FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 86 - EVEN SO, COME, LORD JESUS (PART 1)

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello ladies. Today I’m going to start at the end. I love to go to the beginning of the Bible because the beginning lays the foundation for all the truths that God wants us to know about. But today I’m going to the very last chapter of the Bible, Revelation chapter 22.

Jesus says in verses 12, 13: ”And, behold, I come quickly; and my reward is with me, to give every man according as his work shall be. I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.”

We go over to verse 20: “He which testifieth these things saith, Surely I come quickly. Amen. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

Actually, I want to also give you verse 17: “ And the Spirit and the bride say, COME. And let him that heareth say, COME. And let him that is athirst come. And whosoever will, let him take the water of life freely.”

The Word “come” is a beautiful word. It’s one of God’s favorite words. He loves to say, “Come.”

“Come unto Me. Come to Me. I’m always available.” “Come to me you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.”

His Word is COME.

He also talks about how He is coming to us. He will be coming again. He came the first time as a little baby. It’s not long since we have celebrated Christmas time when we remember how Jesus came to this earth.

Most people don’t believe that He was actually born at Christmastime. It may have been at the time of the Feast of Tabernacles in the fall; but He was most probably conceived at that time.

This is how He came. Isn’t it unbelievable? He came as a seed conceived by the Holy Ghost and He grew as a little baby in His mother’s womb. It is so amazing and so incredible.

He came to bring salvation and He came to die upon the cross for our sins. What a coming! Oh we will never fathom it all! My mind cannot fathom the greatness, the awesomeness of our salvation. It is beyond what we can ever understand with our finite minds. I don’t know whether we will understand the fullness of it even in eternity.

Jesus did not only come the first time when He died and was buried and rose again and now lives ascended at the right hand of the Father, but He is coming again.

He is coming a second time. Are we ready?

Well I’m sure you are ready. You have invited Him to come into your life and to cleanse you of your sin. You’re seeking to walk day by day in His presence being ready for His coming.

But the Bible also talks about how we are to be LOOKING for His coming. That is always rather a challenge to me. I find in this very affluent world in which we live we have everything we need.

Often, we think we don’t (have everything we need). We think we need this or we think we need that but really we have more than we need.

Because we’re comfortable, we’re not desperately saying, “Lord Jesus, come!”

I remember reading a novel by Randy Alcorn. Have you read any of his books? He is a great writer. He wrote a wonderful book about Heaven, which I haven’t read yet. I’ve just had it on my heart that I must get that book and read it; so I’m going to be reading that very soon.

But I have read a couple of his Christian novels and they are very powerful. This one was called Safely Home. A lot of it was about the persecution of the Christians in China.

He talked a lot about prayer meetings and how in these prayer meetings in the underground church where they had to hide to meet with one another. He said they would be down on their knees with their hands raised to Heaven and crying out, “Lord Jesus, come! Please come, Lord Jesus!” Because their lives were in peril and they were suffering persecution they were desperate. They so longed for the coming of the Lord.

I’m so often challenged that I don’t have that desperation for the coming of Jesus.

Yes, I want Him to come. I am looking for His coming. I confess it. I am looking for His coming and longing for His coming. I am longing for that day when we will meet Him face to face.

I love to dream about eternity and what it will be like.

But then again, I get taken up with life. I’m not saying on a day-to-day basis, “Oh Lord Jesus, please come!”

Oh my, I could tell you one or two stories. In fact, I feel so guilty about this, but I can remember away back when I first fell in love with my wonderful husband and I just couldn’t wait to get married.

I remember saying, “Oh Lord Jesus, I love You but would You mind just waiting until I get married before You come because I so want to get married to this man that I love.”

I’m not sure whether or not I held back the Lord’s coming!

Then I said another prayer: “Lord, would You mind just waiting until I have my first baby?” because I couldn’t wait to have my first baby.

I remember after being married and I had my second period. I just cried and cried, “Oh goodness, am I going to be able to have a baby?”

I don’t know, I think of so many couples today who get married and get on the pill and wait two or three years. I can’t even understand their brains! I mean, do they not want to know and be sure that they can get pregnant ? And yet they just hang out and do their other things and not wanting another baby? I don’t know. I can’t get around that. I was just crying after I had a second period.

But then God blessed us with our first baby and then blessed us with more babies. I was so blessed.

But then, oh! Our children grow up and they began to get married and our oldest son got married. He was the first one.

Then I prayed again: “Oh, dear Jesus, would You mind if You just waited until I have my first grandbaby?”

Oh my! Can you believe how bad I was? But these were the longings of my heart and I think God understood.

I remember when we all came to the States. We were New Zealanders and then we moved to Australia. We lived in Australia for ten years where we pioneered and pastured a church.

My husband always knew that at some stage we would come to the United States. Eventually God opened up the right time. We came to the States and in sovereign ways God brought all our children here. Some were already married, and some were already here when we came.

Our oldest sons were here. In those early days they were just getting the Newsboys, a big Christian band, off the ground. So they were here and eventually we were all here together except one of our sons. Our son, Rocklyn and his wife, Monique, were still in Australia.

We actually waited fifteen years before they came to join us. Those were long, long years.

We were so blessed to have most of our family around us, which was still amazing when we have lived in three different countries.

Then the day came when we heard, yes, they had decided to leave Australia and they were going to come and live with us all. But they were going to make it a surprise. We knew they were on their way, but we didn’t know their plans. It turned out they went to New Zealand first. They were going through New Zealand.

We didn’t know the day they were going to arrive. It was like the coming of Jesus. We know He is coming. We know He is coming soon but we don’t know the day or the hour and so we must be ready.

We were ready and looking and waiting for the coming of our son and his wife and child. Yes, it was only one child then. Every day we would call each other and say, “Do you think this will be the day that they will come?”

We were all waiting, and we could hardly wait, and we were just filled with anticipation and excitement.

Every day we would say, “They haven’t come today! Where are they? What are they doing?”

Finally the day came. We didn’t know till they were here in Nashville. We couldn’t believe it. It was just so exciting. They were here. Our family was complete.

Although so many have been added since that day! I can’t count how many!

It was an amazing experience but at the same time I felt guilty. I thought, “Wow, am I looking for Jesus like I was waiting and looking and just so aspiring for our son to come and be with us?”

May God put that desire within us, that longing and waiting and looking for His coming.

Let’s look at some other Scriptures, shall we?

We will start with Titus chapter 2. I love these Scriptures here.

Titus 2:11, 12 says: “For the grace of God that bringeth salvation hath appeared to all men, teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world.”

That’s interesting, isn’t it? The grace of God which brings salvation teaches us to live soberly, righteously, and godly. Sometimes people think the grace of God gives us license to live however we would like.

No, it’s the grace of God that teaches us to live soberly, righteously, and godly in this present world, “LOOKING  for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Savior Jesus Christ; Who gave himself for us, that he might redeem us from all iniquity, and purify unto himself a peculiar [or set-apart] people, zealous of good works.”

Here it talks about looking for His coming. Another Scripture says He is coming for those who look for Him. That is the challenge, isn’t it? That we are looking for Him.

We go over to 2 Timothy chapter 4:8. Paul is speaking and he says: “Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them also that LOVE his appearing.”

Yes. Are we those who LOVE His appearing?

Let’s go over to 2 Peter chapter 3:11, 12: “ But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up. Seeing then that all these things shall be dissolved, what manner of persons ought ye to be in all holy conversation and godliness, LOOKING for [there it is again! Looking for!] and hasting unto the coming of the day of God, wherein the heavens being on fire shall be dissolved, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat?”

There we read it again: we are to be looking for and hasting. We don’t use that word “hasting” very much in our vocabulary today, do we?

Let’s look at the New Living Translation of that verse. It says: “Looking forward to the day of God and hurrying it along.”

We’re meant to be hurrying it along.

The Holman Translation says: “Waiting for and earnestly desiring the coming of the Lord.”

The Complete Jewish Bible says: “As you wait for the day of God and work to hasten His coming.”

This Scripture even says how we must do something to help hasten the day of the Lord to come.

I think of Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5 is a beautiful passage, the latter part being about husbands and wives and how they are to act together.

Starting at verse 25 going straight through verse 27: “ Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

This Scripture tells us that Jesus is coming for a bride that is holy and without blemish. No spots, no wrinkles, or any such thing.

Wow, I don’t think we are there yet, do you? We are not the bride of Christ that is pure, holy, and without spot, or without wrinkle.

We’ve got so many spots and wrinkles and sins. There is such a spirit of the world and materialism. There is such apathy in the church today and yet is this the bride that He is coming for?

I believe that if we are going to hurry it along, we have got to start purifying our lives, don’t we? I am sure this is part of hasting the day of the Lord.

As we look at these last verses of the Bible in Revelation 22 where we started, Jesus says: “Surely I come quickly.”

Then the response of the Bride: “Even so, come, Lord Jesus.”

Then as we read in verse 17: “And the Spirit and the bride say, Come . . ..”

The Holy Spirit in us is saying, “Come! Come, Lord Jesus!”

It says the bride (the bride, that’s us), we who are part of His family, we who are part of the church, we who are called His bride should also be saying, “Come! Come, Lord Jesus!”

Yet I also believe that although that is the literal prayer we should be praying, “Come, Lord Jesus,” I believe that sometimes we have to pray preparatory prayers before He can even come because we need Jesus to come to us in so many ways before we are ready for His coming.

We first of all need to pray, “Come. Come into my life, Lord Jesus.”

Do you remember that little song? When I was a child, we used to sing it and I won’t sing it to you because I’m not a very good singer! I can’t even believe how I could raise daughters who could sing in perfect pitch and who were signed by a record label and I can’t even sing in tune!

We used to sing these words:

“Into my heart, into my heart,

Come into my heart, Lord Jesus.

Come in today. come in to stay.

Come into my heart, Lord Jesus.”

We pray a prayer like that when we first ask Him to come into our hearts and we’re born again by His Spirit. But I believe we can still pray that. I love to sing that little song, “Oh come! Come, come!”

Do you want God to come to your life continually? Come into my life, Lord Jesus. Come in today. Come in to stay. Come, come, come, I want you! I want Your presence every moment of the day.

Dear mother, in your home, pray these prayers of  “Come.”

“Come, Lord Jesus. Even so, come, Lord Jesus.” He’s coming a second time, but we need Him to come today. “Come today into my heart.”

We need Him to come today into the hearts of our children. Do you pray this prayer for your children?  Come, Lord Jesus, even so, come, Lord Jesus, into the lives of my children!” Oh how we need to cry that prayer. I pray it so much. I need God for my children.

Yes, you need Him for your little ones and your middling ones and your big ones because as you know, your children aren’t perfect.

The enemy wants your children and you see that as things come into their lives and we must pray that God will come into their lives. Pray it. That’s one of the greatest prayers that you can pray: “Lord Jesus, come. Please come into the lives of my children that they will be born again by Your Holy Spirit. That they will know Your presence in their lives. That they will know that You are real and that You are their Savior and their Lord. That they will know Your presence in their lives.”

