PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 255: Mothers are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 7
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 255: Mothers are the Transmitters of God’s Truth to the Next Generation, Part 7
What is modesty? Far more than clothing! Check it out. What should we wear to church? When should men take off their hats?
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies, and gentlemen! I was talking recently with one of the husbands of our listeners. He said to me he felt rather rejected, because every time I open the podcast, I say, “Hello, ladies!” But he said he is listening. I think there may be some other men listening too. So, welcome, also, to this podcast.
Since doing the last podcast, we have enjoyed our wonderful, glorious, annual Above Rubies Family Retreat down in Laguna Beach in Florida. It was such a wonderful time, a little taste of heaven, actually. In fact, I think each retreat we have goes up a few notches. It’s always better than the last one.
We had just on one thousand campers at this retreat. All the wonderful parents and loads of such amazing young people. Of course, all the children. It was a real family retreat. Everyone was so blessed. I think they’re all booking to come back next year. In fact, lovely ladies, if you haven’t been to one yet, do try and get to a Family Camp. They are so special.
At Laguna Beach, we have another one coming up in August. This is called The Reunion. We don’t do so much speaking at this retreat. It’s more just hanging out for fellowship. The families get together and fellowship.
But then, for next year, we have two full-fledged retreats. They’re pretty power packed. There’s one at the beginning of January, and then again, the April one. You can get on the webpage and check out what to do. Get booking even now, because they’re all starting to fill up even now. You’ve got to get in if you want to be in!
While I was down there, I was actually diagnosed with pneumonia, but the Lord enabled me to keep going. In fact, the last two podcasts I did with you, I actually got out of bed, coughing and with a fever. The Lord helped me to do them. But I am feeling a little better today, although I don’t think my voice is back to normal yet. But I trust that you’ll bear with me.
So great to be with you again today. We are continuing to talk about etiquette in the home, and when we go to someone else’s home. As I ended last session, we were talking about appropriate clothing. I want to talk a little bit more about that today.
But before I do, I’ve love to read this Scripture. It’s Isaiah 9:6-7, a Scripture we all know so well. “For unto us a Child is given. Unto us a Son is given. The government shall be upon His shoulder. His Name shall be called Wonderful, Counselor, the Mighty God, the Everlasting Father, the Prince of Peace.”
This is the Scripture that I just noticed again. “Of the increase of his government and peace there shall be no end, and upon the throne of David, and upon his kingdom, to order it, and to establish it with judgment and with justice from henceforth even forever. The zeal of the LORD of hosts will perform this.”
I noticed in this Scripture how God governs His kingdom with order. He orders it with justice and judgment. Really, that is all about etiquette. If we’re going to order our homes and order our lives, we do have to understand etiquette because it helps to bring order. Etiquette is forgetting about yourself and it’s thinking about others.
Let’s go back to where we left off. We were talking about wearing appropriate clothing. When you go to someone’s home, you’re invited to their place for a meal, you wear something appropriate. You don’t wear these shorts. OK, you would if it was going to be a picnic, or maybe a barbeque, but not if you’re going to sit around their table. You always think of what is appropriate.
In that Scripture in 1 Timothy 2:9, it talks about women wearing modest clothing. Many more translations use different words. Here are some of the other words they use. “Decent, appropriate, proper, sensible, respectable, discreet, and suitable clothing.” In other words, you wear what is proper or appropriate, for the right occasion. I think that’s something we have to learn.
OK, that brings us to the subject of what we should wear to church. I believe that when we come to church, when we come to worship the Lord, we’re coming into the Presence of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, that we should dress appropriately.
It’s amazing. I notice some young people come to church today—their hearts are so beautiful, but they haven’t been taught. I don’t know what their mothers are doing. I’ve seen them come to church in shorts! Help! That’s what you wear to the beach! You don’t wear that to church. They come in jeans. That’s casual clothing.
No, when we come to church, we’re going to wear appropriate clothing. As I’ve been thinking about this, I’ve been thinking more about what modesty means. That’s the word the King James version uses. All the words that I gave you from those other translations are good words, too. But modesty is far more than even all those words. It’s far more than clothing.
The actual word there means “everything in your life.” It encompasses far more than clothing. It embraces our conversation; knowing what to say and what not to say. Our deportment, and our whole manner of life. It’s not thinking higher of ourselves than we ought to think.
