WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO CLEAVE?
Part 2

“Draw me, we will run after thee . . .”
(Song of Songs 1:4).

Now that we have learned how important it is to leave, we must discover what it truly means to cleave. This Hebrew word dabaq is translated by 10 different English words in the King James Bible. As we look at each one, we come to a greater understanding of how to cleave.

1.     CLEAVE

This is the word that is used in the King James Bible in Genesis 2:24. It means “to cling to, to adhere to, to be stuck to, to hold fast, and to be joined.” Most modern translations used the word “united” which I don’t think is as strong as cleave.

            I love the quote of John Piper who wrote: “There has never been a generation whose view of marriage is high enough.” I believe this is true. I don’t think any of us understand the fullness  and glory of God’s estimate of marriage. God speaks of being married to Israel and uses “cleave” to reveal this relationship between Him and His people Israel, and in the New Testament of Christ and His bride, the church.

            Let’s look at some Old Testament Scriptures. As you read them, relate the words to your marriage.

            Deuteronomy 10:20: “Thou shalt fear the LORD thy God, him shalt thou serve, and to him shalt thou cleave.” Read also Deuteronomy 11:21, 22 and 30:19, 20.

            Deuteronomy 13:4: “Ye shall walk after the LORD your God, and fear him, and keep his commandments, and obey his voice, and ye shall serve him, and cleave unto him.” Go back and read this Scripture again. Did you notice six things God wants us to do toward Him?

            Notice six things again in Joshua 20:5: “But take diligent heed to do the commandment and the law . . . to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments, and to cleave unto him, and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul.” Did you count six?

             Jeremiah 13:11 tells us: “For as the girdle cleaveth to the loins of a man, so have I caused to cleave unto me the whole house of Israel and the whole house of Judah, saith the LORD; that they might be unto me for a people, and for a name, and for a praise, and for a glory.” This is the relationship God wanted with His people Israel. This is the relationship God wants us to have in our marriage. When we cleave to one another in marriage, we reveal the picture of our relationship with God and Christ. And when we live this lifestyle, our marriages will be a praise and glory to God in this world.

2.     OVERTOOK

Judges 18:22 tells how the Israelites pursued the Benjaminites and “overtook” them in the battle. How did they overtake them? They had to chase after them. I can’t imagine them idling along as though they were out for a Sunday School picnic. They chased after them with every ounce of their strength. Now ladies, this is the same word that is used for our marriage relationship.

            We are to chase after our husbands with love, kindness, and ministering help to them.

3.     PURSUED

We read this word again in the battle of Benjamin and the rest of Israel. Judges 20:45 tells us that they “pursued hard after them.” That day they killed 25,000 Benjaminites that were all men of valor.

4.     FOLLOWED HARD

This is the third word for dabaq that is used in the context of battle.

            1 Samuel; 14:22 tells how the men of Israel “followed hard” after the Philistines in battle and defeated them.    

            1 Samuel 31:2; 2 Samuel 1:6; and 1 Chronicles 10:2 tell the sad story of how the Philistines “followed hard upon Saul and upon his sons.” This time the Israelites were defeated, and Saul and his three sons were killed.

            David, who was one of the greatest warriors of all time used the same analogy of chasing the enemy for his passion for chasing after God. In Psalm 63:8 he says: “My soul followeth hard after thee.”

Are you getting the picture of what it really mans to cleave? It is not a casual thing. When warriors “follow hard” after the enemy, they exert every ounce of their physical strength and mental concentration. Their adrenaline pumps. The sweat pours off them. They are not thinking of another thing except to defeat the enemy.

            We learn two things from these words. Firstly, we must be vigilant in pursuing the devil and his cohorts who want to bring down and defeat our marriages. The devil hates marriage. He wants to break up your marriage. But you must be alert. Pounce on any suggestion the enemy brings to your mind to weaken your marriage. Go hard after the enemy and kick him out.

            1 Peter 5:8 says: “Be sober, be vigilant; be because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist steadfast in the faith . . .”

            Secondly, on the positive side, we must “follow hard” after our spouse. Do you notice that it doesn’t say to follow, but to follow hard? Does your love feel a little cold in your marriage? Chase after your husband with love and devotion. Think of new and creative ways to show your love to him. Exert every bit of your physical and mental strength. Pursue him like a warrior in battle.