We pray it but then of course we also must do that which will help that to happen.

I love that Scripture in 2 Timothy 3:15. Paul is writing to Timothy and saying: “ And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus.”

How do our children get this faith? They get it by the Scriptures! That is what the Bible says. It is the Scriptures that prepare them for salvation, the Scriptures that make them wise to salvation.

So a child in a godly home, in your home where you are opening up the Scriptures to your children morning and evening and they’re hearing the Scriptures, that living Word of God goes into their hearts and prepares them for salvation so that they can come to know Jesus at a very early age.

Maybe at three, four, or five years they can be ready to open their hearts to Jesus because the Scriptures, the living Word of God, opens their hearts. That is such a good thing.

The earlier your children come to know Jesus, the earlier that they invite Him into their hearts, the better it is because when Jesus comes into their lives, He comes in to stay. He comes in to live and dwell in their hearts.

When that happens you are able then to teach your children how they can live in victory when they get into these states of defiance, and when they become rebellious, and when they lie, and are being very naughty.

Because that’s what children do, it’s just their flesh nature and we’ve got that flesh nature, too, but we have to learn to say no to that fleshly nature and yes to Jesus and His life, the life of Jesus Who dwells in us.

We can teach our children that. We can say, “Children, you don’t have to give in to that temper. You don’t have to get mad at your brother and sister. That’s just the devil. That’s just your old flesh and you can say No to that.

You can say, “’Jesus, help me!’” because Jesus is living in you and Jesus is filled with love and grace and patience and He will help you.”

You are teaching your children at a very young age to live in victory.

But we must pray for them because the enemy is out to get the souls of our children.

We can pray, “Oh Lord Jesus, Come! Come to my children.”

Maybe you have an older child who is straying away from the faith. Oh, they can’t get away from your prayers.

Cry out, “Oh come, Lord Jesus! Come . . . come . . . come! Come to my child! Come by the power of Your Holy Spirit!” because it is only by the power of the Holy Spirit.

Zechariah 4:6: “ . . .  Not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the Lord of hosts.”  

What could I do without that promise? Who is speaking in that Scripture? It is the Lord of hosts! Who is the Lord of hosts? He is the Lord of the armies of heaven.

That’s what the word “hosts” means. It is speaking of an army, an army organized for war. God Himself is the great Warrior. He is the One Who is the Leader of all the armies of Heaven.

He is the One Who will work as we cry out to Him and say, “Lord Jesus, come! Come by Your Spirit. I can’t do it. I can’t change them.”

We can’t change our children. We can’t make it happen. It’s only by the power of the Holy Spirit. So cry out to Him.

Dear mothers, let’s become those who are constantly crying out, “Come, Lord Jesus. Come into my home. Come to my table.”

As we start every meal, we usually say grace, don’t we? Don’t just make it a parrot-thing that you say when you have grace. Truly ask the Lord to COME!

“Lord Jesus, come to our table tonight! Come to our table this morning. We need You.”

You do need Him at your table, don’t you?

When your children are little or middling and you’re still training them how to sit at the table, because they are still little children they can sometimes get into fights or squabbles, groaning and complaining about this or that, when we just want our table to be filled with the presence of the Lord. So pray it: “Come, Lord Jesus.”

You could maybe give thanks all together and all say, with all the children, “Come, Lord Jesus to our table.”

As the children are praying that, too, it is going to change them.

God wants to come at all moments and at all times in our lives. He is “always there” to come. He wants to be dwelling continually in our hearts.

But there are specific times that God does love to come. One of these we find out at the very, very beginning.

We know that after Adam and Eve had taken of the fruit and sinned, it tells of how God came to the garden. He came into the garden in the cool of the day. That was His habit. Each day He came to talk with Adam and Eve at the cool of the day.

That was at the end of the day. It wasn’t in the middle of the day when they were working because God established work in the very beginning. Did you know that God established work when He created the man and the woman? It says that God put him in the garden to work in it and to guard it.

The word “work” is a real word that means “ work, to work by the sweat of your brow, to work hard.” God established work. It came in before the fall.

When I was a young child I used to think, “Oh, work came in after the fall because of sin.” That’s how I used to think of work! But I don’t think of work like that now. I LOVE work because work is therapeutic. When you do a good day of hard work you sleep so much better.

When you work you learn to do things better. Out of work comes great inventions and wonderful creativity. Work is good for the soul and good for the body.

They had to work in the garden, so God didn’t come in the day when they had to work in the garden. He came when it was time to relax. He came to talk to them at that time. It was the time when they would eat at the end of the day and they would sit together. What glorious, glorious times they must have had as they walked and talked with God Himself in the garden.

God still wants to come at this time of the day. He loves to come at this special time of the day. Did you know that, ladies?

Make it wonderful for God to come. The sad part about it is, is that many families are missing at this time of the day. They’re out on the sport’s field. They’re out somewhere doing this or doing that. They’re out in the traffic.

It seems that the enemy loves to get the family out of the home at this very special time of the day.

Oh goodness me, the enemy is subtle, and he knows what he is doing, and we need to be up to what he is doing.

Dear precious mothers, this evening time is a special time of the day. God established it in the beginning. It is when He came to Adam and Eve. He wants to come to your home, to your table, to your family around your table at this time of the day.

Now what happened after they had sinned? Oh yes, they were there every day but after they sinned, they weren’t there.

What does the Bible say? That Adam and Eve hid themselves from the presence of the Lord (Genesis 3:8-10). Yes, they were hiding because now it wasn’t the same. Sin had come in.

We must watch, lovely ladies, that we don’t hide ourselves from the presence of the Lord just like Adam and Eve did.

Let’s be in our homes ready for God to come. He wants to come to your table so be there to prepare that meal, to get a lovely meal ready for your family, to draw your family around the table to eat and fellowship.

Then you can hear from God as you open the Word of God. Never leave the table until you have fed the spirit as well as the body. So you listen to God speak to you because He comes to speak to us. Then of course, we pray together, and we speak to Him.

We meet with Him at the end of the day, this special time of the day when He wants to come to us.

Amen?

Let’s pray:

“Dear Father, Oh, we just want to confess today how we love You and how we want You to come. We look for Your coming.

“Oh God we see all this sin in this sin-sick world and we long for You to come. But, Lord, we also long for You to come to us now and to bring Your powerful presence into our lives and into our homes and come and meet us at our tables.

“Oh, God, let us be people who just constantly cry out for Your coming in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

 

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 85- UNAPOLOGETICALLY UNASHAMED AND UNOFFENDABLE!

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello ladies. It is great to be with you again. It’s going to be such an exciting episode because today I have with me one of my daughters, Evangeline. Now when Evangeline comes on the scene it will be exciting.

I know lots of you know Evangeline, but if you don’t, she is the mother of ten children. Her oldest is Zadok who is 27. Coming down the line there is Sharar and then there is Rashida who is married and is expecting her third baby. Isn’t that wonderful? Then there is Crusoe and he is married to Stephanie and they have a little girl called Hosanna. Jireh is next and he is married too, to Alyvia and they are having a baby, too (Sadly, since this podcast, Alyvia gave birth to a still birth baby which has been so tragic for them).

Then there is Arrow. Arrow is just on 6’8”. We kind of grow giants around here. Arrow is the tallest, but all the boys are tall. Then there are the three beautiful girls: Tiveria, Sahara, and Iqara. They are all tall, slim, and beautiful. We then come to Saber, the youngest.

So Vange, it’s so great to have you with me today!

Evangeline Johnson: Yay, yay, yay and it is going to be exciting because Mum just made me a beautiful peppermint tea drink. I’ve gulped it down wrong and I feel like I’m going to burp but I can’t burp so I’m trying to get it out. So if I accidently . . ..

NC: Don’t!

EJ: Sorry . . . that would be Mum’s no no!

NC: Any way, now Vange, you have recently been on a cruise. I couldn’t imagine you ever going on a cruise . . . how did you get on a cruise?

EJ: Well, this is just the most amazing thing because I grew up camping in the sand.

NC: Yes, you usually don’t go on cruises; that’s not your thing. You’re usually out camping.

EJ: Right, I love surviving. That’s my thing and it’s just part of my fun. Actually my sisters had taken me on a cruise before.

I thought, “Well, how on earth is Vange going to do this? It’s going to be interesting with my husband.” We owned that” boat.” My sister, Pearl, said that she just had the best time watching me milk every second from that cruise that could have ever been had. So I became the cruise queen and I hadn’t been on one since. We had gone to the Caribbean and I fell in love with the Caribbean. I’m going to tell you quickly how we got to go on this cruise.

It’s so fun and it’s so Jesus because in this past October I just got this feeling and I asked Howard and I said, “Hey darling, we should go to the Caribbean in January.”

He just laughed at me and I went on my merry way.

The next day I walked past him again and this funny feeling came on me.

I said, “Darling no, seriously, let’s go. Let’s go in January when it’s cold. Let’s escape the cold and go to the Caribbean, yahoo!”

He looked at me with this funny smirk and he was just like, “That’s hilarious, darling.”

The third day, it as just like the funniest thing. It was like Queen Esther going before the King. It wasn’t like a whine, but it was just like this funny thing that came upon me every day. I was just like, “No darling, let’s go, let’s go, let’s go! It’ll be so fun!”

He said, “Darling, I appreciate the thought, but we just don’t have the funds right now.”

I said, “Oh funds-shmunds, let’s go free!”

He laughed at me and said, “Everything to you is free!”

The next day I said, “Let’s go! We can go free.”

He said, “How?”

I said, “Well we can kayak down” because I’m actually this ocean-kayaking girl and I thought that if we could hike three or five miles or ten miles, I can surely kayak several days down to the Caribbean. In fact, I had mapped it all out in my head. I thought, “Well, you know, some people do this and it’s going to happen.”

So he just laughed his head off!

NC: And this is not a joke. Vange’s favorite thing to do is to kayak. When we go down to Panama Beach in Florida for our annual family holiday, we’re all relaxing on the beach but Vange is out two miles into the ocean fishing for sharks.

EJ: It’s so great!

So the next day I told him and I said, “Darling, I have married you for millions of reasons but on the top five that I can think of is that you are adventurous and you have married the most adventurous woman—LET’S DO IT!”

Well he just laughed and that’s all I got.

But the laugh was mine in the end. Howard had left to go out of state and do a job. I have a very dear friend. I call her dear because we’d only met twice but in the two times of me meeting, we just were dear to each other, and we didn’t know each other’s families or husbands.

She texted me the next day and said, “Where have you been for the week?”

I was like, “Well I’ve been here but all the pass codes are mucked up on my phone and iPad, so I haven’t been getting any messages till now.”

She said, “Well I’ve been trying to get a hold of you for a week because for the last week, God has been telling me that you are supposed to go to the Caribbean in January.”

NC: That’s unbelievable!

EJ: I just got chills up and down my arm.  I was thinking, “My husband doesn’t know this woman, none of my children know what I said to Howard. Nobody in the world knows apart from God.”