If we are modest with our words, we will not be exposing other people’s privacy, or publishing to the world things that would violate other people’s privacy, or even our own privacy. A modest person would even be watching their words.
I’m always challenged by that Scripture in Proverbs 10:19: “In the multitude of words, there wanteth not sins. But he that refraineth his lips is wise.”
I like the New Living Translation which says: “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible, and keep your mouth shut.” Wow! I get convicted about that Scripture. I think we all do, don’t we?
Modesty is a picture of Philippians 2:3-5 “Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus.”
MODESTY PRESEVERES PRIVACY
You see, modesty is not thinking of yourself. Etiquette is not thinking of yourself. It's thinking of the other person. Modesty is also, and perhaps ultimately, the preserving and protecting of privacy. Did you get that? It is the preserving of privacy. Every person has the right to privacy. It is concealing from the gaze of others what is deeply personal and intimate. Modesty is the preserving of intimacy.
In the exclusivity of marriage, I am a great believer in the exclusivity of marriage. I believe marriage is exclusive. It’s only in marriage, where privacy can belong to another. It’s where privacy belongs to each other, the husband and the wife. They become one flesh in glory and in ecstasy in privacy. This is the exclusivity of marriage.
Modesty is that which preserves that. We don’t expose our privacy or even our private parts to the world. That is for the exclusiveness of marriage. Yes. A virgin daughter, a virgin man, are both to come to marriage, having kept their private parts private! That’s what it’s all about. It’s really, ultimately, for marriage.
It’s so sad, I think, even today, with weddings. Most wedding dresses today are strapless wedding dresses, even low-cut wedding dresses. Even our Christian young people wear these dresses because they go to the wedding shops and that’s about all there is. Unless they really look online, or get some special deal, that’s what there is, hanging out there.
In fact, they are getting more low-cut, and less and less, and skimpier and skimpier today. It is so sad that a virgin is coming to her wedding exposing herself. Many times, I go to a wedding, and I hardly know where to look! Because everything’s hanging out of the bride. Then usually, all the bridesmaids have got their strapless dresses on too. Help! This is a wedding!
What is the minister saying? “Into this holy estate, these two now come.” Are they really coming into a “holy estate” when they’re already exposing themselves to everyone in the congregation? The bride is to be covered! Covered throughout her courtship, covered on her wedding day, until she is with her husband. He is the one who uncovers her. She doesn’t come uncovered herself to the whole world before her wedding. Sadly, this is in the Christian church.
Rarely do we see brides wearing a veil today. We don’t see that very often. I think a veil is a very beautiful thing. A veil, especially the blusher veil that covers the face until the end of the ceremony. After they have given their vows, and the minister or the pastor says, “Now, you can lift the veil and kiss your bride!” What a beautiful and glorious moment! But so many come uncovered.
Well, I know that some people say you can look on the internet, and they say, “Oh, yes, that custom goes back to the Roman times when they were really trying to ward off evil spirits.” But no, it goes back to the Bible! Yes, back to Genesis, back to Genesis 24:65. And that was when Abraham’s servant was bringing Rebecca back. He’d found the bride for Isaac.
They were getting near, and Rebecca looked up, and she said, “What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a veil, and covered herself.” That was what they did. The bride covered herself. It means “to cover, conceal, to hide, to keep secret, to wrap oneself.” She covered herself as she came to him. But then, he would be the one to uncover her. It is a very beautiful thing.
I love to see the bride in a veil, and also a train. A train. Not many have trains today either. A train is the glory of the bride. It always speaks of glory. Even when it speaks of God, “And His train filled the temple” it was speaking of His glory filling the temple. I believe the train is the glory of the bride as she comes to her husband.
MODESTY IS WALKING IN DIGNITY
So, dear ladies, this modesty is not so much as people think of it, “Oh, thou shalt not do this, and thou shalt not do that!” No, it’s the opposite of that. It is a glorious and positive thing. When a young virgin will say, “I am keeping my dignity. I am keeping everything that is private to me. I am keeping it for my husband. I am not exposing my private parts to the world.”
And for married women; oh, yes, there are so many married women who are exposing themselves. We also, as married women, must take that positivity and say, “I am walking in dignity as a woman. I’m keeping that which is private utterly for my husband.”
