IT’S FOR ETERNITY!

“I could never have that many children, I hate being pregnant.”

“I could never have that many children, my pregnancies are too difficult.”

“I could never have more children, my labors are too long.”

As a mother expecting her eleventh child, I hear these types of things every time I go out the door. I have often romanced such ideas in my own head a time or two. But, when I test my own spirit, I realized these thoughts are not from above, but rather earthly. Recently I had a huge battle with these very thoughts.

You see, I have varicose veins and with each pregnancy they get worse. They are now all the way to my toes! They are very painful by the end of the day and sometimes, even by noon, they throb and I am forced to sit with my foot up.

Sitting with my foot up all of the time isn’t an option when you are caring for a mass of little ones. I have to wonder how bad they will be with the next pregnancy. Will I be able to be on my feet at all?

I also have insomnia with each pregnancy, often only getting three hours of sleep a night. Add to that, a little one that is teething and feverish and wanting to be held 24/7 and you have one very tired lady!

Also, I have had a few long, hard, painful labors myself, so with each pregnancy I wonder if this will be a short, easy one or a long, grueling one? The more I entertain these thoughts, the more I begin telling myself that certainly God would not expect me to continue.

I began pleading with God to remove the mantle of childbearing from me. I prayed that he would give me the okay to go ahead and have my tubes tied. I even told my husband, “He is a God of mercy” trying to convince him that even God would think it was okay. I mean, I have had eleven children, right? I have done my share, right?

In my husband’s wisdom, he said he knew that I would regret doing something like that. I knew he was right, but still I prayed.

Sunday morning came and during worship, (I was not worshipping but rather pleading with God yet again for a release from childbearing--AFTER this new blessing is born, of course.)

While I was praying, the worship team talked about eternity and how this life is nothing compared to that. Then, it clicked.

Each child we have has eternal impact! How do I know if this baby, or the next, will lead many to Christ, or if one of their children will?

Even if just one person is led to the Lord because of one of these children, it will have been worth it. Who am I to decide that I am done with this? And all because of a sore leg!

Suddenly, a few months of pain seemed like nothing in light of eternity! I also realized that I had not been believing in so many Scriptures that tell us that things here will be hard, but we are to continue on with our eyes on Jesus.

I am to be like Him and He did not shy away from the cross because it might be hard or painful. In fact, we are told to “Look to Jesus, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross.” (Romans 12:2) I am so thankful he didn’t say, “Oh, I couldn’t do that, it might be painful.” “I couldn’t do that, it might take hours.” Eternity would have been lost to me if He had done that!

I am again enjoying my pregnancy and seeing eternal value in what I am doing. I am looking at my children in a new light, seeing how precious they are, not only to me but to God as well. Oh how blessed I am! I am SO thankful that He has allowed me to nurture them for His Kingdom.

I hear many women say they can’t have more because of (insert discomfort here…). Ladies, please, think in terms of eternity, not in terms of these few months. We are talking about souls, the soul of your unborn child and the souls that he/she could touch. A few months of your life is nothing compared to that.

2 Corinthians 4:16-18 says, “Therefore, we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, our inward man is being renewed day by day. For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are unseen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.”

Also: Romans 8:18, “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed to us.”

Lets keep our eyes on eternity, not on this world, which is passing away.

VICKI DAVIS
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Washed Clean!

My husband and I were married in January 1972 and became Christians when I was pregnant with our second child. We had never really discussed how many children we wanted but as I was from a family of nine and my husband from a family of five, we were used to big families.

After we had our first three children in three years, we didn’t feel right about using the pill but started to use Natural Family Planning. We tried to avoid having too many more children too quickly.

We had another child after three and a half years, then one after four years, then three more with approximately two year gaps. At this point, I felt tired of having sick pregnancies (the last three I had felt sick a lot of the time) and going through the hard work of labour. I also felt I had my hands full, let alone the thought of having anymore.

I clearly remember one day when our seventh child was a few months old and the next one was nearly two years. I was trying to get the washing hung out on the line. I had put the baby and toddler down for a sleep, but the baby woke again! I thought, ‘No way could I manage anymore children, I can barely manage what I have!’