She texted me and said, “Yes, God told me your name: Vangie shall go to the Caribbean from January 3^rd to the 12^th on this cruise. Paid for. Done.”

So guess what? I went.

Howard came back and I showed him the text and he was like, “No way!”

He said, “No one would believe this other than me because you came to me seven days in a row. This is God. You think this is your idea, Vange, but no, God has high jacked your idea. He wants you on that boat.”

So any way it’s amazing because even before I got to the boat the hotel was paid for on the way down, too, by this woman.

I asked this woman on the lift on the way down where she was from and she said somewhere. She said, “I’m going on a cruise.”

I said, “No way! Me too! What cruise are you going on?”

She said, “Sky Princess.”

I said, “ME TOO!”

She just turned around because her husband was in a hurry and without knowing anything about me and she said, “God wants you on that boat.”

NC: Wow, that was confirmation.

EJ: Yes, it was just the biggest blast. I mean I don’t know but that the boat is still rocking from having me on it.

NC: So what happened when you first got on the boat?

EJ: Well you know, many of my best friends have told me years later, “You know, Vange, when I first met you, I thought you were drunk!”

So I don’t know, maybe the boat thought I was a bit tipsy, but I’ve never had a bit of alcohol in my life because that would be scary, and I just don’t believe in it. If you’re an alcoholic out there, sorry!

I’m just drunk enough as it is.

I just want to tell you women; mothers are too stuck up half the time and we just need to let loose with some laughing and hysterical joy because the Bible literally correlates a mother as a mother of JOY and laughter.

Laughter actually heals the bones and it sets people free. You have been set free if you have Jesus. Jesus comes and He takes away our shame and do you know what that makes us? It makes us the unashamed ones.

But I see so many people going around and they live like they’re ashamed. They wouldn’t say that they’re ashamed of Jesus, but they never talk about their best Friend. If they do, they’re just talking about their church or their theology, but people don’t want that. They want His love.

He’s taken away your shame and He’s made you unashamed so therefore you can look like and act like you’re unashamed.

They’re ashamed of what God has given them.

He’s made you a mother and He’s given you children. People are ashamed to tell that they’re a mother or how many children they’ve got. They’re ashamed of their size or they’re ashamed of they’re looks.

God made you as you are. Go out there and be you and stop being ashamed! Be unapologetically unashamed.

NC: Amen!

EJ: Be unoffendable.

NC: I believe that because I think that the most important thing in life, you know, Christ, who is our life, so often we’re ashamed to speak about Him in public.

EJ: No we’re not.

NC: No, but many are, and we shouldn’t be.

The fact of even as you say, being a mother. I mean, so many women today are apologizing for being a mother. Goodness me! We’ve got to stop apologizing and say who we are and be proud of it! This is who God has made us to be!

EJ: Yes! I’ve got these verses here: “I am not ashamed of the gospel . . ..”  That’s Romans 1:16. In fact, in the Aramaic it says: “I refuse to be ashamed . . ..”

That’s my life motto. I just REFUSE to be ashamed of Jesus and His love for me.

I refuse to be ashamed of who He made me to be.

Psalm 34:5: ”They looked to Him and were radiant; they’re faces were never ashamed.”

I’ve got such funny stories of that from on the boat.

NC: Wait, before you tell your story, I wonder if you know, that my father, your grandfather, whom you love so much, that was his Scripture: “For I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Christ: for it is the power of God unto salvation . . ..”

That was his Scripture. He was not ashamed. We think of him back there in Rotorua, New Zealand, one who was a great entertainer in Agrodome, one of the greatest tourist shows in New Zealand. Then, at the same time, he would be out on the streets preaching. He was not ashamed to own the gospel of Christ.

EJ: Right. That’s so great.

NC: Maybe that’s where you got it from.

EJ: Well, no, we get it from Jesus but of course that carries on down your line. Your children will pick it up and then they become unashamed.

But there were so many funny stories on the boat!

My son said to me, “Mom, nobody gets away.”

I want to tell you ladies that when you wake up, I want that to be your motto:

NOBODY GETS AWAY FROM JESUS IN YOU!

Nobody should get away, whether you’re shopping or it’s your husband or it’s your children. Wherever you are, everyone who touches your atmosphere gets Jesus.

Even if it’s just a word of kindness, because Jesus comes in so many dimensions: He comes with a word of grace. He comes with love. He comes with truth. He comes with a caress. He comes with kindness.

It is His loving-kindness that draws us to repentance. If you haven’t repented and are filled with His presence, then what you are filled up with is only theology. The world is sick of theology. They want His presence because it is His kindness and His presence that brings us to repentance.

If you’re just only giving out law and instruction, well forget it. Unless you’re filled up with this love of Jesus so it’s overflowing then you have no right to give anything out.

But if you are, then nobody gets away and that’s our motto. Nobody gets away without there being a word of kindness from Him because that’s Who Jesus is.

Anyway, on the boat, nobody got away. Actually, before I even got on the boat nobody got away—it was all the taxi drivers and everybody.

I live out here with all my children and they all love Jesus but whenever I’m out, and for people who might not know the Lord or I don’t know where they are, I say, “Lord, I’m an open vessel for you. Who do You want? Is it this one or is it that one needing a word?”

So just get over your shyness. Get over your ashamedness because you’re not ashamed. Just go for it!

Within about two hours the people from the information place on the boat where you can get all your questions answered were yelling out to me, “You are the happiest person that ever walked on this boat since we’ve opened it.”

I’m like, “Yoo-hoo! Yes I am!”

Then they all found out I had ten children and they all just couldn’t believe it. Then I would say, “I’m not even Islamic but I love Jesus!”

They would just stare at me like, “What planet are you from?”

Anyway, in the end, they were just like this is the happiest person that we have ever met.

NC: Amazing!

EJ: These ships have all these people from all around the world. They’re like countries of themselves. I think they have their own security.

They have people working from all around the world. I met all these Filipinos, Slovenians,  and Ukrainians.

Before I had even put my luggage in the room I was talking about Jesus and one of them said, “You know, I’m a Christian.”

I said, “But do you love Jesus? See there’s a big difference.”

He’s like, “Yeah, I . . . I think I do.”

I said, “Why are you whispering?”

Then I started yelling, “You are the unapologetic, unashamed lover of Jesus” and all these others came running because they heard me yelling.

They said, “Yeah, we’re Christians, too.”

I said the same thing, “But do you love Jesus?”

They said, “Yes.”

I told them, “From now on, you are not silent. You are the change. You are the ones that on this boat they’re screaming for! “They’re coming on this boat trying to have a good time to party and celebrate. There’s no greater reason than what they’re on this boat for but what you can give them.”

It was just so much fun!

I met so many of them! After about two hours of me telling my story of my whole life and talking about Jesus they would quietly say, “Um, I go to this church . . ..”

I would say, “Oh, well is it a church who loves Jesus?”

They were like, “Yeah, of course.”

“But do you?”

They would respond, “Yes.”

I would say, “Well then, why are you quiet?”

Anyway, there was this beautiful couple that came to me. They had found me two days after and they said, “We have non-stop talked about what you did because we didn’t know that you could actually be happy and be free in Jesus.”

I just want to tell all of you women out there, Jesus calls you the happy mother of children and why?  because you know Him, and He’s given you this great life. Don’t hide it. Don’t hide it. Give it out. Bring Jesus.

Your husband doesn’t get away without you showing Jesus to Him today. Your children don’t get away. You’re going to give Jesus to them. Whatever it is, you’re going to give it out.

No one gets away. You are unashamed, you are unapologetic, and you are unoffendable by what anybody can do to you. 

NC: That is powerful.

EJ: What stories do you want?

NC: Just tell me some more. We would love to hear some more, wouldn’t you, ladies?

EJ: I met this dear, dear friend and she was about eighty. Everybody I sat by, I got talking of course because they are human lives and we don’t want to sit next to them and stare into space like, “We don’t know you.”

She said, “Who are you?”

I got to telling her all about my life and family. I told her ten children, that I wasn’t even Islamic, but I love Jesus.

She yells out to me, “I love Jesus, too!”

I was like, “WOW! What do you do?”

She said, “I am a writer.”

“That’s incredible! What do you write?” I asked.

She said, “Well I write steamy romance novels.”

Without a beat I go, “You’re joking me! What sort of steamy novels?”

She said, “Well sort of evil sexual ones like that.”

In my brain I’m thinking, “Lady, I love you but you’re like forty years too late. It’s like, come on, come on! That’s old school! Get with the picture.”

When you’re loving on somebody, they know your heart. We’ve already had like twenty minutes where I encouraged her and talked to her and befriended her and she was just lapping it up.

I turned around and said to her, “Have you ever thought of writing for Jesus?”

She just looked at me with shock and horror like, “I’ve never had anybody ask me that before in my whole life!”

She said, “Well, that’s an interesting question because all of the conservative Christians are just full of hate.”

I didn’t even want to get into the argument of it, so I just said, “Yeah, well, Jesus is full of love, isn’t He?”

“Yes He is,” she answered.

She told me she was going to write this book about two men meeting in a church.

I was just like, “Jesus, You are a Man of love and you love us all and it just came out, so I told her!”

I just said, “Jesus is such a man of love and He just loves those people. He just loves them. In fact, I’ve got friends who Jesus loves who are like that. It is sad because in that culture, they are the ones who take their lives more than any other sort of people.”

She said, “Really?”

I said, “Yes, it’s really sad. They’re desperate for the love of Jesus.”

She said, “Yeah, it’s because people are mean to them.”

I said, “You know, it’s more than that. It’s more that Jesus wants to tweak His love. Jesus loves us all, but He tweaks us all because that’s true love. He wants to tweak them. He wants to tweak me, and He wants to tweak you. I feel like He’s wanting to tweak your writing.”  

She just couldn’t believe it!

She said, “Man! I wish I had met you a week earlier! This is wild! I’ve never thought about this.”

Don’t be afraid to go out there with the love of Jesus and just bring the truth to challenge people to move into His love and move into His truth because no one else is going to say it to them and no one else is going to give it.

It’s you. That’s why you’re left on earth.

Can I say another one Mum?

NC: Yes! Keep going. This is exciting!

EJ: There were stories from morning to night from taxi drivers. We had ordered five taxis and all of them had sort of canceled on us so when we finally got one, inside of our hearts, like, “Lord, this has got to be Your one.”

But it was more than just His one for us—it was for her.

We got her and she just unraveled her life story. Her husband had just left her, and she was crying in the car. She said, “I’m unloved and I’m unbeautiful.”

It was absolutely a download of God’s love and praying for her.

While she was driving her taxi, she was lifting up one hand and saying, “Jesus! Jesus! Thank You! Amen, sister! God, You are so good! Thank You for loving me! Oh God, You brought these ladies to speak into my heart!”

It was just like WOW! You just don’t know the person whose standing in their shoes next to you or who is giving you the ride. You think you are paying for some ride but it’s really for them.