PRAYER:

“Oh God, I am sorry for taking my marriage lightly. Please help me to understand how You see marriage. Please help me and show me how to chase after my husband with tangible ways of loving him. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I am not settling for an average marriage. I’m pursuing my husband with all my mind and strength.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO LEAVE AND CLEAVE?

 “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother,
and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh”
(Genesis 2:24).

To be married, we must do three things: leave, cleave, and become one flesh.

We are going to discover what it truly means “to cleave.” However, before we can cleave, we must first leave. The word “leave” is azab and means “to loosen, relinquish, forsake.” This doesn’t mean that we forget about our parents. We continue to enjoy a loving and close relationship with them. However, we must understand that when we get married, we begin a new family.

The husband is now responsible to provide for his wife. He doesn’t rely on his parents to provide for her. He must leave the dependence upon his parents for provision to “man up,” work hard, and provide for his new wife and coming family. The wife no longer relies upon her parents for provision, but upon her husband. He is now her provider and protector. She now looks to her husband for her needs instead of her parents.

She no longer looks to her parents for protection and leadership. She looks to her husband and he must rise up to take this privilege and responsibility.

Both leave behind their single lives which have often been motivated by selfishness. The young husband cannot do what he likes when he likes any longer. He is responsible for his wife—and preparing to provide for children to come. And if the couple are not thinking about coming children, they are not yet ready for marriage.

The couple leaves behind their single socialness. Of course, they will enjoy friendships with other couples and families, but never again will they go on a date, or even for a cup of coffee with a friend of the opposite sex. Marriage is “forsaking all others.” There are too many couples who think they can spend time on their own with the opposite sex. It never works. It destroys the marriage. When you get married you are no longer two PEOPLE , but one (Matthew 19:5).

The couple will no longer hang out with their single friends in the way they did before. They leave behind this lifestyle. It is a new lifestyle. Once again, it doesn’t mean they will discard their old friends. They can invite them to a meal at their home, but they won’t spend time “hanging out” with them when they could be with their spouse.

When a new baby is born, someone cuts the umbilical cord so the baby can be released to grow into its new life in this world. When a daughter or son marry, they also must cut the umbilical cord to their parents so they can experience the fulness of their new life as a married couple.

 We must leave when we begin the marriage, but I believe we continue leaving all throughout our marriage. We make the decision to leave when other relationships could take precedence over our marriage relationship. If friendships with others are overclouding our marriage relationship, we step back and leave!

It can often be a temptation when difficult financial times arise in a marriage to go back to wealthy parents. But once again, we must remember that we have left! Of course, many parents will help their married children financially, but even when they bless us, we must remember that our dependence is not upon them. We can continue to be blessed by their words of encouragement and wisdom into our lives, but they no longer have the right to dominate or exercise final authority.

When you face a dilemma in your marriage, you will often know the answer by adhering to the “leave and cleave” truth. For example, “Do I need to leave this situation or relationship? If it is going to weaken your “cleaving relationship” in any way, the answer is to leave. “Will becoming involved in this organization or group weaken my “cleaving relationship” with my husband?” If so, don’t do it. “If I do this thing, will it help me to cleave more to my husband?” If not, don’t do it. Get the picture?

It is very interesting to note that when God established this principle of “therefore shall a man leave his father and mother,” there was yet no father and mother on the earth! God was laying down His foundation of truth for marriage for all future generations.

This message is so important that Jesus emphasized it again in Matthew 19:4-6 and Paul revealed the truth again in Ephesians 5:22-33. Paul spoke of marriage as the great mystery of revealing the relationship of Christ and His beloved bride, the church. Verses 31 and 32 say: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.”

When we come to Christ, we leave behind our old life, our old relationships, and our old ways. We are now joined to Christ and one with Him. We have entered a new kingdom, the kingdom of Christ, and we embark on living a totally new lifestyle. Our marriage relationship pictures this great truth. How important that we do not disfigure this beautiful picture.

