Someone Was Missing!

I grew up in a typical American family in the 1970's---dad, mom, my brother, and me. My dad worked hard to provide and my mom stayed home to care for us. Even with a five year age difference, people asked if my brother and I were twins, we were so close. We did everything together. We were American Indians building tipis, cowpokes wearing our matching fringed vests and holsters, and pioneers living off the land in the woods behind our house. We took turns playing Barbies and Matchbox cars.

We had tons of fun times, yet something was missing. My brother and I both felt that there should have been another sibling between the two of us (a sister, in my mind). We spoke of it to each other, but never to our parents. We both wanted more playmates and all our adventures included large families. If one sister and one brother could have fun together, surely more would have a blast!
Mom would sometimes bring up wanting to be pregnant again or adopting a boy for my brother and a girl for me, but nothing ever happened. I never knew about birth control and sterilization. I just figured that she couldn't have any more babies and that we were not able to adopt.

As an older child, I would pretend to be pregnant, giving birth, and nursing babies even though I had never been around any of that in my home. My mom didn't breastfeed and I don't have many memories of life before my brother. I remember a picture that I drew as a young teen of my future family. I was in the center, surrounded by my children of four girls and four boys.

This desire never left me. Later in high school, I was talking with one of my best friends and told her that I wanted to have at least six to eight children someday. In my junior year, that same best friend introduced me to his college-aged brother. He became my first boyfriend a month later.

The week of my graduation, I found out I was pregnant. My parents were upset. To tell you the truth, upset is putting it mildly. They had never yelled at me before that time. There were many tears, pleadings, door slammings, and outbursts after my graduation ceremony. I spent at least one night sleeping in my car at the end of my driveway trying to avoid another heated conversation.
My parents wanted me to go to college, not get married to my first boyfriend, and throw my life away. The only way to fix this was to have an abortion! They told me that later on I would be a more capable mother as a college graduate. I would be doing my boyfriend, myself, and this baby a disservice if I kept it and became a wife and mother now.

"I just can't," I replied.

My mom assured me that it would be alright. After all, it wasn't as if I was really in love with my boyfriend. We weren't really committed. She told me she had an abortion when she was married, for goodness sake. Between me and my brother.

I was shocked, horrified, and devastated. My brother and I knew all along someone was missing! But, how incredibly horrible! My little sister had been killed. Taken away from us by our own parents, her own parents. I mourned my loss and have not stopped doing so for these last 25 years. My sister, my children's aunt, my children's cousins, my nieces and nephews and their children--all taken from our family. I hope to see my sister in heaven, but we will never have the opportunity to meet her family because they were never allowed to be.

Abortion is a devastating action. It destroys a precious baby from God. It destroys moms and dads emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually (maybe the abortion caused some of my mom's depression). It destroys the family that God desires to design and give. It destroys trust and innocence. It destroys life-long sibling bonds and more. It destroys what should be.

Thank God for His grace that He bestows upon all who come to Him through His Son, Jesus Christ. This is the only hope for those of us who suffer the consequences of abortion. Whether you are a doctor or nurse who has aborted babies, grandparents who convinced their daughter to abort their grandchild, a father who convinced his child's mother to abort their baby, or a mother who aborted her child. If you have had someone taken from you through abortion, Christ Jesus can forgive, cleanse, comfort, heal, restore, and renew you. Come to Jesus today, right now!

A GRIEVING DAUGHTER

P.S. WHAT HAPPENED TO ME? My first boyfriend and I celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary this year, along with our six children! Thank you, Lord.

Twins Saved from Abortion

I grew up godless and delighted in indulging myself with whatever my heart desired. In September 2002 I began my junior year in high school, and at the age of 16, became pregnant. I was terrified. This could not be happening to me. How will I tell my mother? Her motto was, "Get pregnant in my house and you get out." (I love my mother and our relationship has since been redeemed).

Abortion was never a thought in my head, even though I knew it meant I would have to leave home. I was around six weeks pregnant and faced extreme pressure from family to abort. I was told that my life would be over, I would amount to nothing, and any chance I had at success would disappear. Still, I maintained my stance. I would not terminate.

I went in for my first check-up and I experienced the shock of my life. There were two heartbeats! I was carrying identical twins! I experienced confusion, excitement, fear, and elation all at the same time.