I knew that God had sent me on this cruise, not just to touch the people from whoever I sat with and talked to or whoever was doing my room or wherever I was but I knew there had to be some person who was desperate for their life.

I kept on praying and it was about the second to last day and I said, “Lord! Lord, who is it?”

Actually, on that day I had gone skin-diving in Belize or somewhere with this group; but I had wanted to go away from the tourists.

They said that six miles up you can skin-dive and that that’s where all the locals go. They said I would have to get a taxi.

I said, “No way! No taxi for me!” so I started running.

I had gone up there and it was fantastic!

NC: That wouldn’t be a lie either because Vange is fit. She walks every day and not one person can keep up with her!

EJ: Well, anyway, it was such a blast! I was running and skin-diving, and it was just glorious because it’s along the second biggest reef in the world.

As I was coming back, I passed this one guy who was about 29 to maybe 31. The Lord says to me, “That’s the one: him.”

I thought, “No, it can’t be him! No, it can’t be him because he looks like he’s a little bit with it. He doesn’t look desperate.”

But you never know. You think how people look tells us if they need or don’t need the love of Jesus, but God knows the heart.

So I just kept on going about five hundred feet past him and the Lord says, “Turn around, that’s the one.”

Now, instead of just coming up beside him and starting a conversation, I had to turn around and walk five hundred feet facing him, directly to him. Who knows what he thought!

Just as I got to him, I saw this big long pipe hanging out his backpack and I said to him, “Dude, what’s your pipe, mate?”

He started telling me what his pipe was for and all of a sudden, I heard myself saying, “What’s your name?”

He gave me his name and I said, “You know, you’ve been smoking on the wrong thing. Up there I passed you and God told me to talk to you and I thought, no, that you’re not the one. I went five hundred feet past you and God told me to turn around and come back and speak to you.”

He just lost it. He opened up his whole life. He said, “My Granddad was a person who loved Jesus just like you. He prayed for whole cities and saw so many people touched by the love of Jesus, but I’ve been running.

“I came on this trip as my last piece of fun before I took my life.”

He just followed me for an hour and half on the way back and all around. We just had the most amazing time of literally sharing the love of Jesus and His forgiveness and how God loves the one who comes back to Him.

We ended up praying and he gave his whole life unashamedly and unapologetically over to Jesus.

I felt like I was witnessing Jesus jump out and love all these people and just rescue this guy from doing something that he had designed to do when he got off the ship.

We don’t know. We think these are our ideas and God just highjacks them. I want you guys to have God high jacking you.

He gives us imaginations to do fun things in life. Let God take over your imagination and be open if God takes you on a holiday.

I met one couple and they were having their anniversary. They were missionaries, just a fantastic couple.

He said, “We go and do missions, but you’ve inspired me that it’s not that we just go and do missions, but even on our anniversaries we ARE missions. We don’t have to hide away even if it’s for self-reasons. Being ourselves IS Jesus and people can’t help but get him.”

I said, “That’s it! If we go out and do anything else, it’s a farse.”

NC: Yes, yes, that’s so exciting to hear, Vange.

EJ: It’s an exciting life, Mum! Life is excitable! I think that we tend to think that it’s all doom and glum and Jesus and bias. Jesus was the most joyful man to ever hit earth. If you think you’ve ever belly-laughed, Jesus laughed more!

The Bible says He was the most joyous man. So you cannot deny that. He laughed more than anybody. He had the biggest smile more than anybody.

We have gotten into this scenario in our culture that to really have a good time or belly laugh until your side is just splitting you have to drink or be drunk. That is why people, most probably, why people think I’m drunk, but I’m not. I’m just happy.

I see women who are so uptight that they actually have to watch comedians to laugh. We pay comedians for joy. Our culture has got so crazy. Yet you see little children laugh so often. He said that unless you become like little children you cannot enter the Kingdom of Heaven and I think that we take that a little bit too seriously.

What do you see little children do? They’re full of laughter. They’re full of giggling.

Heaven is full of laughter. It is full of joy. We need to get back to basics. Stop hiring your comedians! Start being joyful!

NC: I find comedians boring, don’t you?

EJ: Well half the time it’s just rude and I’m like, SERIOUSLY?

NC: Yes exactly. What does it say the Kingdom of God is?

Romans 14:17 says: “For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost.”

That’s what the Kingdom of God is.

You’re listening to Vange today, sharing these exciting stories as she was out on this cruise, but this is her life every day; when she goes out to the supermarket and anywhere she goes.

Dear mothers, lift up your eyes to see who God wants you to be in your homes, when you go out to the supermarket, when you go here and there. Yes, the home is your nesting place but you go out to do things and so you go out with the joy of the Lord, unashamedly, as Evangeline has said.

What are our words, Vange?

NC & EJ: Unapologetically unashamed!

EJ: And you’re unoffendable. Stop being so offended. God has given you everything you need. You are unoffendable.

NC: Yes, that is so powerful.

I was just thinking about, now at the moment, because you just love to sail and you love going out and getting with these drunken sailors, but you’re more drunk than they are with the Holy Ghost.

EJ: It’s so true and they couldn’t believe it.

Look, if any of you are sailing people, just get in contact with me because it’s been a lifelong thing and I’ve wanted to do it. I’ve just started and I’m going to eventually sail to the Caribbean myself. Right now I’m sailing on a lake and I’ve gotten with all these people who are sailors.

Do you know that sailors are the biggest drunken people? Oh but I love them! They are so great! It’s so funny! It’s just so funny!

NC: But do they think you’re more drunk than them?

EJ: Yes, they do! Of course they do! They just don’t know what to do with me!

NC: You know, sometimes you think, “Oh well, I’m just here in my home and I can’t really serve the Lord.” Then you hear about people who say, “As a woman you don’t have to be stuck in your home. You have to get out there and be an evangelist!”

No, both thoughts are wrong. We are just who God made us to be. We are mothers living our life filled with the joy of the Holy Ghost in our homes and wherever we go out taking the love and the joy of Jesus. Amen!

Anything else you want to say before you finish?

EJ: There are just a few more things here. Like Mum said, you tend to think, “Oh, poor me! I’m in my home.” But you get out and so many of these women are trying to be leaders of corporations and whatnot.

If you’ve got that given to you and it’s a side thing, then that’s great; but so many in that lifestyle have to act a certain way and it pulls the laughter out of you.

I feel like I want to yell my head off and say, “Come off those stupid cracked chairs because you think you’re sitting on a high pedestal of ‘Now my children are out of the house and now I can have a life.’”

It’s a cracked chair. You already have a life.

What I mean by a cracked chair is cracked thinking. It’s cracked thinking.

You have to feel the real earth beneath you and that’s freedom. The real earth beneath you is right, now whether you’re married, whether you’re single, whether you have children—that’s the earth beneath you.

Just start having fun with the real earth beneath you, okay?

Any chair that makes you feel more important than where you and where God has got you, not that you can’t aspire to things, is cracked thinking. It’s a chair that’s rustic, ruined, and sad, and will control you.

It wipes the happiness right out of you.

NC: That’s powerful.

I know you’ve been blessed today by a world-changing episode!

Evangeline, well we call her Vange of course, I’d like you to pray today for the ladies. I always pray for them at the end, so you pray today.

EJ: “Lord, You are so good. You’re just so good to us, You’re so good! “You love us so much. Thank You for Your presence and Your love.

“Lord, I ask more than anything that they would feel Your presence. That they would seek Your presence, seek Your face, that they would know You because none of this that we’re talking about can be had without, not the knowledge of being puffed up about You, but Lord Your friendship. Your kindness. Your love towards us. Your forgiveness and all You’ve done for us, Lord, and all that You bring every day.

“Let it be better than any movie or any book; that it’s so much more dynamic, Your Words to us every day, Lord, let them live and sing out in our lives.

“Lord, Your exuberance for life, Your excitingness amongst all the bad things that they hear every day, let them just yell and leap in their hearts as if they’re rushing through the beautiful wind on a mountaintop, even if they’re in a one roomed cabin.

“Let that be their heart and their experience and their atmosphere in the dimension of what they live out because You are inside them.

“Thank You, Jesus, thank You, Jesus, thank You, Jesus, thank You, thank You, Jesus.”

NC: Amen, be blessed and revolutionized and never the same again!

 

 

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 84 - WHEN’S THE BEST TIME TO HAVE A BABY?

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello ladies. I have Alison Hartman with me again today. It’s going to be so exciting to talk together.

(Daniel and Allison Hartman’s children are Makenna 21, Eden 17, Halle 15, Ethan 14, Asher 12 Levi 10, Emily Kate 8, Annalee 5, Solomon 4, Ezra 2 and baby girl coming in March 2020. And now Makenna is engaged to be  married to Josiah Crevier).

Before we get chatting, I just want to share a Scripture with you. Do you remember listening to my New Year’s podcast where I gave you a wonderful promise for this year?

It was Deuteronomy 11:12: “ . . . the eyes of the LORD thy God are always upon it . . ..” That’s talking about the children of Israel, but I believe that is a promise for us for our home.

It says that “ . . . the eyes of the Lord thy God are always upon it, from the beginning of the year even unto the end of the year.”

I just love that, don’t you?

But I’ve just been reading another Scripture that’s really challenged me, especially as we are going into this New Year. It’s found in Genesis 13:17. It is God speaking to Abraham, but of course that’s the literal word.

But the first thing we do when we read the Word of God is, we take it literally, but then we also take it personally. What is God saying to me personally? Listen to these words personally as I read them: “Arise, walk through the land in the length of it and in the breadth of it; for I will give it unto thee.”

God was saying to Abraham to go through the land. Walk through it. Walk through the length of it. Walk through all the breadth of it. I want you to know everything about this land because I am going to give it to you and to your descendants.

Of course that was the land of Israel which God gave to them and which belongs to Israel. It was given to them as an eternal and everlasting possession. Even though there are so many countries in the world that would like to take Israel off the Jewish people and they want to wipe them off the face of the earth, God has said that land belongs to them.

As we read this word personally, I believe God has given a land to us dear wives and mothers.

It is the land of His precious Word that’s filled with all the truth and all the promises and all the revelation of God’s plans for us. His purposes for us. His promises for us and what He has for us because of His great salvation

Our salvation is so much more than Jesus dying for our sins and through His incredible suffering and death upon the cross so that we can have forgiveness of sins. But it’s more than that. He died but He also rose again, and He now dwells within us and wants us to walk in victory. He wants us to be conquerors in His name. He shows us how to in His Word but most of us never walk through it. We just hang around the edges. We know a little bit. We hear God’s Word spoken at church. But do we ever really walk through the length of it? Do we walk through the breadth of it? Do we find out all that God has for us?

I think that’s a challenge. It is a challenge for us personally and as families. If we would together as a family walk through the land of God’s truth and revelation and not just know a wee little bit of it, but to discover it.

We go over to Joshua 18:1-10 and this is where the Israelites went into the land and conquered the Canaanites. They had conquered most of their enemies but there were still seven tribes who had not taken possession of the land. So Joshua said to them in verse 3: “ . . . How long are ye slack to go to possess the land, which the Lord God of your fathers hath given you?”

