Jim and I met in 1966. He was 25 I was 18. He was wild and so was I. When we met he had already been in and out of prison for about seven years, and was going back again for two years. We married in the prison six months later. Soon after I had our son. A few months later I miraculously came to Christ. Because of the prison term I didn’t live with my husband for another two and a half years. After being home a year he began a crime spree.

He deserted us over and over again. I had nowhere to turn except to God. No one knew where my mate was. Some of the time my heart would rage like a forest fire out of control on the dry and windy land. I would run and scream like a woman out of her mind searching for her mate in the raging fire. I’d scream curses at God only to faint from exhaustion and weep bitter tears of repentance. I’d get back up, begin running again and fall again and again until finally I’d surrender my will to Christ’s will. And then I’d wait, maybe for another six months, knowing God was in control.

In the beginning I thought about divorce. Well, wasn’t that what a woman does if her husband leaves her repeatedly? And yet Jim kept coming back and repenting. He would mysteriously end up at my back door after being missing for four or five months, looking like a mad man. But beneath the dirt and sun-parched face he was still mine.

I’d bring him in the house, give him dinner, and speak peace and rest to him. I’d run the bath water for him to wash and feel like a man again. Compassion would rise up in my heart. I had the Lord, and my Jim didn’t. I would reverence and praise him.

I would shut the door on the world and be alone with my mate. No matter what he had done to me, we were still one flesh. He was my first and only husband--a terrible, ungodly, unfaithful husband, but he was still my husband. His healing came again and again as I forgave him and opened my love to him. I held nothing back.

There would be times when putting dinner on the table, I’d notice he was awfully late. I’d listen for the car and begin running again and again to the window. The old familiar fear would rage, knowing that he had deserted me again. This scene happened about 30 times in the first twelve years of marriage. He would suddenly disappear without warning. The children would run in from play crying, “Where is daddy, where is my daddy?” I’d tell my little baby, Jimmy, “Daddy is sick, but Jesus is going to heal him.” I taught my little ones to pray, “Thank you, Jesus, for bringing my daddy home.”

His mother died and no one could find him. My prayers went out to God day and night, seemingly to no avail. The years went on and the crimes continued as if I had no God. I felt like a motherless and fatherless child. I was completely exhausted and my mate committed still another crime and went to prison for almost four years.

I loved him. I felt he was demon possessed and yet he was my husband. At times I hated him. Your arms and legs belong to you even when they hurt, you can’t cut them off. I was like this about my husband. He was mine. I hated it when he deserted me, but I was married to him no matter what. Adultery to me was the worst of all sins. At night before I entered my marriage bed alone I’d cry out to God to keep me pure, even in my dreams, and that I would never dream of another man.

Many mornings I’d wake up and think, “Lord, why did you give me another day to live?” Often the world seemed so black to me, but sweet Jesus would come to me and speak life and joy into my tired and depressed soul. One time God supernaturally took all my burdens away. I forgot he had left me. It was so hilarious. I even wrote myself a note to remember to pray for him.

The day-to-day message from the Lord was, “Now Connie, you just get up out of that bed. You straighten your shoulders and you believe God. This problem isn’t bigger than God. Don’t you prepare your day as though Jim won’t be home. You get up and prepare your home for a miracle.” Each evening when my husband was gone I’d fix supper for him and put his plate at the head of the table. No one was allowed to sit in his chair and no one was allowed to bad mouth him. I ran the house as if he were home.

I survived and lived on the Word of God. I whispered His name all day long. He walked with me in the valley of death and guided me to a straight path.

All our phone conversations at the prison were censored. I’d speak faith into the phone and say, “I’ll see you in a few days, honey. The guards thought we were planning an escape because Jim had been given a 10-year sentence!

People laughed at me and said that he would always leave me and be in and out of prison. The prison guards told me that Jim was institutionalized and was hopeless. Hopeless or not, he was my husband. I knew I could never forsake the Lord by not forgiving my own husband. Also, as a young wife I wanted to be a teacher of women when I got older and I knew I couldn’t be divorced. I’d sing, “Keep me Jesus as the apple of thine eye.”

The Lord would tell me to speak to the mountains in my life and not doubt in my heart. I would speak to the mountain, which was Jim. I would woo him and call him home with my prayers. Every muscle in my body cried out to God to save him. I fasted and prayed continuously.