Upon leaving the hospital, I informed my parents I was having twins. Their disappointment was unmistakable. However, I felt peace and was confident I was making the right choice. I went home that night and imagined the tragedy if I had given into the pressure and aborted. I would have killed not one, but two precious lives. I was so grateful to not live with that on my conscience.

My mother stuck to her word and because I did not abort, I had to leave. I was homeless and no one in my family knew where I was living. my sixth month of pregnancy and when winter was in full effect, I went to live with an aunt and am very thankful for her taking me in. Despite the stress of pregnancy, homelessness, and attending school, I persevered.

At 35 weeks I went into labor. On Wednesday, May 22, 2002, I gave birth to two healthy little girls. It was a day that I will not soon forget. My mother eventually came around. She was there for the delivery and she and my father are a part of my children's lives today!

I went on to graduate high school...one year early! In addition, I married my high school sweetheart, went on to college and graduated in 2007. It can be done. Currently, I'm enjoying homeschooling, homemaking, and living to glorify God!

My twin daughters are now 10 years old and recently wrote my husband and I a letter thanking us for not aborting them! These are two little girls understand the gift of life and that babies are a gift and a reward.

My husband and I finally came to know the Lord in 2011. God had a plan for me all along, even when I did not acknowledge Him. He protected and comforted me in my darkest hour. He was the peace and confidence I felt when I made the decision not to abort. We have since turned all the details of our lives over to Him.

I have been immensely blessed through my twins and succeeding children. I did not sacrifice anything in my life by giving birth to my girls. I am so grateful for God's will and His plan for the lives of my children.

Our twins have their own testimony on abortion at 10 years old! They are very grateful for their lives and contribute to the pro-life cause. I have been told I should mind my own business and let women choose what is best for them. However, I believe the words of Jesus who said that we are the "salt" and "light" of this world. I believe my purpose is to encourage women to seek the Lord in all things and lean not on their own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6).

I encourage mothers who have aborted to seek God's redemptive and forgiving power. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sings, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

KRISTINA SMITH
Hiram, Georgia, USA
http://mosaicofblessings.blogspot.com/

HAVE YOU BEEN BETRAYED?

How "Birth Control" Pills cause early Abortions

By J. T. Finn

Physicians across America, and around the world, are now confirming that the Pill, IUDs, Depo-Provera and Norplant cause early abortions.

First, a look at the Pill. Research shows that in many cases the Pill causes early abortions, abortions the mother may not even know she's having. You may find this shocking, but the facts are clear after reading Randy Alcorn's book, titled, "Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?" See below.

Facts about the Pill, IUDs, Depo-Provera and Norplant

If you're reading about CHEMICAL ABORTIONS for the first time, this may surprise, or even shock you. Most Americans are not aware that the Pill and other chemical "contraceptives" cause millions of "non-surgical" abortions each year in the early weeks of pregnancy. If you are using the Pill, Depo-Provera or Norplant, you need to know the truth about how these products work.

Most women take these "contraceptives" because they don't want to have a baby. But how many women know they can have BREAKTHROUGH OVULATIONS and become pregnant while using these "contraceptives?" Very few! And how many of these women know that if they become pregnant after a BREAKTHROUGH OVULATION, these "contraceptives" will almost always kill any son or daughter they've conceived?

Most people don't know the real facts about how "contraceptives" work. And because of this lack of knowledge, most women are not aware that they may be having BREAKTHROUGH OVULATIONS, and conceiving children that are killed very early in the pregnancy. Women using these "contraceptives" almost never perceive that they have become pregnant, or that chemicals have killed their tiny baby.

What is Breakthrough Ovulation?

While using the Pill and other chemical "birth control" products, many women's ovaries continue to release eggs. This is called "Breakthrough Ovulation" and it occurs in millions of women each year. Once an egg has been released via ovulation, a woman can become pregnant.

You Can Still Conceive a Child

If you're using "birth control" products and you have a breakthrough ovulation that releases an egg, sperm can then reach and fertilize your egg. At that moment -- you would be pregnant! Fertilization means conception has taken place and you now have a brand new son or daughter who is as complete genetically as he or she will ever be throughout life.

When Does Human Life Begin?