He said, “I’ve given it to you, but you’ve got to possess it!”

He told them, “I want you to pick out certain men and they shall arise and go through the land and describe it.” Joshua 18:8: “ . . . and Joshua charged them that went to describe the land, saying, Go and walk through the land, and describe it, and come again to me . . ..”

The men went through the land and described it by cities into seven parts in a book and came again to Joshua.

Hey, do you notice that in that little passage that the word “describe” is mentioned four times? What does it mean? Well first of all, I noticed that there are three things that Joshua told them to do in order to possess the land.

No. 1. THEY HAD TO ARISE

Once again, ladies, it comes back to that affirmation I love to say: “Things don’t just happen, you have to make them happen.”

Nothing happens unless we arise and do it. We have to get off our apathetic butts--now that’s being pretty raw, isn’t it—but it’s true!

We’re so apathetic. We just let things happen and if we just let things happen, they never happen. We’ve got to make them happen.

We have to arise personally and as families, getting our families together each day and say, “Okay, we’re going to walk through a little bit more of the land today, children. We’re going to discover more of what God has for us.”

You see, when you’re having that time in your family life where you’re gathering your family to read the Word to them, you don’t just say, “Okay children, time to read the Bible now.”

That can sound so boring, can’t it?

No, you’ve got to let them know what you’re actually doing! You’re going to say, “Hey, children, come! We’re going to gather together and we’re going to find out a little bit more of the land today! We’re going to walk through a little bit more and find out what God has for us.”

We can never ever walk in what we don’t know. If we don’t know what we’ve got, even though God has given it to us, we can’t walk in it.

Let me tell you a little story! A dear friend of mine was looking after Above Rubies in the UK for many years. She is a New Zealander as I was originally. I still am but I am also a US citizen now too.

She said her brother who still lived in New Zealand bought some land. He bought over ten acres and he was hoping that it would be something that would help provide for his family. But somehow the land really wasn’t good enough, but he used it as a hobby land.

The years went by and his family grew up. He thought, “Oh well, I think I’ll sell this land. It never really was able to give me what I bought it for.” When the time came to sell his land, he found he had ten acres that he didn’t know about. He didn’t know it was part of the land he bought. Those ten acres were so fertile and could have been the provision for their family.

The neighbor was working the ten acres and so he went to this neighbor and he said, “That was my land!”

His neighbor said, “Well you never came and told me, so I just kept working it.”

Because he didn’t know, he missed out!

Dear ladies, that’s like a lot of us, isn’t it? We don’t know and we’re ignorant of what God has given us. That’s why we have got to walk through the land, the length of it and the breadth of it.

No. 2. THEY HAD TO ARISE AND WALK

Yes, they had to actually walk through it.

No. 3. THEY HAD TO DESCRIBE IT

Now that word in the Hebrew means: “to write about it.” They had to write. They had to go with their book, and they had to check out all the hills and valleys and mountains and plains.

They had to check out all the good parts and all the challenging parts. They had to check out every aspect of the land and they had to write it down in a book and bring it back to Joshua.

That’s what they did. I think that’s a very good thing for us to do to, to write down what God says to us.

I love to do that personally. When I have my own time in the Word of God, I have my journal beside me, and I always write what God says to me.

As I’m walking through the land, I don’t just keep to my favorite parts. We’ve got to walk through every bit of the land, ladies. That reminds me of one time when Colin and I were staying with a family in Holland when we were ministering there. We arrived off the boat because we had come from England on the boat this time. We usually fly.

We got off and we had breakfast with this family. They had all their little children around them, and they were reading through the Word of God.

They started in Genesis and they were up to this chapter and I couldn’t believe it because it was all the “begets.” I have to confess; I would have passed over the begets. I would have thought, “Oh goodness, my children couldn’t stand that.” I’m sure I would have left out the begets. I might gloss over them in my personal reading although I have to confess that sometimes I completely leave them out.

One time someone said to me, “Now if you’re name was there, you’d read it every day.”

But anyway, I couldn’t believe it: this family went through all the begets with their little children, with their three and five and seven-year-olds. They were sitting there listening to the begets; but they weren’t missing out on one part of the land.

In my personal time I always like to write.

Do you know what? That word “describe” is the same word that is used when God wrote the Ten Commandments and it says: “They were written by the finger of God.” The same word used of God writing.

I’ve just been doing a study recently about all the books that God has, and all the things God writes. It’s unbelievable! The only problem is that my book that I was writing it all out so I could complete the study— I’ve lost it. Oh, I’m so sad. I’ll have to do it all again.

But it is amazing. It’s just amazing all the books God has. He writes everything that we do. Goodness! He writes the whole story of our lives written in a book. I think Heaven is going to be filled with books!

Today in our social media age, people hardly write. They just do a little message through text. We’re even forgetting how to write, aren’t we?

Even if you don’t write anything else, at least write what God shows you as you’re walking through the land of His Word.

Can you take that challenge this year for you personally or as a family? That you’re going to really walk through that land— the length of it and the breadth of it so you will be a family that is not estranged to the Word of God and all His truths but you’re familiar with it and your children are familiar with it. Amen?

Okay, now Alison’s here and I’m talking too much because she’s got so much to say!

Now last week we were talking about all the things that can hinder us in our families of being together. What about what’s happening at the moment? Here you are, you’re pregnant with baby number eleven and this baby is going to be born in your busiest time in your family business. Your baby will only be about three weeks old when you’re going to be running this big family camp.

How are you going to do it? Did you plan it? Or did God plan it?

Alison Hartman: Definitely not. I’m 45 years old so it definitely was not a planned thing. It’s interesting, what you were just saying related to what I was thinking about.

Just yesterday you were saying that there’s never a convenient time to get married and there’s never a convenient time to have a baby. I think all of us can talk ourselves out of a baby very often as in our marriage it’s never really convenient.

We often joke that all our babies are all in January and February because that’s our slow season. This is the middle of March, which again is our big money season and our busiest season with Easter pictures.

We’re going to have to be creative on how we do it but thankfully we’ve gotten to where my big children are almost to where they can take it and run and I can kind of sit back and do some behind the scenes. If we weren’t in that position, I don’t know what we’d do; but again it’s who are we asking for advice?

A couple years ago I shared this story with you, and I thought about it just now. I was reading a post that someone had made on Facebook. I didn’t know this person well, she was a past customer of ours, but it caught my attention. She was young; she might have been in her late twenties or early thirties.

She said, “When does everyone think I should get fixed?  How and when should I get myself fixed from having children?”

NC: Fixed or broken?

AH: Broken in my opinion.

First of all, my thought was, is she asking Facebook. She doesn’t even know all of these people. Some she did, obviously. Any way, it was a day-old post and when I finally read it there was over 190 responses.

One hundred percent of them were telling her to do it this way or that way. Not one of them had encouraged her to maybe consider not.

I read the post out loud and I shared it with Daniel. He really isn’t into Facebook, but he said, “You have to make a comment. You have to say something.”

I said, “I’m not going there, no way! Not against 190 other people.”

He said, “Just write www.aboverubies.org and that’s it. Just write Nancy’s website.”

It ended up we fought all the way home about this, and I said, “I can’t do this” and he said, “No, no, no, you’ve got to do this.”

So I ended up saying something to this young girl. I said, “You don’t know me, I don’t know you that well, but I want to encourage you that maybe you aren’t to stop having children. Maybe you are to consider another alternative of maybe letting God choose the size of your family.”

I got a couple backlashes from friends of hers.

Interestingly enough, this young girl messaged me privately and shared how touching my response was. It’s going to make me cry because she said she stayed up all night on your website. She had never heard of Above Rubies.

What is interesting is she said to me, “You know, I am a Christian and I never considered what does God think about me getting fixed.”

I thought, “Wow!”

And it’s so true. Goodness, I wish I had a dollar for every person who says, “What! You’re pregnant at 45 with your eleventh baby! Why would you do that to yourself?”

I was sitting here thinking of why?

At the bottom of my email it says: “Children are a blessing. Debt is a curse. But in our society, we apply for curses and we reject blessings.”

We personally are not in debt and we don’t live in debt.

In the same way, we feel very strongly that if children are a blessing then who are we to decide what age they’re a blessing. Are they only a blessing when we’re in our twenties or in our thirties or when our doctor says they are?

If the Author of life is God then why are we asking Facebook, mothers-in-laws, friends, acquaintances, and total strangers what they think as far as what we should do concerning our age of fertility?

Thankfully, we found out about your ministry years ago in our marriage and it switched our mindset from “We’re going to have 3.2 children or whatever” to “We’re going to have as many children as God gives us.”

Now that may be three. That may be five. That may be none. But it wouldn’t be me that’s going to make the decision.

That takes a lot of pressure off your marriage.

It’s just so neat to see the blessing of your 13-year-old boy holding a baby on his hip , it’s the coolest thing.

Seeing my 10-year-old boy put my two-year-old on his shoulders and running him around the yard.

Seeing my 21-year-old loving on my one-year-old in a way that she will be doing very soon. It’s so special.

I grew up in a decent sized family of six children, but I wouldn’t say I was prepared for motherhood whereas I really believe my girls are.

People say, “Well what do you mean you’re leaving your children to go to Israel?”

But my 15-year-old I would believe is as capable as most mothers today. She’s changed just about as many diapers. She’s dealt with issues and discipline.

Then you get critical people who say, “Oh a teenager should never have that responsibility.”

Well why? What are we raising them to be? Are we raising them to be children or are we raising adults?

NC: Exactly ,and when you think about it, we’ve just been celebrating the most amazing event in the history of the world when a young teenage girl became pregnant by the power and overshadowing of the Holy Ghost.

She was probably no more than fifteen and God believed that she was mature and ready to not only carry the Son of God in her womb but also bring forth and nurture this child.

We don’t think like we’re meant to really think, do we?

AH: You know, if we really waited around for the perfect time, we would have stopped a long time ago because there’s nothing easy and convenient about having a baby in your forties.

NC: I remember reading that statement when I was a young mother and thinking, “How true. There is just never a convenient time to have a baby.”

Maybe you’re listening to that verse and you know you’d like to have another baby, but oh goodness me this is happening in your situation.

I know you think, “Oh wow, we better wait.”

But listen, God knows so much better than we do and He’s the One Who has the most perfect timing. Just leave it with God because you think there will never be a convenient time.

But it’s amazing, because you conceive and you think, “Oh help! How are we going to fit this baby in!” but you always do. The baby always fits in and it’s always perfect.

As you mentioned, I had just thought about it yesterday that it’s true with babies, but you know that can be true with marriages too.

There is often not a convenient time to get married, although you’re going to want to get married. But we see today so many of them waiting till they’ve got this together and that together and they think, “Oh we better wait for this time because it will work out better then.”

So they arrange their marriage all around situations and circumstances when really, it’s a bit like having a baby. When God brings a couple together and you know its God (I’m not just talking about any situation), you know it’s God and the parents know its God, why wait around?