Jim was healed in 1979. After he had been in prison for the last four years and home for about three months, he asked me to have another baby, our fourth. I was so fearful and yet was praying for Jim to be healed. I said No. I was not going to have another baby. I walked away from him and the Lord spoke to me. “Connie, He said, “You have come this far by faith. Don’t give up now.” After much heartache I obeyed the Lord my God.

“Yes,” I told Jim, I’ll have another baby for you.”  I placed my future in his hands. When Jim saw that I still believed in his life as a human being something released within him. The fear left his eyes and He was delivered. He lifted his hands up to His Father and received the anointing of a sound and unfettered mind. He began to slowly give more and more of his life to Christ. He took over the bills and began to work steadily.

The Lord did exceedingly and abundantly more than I could ask or think. He gave me joy unspeakable. He showed me He was there all the time. Satan had come in like a flood but the Lord raised such a standard against him. All Satan did was build me a grand testimony.

God gave me a new batch of fruit. I had David in 1980, Dan in 1982 and Mary in 1985. We now have six children. I was queen in my palace. I raised the children for Christ and to honor their daddy. I taught them to jump when daddy walked into the room. I taught them to get Daddy a cup of coffee or honor him in some way.

The guys at work say to my husband, “You don’t go out and drink and party.” Jim says, “I have a wife to go home to. I spend my time with my family.”

One guy said, “Boy, when work is over you run home.” The guy thought something was wrong with him!

I sit here thinking of Jim and the man he is now. He has been home sitting at the head of our table for 20 years! Who is this Jesus we serve? Surely He is the Son of the living God, a God who saw me crying and feeling so forsaken, a God who knew the very moment Jim would be healed. Jim is my walking miracle to always remind me that nothing is impossible with God. He showed me that if we don’t give up we will see the glory of God.

Proverbs 31:11 says, “The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her.” A woman must gain the trust of a man such as this. His healing comes as he feels safe enough to give Christ his heart and his wife his heart. When Jim was healed he went from not seeing me to taking care of me. He turned from Satan and took dominion over his Eve. He came into his responsibilities as a man. I come under my husband and I don’t desire to do anything else. I don’t always agree with him and I tell him I don’t. But in the end his word is final. I want to be as Esther and not as Queen Vashti.

Dear wives and mothers, don’t give up give up on your husband. He sees your heartache. He won’t leave you or forsake you if you trust in Him. I know for I’ve been to the other side.

CONNIE HULTQUIST

 UPDATE TO BRING HIM HOME--Updated December 2012

In April 2006 my dear husband, Jim, died of a heart attack. As my six children and I gathered around Jim’s hospital bed the Hospital Chaplain told me, "I have never seen a family so full of love." As the nurse told us Jim had passed, I whispered to each of the children to comfort and love each other. As we left the hospital room I left a chapter in my life.

I wish I could say that all went well after that, but grief is hard to understand, and unpredictable. Jim and I were married for almost 40 years, my first and only husband. I still live in our family home, garden, bake bread, cook from scratch, and try to practice what I preach.

Jim would often say, "Connie and the children are what I live for, but I try to put God first. My family is my life." When we would give our testimony to a church group Jim would look up from the pulpit and say, "If it wasn't for that little girl right over there I wouldn't be alive today. She was my guardian angel." 

I now have nine grandchildren and they are a wonderful blessing. Had I given up on my husband I would have never felt the joy of having all of  these grandchildren. Praise the Lord.

Jim and I lived from one miracle to the next. To me, Jim and I were just two good forgivers as we all have feet of clay. Our love and life together was the most gut wrenching experience I ever had, but it was a one of a kind marriage. Would I do it all again? Yes, I would. Oh yes, it was worth it all. My marriage was tried in the fires many times but I came out with a testimony of love and truth. My marriage has a message, "If you don't give up you will see the glory of God."

CONNIE HULTQUIST

You Are A Crown

A CROWNING JEWEL!

Where do you fit with your husband? You may have read the famous quote of Matthew Henry on the creation of the woman, "The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam, not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved."

The Word of God also tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:7 that the "woman is the glory of the man." As the glory of the man, she is also a crown to honor her husband.