Internationally-known geneticists and biologists have testified that human life begins at conception. In 1981 (April 23-24) a Senate Judiciary Subcommittee held hearings on the question: When does human life begin? The following doctors testified:

Dr. Hymie Gordon, Chairman of the Department of Genetics at the Mayo Clinic, said: "By all the criteria of modern molecular biology, life is present from the moment of conception."

Dr. McCarthy de Mere, a medical doctor and law professor at the University of Tennessee, testified: "The exact moment of the beginning of personhood and of the human body is at the moment of conception."

Dr. Jerome Lejeune, The Father of Modern Genetics, testified that, "Each of us has a very precise starting moment which is the time at which the whole necessary and sufficient genetic information is gathered inside one cell, the fertilized egg, and this is the moment of fertilization. There is not the slightest doubt about that and we know that this information is written on a kind of ribbon we call the DNA." The late Dr. Lejeune of Paris, France, discovered the genetic cause of Down Syndrome. He received the Kennedy Prize for this discovery, as well as the Memorial Allen Award Medal, the world's highest award for work in the field of Genetics.

How does the Pill work?

The Pill has three mechanisms of action which can easily be looked up in the Physician's Desk Reference.

1) Sometimes, the Pill suppresses ovulation. When this happens, an egg is not released and conception cannot occur. (It's important to read on and find out about the high rates of breakthrough ovulation. When ovulation is not suppressed, pregnancy can occur.)

2) The Pill also works to thicken the woman's cervical mucus which can "restrict" sperm from moving up the reproductive tract toward the egg.

3) One way the Pill causes early abortions is that it interferes with the flexing motions and the cilia movement of the fallopian tubes. These changes slow the transportation of a newly conceived child from the fallopian tubes to the womb. Unfortunately, many small babies starve to death in the fallopian tubes because chemicals caused changes that prevented them from reaching the womb in time to be nourished.

4) Another way the Pill causes early abortions: If your tiny baby survives the ride down the fallopian tube to your womb, the Pill will almost always cause the endometrium (the lining of your uterus) to reject your child. Chemical reactions often cause the lining of your womb to become thin, shriveled, and unable to support implantation of your newly conceived child.
This means that in almost every case, your new child will not be able to attach to the wall of your womb where he or she would normally live, grow and receive nourishment for nine months. This means your tiny baby will starve to death and his or her remains will be passed along in your next bleeding cycle. (The "Study of Abortion Deaths Commission" estimates that this happens in women in America who use the Pill approximately 1 to 4 million times each year.)

The chemicals that cause these early abortions are called abortifacients which is the medical term for any chemical agent that causes an abortion.

Depo-Provera, Norplant and IUDs

Depo-Provera and Norplant both use chemicals that work in very similar ways on a woman's body and womb. Depo-Provera and Norplant are also considered chemical abortifacients.
IUDs or Intra-Uterine Devices, are small plastic devices that are inserted into the womb. Some IUDs contain copper or a time released hormone. It is believed that the IUD causes a low grade inflammation in the lining of the womb. As a result, the lining of the womb is imperfect and the fertilized egg will not implant. (Source: This paragraph on IUDs is quoted directly from the Calgary Regional Health Authority's web site.)

Because of the chemical effect an IUD has on a woman's womb, tiny babies are aborted. Therefore, IUDs are also considered abortifacients.

Breakthrough Ovulation Proved Long Ago

Birth control advocates and manufacturers of the Pill have known these facts for years. When chemists devised the Pill that debuted in 1960, they gave it a huge dose of a chemical that caused most women's ovaries to stop secreting eggs (i.e., to stop ovulation). The theory was "no egg, no pregnancy." However, some women continued to release eggs and get pregnant while on the original Pill. (Studies have shown that an even higher percentage of women release eggs while using today's newer, re-formulated Pills. More about today's Pills in a moment.)

In her award winning study of women taking the earlier high dose Pills, Dutch gynecologist Dr. Nine Van der Vange showed "proof of ovulation based on ultrasound exams and hormonal indicators occurred in about 4.7% of the cycles studied." (Source: Sterns, Dr. David, "How the Pill and the IUD Work: Gambling with Life," American Life League, PO Box 1350, Stafford, VA 22555).

And the "Textbook of Contraceptive Practice" states that, "Among women who have been followed over a considerable number of cycles, breakthrough ovulations occur in 2 to 10 percent of cycles." (Source: Dr. J. Peel & Dr. Malcolm Potts, Textbook of Contraceptive Practice, 1969, Cambridge, Cambridge University Press).