In fact, I am amazed at how some wives, who can go out and flaunt themselves and show off much of their breasts to everyone. I wonder what value, what value do they place on marriage? Do they understand anything of the exclusivity of marriage? I can’t understand husbands that can allow their wives to go out. Don’t they want to keep their wives to themselves? For the glorious intimacy of marriage? Which is so beyond glory. It’s not something to be exposed to the world. Yes.
IT IS THE GLORIOUS THINGS THAT ARE HIDDEN
So, let’s begin to understand the glory of modesty. Even God Himself does not expose Himself to the world. Even in the tabernacle, and later the temple, where was God? He was not out there in the outer court where they did the sacrifices. No, God was not there. He was not even in the Holy Place where the priests were there with the altar of incense, and the table of showbread, and beautiful golden candlestick. No, God wasn’t there.
God was in the recesses, in the very hidden part, at the very end, in the HOLY OF HOLIES, contained in thick clouds behind curtains. They say that in the temple there were two curtains that separated even the Holy Place from the Holy of Holies. Some of the rabbis say that those curtains were a hand’s-breadth in width. Well, I don’t know whether that is totally correct because we don’t read that in the Word, but He was separated and hidden, because God is so glorious. He doesn’t just put Himself out on display.
And then, of course, when Jesus died, and that veil, those curtains, were torn apart, then there was access into the Holy of Holies. But even so, even now, when God is so close. He’s veiled in such dazzling light that no man could ever look upon Him. We see it’s often the glorious things, the most beautiful, holy, glorious things (even the shekinah glory of God) that is hidden, not exposed for everyone. Let’s live in this. Amen?
Talking about this then, I didn’t get last time to say, “What really should we wear to church?” Well, there was a time. I heard this minister say many, many years ago, he said these words: “Love God and do what you like.” I don’t know. Maybe there was a time when you could say that. “Love God and do what you like.” Because if you love God with all your heart, you only want to please Him, who is a Holy God.
But I don’t know whether we can even use that statement today, because the standard, even in the Christian church, has become so low that most people don’t even know what a biblical or godly standard is. The Bible does have guidelines.
Nor do we want to be those who say, “Oh, you must do this, or you must do that,” or live by legality. If only we could say “Love God and do what you like.” But I do believe we need to understand also godly standards.
In fact, every day, when I’m reading the Word in my personal devotions, when we’re having our family devotions, and my husband is reading the Word, I’m always so glad to hear it again! It keeps us in line. We’re reminded of the godly standards, the biblical standards. If we don’t read the Word, we don’t have them. We don’t even know. We’ve become totally and absolutely ignorant! And we just do what we think! That’s usually the wrong thing.
ALWAYS WEAR WHAT IS APPROPRIATE
Let me give you a few guidelines here, can I? Because I believe it’s time for us to wear what is appropriate. Yes, appropriate. What were some of those words again? King James says that women will clothe themselves modestly, but other translations say “decently, appropriately, properly, sensibly, respectably, discretely, and suitably.”
I think, you know, it is lovely for women to wear a dress to church. Many just wear pants.
When I read Deuteronomy 22:5, I myself could not wear pants to church. Now, I know that there are many who don’t tremble at the Word of God. I do. When I read the Word of God, I tremble. I don’t want to gloss it over. I want to receive it. I want to obey it. For me, I can’t do that. Maybe you can. Maybe you haven’t even read that Scripture. But whatever, do be as feminine as possible.
I do believe in this day of transgender that we must EXCESSIVELY reveal the feminine. God has created male and female. I believe we must reveal who we are in this world. I do believe that in these so many decades now, that pants are the normal uniform of every woman today, even coming to church. We have, in quite a big way, paved the way for a transgender society. There’s been no difference in our clothing.
Why not then just become the other sex? We’ve made it pretty easy. I think it’s time that the world began to see with their eyes male and female. My, especially when we come into the house of God. When we wear a dress, what should that dress be like? Of course, we’re going to wear something that’s appropriate.
We’re not going to expose any private parts at all, not even the tiniest little bit of cleavage. My, today, even as women come to church, with big cleavage, and tiny cleavage. Both are just as bad as the other. Make sure there is none. Check yourself in the mirror, OK? Maybe you’ve got clothes that show that little bit. Well, buy one of those little lacy things you can put in. That can look very lovely. But cover yourself.