Proverbs 12:4 says, "A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones." I love the Amplified version which says, "A virtuous and worthy wife – earnest and strong in character – is a crowning joy to her husband."

Isn’t it interesting that God says a virtuous woman is a crown? She is not to be trodden underfoot. She is not to be looked down upon. She is not inferior. She is a crown. A crown is worn upon the head. A crown is something that is dazzlingly beautiful. It is usually made of gold and ornamented with precious gems. It is a token of honor.

Noah Webster’s 1928 dictionary says: ‘To crown’ means to invest with royalty. To bestow something upon as a mark of honor or dignity; to adorn, dignify; also to award first rank.

Point five of ‘to crown’ In Webster’s says, "Anything which imparts beauty, splendor, honor or finish; also the highest state or quality of anything." And on this point he quotes Proverbs 12:4.

A virtuous woman adds distinction and dignity to her husband. He is proud to wear her. He wants to show her off. He praises her before others.

When she honors him as king of her home, he will rise to kingly heights in his manhood. When she awards him ‘first rank’ he becomes free to reach his full potential and is inspired to do things he never thought possible. He will treat his wife like a Queen with dignity and respect.

Have you crowned your husband? The more richly you crown him the more you will be blessed.

What does the crown look like with which you adorn your husband? Does it look tarnished and strange because many jewels are missing? Or is it filled with precious gems? What are some of the gems that will make your husband proud to wear you as his crown?

Is your crown decorated with diamonds of devotion, dedication, dignity and diligence that will delight his soul?

Have you set in sapphires that will shine and sparkle with a serving, sacrificial and submissive spirit? Are you sweet to him? Are you a strength and support to his vision and goals in life? Are you sensitive to his needs? Are you steadfast in your loyalty and commitment to your marriage?

Have you positioned pearls in your crown – pearls of patience, peace, perseverance and prayer for your husband?

Oh don’t forget the rubies, the rarest of all gems. Is your crown radiating with rubies of reverence and respect for your husband?

Is your crown ornamented with opals of openness, obedience, overflowing love and the oil of joy?

Don’t forget the emeralds that emanate esteem, earnest commitment, encouragement and endurance.

Adorn your crown with amethysts of admiration, affection, affirmation, approval, appreciation and attentiveness.

Just a minute! You can’t forget the crowning jewel of all – contentment! This jewel adds luster to your crown. This jewel releases your husband from bondage and pressure. Sadly, it is often a missing jewel. It’s easy to be content when you have everything you want. But can you learn to be content when you don’t have everything you want? Can you be content with what your husband provides for you? I am always challenged by Psalm 128:3 TLB where it talks about the "contented" wife in the home.

"If I do all this, he’ll walk all over me," you say. "He’ll become proud and he’s already got a big enough head!" It doesn’t work that way, dear one. When you forget about yourself and seek to bless and serve your husband, you not only crown him with dignity and honor, but you truly become his crown. You won’t be subservient. You’ll be worn on his head as his most treasured possession.

Why not start adding precious jewels to your crown today?

NANCY CAMPBELL

PRAYER:

"Father God, I confess my sin to you of not crowning my husband. I am so busy thinking of myself that I forget to crown him with blessings. Help me to be a crown upon his head that will cause him to shine for the glory of God and to "sit in the gate of the city." Show me the jewels that you want me to add to his crown. Save me from doing things that will make him ashamed. Please help me, Lord. Amen."

QUOTE:

A woman who is a crown to her husband…

C Cherishes her husband. (Titus 2:4)

R Reverences her husband. (Ephesians 5:33)

O Obeys her husband. (Titus 2:5)

W Watches over her husband to do him good. (Prov 31:11-12)

N Never nags her husband. (Proverbs 19:13; 21:9,19; 27:15)

P.S.

I’d love to share with you some very beautiful marriage vows that a young couple wrote for one another for their wedding recently. Actually, I shared with the young bride about being a "crown" to her husband at her Wedding Shower and I was thrilled to notice that she added this to her beautiful vows.

"My love, no one has heard me the way that you understand me.

No one has touched my heart the way that you heal me.

No one has loved me the way that you fill me.

No one has presented Jesus’ love the way that you make Him my Prince.