Blessings from Nancy Campbell

www.aboverubies.org

PRAYER:

‘Thank You, dear Father, that marriage is Your design. You chose this earthly way of revealing your heavenly and ultimate plan of the marriage of Jesus Christ to His bride, the church. Please help me to live in such a way that I show a true example of this truth through our marriage. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I joyfully leave any situation or any organization that weakens cleaving to my husband.

BETTER IS THE END

“Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof”
(Ecclesiastes 7:8).

It’s easy to embark on a new vision or project with a “hiss and a roar.” But as time goes on, our enthusiasm wanes. Sometimes we peter out altogether. I understand this in the ministry of Above Rubies which I began over 41 years ago with a heavy vision from God upon my heart. I could not have not done it! But I realized as I began the journey that it is perspiration that keeps something going. Someone once said that a vision is often “One percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration.” True. It doesn’t happen without daily plodding and faithfulness.

It is the same with the greatest institutions of life—marriage and family. God ordained these powerful foundations before church, before government, and before schools. Because they are God ordained, we don’t stop half-way through. We dare not stop before the finishing line. It’s all the way to the end.

Ecclesiastes 7:8 says: “Better is the end of a thing than the beginning thereof.” It’s not so much how we start, but how we end.

Perhaps you didn’t get a good start to your marriage. Or even with motherhood. You came into motherhood unprepared and not knowing what you were doing. Don’t despair. I know you are learning as you go. You are mothering better with each baby God gives you. You grow stronger as you mother. Remember, it’s not so much the beginning but the end that counts.

Keep pressing on. Keep seeking God for the way He wants you to be a wife and mother. Always keep learning. And keep fighting the fight of faith. Keep on until the end.

JESUS finished His work. He confessed in John 4:34: “My meat is to do the will of him that sent me, and to finish His work.” He said again in John 17:4: “I have finished the work which thou gavest me to do.”

PAUL also made these same confessions. Acts 20:24: “But none of these things move me (the fact they he was going to face prison and afflictions), neither count I my life dear unto myself, so that I might finish my course with joy, and the ministry which I have received of the Lord Jesus.”

What is the ministry you have received from God? If He has graciously given you children, this is your greatest ministry at hand—to nurture and train them. And it’s not only when our children are young, but mothering extends to the end of our days. We are always a mother. When our children grow up and leave the nest, we become an older mother to younger mothers and we are always available for our grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Paul confesses again in 2 Timothy 4:7: “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Let’s look at this Scripture a little more closely.

1. Paul FOUGHT THE GOOD FIGHT.

We are certainly in a fight for families in our nations today, aren’t we? Because the family is God’s idea, the enemy is out to destroy it. Because motherhood is
God’s ultimate plan for women, the devil hates it and wants to destroy it.

In this hour of history, we face a fierce fight. Feminism, humanism, the media, and public education have brainwashed the majority of women to think that motherhood is insignificant and unworthy of their time. Because we know this is deception, we fight against the tide. We will not give in. We will fight a good fight. We fight on the side of life. We embrace our calling because we know it comes from God. We will not only embrace motherhood with all our hearts but fight against the deceptions in our society. We fight to destroy the works of the enemy. 

Nehemiah 4:14: “Be not ye afraid of them: remember the Lord, which is great and terrible (awesome), and fight for your brethren, your sons, and your daughters, your wives, and your houses.”

2. Paul FINISHED THE RACE

This is the important thing. We will not give up until the end. I love to talk about the four watches of motherhood—first, second, third, and fourth. Many mothers flake out in the fourth watch. This is the watch when our children have grown. Many think it is their time to give up pouring out their lives for others and look after themselves. But no, God’s commission is to the older women to teach and encourage the younger women. If we do not do this, we fail the next generation.

3. Paul was FAITHFUL to the end.

The NLT says: “I have remained faithful.” Paul remained faithful through hardships, discouragement, imprisonments, beatings, stonings, shipwrecks, danger, robbings, weariness, painfulness, hunger, thirst, destitution, plus the care of all the churches. Surely, we can remain faithful through the few trials we face.

And never forget, there will be a reward. 2 Timothy 4:8 continues: “Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day, and not to me only, but unto all them also that love his appearing.”

