SHOULD MARRIAGE BE EXCLUSIVE?
A Facebook question popped up on my Facebook awhile back: “What do you think about having a male friend apart from your husband? Vice versa too? Can it be a purely platonic relationship?”I was grieved in my spirit by the answers to this question. Most answered saying they thought it was healthy and beneficial to have friends of the opposite sex who were not their husband.
I beg your pardon! What has happened to God’s ideal of marriage? What has happened to the sacredness of marriage? What has happened to keeping true to our solemn marriage vows?
The minister asks the couple to repeat: I, ________, take thee ________, to be my wedded husband/wife, to have an to hold from this day forward, for better for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, and FORSAKING ALL OTHERS, BE FAITHFUL ONLY UNTO HER/HIM ’til death do us part, according to God’s ordinance; and thereto I PLEDGE THEE MY TROTH.”
I guess that many have never heard the last phrase, “pledge thee my troth.” but I love these words. They were always part of the original marriage vows. The word “troth” means to pledge lifelong faithfulness, truthfulness, loyalty, and fidelity.” Troth not only rhymes with oath but is a synonym of oath.
We know that “forsaking all others,” means to keep sexually pure in marriage. But I believe it means more than that. It means forsaking PERSONAL friendships with the opposite sex. I don’t care what all these other folk say, it is not God’s plan for marriage. Now that doesn’t mean you can’t have friendship with men. My husband and I have many friendships with couples and families together. We have given ourselves to hospitality through the years and we enjoy the rich blessing of many couples at our table as we enjoy friendship together.
But I wouldn’t dream of going out to eat or going somewhere on my own with the husband of one of those couples. Why do I need to do that? Why do I need another guy apart from my husband? I have vowed to forsake all others and be faithful only unto him—sexually, emotionally, mentally, and because of my scared marriage vows. Marriage is exclusive, not only physically, but also emotionally.
And how does this affect our children and the next generation? I recently asked some young people: “How would you feel if your father or mother went out on their own with someone of the opposite sex?” They were aghast. They said it would make them feel very insecure. One girl mentioned that one time she was coming home from work and saw her mother with another man in the car. Her heart fell. She arrived home to find that her mother was taking the builder home who was working on the house! But just seeing another man in the car devastated her.
Blessings to you today,
Nancy Campbell
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