My Godly husband had always felt children were a blessing from the Lord and was not keen on our doing something permanent to stop having more. This left me seriously praying "Lord ,Your will in all areas, but I don’t think I could manage more children--HELP! "

God is so amazing the way He works. One day, soon after, I was listening to Focus on the Family. The speaker was a man with 10 children and I was interested in how he managed his children. Little did I know how my life would change.

He started talking about how there is a pro-abortion spirit in the church, i.e., lots of people would not have an abortion as such but they try to organize their life to have as few children as possible or only when it suits them. They are not open to God’s blessing of new life when He wants to give it.

“Oh boy, that is me,” I thought. Sure, I have seven children but a lot of my time and energy has gone into trying to avoid having too many. At that point, under conviction of the Holy Spirit, I knelt down in the middle of the lounge. I wept and wept and asked forgiveness for a pro-abortion spirit.

I never heard the rest of his message but heaps of tears later I felt washed and clean. It was the second most powerful spiritual experience I have had after being born again.

After that, I saw the Scriptures in a new light. I  realised what a privilege it is to carry, bring to birth and raise up a child. I got a small glimpse of God’s will regarding children and realised what an honour and privilege it would be if God were to bless us with more children.

My husband was shocked at my change of heart! I think he was concerned we might have 20 children, but together we committed it to the Lord for His will to be done.

I was 41 at the time and was so excited at the prospect of new life! Each time my period was late but did not end in a pregnancy, I was so disappointed.

My friends thought I was mad. Finally,  after two years I was pregnant and oh the joy. Despite a very sick pregnancy and a very difficult labour, I had such a sense of being in His will.

This baby was such an affirmation of my motherhood. Realising what a privilege it was to be entrusted by God with a new life to raise for His glory was so encouraging for me.

When I was 45, God opened my womb again. He also answered my prayer to have a homebirth. I had always wanted one and this was such an amazing experience. It was my best labour ever. God enabled me to be in control and get strength for the contractions by repeating Scriptures. A few pushes and Caleb was born and still delights us to this day.

God has also enabled me to have enough love to go around and get everything done.  At times my husband and I had to make sure we got enough time for cuddles with the last two as the older children loved them so much and were so good with them.

MAREE
New Zealand
Gary and Maree’s children are Donna, Mark, David, Chris, Benjamin, Sarah, Deborah, Isaac and Caleb.

WHY SO MANY?

“Are those all your children?”  At the doctor’s office or the zoo, in grocery aisles or church parking lots, for years I’ve heard this question in every tone from amazement to alarm.  Even with only a slight majority of my twelve in tow, I catch heads turning and traffic stopping.

We never want for conversation.  Our numbers stimulate the curiosity of even the most socially cautious, who want to know how many we have, if we’re Catholic or Mormon, whether they’re all our own,  if we’ve figured out where they came from, and when we’ll be finished having them.

The loudest question usually remains unspoken: Why?

Why, in these days of sensible family planning would parents allow themselves to become so seriously outnumbered?  Why, when so many worry about the cost of providing for a few would we assume the financial burden of raising so many?  Why, in spite of conventional wisdom concerning mutual fulfillment within marriage would we put parenting first?

When my husband Tripp and I came to Christ thirteen years ago, like many latecomers to the Kingdom we were filled with the zeal that makes us fearless, in the world’s eyes foolish, for the Lord.  But where others might have penetrated jungles or climbed mountains to honor the great commission, we opted to fulfill it in the comfort of our home.  We figured with five children, we already had a healthy start.

Since we started our walk with the Lord by racing straight through the Bible, we immediately found enormous encouragement:  Be fruitful and multiply, God said it Himself!  And we reasoned if God had wanted us to aim for only two children, He probably would have told us to add.  Multiplying sounded like a more serious proposition.  But we figured that if this was what He wanted, He must have a plan to keep food on their plates and shoes on their feet.

Then there was Psalm 127:4-5, which told us our children were like arrows, and parents with a quiver full would never be ashamed.