When we go back to Biblical times, they didn’t do that. They didn’t do what’s even happening in the Christian church today where couples will wait and wait and wait and what for? They’ve got to finish their college degree. They’ve got to finish that, do that, and wait for that.

No, that’s not how it’s meant to be. If God brings you together, He brings you together to be married.

Two are better than one. Two are more powerful than one. Can you imagine? What you accomplish as a husband and a wife and a family is so much more powerful than just on your own.

We all find that the power in a marriage and a family is how God intends it. This is how we take dominion of the world for Him to bring His revelation and the image of God into the world.

AH: That’s right. I think our culture is very big on speaking to women to have, especially in our later years, our forties, to have “me”-time.

You hear a lot about “me”-time and having relationships with other women whose children are about half grown.

I’m seeing a huge trend in this and I try to be careful because I think to have girls as friends is wonderful. It’s great to have good girl friends but I’m also seeing a trend in divorces later in marriage.

I really think there is a connection there between “me”-time and hanging out with other girls, not with other married couples. Maybe the conversation goes to being negative towards their husband.

I can’t even imagine right now having “me”-time because I am just so absorbed with my family. I think that having idle hands isn’t a good thing. It’s very clear in the Bible.

Being busy and being busy with your family and being pregnant and that kind of thing is almost like it’s saved me from a lot of what I’m seeing. I just recently had someone contact me. The wife is being unfaithful to him and they’ve been married about as long as we have.

I was thinking, “How could this happen?”

Well, she has two children that they had early in their marriage and she basically has spent the latter part in their marriage focusing on herself. She takes care of herself and her body. Again, I think there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. We shouldn’t be walking around looking frumpy and say, “Well all I care about is my family.”

You can have both. You can look nice and you have can have a nice-looking house and not be self-absorbed.

NC: That is so true.

You said before about how people ask Facebook questions. There is another question that I saw coming up on Facebook from a girl that I know very well, and she asked Facebook. Like you said, they don’t know who they really are asking because they have so many friends on Facebook.

She asked, “Now what do you think: is it okay to have a friend of the opposite sex apart from your husband?”

Well, goodness me, when I read that all my red flags went up and I was ready to write, and I did. I really laid down the riot axe and said, “No! You cannot do that!”

But just about every other reply was, “Oh yes, that’s fine. You can do that.”

No you cannot. It does not work.

I find that Colin’s and my friendships are with other couples and other families. It’s just so rich and so wonderful. There may be the odd time where I go out with other ladies; but really it is not as satisfying because we’re in a different realm now.

These women have to have their “ladies’ nights out” and their weekends away with their lady friends, I think, what is wrong with their marriage? Isn’t it more exciting to be at home with your husband? Oh goodness me, and when they are doing that, as you say, often someone who has negativity about their marriage will say something.

I have always found that when someone says a negative word about something or maybe about their husband or about some situation or some person, do you know what happens? That negativity builds. You will find that someone else will think of a negative thing about their husband. Then someone else does and the whole conversation goes spiraling down negatively.

It’s just something that happens whereas if you say something positive you will find that people will think of a positive thing to say.

AH: That is so true because we want to encourage one way or the other.

NC: Yes and it does happen that way. I’ve had to learn myself: “Oh shut your mouth, Nancy!”

If you can’t say anything positive, don’t say anything at all because one negative goes from another to another to another and the opposite happens in the positive. This happens, I think, with some of the ladies’ nights out. It can go to the negativity about marriages.

Once again, every decision we make we must think: Will this build my marriage? Will it make my marriage stronger or will it weaken my marriage?

We choose to do what will build our marriage, don’t we?

AH: It’s so true and I think we’re careful about who our children play with, but sometimes I think we’re not so careful of who we hang out with.  I think that’s why it is so important that we be careful who we hang out with.

That’s why we would like to invite everybody to the family camp because even though it is only a weeklong, those friendships that you will make will last for years.

It is so helpful in our marriages and in our family life to have other friends who will say, “I think it’s awesome that you’re pregnant at 45!” That’s encouraging instead of hearing, “Oh my goodness, what are you thinking?”

NC: Tell me, you’re in your mid-forties and how is this pregnancy in your mid-forties compared to your other pregnancies when you were younger?

AH: I honestly, and I’m not just saying this, because you and I haven’t rehearsed this at all, but it’s probably been the easiest. It’s honestly because I have so much help, I really do.

We were talking with your guests here at your house that as our girls get older, it’s kind of embarrassing to say how little amount of cooking and cleaning I do.

I don’t ever use my dishwasher or my laundry room because my girls really have taken over so much of that willingly and happily. Then they delegate. My oldest is very much a delegator.

NC: She’s an organizer like you are.

AH: Yes, yes. But they take care of me. They make sure I’m not doing too much. They really spoil me whereas when you’re young and pregnant and you just have toddlers running around, it’s trying. It’s hard.

So many people quit during the tough times and they don’t reap the benefits.

It’s so neat, my oldest was delivered in the hospital, but she helped deliver the last couple of babies. You can’t appreciate and enjoy that experience if you quit having children in your early thirties.

NC: I think that is so true. I think that so many young mothers, oh dear precious young mothers, if you are in that time with maybe two or three little ones around you and no help, this is the most challenging and overwhelming time of motherhood. Of course even in that time, God is with you and He helps you through it.

I look back to when I had three under 17 months and then four under four; they were the most challenging times. But oh wow, I would do them all again. They were so amazing, too.

Many mothers think, if I keep having children it’s just going to get harder and harder. No!

AH: They don’t stay that little.

NC: No, they grow up!

Often this question comes up at Above Rubies retreats. You know, “What about older mothers having children?”

I say, “Okay, let’s find out from the mothers. Hands up those who have had babies or are having babies in their forties.”

It’s amazing how many will stand up and I will say, “Okay, come and share your testimonies.”

The testimonies are the same as you have shared right now that their best births and their best pregnancies are in their forties. God just puts that beautiful specialness upon older mothers. Plus you have all of the help; your children are grown.

You can sit in the rocking chair while they serve you and look after you. You’re the queen. It’s just so amazing.

AH: If you’ve done it right and you’ve kept your family intact.

I’ve had people say to me, “Well my children would never stay and help me. They’re off with their friends.”

Well then, you’ve got to back up and you’ve got to make sure you have trained them where they want to serve you and it’s not begrudging and they grunt and say, “Oh, I’ve got to get Mom coffee. I just got myself coffee.”

No, they want to. My 15-year-old is just so sweet. She brings me coffee every day and you can tell she looks forward to bringing me coffee. We bought her a fancy coffee maker and she loves to make these coffees.

NC: She’s already been serving everyone here!

AH: Yes, she brought it all the way here!

NC: Yes, she’s just amazing.

I should just say while we are on this point, how that we are, as females, mothers in our childbearing years until we reach menopause. Some reach it earlier than others. The statistics are that many women are infertile by the time they are 45 but some will continue until they are 50.

You think, “Help! Can I have babies till then?” Well yes. We are meant to. If God intended us to stop having babies at 35, He would have caused us to go through menopause then.

But He planned the time. He gives that special anointing to those who are in their forties and as you say, if you train your children right, they are going to be waiting on you and blessing you.

Then you’ve got so many hands who are wanting this baby when the baby is born! Goodness me, you have to nurse your baby, or you’ll never hold your baby because all the family is just besotted with these new babies that come in. It’s just so glorious and it’s how God intended it.

The other thing is, is that now you are getting to the end of that time and you maybe, you may not have another baby; but then your oldest daughter now has a young man and she will be getting married. Then her babies will come along. There are always babies. There is never is never meant to be that empty nest syndrome. That has not ever been in God’s intention.

God’s ways are so beautiful, aren’t they?

AH: And when people will say to us, “Oh the more you have the less time you have and the less love you have to give them.” It’s so, so false.

NC: Some women can only have two children but some women choose to only have two children so they can give them quality time. It actually doesn’t work like that because when you only have two children, well, what are you going to do with your life when they’re grown up? You’ll get bored and go to work and then you end up having less time with them and they become more independent.

But I see these babies that come into big families and every member of the family is besotted with this new baby. They are not only getting the attention from the parents but from all the children in the family. The first and second children can never ever get the attention that these younger babies have. They are overloaded with attention!

It’s amazing, isn’t it?

AH: It’s so true. It’s so true.

NC: Any way, I think we are over time again so let’s pray.

I hope that you have enjoyed us chatting with you today. Let’s think about coming to the family retreat in Florida in April. Check it out on the Above Rubies website: www.aboverubies.org

“Dear Father, We thank You that we can talk about these beautiful things of motherhood and the way You have planned for us to live. It’s so glorious and so beautiful and so amazing.

“Oh Lord, I pray that You will bless each wife and mother and their husbands and their families.

I pray, Lord, that You will strengthen their families and that this year their families will become stronger together.

“Help them to t make it a commitment to gather their families and to daily walk through a little bit more of the land, the glorious land of revelation and truth that You have given to us so that we would not be ignorant people of Your ways, but we will know what You have given to us and that we will possess it. Lord, I ask that we would all be possessors of the land in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

 

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 83 - HOW DO YOU KEEP YOUR FAMILY TOGETHER?

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello dear wives and mothers. Here I am with you again and today I have a guest with me. Well, she’s not a guest. She is one of my wonderful friends, Alison Hartman. Alison was on my podcast way back, about 18 months ago and here they are staying with us again.

In fact they’ve stayed with us since then, but we never got together to do a podcast, did we? But today we’re going to do another podcast together!

Alison and her husband, Daniel, and the family are all here because on Monday they are going off to Israel with Sam and Serene. They had planned to take their two oldest daughters to Israel.

When Sam and Serene heard that they were doing that they said, “Oh we’re going to come with you, and we’ll take our two oldest daughters” because the girls are all about the same age. You’re all going to have such an amazing time.

You’re going to be staying in Jerusalem, aren’t you, and then you’ll be going out from there.

Alison Hartman: Yep.

NC: So wonderful. Well anyway, for those of you who don’t know Alison, Alison is the mother of ten children soon to have number eleven. In fact in March they will be having their eleventh baby.

Let me give you the names of her children. Don’t you love names? I love hearing the names of children, don’t you?

When we get new people coming on the Internet to get Above Rubies for the first time, there is a place for them to put their husband’s name and children’s names if they would like to do that.

Oh, I love it! I will say to my Above Rubies helpers as they are entering the names and doing the magazine for the new person, “Tell me any interesting names because I love to hear them!”

The Hartman children start with Makenna and she is the most amazing girl. How old is she now?

AH: Twenty-one.

NC: Twenty-one now? Oh she is amazing, and she has a lovely young man. God has been so good to bring them together.

Then there is Eden, Halle, Ethan, Asher, Levi, Emily Kate, Anna Lee, Solomon and Ezra.

They are just taking the two oldest girls, so their boys are all going to be staying over at the Allison’s. Those boys are going to be all looking after them selves. I can’t imagine what it will be like!