Please note that these references are to the lower breakthrough ovulation rates of the Pills of the 1960's. The new Pills of the 1990's work differently and have much higher breakthrough ovulation rates. This will be explained as you read on.

Why the Big Secret?

Why aren't most women aware that the Pill causes early abortions? Let's look at the large pharmaceutical companies who advertise, market, and sell the Pill. They make huge profits from the Pill -- and they'll continue to make mega-profits -- if women are convinced they're not getting pregnant and they keep buying and taking the Pill every day. But are they being honest with you? Have they clearly explained that their products cause millions of early chemical abortions each year?

The New Pills: Much Higher Rates of Breakthrough Ovulation

The original Pill of the 1960's had to be modified due to harmful side effects that women were experiencing because of the powerful chemicals. All versions of today's "Combination Pill" have a reduced hormonal content. When compared to the Pills of the 1960's and 1970's, this reduces the chance of harmful side effects for women, but it also increases their chances of ovulating and conceiving a son or daughter.

Dr. Ronald Chez, a scientist at the National Institutes of Health (NIH), publicly stated that the new Pills of today, with their lower estrogen dose, allow ovulation up to 50% of the time! (Source: Sterns, David, M.D., Sterns, Gina, R.N., B.S.N., Yaksich, Pamela, "Gambling with Life, How the I.U.D. and 'The Pill' Work" (www.top.net/vitalsigns).

With these newer Pills, simply missing one tablet, or failing to take the Pill at the same time each day increases the chances of breakthrough ovulation. Reactions with other drugs increases the chances of breakthrough ovulation, especially with caffeine and nicotine, or some prescription medicine (Source: "Abortifacient Contraception: The Pharmaceutical Holocaust" by Dr. Rudolf Ehmann, Human Life Intl., 1993, p.15).

Makers of the new "mini-pill" claim it does not have the side effects of the combination pill. However, they don't tell you that scientific research shows the mini-pill does not stop ovulation at all in 67-81% of the women who use it, so the probability of conception is much higher. (Source: Tonti-Fillippini, Nicholas, Linacre Quarterly, 1995)

Breakthrough Ovulation Estimates for Other "Birth Control" Methods:

1) Norplant has breakthrough ovulation 50-65% of the time.
2) Depo-Provera has breakthrough ovulation 40-60% of the time.
3) The IUD has breakthrough ovulation 100% of the time.
4) With over 17 million American women using the Pill and other chemical abortifacients, it is estimated that breakthrough ovulation and pregnancy occurs so that between 7 to 12 million newly conceived children are killed by chemical abortions in the womb each year. And most of these women never even knew they were pregnant.

(Sources for the four points listed under Breakthrough Ovulation Estimates above are as follows: 1) Hilgers, Dr. Thomas, "Norplant" Linacre Quarterly, 1993, p.64-69. 2) "Infant Homicides Through Contraceptives," 1994 by the Study of Abortion Deaths Ad Hoc Commission - Bardstown, KY. Ph: 502-348-3963. 3) ibid. 4) ibid.)

Betrayed!

If you are taking these products to avoid pregnancy (and abortion), now you know that the makers and promoters of "birth control" products have betrayed you and your children. It has been proven many times that these products do not completely stop ovulation and conception. In fact, depending upon the product you're using, you could be at risk of ending the life of a newly conceived son or daughter every month by birth control's chemical abortions.

More Proof

The Food and Drug Administration stated in 1978 that: "Combination oral contraceptives . . . [make] alterations in the genital tract including changes in the . . . endometrium (which reduce the likelihood of implantation) . . . but progestogen only contraceptives [re: mini-pills] are known to alter the cervical mucus, exert a progestational effect on the endometrium, interfering with implantation."

Medical Publications Confirm the Facts

"The Physicians' Desk Reference" quoted a Searle brochure (Searle is a major pharmaceutical manufacturer of the Pill) which states that the mini-pill: makes the womb (uterus) less receptive to any fertilized egg that reaches it.

"Nursing '85 Drug Handbook" states: Progestogen...also caused endometrial changes that prevent implantation of the fertilized ovum.

