette rules.

DON’T OUTDO YOUR WELCOME

If it’s just a little intimate time, or you’ve been asked as a family to come to another family, well, there you are. You’re talking together anyway. Once again, we have to learn to watch out. Don’t stay too long. Learn to know when it’s the right time to go. Don’t outdo your welcome.

BE EXUBERANTLY THANKFUL

And, of course, do thank the people for having you. As you’re going, say, “Well, time to leave now. It’s been great to be with you.” And thank them. Always be thankful. Thankfulness is a huge part of etiquette. We can never ever be too thankful. You can be over the top in being thankful. In fact, so much in the Bible, it talks about outdoing it, bountifully, and abundantly. Those words mean “over the top, more than enough, extravagantly, excessively.”

But I think of some of our grandchildren, specifically the Johnson grandchildren. As they were growing up, they were taught to be so thankful. If it was birthday time, or Christmas time and they were getting their presents. When they got a present, they just didn’t open it. No, they would go to the person who gave it to them and give them a great big hug and say, “Thank you SO-O-O-O-O MUCH!” They were always over the top in their expressing and giving thanks.

I remember once when a dear family came to stay with us. They were raising their young children and they went over to the Johnsons to spend some time with them. They got a hold of this, “Oh, THANK YOU SO-O-O-O-O-O MUCH!” They took it up, and they began, “Oh,” at the end of our meal. We’d just given them a meal and they would say, “Thank you SO-O-O-O-O-O MUCH!” And all the children would say it. I’ll never forget.

They had stayed with us for a few days. They were leaving, and of course we were outside. We always go out to say good-bye to our guests. We were waving them good-bye. They put their heads out the window and all the children put their heads out the windows of the car. They all said, “And THANK YOU SO-O-O-O-O-O MUCH!” It was over the top but so great! It’s just so wonderful!

We shouldn’t be miserly in our thanks. We should be over the top, excessive in our thanks. Yes, abundant in our thanks to God for everything! And to one another for everything. You can’t be too over the top in thanking your husband, even for the little things he does. Thanking your children when they do something, or even do their chores well. Don’t just take it for granted. Thank them! Yes, show your appreciation. Show your gratefulness.

CHANGE BABY’S DIAPER AWAY FROM PEOPLE’S NOSES

Oh, here’s another little thing. If you’re at someone else’s home, and you have a little baby, think about that when you’re going to the home. Maybe you would even want to take a little plastic bag with you so that if you have to change a dirty diaper, you don’t have to go the host and say, “Oh, have you got something I could put this in?” No, you’ve already brought a plastic bag.

When you change the diaper, you won’t just do it right in front of everybody’s noses. That’s not what you do. Think about other people. We don’t mind the smell of our own baby, but other people don’t always appreciate it, so just go a little way from the table or the living room where you’re all sitting together and change your baby away from others. Put the diaper in a plastic bag. You can even pop it in your bag to take it home, or you can ask them, “Where can I put this?” But you’ve already got it in a plastic bag and contained. So, think about those things. They’re just little thoughtful etiquette things.

AFTER STAYING IN A HOME, TAKE OFF THE SHEETS AND LEAVE THE ROOM TIDY

If you are staying in someone’s home, remember, of course, you’ll begin to have the same laws that they do. As they do, so will you do. At the end of the stay, take the sheets off the bed, because they’ll need to be washed. You can even ask the hostess, “Do you have clean sheets that I can put on the bed for you?” If she says, “No, I’ll see to it,” well, OK, that’s fine. But you can still take them off and put them there in the room or the laundry for them.

Leave the room tidy and swept. Don’t just leave things. I’m sure that when you arrived, everything was clean and lovely, so leave it as you found it. Leave a little thank-you card in the room. Or if you don’t happen to have a card, don’t forget to email, or write a note of thanks. Thank them later for the stay.

CALL OLDER PEOPLE MR. AND MRS.