I held onto that verse and was not ashamed when other believers questioned the wisdom of our ever-expanding tribe.  Zero Population Growth fanatics have nothing over Christian zealots who put us through this third degree: “But what about your ministry?  What about your spiritual gifts?  How can the Lord use you when you’re so busy raising children?”

Then I’d wonder about Susannah Wesley, mother of nineteen, including John (#15) and Charles (#17).  Or Mrs. Edwards, mother of Jonathan (last of eleven), or Mrs. Finney, mother of Charles (seventh).  Did those megamoms have well-meaning mentors like mine?

As the first Christians in either of our family lines, Tripp and I drew inspiration from families we met who had served the Lord for generations.  We sensed something missing in latecomers like us, something that our children and our children’s children would eventually come to possess.  We saw our family as a turning point, a chance to claim new territory for Christ.  So wasn’t it wise to stake as much ground as possible?

As baby followed baby, we found being fruitful to be the easy part.  More demanding was allowing God to shape us into the Christian parents He wanted us to be.  It meant running a pretty serious race, always pushing ourselves to know our Bible better and to live our faith more fully.

Key to our enjoyment of it all has been this: Tripp and I never saw parenthood as being in conflict with our marital fulfillment.  Though this flies in the face of pop (even Christian-pop) psychology, we can’t help but note that for countless cultures and centuries, date nights were not a critical element in marriage.  Far from threatening the thrill of our marriage, our children have given it excitement and meaning.  But we were seriously committed, like anyone who chooses to fulfill the great commission.

Yes, our harvest field is our family.  But not everyone who asks would understand.  And so, when asked, I often simplify.  I focus on the most self-centered reason of all why we have so many children.

It’s because we’ve found that in our feelings for them, we come as close as we can to God’s feeling for us.

Whether they’ve learned to turn a somersault, brought the hose in to water the dining room, scored a touchdown, warmed the bench all season, captured the lead in the play, started stammering again, made straight A’s, or been caught cheating, they’ve taught us this incredible lesson: how to love unconditionally.

Simply stated, we’re just plain crazy about them!

BARBARA CURTIS, ©

Waterford, Virginia, USA

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www.barbaracurtis.com

WHY WE LET GOD PLAN OUR FAMILY

Preface

As our family has grown, many ask my wife and I about our views regarding family planning and specifically the practice of birth control.  The following is what I feel to be a Biblical view of family planning.

I need to qualify this writing with the fact that when we endeavor to discern whether a particular practice (ie. Birth control, sterilization) is Biblical, it is certainly not to condemn those who have already partaken in such a practice.

Instead, we search the Scriptures to discern what God has to say about all areas of life so we can make an informed decision for the present and the future.

This writing is also meant for believers - I would not expect someone who does not believe in the God of the Bible to be particularly concerned or in tune with what the Bible has to say on this or most other subjects for that matter.

Background

As baby Christians, my wife, Allison, and I practiced birth control (primarily‘the pill’) for the first five years of our marriage until we decided to trust God for our first child.  Even that was a big step for me at that time.  I was afraid for my life to change so drastically and had doubts about whether I was ready to become a father.

Once we had our first child, our son Max, we felt convicted to never practice birth control again.  And God melted away my fears about becoming a father the day Max was born.  It was the role I was ordained to step in.  How foolish I had been.

Our second child was Madison.  For much of this pregnancy (approximately eight weeks!), my wife Allison was on bed rest.  She had to take medication which kept the baby from being prematurely delivered.

We had to move in with friends who took care of Allison and Max while I was at work.  It was a difficult time.  Money was very tight but God provided.

The delivery of baby Madison was a harrowing experience.  After two days of inducement, the baby came suddenly and shredded the placenta.  She lost a significant amount of blood and had to be rushed into emergency surgery to save her life.  Madison was put in intensive care for a few weeks and would not nurse.

A year later we found out that Madison has a genetic disorder which calls for special lifelong care and attention.  It also explained the abnormal pregnancy and delivery.  In any case, we felt very blessed that God would entrust such a delicate one to us.

After this, family and friends, as well as some doctors would often say, “You’re not having another one, are you?”  Or “What if it happens again?”  We decided to put it in God’s hands, and He brought wonderful Margaret to us.

