FIVE MORE ARROWS!
After our third son, Kith and I both agreed that we didn't want any more children and I planned to have a tubal ligation following his birth. Finances were tight. I was a nervous wreck and did not enjoy the precious children God had entrusted to me. Following Caleb's birth, my epidural had worn off, so they told me we would have to schedule the surgery in six weeks. I look back now and know that God was closing the door to the surgery.
Needless to say, we never went back for the surgery, and 11 months later, I became pregnant with Andrew, my fourth son. When I found out I was pregnant , instead of being overjoyed, I was devastated. I didn't desire any more children and still had the frame of mind that children were more of an inconvenience than a blessing. I complained throughout the pregnancy and said that I didn't want any more children.
At eight weeks pregnant, I began to bleed with a threatened miscarriage. I had never experienced a miscarriage before and became very fearful. I asked God to forgive me for complaining about the child I was carrying, to give me a peace and make me happy that I was going to have a baby. A couple of days later, the bleeding stopped and I had a normal, healthy, pregnancy, and baby.
I was very happy to have another beautiful son, and my attitude changed a little about having four children, but through ignorance, and pressure from family, I did have a tubal ligation after he was born. I thought four children were more than enough for any mother.
Nothing could describe the emptiness I felt when I awoke from the surgery, but I convinced myself we had made the right decision. After all, we already had four little boys to raise, and that was more than most people had. My husband seemed happy with the decision and verbally expressed the fact that he was happy we wouldn't have any more children. I look back now and realize how this must have saddened our Lord who had lovingly blessed our family with more children, and who had made me wonderfully fertile and healthy to bear godly seed for His glory.
Having the tubal reversal is one of the biggest mistakes I made in my life. I tried to put it out of my mind and tell myself that our family was complete, but deep down I knew I had made a horrible mistake and I wasn't sure it could be fixed.
God did an awesome work in my life. Through His Word, He showed us that children are a wonderful blessing from Him. He totally changed my attitude about my children and spiritually I have grown by leaps and bounds. He showed me my place as a godly wife and mother, and in full submission to my God-given role, I have found wonderful contentment.
God touched our hearts about a reversal. I called several doctors in my area, and always got the same response, $10,000-$15,000. Through Above Rubies we came across Blessed Arrows and found a doctor in my area that does tubal reversals as a ministry at a much reduced rate. We began praying that if it was God's will for me to have the surgery done to repair my tubes that He would provide the money we needed. My Heavenly Father saw every tear I cried as I poured out my heart to him, asking Him to forgive me and allow us to have more children. I give Him all the glory, and I humbly thank Him for forgiving me, loving me, and for faithfully revealing His ways to me.
We had the tubal ligation in May 2002. Six weeks after my surgery, I conceived our first reversal baby and first daughter, Kaylee Grace. I had prayed the Lord would give me a daughter and I gave birth to Kaylee in March 2003. he Lord blessed us again with two more daughters, Emilee Faith in November of 2004 and Olivia Joy in August of 2006. He opened my womb and blessed us again with a fiery little boy, Aiden Samuel in October of 2007!
Obviously God is not through blessing us as of yet. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant with yet another blessing, due May 2010! That makes five reversal blessings since we decided to be obedient and trust God with our fertility. This will make a total, so far, of nine beautiful arrows for God's glory.
It hasn't been "easy street" since we decided to commit our fertility to God. The enemy has fought us full force with everything from financial struggles to sickness in my body. It is so obvious that the enemy is mad and doesn't want us to add another arrow to our quiver. Every time I get pregnant, the spiritual warfare begins. The devil attacks all our family, but especially me during pregnancy. I have experienced high blood pressure, severe pre-eclampsia and unexplained nervous system symptoms. It always starts when I get pregnant, and sometimes I feel so bad I wonder if I can go on. However, I know that the Lord has called us to give my womb to Him and we pray daily, "Not my will, but thine be done, on earth as it is in heaven." The Lord is faithful and He always gives me the strength to go on.
In February 2007 the Lord blessed my husband with a job promotion which moved us from San Antonio to Waxahachie, Texas, 30 minutes south of Dallas. It is so wonderful to see how the Lord is using our family here. Our oldest son is now a junior in college and is called into politics. Our next son, Taylor, will be graduating homeschool this year and feels a call to the mission field. They are being used mightily here among the young people in this area. What a blessing our children are and it is obvious to me that they are being used as mighty warriors.
PAULA COLE
Waxahachie, Texas, USA
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