Another thing, what do you call people? Now this is especially for young people. Young people, are you listening to all these etiquette ideas? They are so important for you, because they will help you so much, not only to make your own home such a more lovely place to live in, but for when you go out, and when you grow up, and you will know what is right to do.

I do believe that it is important to show respect to elders. I don’t believe that children and young people should call older people by their first name. I have had children come up to me and call me “Nancy.” I beg your pardon. I am more than their parents. I’m not only a grandparent, I am a great-grandparent.

It’s time that young children, and even young people, are taught how to respect older people. It’s not the children’s fault if they do that. It’s because they haven’t been taught. So, dear mothers, dear parents, teach your children to show respect to older people, and to call them “Mr. So-and-So,” or “Mrs. So-and-So.” That shows respect. Don’t let them call an older person, even another parent, by their first name. That is just too common.

But, of course, there are some people, maybe in your church fellowship, or people you know well, they’re not blood-family, they’re not flesh-and-blood family, but they’re so close to you. Then you can maybe encourage your children to call them “Auntie” and “Uncle.”

We did that a lot with our children as they were growing up in our church fellowship. That was back in New Zealand in their young days, and then even in Australia. In their young days, there were people who were so much part of our lives. We would encourage them, and talk with the people, of course, and establish calling them “Auntie So-and-So,” and “Uncle So-and-So” because it was too formal to call them Mr. and Mrs. They were so much a part of our life. But they were still showing respect by using the “Auntie” and “Uncle.”

I think of one couple, Val and Bill Stares. Val is the director of Above Rubies in Australia. She was with me the very first day I got the vision for Above Rubies, way back in New Zealand in 1977. She has been with me in the vision ever since and is still looking after Above Rubies in Australia today. This family was so much part of our lives, so the children grew up calling them Auntie Val and Uncle Bill. My children are in their 50’s today, and they still call them Auntie Val and Uncle Bill.

I remember, too, when we were in Australia, and we had the Newsboys living with us at that time because the News Boys began in Australia. They actually had begun, they started their band, but it was our son Wes, who brought them to the States. It first started out in our church in Australia.

Our sons decided that they were going to set up this Christian nightclub. The Gold Coast of Australia is a place of nightclubs. It was a very challenging place to pioneer a church and for young people to stay on fire for God. It was a very worldly place. There were nightclubs everywhere that were luring these young people in.

So, our boys decided to start a Christian nightclub called “Club Genesis.” They set up a coffee bar and they set up table tennis and pool. They brought in these bands to play Christian music, and who would give their testimonies. It was a great place for young people to come to that was wholesome.

One of the bands they brought in, the Newsboys, were the most popular. Plus, they were the keenest for God. They would get out there into the prayer meeting, praying up a storm for about an hour before they would even come and play to these young people. Then eventually my son Wes started doing their sound. Then he became their manager. Then he brought them to America. That’s history. They have become what they are today.

But of course, there came a time when they began to live with us at certain times. They were very close to us. They were very respectful, but it became a little formal to call us “Mr. and Mrs. Campbell.” Here they were, living in our home with our sons, so they compromised. They would call Colin “Mr. C.” So, it was more endearing, but it was still respectful. In fact, if you were to go back to some of the very, very early CDs of The Newsboys, you will see there, “Thanks to Mr. C." That’s what they would call him.

STAND UP WHEN AN OLDER PERSON COMES INTO THE ROOM

So, we just have to teach our children how to be respectful towards what they call older people. We are to show deference to older people. The Bible tells us that we should actually even stand up when they come into the room.

Leviticus 19:32: “Stand up before the gray-haired person. Honor the face of the aged, and revere your God.” I wonder if we teach that to our children.

If an older gray-haired person comes into the room, and they’re sitting down, they should immediately stand up. They should welcome them. They should go to them and say, “I’m Johnny Brown, and it’s so wonderful to meet you,” and shake their hand.