We’re going to the house of God. We’re going to worship a holy God. We’re going to protect and preserve our privacy. Please, I’m not talking to the secular world. I’m talking to God’s people.
Also, wow! I don’t believe we should come to church with shoulders showing. Why do I say that? For some legalistic reason? No, no. Because of God’s Word. In fact, I could challenge you to do a study. Go into the Word of God and begin to look up every word about clothing. Look up the Hebrew word, and what every word means in the Hebrew. You will be astounded at what God says about clothing in His Word, in the Old, and in the New.
When He talks about clothing, it means clothing. It means totally clothed and covered. This word here that I’m going to take you to is the first word that God uses when He clothed mankind, when He clothed Adam and Even after they had sinned. We know that when they sinned, Adam and Eve realized they were naked. They hadn’t realized that before. They were totally unashamed. But now that sin had come in, they suddenly felt shame. They made loincloths to cover their loins.
But that wasn’t enough. No. that wasn’t a full covering. God had to clothe them. Genesis 3:21: “God made coats of skins and clothed them.” God was the first dress designer. He was the first clothing manufacturer. Of course, the blood of the animal had to be shed. Yes, blood had to be shed to cover their sins.
Then, from the skins of the animals, God made their clothing. I have seen pictures of Adam and Eve being ushered out of the garden. They had these animal skins around them. I don’t believe that at all. When God does something, He does it wondrously.
We go over to Exodus, and we read about God clothing the priests, and how He made their clothes “for glory and for beauty” (Exodus 28:2). God loves beauty. When we’re talking about clothing ourselves modestly, we’re not talking about clothing ourselves drably. No, God adores beauty. He wants us to clothe ourselves for glory, for beauty. That was what He did for the priests. We are now kings and priests unto God (Revelation 1:6; 5:10; 20:6; and 1 Peter 2:5, 9).
I’m sure He made glorious, beautiful clothes out of those skins. But they did cover them. The word “coat” is the Hebrew word kethoneth. It means, “to clothe, to cover, a robe.” It comes from the root word katheph, meaning “to clothe from the shoulder down; the upper end of the arm; the place from where the garments hang.” In other words, this robe came from the shoulder. It covered the shoulder.
That is the first mention of clothing. Then we read so many different Hebrew words. I’ve done this study myself. It was just so enlightening. But this is the first mention. The law of the first mention is very important in Scripture. God never deviates from the first mention. He will move on to add more, but this is important. So, that’s another little thing we must remember. OK, make sure our shoulders are covered.
Also, I think, as I said, it’s nice to wear a dress. Jeans are more casual, especially those tight pants that so many are wearing today, even wearing to church, where you can see every ripple of the woman’s body, or that young girl’s body. Every single crease!
They are the biggest temptation to men. You may as well go to church naked, because you are clothed, but still naked. Every little line and crease and wobble can be seen! Please. Where are we at? Let’s remember. Let’s honor God as we go into His house. Let’s honor people when we go into their houses. Amen?
That’s just a little bit about what I think is appropriate to wear when we go to someone’s home and when we go into the house of God.
CAP AND HAT WEARING ETIQUETTE
Back to a few other things of etiquette in the home, when we come into a home. Let’s see if I can get this bit tucked in before we end, ladies and gentlemen, because I am now going to speak to the guys. Well, I’m really going to speak to mothers too. Because, dear mothers, we are the ones who are the transmitters of these very important traditions to the next generation.
Here is something that seems to be lost in our society today. That is, what do guys do when they’re wearing caps? It seems that every guy likes to wear a cap today. It’s a cool thing; it’s the in thing. Nothing wrong with that. But there are times when we do not wear caps.
Actually, these etiquette rules, which you can find anywhere, I’m not making them up! These are the rules of etiquette regarding hats or caps. Even for girls, who like to be cool and wear caps, these guidelines actually apply to you if you are wearing a cap also. But to men, it applies if they’re wearing a hat or a cap.
You can wear them, guys. But when do you take them off? These are the times when you must take off your cap.
No. 1. When you come into a private home. We are on the subject of what do you do when you go to someone else’s home, and you’re invited?