"The Pill - How Does It Work?" By Albert D. Lorincz, M.D.: Cites a study of 1,200 women given a daily amount of progestogen equivalent to many birth control pills. 60% of them ovulated.

"Birth Control: Why Are They Lying to Women?" By J.C. Espinoza, M.D. (page 27) cites research which showed a 30% ovulation rate in women taking a combined Pill preparation.

From Birth Control Advocates

Lawyers from organizations that promote abortion have admitted in print and in legal briefs that these products cause abortions. A Tulane Law School Professor wrote: "Nearly all birth control devices, except the diaphragm and the condom, operate between the time of conception and implantation."

Attorney Frank Sussman argued in the U.S. Supreme Court: "...IUDs [and] low dose birth control pills...act as abortifacients."

The Big Lie

Propaganda from many pharmaceutical companies promotes a new definition of CONCEPTION. Their new definition is absolutely untruthful and totally unscientific. They created this new definition of when a child is conceived to help them sell their products with the label "contraceptives." Their new definition says that conception occurs only when your baby successfully attaches to the lining of your uterus. THAT'S JUST NOT TRUE!

The real Medical Truth

It's very important to understand that when a sperm penetrates one of your eggs, you have conceived a child. Again, this is called fertilization or conception and from that point on, you have a brand new, genetically complete son or daughter.

Every conception is a very unique moment. For example, at your own conception, 46 chromosomes with 30,000 genes combined to determine all your physical characteristics; sex, facial features, body type, color of hair, eyes and skin. Even more amazing, intelligence and personality and the way you think and feel, were already in place within your genetic code. At the moment of conception, you were essentially and uniquely "you." This is the same for every human being at the moment of conception.

Remember, the pharmaceutical industry has a multi-billion dollar business selling these abortifacients. Unfortunately, many of the people who prescribe these products are not aware of their homicidal properties. They may have a sincere desire to help women, but their lack of knowledge makes them uninformed accomplices to these early abortions.
As recent as 25 years ago, most doctors took the Hippocratic Oath. They pledged never to perform an abortion. Tragically, many working in the medical profession today betray your trust by renouncing this ethic. Many know the truth but do not inform you that "birth control" devices are abortifacients which cause abortions.

Did you know abortion was defined in a Public Health Service document published by the U.S. Department of Health, Education and Welfare as follows: "All the measures which impair the viability of the zygote anytime between the instant of fertilization and the completion of labor constitute, in the strict sense, procedures for inducing abortion" (source: Public Health Service Leaflet no. 1066, US Dept of Health, Education, and Welfare, 1963, 27). This includes chemical abortions like those caused by the Pill, Depo-Provera, and Norplant.

Now That You Know the Truth

If you have used these products, this is very sobering news. Pharmaceutical companies and medical providers have made many parents unwitting accomplices to their own children's death by birth control abortion.

The Pill and its "cousins" kill children earlier in their life than surgical abortion. In America, chemical abortions are estimated to kill more than 7 million babies each year--while surgical abortions kill about 1.5 million babies each year.

What Will You Do?

Scientists agree that a new human life begins at the moment of conception. If you believe this, then you know that abortion is wrong no matter how early in the pregnancy. Now that you know the facts, statistics show that if you continue using abortifacient products, you will be aborting (killing) your own children each year. Do more research if you need to, but please stop using abortifacient chemicals immediately. (If you want to investigate further, another web site that contains more research and much greater detail is listed at the end of this article. It is highly recommended that you go to that web site today or sometime soon.)

Healing and Forgiveness

If you have used these products, there is a very real possibility that you unknowingly aborted one or more of your tiny sons or daughters. Please do not despair! Know that you may receive comfort in your sorrow. If you did not know these "birth control" products cause early abortions, then you are not "culpable." This means you're not morally responsible in God's eyes. And because you did not know the true consequences of chemical "birth control" products, you will not be held morally responsible for any harm they may have caused.
Remember, for anyone to commit a sinful act, all three of the following circumstances must be present:

1) The act must break one of God's Laws,
2) The person must know they are breaking God's Law, and
3) The person must freely choose to break God's Law with their own free will.

Again, if you've used "birth control" pills and you were unaware of the consequences, God will not hold you morally accountable. Our God is a merciful, loving Father. He will only judge us based on our knowledge of right and wrong. And when we do wrong, He's always ready to forgive us -- no matter how serious the sin.