Even yesterday the boys shot a rabbit. They said the three of them shot it, but I don’t know which one actually did. Anyway, they’re going to have fun together.

I will have all of the Allison girls and the Hartman younger girls here so that will be wonderful. They all just love each other so they will have the most wonderful, wonderful time.

Alison and her husband Daniel have put on Above Rubies family retreats down in Panama City, Florida. This retreat is just the best that you could ever attend. You don’t have to live in Florida because families come from all over the country because they can get to the beach. It’s right on the beach.

It’s so wonderful. It’s in April so if you are up in the colder states and you just want to get some sun before it get’s to you, come down to that retreat.

Make a note of it. Have you got some pen and paper? This year the retreat is the 23rd to the 26th of April.

That’s the weekend, the main part of the retreat. But this retreat has become so popular that some of the families want to come for the whole week just to hang out together. So from Wednesday to Wednesday the 22nd to the 29th you can choose to come for the whole week and just hang out with other wonderful families and at the beach.

Then you are there for the main weekend. Some will just come for the weekend. You have your choice to do whichever you would like.

But you’ve just got to start planning to come. It’s so cool. Alison is the most amazing organizer and she just runs such a great retreat. It’s going to be so cool.

AH: It’s so fun.

NC: What have you got to say about it, Alison?

AH: I completely agree, it is the highlight of our family’s year. We look forward to it and it’s our vacation. Really, if you can agree with me, I think it’s almost become like a youth reunion. All these young people have come together.

NC: Oh yes, we have so many young people. Oh goodness me, when I saw all the young people getting together, I think that there were more young people than there were adults.

AH: I think so. They have so much fun. They don’t do a lot of sleeping. They stay up! But they have so much fun and they’re not just playing volleyball and swimming in the ocean, but they encourage each other and you’re seeing little clusters of them praying for each other.

NC: They go down to the beach praying together at night.

So how many volleyball courts are there?

AH: Oh goodness, probably eight? There’s a lot. We do competitive volleyball tournaments.

NC: Yes, yes, it’s so cool.

In fact, when I was growing up my parents also attended a Christian family camp once a year. It was the highlight of our lives growing up. I can just remember waiting for that camp to get together.

Of course you met people, you would get to know people, and that’s what’s happened with the young people. They have just got to know one another. Like your children are now best friends with all of our grandchildren here and other families.

AH: It’s just so encouraging to find other families that are like-minded because at home most of us don’t have that.

There might be a few families at church you can relate to, but these young people have become friends that my girls will be in their wedding one day. They’re going to be friends for life.

It is the same with me. I have met close friends that I will forever be tight with.

NC: Oh yes, it is so wonderful.

Colin and I, we actually met at this camp(in New Zealand) that we went to every year. So I am a great believer in camps being a great place for young people to find one another because it’s not easy to find a godly wife or a godly husband.

So for young people to come amongst families of kindred spirits, I mean, you know, you just see whatever God does or if He doesn’t, there is just that opportunity. It’s so beautiful.

AH: I think that we’ve had families come from as far away as New Zealand and Canada. Each of them has said, “It might not be next year because of money but we will be back.”

I think there’s just not anything you can do for your family as far as better use of time and money than getting together with twenty to forty other families that you’re really going to connect with and stay in contact with for years to come.

NC: Yes, so anyway, if you’re interested and want to find out more just, go to the Above Rubies website, aboverubies.org and check it out.

You’ll be able to find Alison’s phone number and give her a call or whatever. We just hope you can come! It would be so neat!

AH: They always book up. We have some openings now but every year we’ve filled it up.

NC: So that’s going to be exciting! While you’re here with us, Alison, let me ask you a question. You’re coming up to eleven children. How do you keep eleven children together from all these varying ages, Makenna, 21, right down to the little ones? How do you keep family togetherness? What do you do in your family?

AH: I think that’s just such an important thing, especially even if you have one or two children.

In today’s world it seems like every activity is created to divide the family, whether it’s church, whether it’s meals, whether it’s sports activities. I t see so many families, maybe not even intentionally, but they are just dividing.

Thankfully my husband is very particular about keeping us together. It’s so neat to see the younger ones being loved on by the older ones.

One thing, of course we do, is we have a family business. We literally live together, work together, play together. We’re blessed by the fact that our business has grown that we actually need all hands-on deck when we do our photography business.

When we’re in the middle of our busy season, which would be spring for us. Spring pictures we do live animals and then Christmas. Then we do about forty public and private schools that we have contracts with. So when we’re doing pictures, we literally can’t do it without a crew.

Well, as the girls have gotten older, we have not needed to hire out of family a whole lot. We can pretty much do Christmas and Easter season in house, meaning within our house.

NC: Amazing. Except now you’ve brought Makenna’s young man. He is a blessing, too!

AH: Yes, he is a blessing! He’s going to be even more of a blessing because I’ll have a baby in the middle of our busiest Easter season. For us, we’re about the only photographer in our area that does four different live animals for Easter so we will do about four hundred different photo shoots for about four hundred families.

Well, it’s impossible for me with a newborn to do it all so we’ll definitely need Josiah’s help.

But I get so many compliments on my girls with people saying, “Wow, they do great without you!” which is to me the goal, to clone yourself in your older girls where you can almost let them run it.

But going back to keeping us a unit, we used to go to a big mega church. I felt like every time we’d walk in the door it was like all these signs that were basically separating our family.

“Baby’s go here,” “Toddlers go here,” “Young people go here,” and “Teenagers go here.”

It just didn’t feel right. I know it works for some people but sadly I think most people do it because that’s what they think everybody should do.

NC: I think that sadly most of us become the victims of what everybody else does.

INTENTIONAL IS THE WORD!

AH: Yeah. I think we have to become, go-against-the-flow, kind of moms. You have to be INTENTIONAL about keeping your family together.

IT’S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN ACCIDENTLY.
YOU HAVE TO DELIBERATELY SET UP A SYSTEM IN YOUR HOME
WHERE YOU DON’T GET PULLED APART!

We even have friends who have a big family and they say, “Goodness, it just seems like everybody’s in their own room on their device or with a different friend” or whatever.

Of course, that does happen, but I think as mothers and fathers we have to be deliberate about not letting it happen on a regular basis.

NC: I believe it. I think as you said that word there: INTENTIONAL. You have to be intentional.

We as mothers have such power in the family. Of course I think you know that one of my favorite affirmations is: “Things don’t just happen; you have to make them happen.”

If we just let our family go with the flow and what’s happening and even what’s happening amongst the Christian families, it will just sort of weaken.

Another one of my affirmations (I am thinking of affirmations because I believe affirmations are so powerful) is: When you have to make decisions about something for your family, this is what I say to ask yourself: “Will it weaken the family?”

“IF IT’S GOING TO WEAKEN THE FAMILY, DON’T DO IT.
BUT IF IT WILL STRENGTHEN THE FAMILY AND
KEEP IT TOGETHER, GO FOR IT!”

That’s how we determine what we will do. It’s a very easy decision. Is this going to cause our family to go in all different directions and weaken us as a family unit? Or, is it going to keep us together and strengthen it?

So you do what’s going to strengthen it. If it’s going to weaken it, forget it, even if it is what everybody else is doing.

Are we just going to be mothers who are victims?

Today so many of our young people are victims to society but we as parents become victims. We are victims to just what everybody else is doing. I believe we need to rise up as mothers of strength and purpose and vision and know what we want for our families and make it happen.

AH: Right.

NC: We do that which is going to keep them together, strengthen and build it. Amen?

AH: I think so many moms lately want to befriend their children, which there is nothing wrong with wanting to be friends with our children. My girls and I are the best of friends. But I try not to make decisions based on whether they’re going to like me.

You and I have talked a lot about cell phones and Internet and social media. I really think that’s one of the biggest problems in our families today and not just in public school or un-churched homes.

I’m talking Christian homes and Christian school young people are literally having their identity become what people think of them in social media. Their communication, their interaction, their relationships are completely based on their device. They have friends with people that the really don’t know. They are just “friends” with them.

I have a brother whose asking me, “What do you think about a cell phone?”

To me, I thought his children were too young. He opted for a flip-phone, which I was quite impressed because you can be a little more careful with your children with an old-school flip phone.

Like you and I were saying, even as adults I think it’s hard to have self-control with a cell phone and a smart phone and so how can we expect our little ones to not have self-control if we aren’t?

I’ve seen them in these public schools we do photo shoots at. They are in the second grade and walking around with a $900 smart phone.

NC: Truly? Are they allowed to do that in public schools?

AH: A lot of them. The teachers can’t say anything. It just depends on the state and it seems like the county we’re in depends on the school.

I’ll even say, “Wow, you guys are allowed to have your phones out?”

They’ll say, “Oh my teachers don’t care.”

NC: Really? So how do they even teach them when they’re most probably looking at their phones?

AH: They do it in the name of . . . “Oh it’s safety to be able to get a hold of your parents.”

But what did we do growing up? We went to the office and called our parents if we needed them. It wasn’t this unlimited access to the Internet.

You go to a restaurant and see this family of however many or even a couple. Almost eight out of ten of them are primarily on their phones, separated from each other. They may look like they are together, but they are all doing different things.

NC: They are completely separated.

AH: Again, it’s something that I struggle with and so I can’t imagine if I gave my 13-year-old boy a cell phone.

NC: How do you do it in your family?

AH: My 21-year old obviously has a phone but I completely trust her integrity.

My 17-year-old has a phone.

I have a rule that if I say, “Hand me your phone” they have to hand it to me at any moment and I have to check everything.

My 15-year-old and under do not have one and in our circle of friends that’s even unusual that they don’t have one. Every now and then we’ll run into a family that says ”My teenagers don’t have one either” and it’s like, “Yes, yes! We’re the same way!”

One thing that influenced me a lot in this area was we went to a conference a couple of years ago and Josh McDowell, who is a well known speaker and author, said that he speaks all over the world and parents ask him a very common question.

They will say, “At what age, Josh, should I get my child a smart phone?” and they’re genuinely asking.

His answer to them is, “As soon as you’re ready for them to be looking at pornography.”

So if you’re ready for your eight-year-old to be looking at pornography, then get them a smart phone because that’s most likely what’s going to happen. They may not even mean to.

I remember we were researching something about weight boarding because we were looking at some equipment to buy for our boat and pornography popped up just by typing in something water sport related.

It was amazing. We were like, “Whoa! This is awful!”

Thankfully, we were sitting by the computer and were able to turn it off quickly but a 10 or 13-year-old, they don’t have the good judgment yet.

Even good children that you’re trying to raise well, I can’t see them making a good decision. I can’t even see 13- year-old making a good decision and thinking, “Hmm, --this is probably not what I need to be looking at.”

Maybe they would but why take that chance?

So my answer would be never.

NC: You need to have some maturity.

I have here Chalice, my beautiful granddaughter who is recording for us at the moment.

You’ve only recently gotten an iPhone, haven’t you? How recently did you get your iPhone? You just used the family one before that didn’t you?