TEACH YOUR CHILDREN HOW TO SHAKE HANDS PROPERLY

That’s another thing we have to teach our children, isn’t it? How to greet people. So many children and young people don’t know how to greet people. We need to teach them, teach our children how to shake hands. Sometimes you need a bit of practice with that. Do some practice with them. Practice shaking hands so they know how to have a good handshake, a good, strong handshake.

Have you ever done some practice with your children about that? Do it. It’s most important, so they know. They don’t have this little, weak, oh, doesn’t it make you want to vomit when someone shakes your hand, and it’s so weak? Oh, you can’t even stand it! No, teach them how to have a good, strong handshake, and how to tell people, “Hello. My name is Susan Hermitage, and I am so glad to meet you!”

WHEN A FEMALE ENTERS THE ROOM, A MAN SHOULD STAND UNTIL HE FINDS A SEAT FOR HER

Oh, teach them how to greet people, and how to show respect. How to stand up if an older person comes into the room. And if a lady comes into the room, a boy should give up his seat for that lady. Even when a female enters the room, a man or a boy should remain standing until she is seated. They stand until they have found a seat for her. That is absolutely true etiquette.

And, of course, we all know that a man should give up his seat to a lady if there are no seats for her and open the door for her. All those little things we all know so well.

I think that our time has gone. Those were just a few more things I wanted to pass on to you. One little thing at the end; some people have shared to me; some mothers are so concerned about their daughters who are such tomboys. “How can I make them feminine?”

Well, dear mothers, I want to say, don’t be too worried. I was the biggest tomboy you could ever find. Being a tomboy doesn’t mean that your child is having a problem with their gender. This is the deception we are facing today. There are loads of girls who are naturally tomboys. They want to run with the boys and do all the fun boys’ things. They’re just children! It’s part of being a child.

I was mostly standing on my head and playing with the boys, but it wasn’t that I wanted to become a boy. I was enjoying my childhood, being a rough-and-tumble. It’s just a season. Their hormones haven’t even started yet. They will change as they get older, and they begin to bloom in their femininity and their womanhood.

That is the tragedy of what is happening in this hour, of these young children. Maybe they’re a bit of a tomboy, so, oh, their crazy parents, or the school, thinks, “Oh, goodness me! They’re meant to be a boy!” They’re immediately getting them into counseling and getting their bodies mutilated! It is absolute rubbish because their hormones haven’t even been aroused yet. What tragedy, what tragedy. They won’t ever be allowed. They’re finished. They will never enjoy who they are meant to be.

We stand against this wicked transgenderism. But just the naturalness of a daughter in her little childhood season wanting to be a bit of a tomboy, I wouldn’t worry too much at all because it’s just natural with many daughters. Of course, you will be watching and guarding. You will make sure that you dress them accordingly.

I mentioned the other day that many mothers are setting their children on a path for their life by the way they dress, and because that’s how you dress little children today. You go to the shop, and everything is jeans and stuff, so little children, from the time they’re toddlers, they’re dressed in pants and jeans. They’re growing up thinking that’s what you wear as a woman. Well, no, it’s not. But we better train them from little, OK? Just giving you those few things to think about.

“Dear Father, we thank You that You are a family God. You are interested in every detail of our families. Lord God, You want our families to be filled with joy and love and peace, all these little things that help this to happen. Help us to think about these little things of etiquette that can so change the atmosphere of our homes. Help us as mothers to be faithful in transmitting and passing on these good things to the next generation. We ask it in the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

www.aboverubies.org

Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.

FURTHER SCRIPTURES ABOUT “THE SAME LAW”:

Read Exodus 20:10; 23:12; Leviticus 16:29; 17:10-16; 19:34; 20:2, 3; 24:16; Deuteronomy 5:14; 16:11, 14; 29:10-13; 31:12, 13; Joshua 8:33; 8:35; 2 Chronicles 30:25; and Isaiah 56:6, 7.