At the same time, He has given us guidelines to protect us and to help us be happy. And now that you know the truth about "birth control" pills--if you're using them--isn't it time to stop?
God calls on each of us to avoid and eliminate all sin from our lives. Please think about the day in the future when you will meet your Maker face to face. On that day, if you continue using chemical abortifacients after you read this information, He will ask you, "Why?"

Stop today. Purify your soul by receiving God's healing Grace? God will forgive us for our past sins, no matter how serious they are, but only if we sincerely ask for His forgiveness with a humble, repentant heart, while also being firmly resolved not to commit the sin again.
Our God is merciful, forgiving, and gracious to all who repent. No problem is so great that the God who created us cannot solve it.

Saint Paul wrote about God's great mercy for sinners in a letter to Timothy. He said, "Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners -- of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display His unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on Him and receive eternal life" (1Timothy, 1:15-16).

Final Notes

It is important that you seek spiritual direction from your priest or pastor regarding decisions about your family and the dreadful effects of artificial contraception. Please feel free to print a copy of this article to bring with you when you go to meet with your pastor. Ask him if he understands the destructive and sinful nature of the Pill and other forms of artificial contraception.

FREE Audio Tape

If you're interested in a great audio tape, Dr. Janet Smith (Professor at the University of Dallas) has an excellent presentation called, "CONTRACEPTION: WHY NOT?" Pro-Life America will send you a FREE copy of this tape. All we ask is that you send Pro-Life America a suggested donation of $2.00 to help cover the shipping and handling costs of sending you the 1-hour audio tape. You'll want to listen to this tape over and over again and share it with your friends, your family -- and maybe even your pastor. Please mail your request for the FREE audio, along with $2.00 for shipping and handling to:

Pro-Life America
Dr. Janet Smith Audio Dept.
1840 South Elena Avenue, Suite 103

If you would like more medical research documenting the fact that the PILL and other chemical contraceptives cause abortions, please read another article written by William F. Colliton, Jr., M.D., FACOG, and signed by 26 other physicians. Dr. Colliton is Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology at George Washington University Medical Center. You can read his article here.

Information for this article was also taken from Randy Alcorn's book, "Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions?" Here's what 11 physicians and medical professionals are saying about the book Randy Alcorn published in 1998:

1. "From medical textbooks and pharmacy references, to statements from the Pill-manufacturers themselves, this book proves, beyond any doubt, the abortion-causing action of birth control pills. This book should be read by everyone interested in knowing the truth."
~ Paul L. Hayes, M.D., Board Certified Fellow of the American College of Obstetricians/Gynecologists

2. "Does the birth control pill cause abortions? Using research results from medical literature, Randy Alcorn has convincingly shown that the answer is 'yes.' He has, with care and compassion, given us the truth. The question for us as Christians is how we will respond now that we know." ~ Linda Martin, M.D., Pediatrician

3. "By carefully detailing the available medical information concerning the abortifacient effects of oral contraceptives, Randy Alcorn has developed a logical and thoughtful challenge to every prolife person. The conclusions of this study are scientifically accurate. Birth control pills usually prevent pregnancy, but sometimes they cause an abortion. Questions? Objections? Randy has addressed them in a gentle but firm way. This is the manner in which the often fiery debate over prolife subjects should be carried out- unemotionally, intelligently and quietly. The evidence is before us . . . 'How should we then live?'" ~ Patrick D. Walker, M.D., Professor of Pathology, University of Arkansas for Medical Sciences

4. "In this challenging book Randy Alcorn has the honesty to face a tough and uncomfortable question. This compelling evidence will make you rethink the question of birth control pills."
~ John Brose, M.D., Surgeon

5. "In this impeccably researched book, Randy Alcorn takes an unblinking look at what medical experts know about how birth control pills work. I painfully agree that birth control pills do in fact cause abortions. Our individual and collective Christian response to this heretofore varnished-over information will have profound consequences for time and eternity. This is a disturbing must-read for all who profess to be prolife." ~ Beverly A. McMillan, M.D., Ob/Gyn.

6. "Randy Alcorn has done exceptional work. The facts in this book parallel much of my own research. I am delighted he would undertake such a work when others seek to avoid the subject. This book is a must for Christians, particularly those in medicine and Christian ministries." ~ Karen D. Garnett, R.N.