Then God brought beautiful Emma and Olivia to us.  Now we have our Teddy (who really is a bear of a boy!).  As of this writing, we are expecting another baby.

The Point of No Return

At a certain point, I think it was around the time when we had three children and Allison was pregnant with Emma (our 4th child), we had to really make up our minds about having more children.  It was getting a little scary.  It also seemed difficult (at the time).

We had heard some messages from people in far off ministries regarding letting God plan your family size.  It was a foreign concept to us.  None of the churches we had ever attended had ever preached this or even approached the subject at all.

So we decided to search the Scriptures and see what God’s Word has to say about birth control.  I had always heard that the Bible was ‘silent’ on this issue.  We found that to be totally false.  In fact, the answer I found wasn’t really what I was looking for at the time.

The Bible and Birth Control

“Lo, children are an heritage from the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.  As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.  Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with the enemies in the gate.”  (Psalm 127:3-5)

If God tells us children are a blessing from Him, why would we ever purposefully reject such a blessing?  Perhaps fear, selfishness and the wisdom of this world.  Perhaps wanting only the pleasure, but not the hard work of raising children.

Do these reasons sound Biblical?  Let’s just take God at His word and walk in faith.  Isn’t that what it really it comes down to? Whether we trust God at His word or not?

Remember, “faith cometh by hearing, and hearing by the word of God” (Romans 10:17).  That is how we are able to “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Cor 5:7).  Our faith comes from what God says, not our own particular feelings at any given time.  We are to walk in what God says is true.

Babies are a blessing among God’s people throughout the Bible (especially when God multiplies them), particularly when God opens the barren womb.  God curses some people with a barren womb (note: I am not saying that anyone with a barren womb is cursed – that is just how God chose to curse some people).

Why then would a husband curse his wife, or a wife curse herself, by artificially sealing up her womb?  Is that walking by faith?  Shouldn’t we trust God to open and close the womb?

He may give you one child, three or seven.  Or it may be God’s will that you have none – perhaps then He may lead you to adopt or some other path.

The point is, aren’t we to trust all areas of our life to Him?  Should we say, “Oh, God, I give myself to you, all that I am, all that I have is yours – but just don’t tell me how many children to have.”

Remember, it is God who designed our bodies to reproduce.  We aren’t “fixing” them when we prevent them from reproducing, we are breaking them.

God tells us to do the opposite, to be fruitful and multiply.  Just in case the reader is wondering, His command comes forth before and after the fall.

Our excuses

Overpopulation:  Usually it is unbelievers who subscribe to this line of reasoning.  They are still under the Malthusian delusion that the world is going to be overrun with overpopulation.  While this was the prediction several decades ago, the opposite actually occurred.

Too difficult financially:  So are many things, like having Mom stay at home with the children, instead of paying a stranger $8 to $12 an hour to raise your children so the family can have a dual income.

The Hebrews had children in captivity while they were slaves in Egypt and became so numerous that the Egyptians became afraid of them.  I think that even the poorest of us are in a better position to have children than slaves, financially or otherwise.

Some say that God gives us wisdom to make these choices individually. But remember, the Lord says,  “My ways are not your ways.”

Proof:  Many couples are in complete disagreement over this.  I see this all the time.  One wants to still have children and the other says, “No way, we’re done.”  The “one flesh” is in disagreement because one feels compelled to yield to God and the other does not.

Final Thoughts

Now looking back (and enjoying the present), we are very blessed by each one of our children and cannot imagine the thought of having prevented one of them from being born.

Your children will only be young for a very short time and, God willing, you may avoid the empty nest syndrome as your grandchildren come around the time your youngest is growing up.

We trust God with our salvation, our justification, our sanctification, our very lives.  Why not trust Him with sending as many (or few) children as He desires?

In closing, after we made the decision to trust God in this area, we found God’s Word to be true.   We are rewarded, happy, and blessed by our children – even more so as God continues to fill our quiver.

JJ. AND ALLISON GOBBELL
Santa Barbara, California, USA
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