I have been amazed many times, I will invite a family to our home, and in they come. Young teenagers are wearing their caps. Sometimes even the father is. They don’t even take them off when they come into my home! And they don’t even take them off when they sit at my table. That is the first rule of etiquette for a man who is wearing a hat.
No. 2. You take off your hat when you come into a private home and sit at the table. You may wear it in a public place, but not in a private home. You take off your cap, especially when you sit at the meal table. In your home first. That should be practiced in our own homes first.
Dear precious mothers, your teens are doing this. You’re going to have to begin to show them what etiquette is and get them to stop this habit. Because it is wrong. Now, I know it's the norm in our society because everybody’s doing it! Why? Because mothers have forgotten to pass on this rule of etiquette.
No. 3. A man should take off his cap or his hat when he is being introduced, especially to a lady. Oh, my! Every young man must know that.
No. 4. He must take off his cap if he walks into church. It is the house of God. And yet, I see young men, even older men, sitting with their caps on! And I’ve even seen preachers preaching with their caps on! We’ve got so far away from basic etiquette! I can’t even believe it.
No. 5. A man is to take off his hat indoors, at work, in an office.
No. 6. During the singing of the national anthem.
No. 7. During the reciting of the Pledge of Allegiance.
No. 8. When the U.S. flag passes by in a parade.
No. 9. In public buildings such as a school, library, courthouse, or town hall.
No. 10. In restaurants and coffee shops
No. 11. And also at a movie or any indoor performance.
So, dear ladies and gentlemen, there are eleven times when etiquette says you must take off your hat or your cap. If girls happen to be wearing caps, they must also do that, too.
I think the time is up for this podcast. I hope you have been blessed as we talk about a few things that really, precious mothers, we’ve got to begin to make these happen in our own homes so that when we go to other homes, our children are invited to other homes, they know what is etiquette and what is right to do.
“Dear Father, we do thank You so much for Your ways. Lord, You want to order your kingdom in justice and righteousness. Lord, we need to learn to order our homes, and order our lives in that which is right and proper, and which is a blessing to others. Help us to do this. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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FLORIDA RETREAT INFORMATION:
THE REUNION: August 9th-16th at Laguna Beach Christian Retreat
Have you attended one of our family retreats before? If so, we’d like to invite you to a reunion on the beach! Join your favorite families for a week of fun and fellowship! Nancy and Colin will join us for a few sessions, and we will host a handful of family activities, but this week is much more laid back than the typical retreats.
Registration is $100 per family or $25 per single.
No group meals are provided at the reunion, but potlucks tend to happen a few times! Housing is assigned through Above Rubies, but payment will go directly to Laguna when you arrive that week.
If you have attended at least one retreat in the past, and are interested in attending this reunion, your next step would be to fill out the registration form! Once we receive your registration payment and form, we will reach out with your housing options.
https://aboverubiesgulfcoast.com/
2024 RETREATS
January 3rd-10th 2024 at Laguna Beach Christian Retreat
This is our newest retreat that offers a week of fellowship, sessions with Nancy and Colin Campbell, breakout sessions with gifted speakers and teachers, family activities, and incredible worship! Come as a friend but leave as family!
General registration open to the public-
May 1st through October 31st, 2023
$200 per family or $50 per single.
Late registration-
November 1st, 2023, through January 3rd, 2024
$250 per family or $60 per single.
Housing is assigned through Above Rubies, but payment for your housing will go directly to Laguna when you arrive that week.
https://aboverubiesgulfcoast.com/
April 17th-24th 2024 at Laguna Beach Christian Retreat
This is our biggest retreat serving over 100 families during our week of fellowship, sessions with Nancy and Colin Campbell, breakout sessions with gifted speakers and teachers, family activities, and incredible worship! Come as a friend but leave as family!
Pre-registration for April 2023 attendees only-
April 27th, 2023, through May 16th, 2023
$200 per family or $50 per single.
General registration open to the public-
May 17th, 2023-February 1st, 2024
$200 per family or $50 per single.
Late registration-
February 1st, 2024-April 17th, 2024
$250 per family or $60 per single.
Housing is assigned through Above Rubies, but payment for your housing will go directly to Laguna when you arrive that week.
https://aboverubiesgulfcoast.com/