7. "No prolife physician can rightly prescribe BCPs [birth control pills] after reviewing this data. I have started circulating this information." ~ Randall Martin, M.D., Chairman, Department of Anesthesiology, Columbia Willamette Valley Medical Center

8. "Scientific papers suggest that escape ovulation occurs 4-15% of all cycles in patients taking birth control pills. Thus, as this booklet points out, early chemical abortions are a real and significant concern." ~ Paddy Jim Baggot, M.D., Ob/Gyn., Fellow of the American College of Medical Genetics

9. "Randy Alcorn has thoroughly studied and written on an area where little published scientific information exists. His responses to this issue, and his outstanding appendices, are must reading." ~ William M. Petty, M.D., Surgeon, Gynecologic Oncology

10. "Randy Alcorn has once again demonstrated his tenacity and integrity in pursuing the truth. He has exposed the abortifacient properties of so-called birth control agents. This booklet should be required reading for all discerning Christians who wish to fully live out their faith."
~ William L. Toffler, M.D., Professor of Family Medicine, Oregon Health Sciences University

11. "I endorse Randy Alcorn's book with gusto. He has answered the title question with the care and compassion of a pastor, having searched out the facts with the diligence of an experienced researcher. He has provided all women in their reproductive years with an invaluable resource which will allow them to be fully informed about the birth control pill." ~ William F. Colliton, Jr., M.D., Clinical Professor of Obstetrics and Gynecology, George Washington University Medical Center

You may go to Randy Alcorn's web site and read a summary of this 88-page book or you may also order the inexpensive book from the Above Rubies Bookstore

Portions of this article were adapted from brochures by: The Couple to Couple League.

1) The Couple to Couple League's 1993 brochure is entitled, "The Pill: How does it Work? Is it Safe?" and it includes 64 footnotes.
2) The Protestants Against Birth Control 1996 brochure is entitled, "Birth Control: Homicidal Deception" and it includes 20 footnotes.

HAUNTED FOR DECADES
My Abortion Story

As I share my story, I'd like to remind you that I am someone's daughter, a mother, a wife, a sister, a friend, or perhaps the lady who may share the pew with you. Please embrace me as one of these persons to you.

About 35 years ago, I had just graduated from high school and was looking forward to college and my 18th birthday. It was a summer to remember, or so I thought–one filled with dreams and hope. Little did I know that soon my life would take a dramatic turn for the worse, for it was later that summer I had an abortion. This event devastated me and left me with a bitterness that haunted me for decades to come.

It began on a hot, muggy, June afternoon. As my sister and I walked around our neighborhood, I shared with her my fear that I might be pregnant. How would my mother react if she were to find out? Later that day, my sister drove me to a clinic in a nearby town to have a pregnancy test. That car ride home was the first of two trips I would make from that particular clinic during the hot summer of 1979.

On this particular trip my sister warned me to prepare myself for trouble when I finally told my mom. What followed was not pretty. As my sister foretold, my mother did not receive the news well. She quickly decided on a course of action. She said I would have an abortion and I would go to college, in spite of my pregnancy. She contacted the clinic and scheduled an abortion for the next week. She told me I was not to see my boyfriend until after the procedure was completed and she would drive me to the clinic. After returning home, she would call my boyfriend and tell him to drive to the clinic to bring me home. I was to pay half of the fee and he was to pay the other half. If I did not agree to her demands, she would have him prosecuted for statutory rape.

Over the next few days, my mother spent more time with me than at any other time in my life. Sadly, this was not because she wanted to share my few moments of pregnancy with me. Rather, it stemmed from a fear that if I spent time with my boyfriend, we would find a way to not have the abortion.

No amount of tears changed my mother's mind. She was determined. And that was that! To make matters worse, as we headed for the clinic, I saw the father of my child at the corner of the entrance to the highway. The memory of seeing him like that has burned a scar on my heart that still bleeds tears.

The trip to the clinic was filled with pleading and begging, but no amount of pleading touched my mother's heart. Arriving at the clinic, my mother signed the paperwork handed to her. As we waited for my name to be called, I tried one last time to sway her, pleading, "Please mom! Please don't do this."