PRAYER:

“Thank You, Father, for wooing me on to the end. I don’t want to stop in the race halfway. I want to be faithful to the end. Please help me each day to be faithful. Faithful in the little things, the mundane things, the ordinary things, for this enables me to be faithful in the big things. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I’m not giving up. I’m going all the way to the end.

Did you know, I am now doing a podcast for you each week called FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell? I know you will be blessed and encouraged. Go to www.aboverubies.org and you’ll see the icon. Or go to http://ARPoddy.buzzsprout.com

LOVE IN YOUR HOME
Part 5

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you,
do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you,
and persecute you; That ye may be the children of your Father which is heaven”
(Matthew 5:44, 45).

1. POURING OUT Love (Romans 5:5).

“God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us” (ESV). Most translations of this Scripture used the words “poured out.” The Holy Spirit pours out God’s love into our hearts, so we can pour it out into the hearts of others.

2. PURE Love (1 Timothy 1:5 and 1 Peter 1:22).

Agape love is love that comes from a pure heart. No ulterior motives. It is love that loves for the ultimate blessing of the other person.

3. REACTIONARY Love (Matthew 5:44, 45).

What does it mean to have reactionary love? It means to react with love—to every vibe, word, or action toward us. Even those that are negative, abusive, or hurtful.

When a glass is bumped, what spills out? Whatever is in the glass! In the same way, what is inside me will immediately spill over. I pray that when I am rubbed up the wrong way, when things don’t go the way I want, and when hurtful words upset me that I would, without having to think about it, respond with love. Automatically react with love.

I don’t always do this, but this is what I want to do because God’s love is poured into me by the Holy Spirit who dwells in me.

When Paul was reviled, he reacted with blessing (1 Corinthians 4:12).

Peter reminds us in 1 Peter 3:9 that when we are insulted and reviled to “pay them back with a blessing” (NLT). The NEB translation tells us to “retaliate with a blessing.” That’s Holy Spirit reaction. That’s the way we pay back people.

Read also Proverbs 20;22; 24:29; and Romans 12:14, 17.

4. SACRIFICIAL Love (1 John 3:16).

“Hereby perceive we the love of God, because he laid down his life for us: and we ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” Jesus revealed pure agape love when He laid down His life for sinners and we who were enemies to God.

In the same way He asks us to lay down our lives for others. Read also Romans 5:8; Ephesians 5:25; and 1 John 3:14. This doesn’t come naturally to us, does it? It’s only when agape kicks in that we can walk in sacrificial love.

5. SERVING Love (Galatians 5:13).

“By love serve one another.” The word serve is doueuo which means “to serve like a slave.” We don’t serve because we are a slave but because we love. Let’s get it straight. Agape love serves! If we don’t want to serve one another, we don’t have love. Much of our ministry as a wife and mother is serving. If we have no delight to serve, we show that we do not really love. Jesus revealed His love by serving and laying down his life. He wants us to follow His example (Mark 10:45; John 13:1-17; 10:28; and Philippians 2:5-8).

6. TRUTHFUL Love (1 Corinthians 13:6).

True love rejoices in the truth and hates evil. True love is not wimpy. It loves unconditionally but does not tolerate evil.

7. WALKING Love (Ephesians 5:2).

“Walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering, and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savor.” To walk in love means wherever you walk. When you come into your kitchen in the morning are you walking love? Do your husband and children feel it and see it wherever you move in your home?

8. UNFAILING Love (1 Corinthians 13:8).

“Love never fails.”

9. UNSELFISH Love (1 Corinthians 13:5).

“Love is not self-serving (NET).”

PRAYER:

“Dear Father, my love is totally inadequate. Thank You so much for Your agape love which is poured out in my heart. Help me to always react with love to every negative situation.  Please help me to be “walking love” in my home. Amen.”

AFFIRMATION:

I am building a love-filled marriage and love-filled home.

P.S. Have you been sharing these 35 love adjectives with your family? If not, start doing it now. We need to put these in action together as a family.

Did you know, I am now doing a podcast for you each week called FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell? I know you will be blessed and encouraged. Go to www.aboverubies.org and you’ll see the icon. Or go to http://ARPoddy.buzzsprout.com