Chalice Allison: Five months ago.

NC: Yes. So here she is, twenty-year-old girl . . .

CA: Nineteen.

NC: Nineteen, just coming up on twenty years old and she’s just got her own.

CA: I didn’t want one.

NC: And you didn’t even want it! Yes. I actually can remember about six years ago when Colin and I were ministering in the UK taking meetings there.

We went to each United Kingdom country and we took Chally with us. She was only 14 then. It was such a delight to have her with us.

One day I was sitting on the bed, preparing for a message and I was going to talk about social media. I remember, but you may not remember, Chally, but I said to you, “Now Chalice, you’ve got your iPad for your school work there and you know, what would you do if something came up that was bad? What have your parents said to do?”

I’ll never forget her response. It just came out of her. She didn’t think. She just said, “Oh Nana, I would vomit! I would be horrified!”

I thought that was so amazing because it was as though she had something there inside her. It wasn’t that she had something there from the outside; it was in her, that she would be repulsed.

I think our children have got to get that. A lot of parents will put perimeters on their iPhones and stuff for their children and that’s good. But the most powerful protection is what they have on the inside.

I think that comes from us as parents because the Bible talks about abhorring that which is evil and loving that which is good (Romans 12:9).

We have to have that attitude as parents. There is something about us that abhors evil. We don’t just tolerate it and say, “Well that’s not very good.”

No, when there is evil or we hear about something that is obnoxious and abominable to God we will state it and say, “Yes, God hates that! It’s a slap in the face to God! We don’t want anything to do with that!”

We are adamant and we are passionate about hating evil.

I think somehow our children can get that in their spirits. Inside there is a hate for evil. As Chalice said as a young girl then, “Oh, I would vomit!”

I think that’s important. It’s sad to say that I don’t even see that a lot in the general sort of Christian young people today. They don’t seem to have that. They’re caught up in the world.

There has to be something if so many have iPhones (and so many have them) that they know how to use them, but as you were saying, even us as adults . . . Now I know myself. I am so passionate for the Word of God. I love the Word. I live in the Word. I love to have my Bible and read it.

I also read it on my iPhone because I have my Strong’s Concordance app, which I love because I can look up any word in the Hebrew and Greek. I am using it all the time.

But when I first wake in the morning, what do I do? I have to make this happen. When I first turn my iPhone on, I have to go to the Word. Now, there are so many temptations because, “Ding, ding, ding!”

These crazy messages come in and I think, “Boy, I better check that message.”

Do you know, it takes all my self-control to say, “NO. I’m going to have the Word first”?

AH: That’s so good.

NC: Now, okay, that comes from maturity and from my absolute passionate love for the Word. What about the young people who have not got that maturity yet?

They can say, “Oh well, I’ll read the Bible on my iPhone.”

They go to read it and, “Ding, ding, ding!” Messages and this and that are coming from everywhere and they are just going to be pulled apart.

Today, goodness me, we just somehow let things take over, don’t we?

I hate it how everybody brings their iPhones to church to read their Bibles now, because I know that they’re not all reading their Bibles.

Usually I’m sitting in the front seat because I’m a front-seater. I believe in being in the front because you sit at the back and you’re just looking around.

But on the odd occasion where I come in late and I’m sitting in the back I will do some observing.

Oh my. It’s horrific. I see people and they haven’t got the Word open. They are looking at messages, looking at Facebook, looking at all their stuff IN CHURCH!

It is abominable. I just wish we could get back to everybody bringing their Bibles. They are opening up their Bibles and they won’t be tempted.

It’s not that they are bringing their iPhones to do it but it’s all those dings and bells and messages coming through and they are so tempting.

AH: Notifications, yeah.

NC: Yes.

AH: You know the creator of these iPhones; they do have that in the back of their mind. This is very purposeful.

NC: It is such a distraction. If we as mature adults have to fight those distractions, what about our children?

Even as our children are getting older the time comes when in this world, because it’s just part of life, that we do have to teach our children how to learn to use cell phones.

I use mine as a tool, a tool to get out the truth because they are getting out so much junk and deception and lies and stuff that is so anti-God on social media today. Why can’t we, as God’s people, get out the truth? If we can use it as a tool like that and you see it as a tool to get that out, but who does that? Very, very few people do.

I think we can even teach our young people to do that. They can begin to write stuff that’s standing up for truth and get it out on their Facebook pages. They can share stuff that’s good and powerful.

We don’t just give them an iPhone. When they get to the age when they can have one, we prepare them so that they know how to use it and how to have discipline.

AH: I think everything in our family should look different. Not necessarily for difference sake but we should teach our children to be against the flow and not be followers but be leaders.

To me it’s encouraging when I see a young person that’s sharing a Scripture or sharing something that’s encouraging on social media because so many posts are so negative and destructive.

It can be used for the good. I mean, we couldn’t do our business without social media.

Going back to something you had said about keeping the family together and if it’s destructive to the family then don’t do it, I just thought of a couple of things that typically you think would separate the family but, in our situation, we’ve tried to make it the opposite.

Sports, in most family’s world, would be a very divisive activity. You would have one child on a soccer field, and you have another on a volleyball court at the same time.

Mom is grabbing dinner with one and Dad is grabbing dinner with the other and you just constantly are all over the place. Some families even do year-round sports where they’re literally in a sport all the time.

Some families have said, “We’re just not doing any sports and anyone who does sports is wrong.”

We have a couple of daughters that are really talented in volleyball and some boys who are really good in soccer and they enjoy it.

We have tried to look at it as how can that bring our family together and it literally has.

We go to every single game as a family. You can’t miss us at these games! We have our children, we have our bananas, and thermoses, and we show up and you can’t miss us being there!

NC: You show up with your Pro-life shirts on!

AH: Yes, yes, we have our “Choose life” shirts on!

NC: Alison designed a Pro-life T-shirt. On the front it says, “Choose life” and on the back it says, “A person is a person no matter how small.”

I love seeing when you come as a family and everyone has a shirt on. In fact, you can contact Alison and get your family sized up! She’s got a shirt for every size.

AH: Yep, every size.

And so we made volleyball become a family sport. We put a court in our backyard. We play as a family, and we go to games as a family.

NC: Actually, we put in a volleyball court here at our place about 18 months ago.

AH: You had to keep up with the Florida people!

NC: Then you guys came up not long after we put it in. It was July 4th. Of course you are really into volleyball and all of our grandchildren were just getting into it. Of course they didn’t like getting beaten by the Floridians, so they really had to practice.

But I think it was one of the best things we did here. Then you guys went home and put a court in!

During the spring, summer, and fall I can look out here at night and because we have lights out there on the court, I can see the young people out here on the hilltop playing till ten o’clock at night, out there playing together.

It is so wholesome and so wonderful.

AH: There’s no reason why you can’t do things like that as a family. Even if the dad is not as good as it as the children there is no reason that you can’t do that as a family.

I think families that play together stay together.

NC: Most of our families here don’t actually GO to sports.

AH: Well you guys live so far from everything!

NC: I know, we do but they PLAY sports. They play volleyball but if they’re not playing that they’re playing soccer on the field or they’re playing other things. They are doing sports together all the time.

You don’t have to do it the way everybody does it. We are so victims.

I think we have to get out of the victim mentality of just thinking, “Okay, this is what you do” and you don’t have to.

There are other ways and you can think of other ideas. The thing is keeping your family together. That is the thing.

AH: I see a lot of families rarely eating meals together. That’s something again, going back to the word INTENTIONAL, that isn’t easy. There is nothing easy about it.

I had a client write to me a couple months ago and say, “I see your family always together on Facebook. I’m so envious of that.”

I asked her a few questions about what she lets her children do. She would have to make a lot of changes she may not be willing to make.

You may have to take that iPhone from your 10-year old. You may have to stop some friendships that they’re pouring themselves into. You may have to purposefully have a family dinner.

Our family dinners don’t look like everyone else’s. We’re not sitting at home and baking bread and then sitting down to the meal. Sometimes it looks very different than other families, but we almost always have dinner all together. That’s something that my husband is really, really firm about.

NC: He makes it happen.

AH: Yeah, you have to make it happen.

It may be at ten o’clock at night or it may be at four o’clock at night because you’re all leaving at different times but he feels like, and I feel like you have to, like you said, make it happen.

NC: I think I talked about this last week when I was talking about table tips. That’s one law that we have in our families that we don’t allow. If there are iPhones in the family, you don’t bring them to the family meal table.

They are such a competition and such an interruption, too, to our family togetherness.

AH: Again, you can look like you’re together but you’re not together.

NC: And that’s the wonderful thing about the table. It’s the drawing together. It’s not just the eating of the meal but it’s the fellowship together, isn’t it?

I hope that you remembered that from last week and perhaps you are making that a part of your meal table, too, that you don’t have iPhones there.

Anyway, time is coming to an end in this session, but I’d like to do another session.

AH: I think in summary of that segment was just the things that typically will bring the family apart, you can use those same things to bring your family together.

You don’t have to make the excuse of, “Oh, we can’t have dinner together” or “My children play sports” or “We go to church.”

No, you can use those same activities to bring your family together.

NC: Amen.

“Lord God, We thank You that we can chat together about these things and that although we are chatting here, we are coming into the homes of all these precious families.

“I pray Your blessing upon them today, that the things that we’re sharing will be an encouragement to them and You will pour out Your Spirit upon all these precious wives and mothers.

“I pray that You will put a new strength in them and a new vision and anointing to do what is right, to strengthen and build and keep their families together. Help them to be strong to say no to all the things that weaken families today.

“Lord, I pray that You will make them strong, anointed, and godly mothers in the midst of this deceived world in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

The previous podcasts where Allison shared:

No. 9
POUND YOUR STAKES DEEP!
Introducing Allison Hartman from Florida. Allison and her husband, Daniel have 10 children and run a family business. We talk about how she fits this all together and how keeping the family together is their greatest goal as parents.

One of the most powerful things we can do to build our nation is to strengthen our marriages and family lives. In every decision and plan we make in our family lives we should first of all think: Will this strengthen our family life, or will it fragment our family life? We must get into the habit of choosing what strengthens the family.

No. 10
ARE YOU RAISING YOUR CHILDREN TO SPEAK?
Allison Hartman and her 19-year-old daughter speak with me on this podcast. Allison shares how she and her husband managed to get out of debt and build a debt free home. McKenna speaks about her life in a big family and how she has built strong convictions into her life.

We talk about raising children to speak in the gates. Dear mothers, we are not only feeding and clothing our children. We have a huge task raising them to speak—speak clearly, speak with conviction, and speak with boldness, and who will one day be ready to speak with the enemies in the gates! Children who will know how to stand when they face the enemy, and “having done all, to stand” (Ephesians 6:13). Be inspired as you listen.

No. 88
LIFE, DEATH, COURTING, WEDDINGS, AND A TRIP TO ISRAEL!
The Hartman and Allison families are home from their great trip to Israel. Allison Hartman shares about their life-changing trip and how it can affect our lives.