The nightmare continued as my name was called and I was led to a small office half way down a long hallway. The lady behind the desk asked me if I had any questions. As the last word left her mouth, I was on my feet. I ran down the hallway and threw open the wide double waiting room doors to again plead and beg for mercy. But, my mother was gone. I fell to my knees sobbing. It was then I felt my arms being pulled upward and dragged to a room where my baby was sucked away.

I awoke in the recovery room, my boyfriend sitting at the side of the bed. He held me in his arms until the nurse told us to leave. He tried to avoid every bump on the rode on the quiet car ride home. When we walked in the front door we could smell the hamburgers my mother was frying. The smell nauseated me as it still does today. She said the subject was closed and not to be mentioned again. The heat and the humidity left little air to breathe as our hearts were broken the day our child died.

I soon realized that having an abortion does not solve problems. It only makes them worse. Soon after my abortion, I left for college. After two semesters, I left. My grades were not good. Instead of focusing on my studies, my mind was consumed with how to correct my wrong, how to make this decision valid, how to block out the memories of the moments at the abortion clinic, and how to live with a gaping hole in my soul.

Several times since that year I have returned to college to work on my degree and upon each return I took with me the memory of what came before college. My mind always wondered about the what-if's. I kept walking away from school, sabotaging my education. I stopped going to church and felt so far away from God.

Not only had the life of my child been destroyed, but now I was destroying my own life. The next few years of my young adult life are a blur of moments of which I am not proud. I wished to block everything and everyone connected with the loss of my child.

Along with the death of my child came the death of my spirit. I involved myself in relationships that were hopeless, abusive, and ungodly. I was afraid to love again. I felt a sense of disconnect and yet all I wanted was to be loved, chosen, and protected.

I eventually married, and out of that marriage came my two beautiful children. I felt unworthy to be their mother as I did not deserve these two precious gifts from God. I felt responsible for all the pain my children have endured.

I continued to live with the consequences of this nightmare for the next 30 years, constantly waking up to the pain, the void, the anger, the depression, the loneliness, and the self-destructive impulses I experienced every day. I was convinced that everything that ever went wrong in my life was a punishment for having aborted my baby.

I spent a lot of years in and out of therapy and never once did they discuss that my cry to be whole was the grieving over the child I had aborted. I was filled with such a sense of shame and guilt that even after I confessed my sin, I could not believe that God could forgive me.
But, God never ceased loving me.

Fortunately, God heard my cries and held me close, wrapping me in His embracing arms. One day, I shared with my pastor the pain that I walked in daily from the wounds of my abortions. He told me about a supportive, confidential, and non-condemning ministry called Rachel's Vineyard. He told me that it was a weekend retreat ministry for both men and women, and all the "other victims" of abortion. It was not only for the woman and the father of the child, but the parent who had forced their daughter to abort, a spouse, or the potential grandparents, brothers, and sisters--all who were denied the child. He explained it was a safe place to renew, rebuild, and redeem hearts that were broken by abortion.

At Rachel's Vineyard retreat, through the Living Scripture exercises and communal sharing, for the first time in over 30 years, I was able to share my grief, guilt, and anger. I was able to recognize how the shame and regret had brought grief in my life and those close to me.
The mental health counselors and clergy who served on the Rachel's Vineyard team helped me to set in motion an end to my isolation. They aided in dismantling the toxic secrets and gave me tremendous support in breaking my struggle with shame. My preconceived fears of condemnation were transformed into blessings. My memories of abandonment, pain, and confusion were replaced with peace and reconciliation.

Despite my wrongs, I was able to recognize that God's mercy is so much greater than my sins. I found God's love, compassion, and forgiveness, not only towards myself, but for those who were a part of my experience.

I was now able to mourn my baby. I found peace as I honored the life that was once in my womb. I have the hope of one day seeing my child in heaven. I now think of my child with love and tenderness instead of pain and shame and I know she rests securely in the arms of Jesus.

My healing journey began that weekend, a journey I continue to make even now as I lay my nightmare at the foot of the cross each and every day, trusting in God's mercy and the sure knowledge that I am forgiven. I live in the certainty that Christ bore my sins upon the cross and died for me so I could know His peace and love.

While my baby was only with me for only a moment, she has forever remained in my heart.

KELLY LANG
Nashville, Tennessee, USA

Check out: www.rachelsvineyard.org