No one has mirrored me the way that you complete me.

No one deserves my love the way that you humbly take it.

I take you for all that you are all that you’ll ever be, as my FOREVER BELOVED.

It is my desire to join with you hand in hand with our Father, to bring more of God’s kingdom to this world.

It is my desire to be a virtuous wife, that you may wear a crown on your head.

Today, I give to you and to the Lord my life and my worth.

I return from independence to dependence.

From now through eternity I am yours…

Yes, and Amen, your Bride.

And here are the Groom’s vows…

Today, I make a covenant with God and with you to love you like Jesus loves the church.

To learn your ‘love language’ more fluently and then to speak it more clearly.

I promise to lift you up on my shoulders if God’s plan for your life seems out of sight.

To hold your hand when you feel like it is dark all around you.

I promise, with the grace of God, to make you and our family first in all that I do.

Not to leave you behind, but to walk by your side every day.

I believe that God’s intention for my life was to marry you and share the rest of my life with you.

So, I pick up the rod of husbandhood and leadership and put on the cloak of humility.

I also promise to have a lot of fun with you!

Your Groom.

Didn’t you love these vows?

Submission - How Does It Work?

"Wives, submit yourselves unto our own husbands."  Colossians 3:18

I was newly married and now, for the first time, this verse applied to me. The only question was; what did it really mean to submit? I asked my husband, Paul, and he told me not to worry about it, that I was doing just fine. I concluded that submission to my husband was essentially something I would have to work out in my own heart between God and me.

If there is something specific that Paul, my husband, asks me to do or not do, I have always felt I should do as he wishes. But in other issues submission is less clear-cut. Over the years, submitting to my husband became a four-step process for me. If there is an issue we can’t seem to resolve, or if there is a decision to be made, or if Paul is doing something I don’t like, I try to follow these four steps:

1. Tell him exactly how I felt, one time.

Some people equate total silence with submission. This is wrong. God put me into my husband’s life to balance him. Often I will see sides of an issue that he would never see on his own. God sometimes shows me truths that he does not reveal to Paul. That is why I need to clearly tell him these things. Sometimes I think that surely anyone with two eyes could tell how I feel about this issue, but still I need to clearly tell him in words.

I remember a time I equated silence with submission - with unfortunate results. We were living in northern Ontario, and Paul was building a canoe in his spare time. During this time we flew to Oregon for my brother’s wedding. Paul got the bright idea to buy the fiberglass resin for his canoe while we were in Oregon because it was so much cheaper there. Fiberglass resin is stuff that looks like corn syrup and has a terrible, overpowering odor. I was very uneasy about taking it on a plane, because I thought I had read on the ticket that we were not supposed to transport any hazardous chemicals in our luggage. "Oh, well," I finally decided, "Surely hubby knows best. I’ll just be submissive for a change and not say anything." So the fiberglass resin was put in a box and on the plane. Unfortunately, our luggage missed a connection and was sent to the wrong city.

While it was there, the resin began to leak a little bit. The airline personnel smelled it and refused to send it on. After considerable bother we finally convinced them that we had no sinister purposes for it and we got it back six weeks later. We agreed that I should have told Paul about my misgivings. A year later we happened to be in the airport again and noticed a sign announcing that passengers can be fined up to $10,000 for transporting hazardous materials.

2. Be quiet.

That’s it. Be quiet. I have told him clearly how I feel, and now I need to be quiet. You would think such a simple step wouldn’t be so profoundly difficult. My tendency is to talk and talk and TALK, and it takes all my willpower, plus lots of help from above to simply BE QUIET. Paul and I are wired differently. I like to talk until a decision is reached. He likes to have hours or days to think things over.

3. Pray about it.

I cannot imagine trying to solve some of these dilemmas in our marriage simply with our own techniques. We need God’s hand in every situation. There is something about this three-step process of saying how I feel, being quiet, and praying that frees the Holy Spirit to work. Sometimes he gives me grace to accept a situation that won’t change. Sometimes He changes Paul. Often, He brings solutions that neither of us could have thought of on our own.

4. Watch God work.

This is the fun part! It is simply astonishing what God can do when I do my part in obeying what He asks me to do. With Paul’s permission, I share the following examples. Paul has a mind that concentrates on exactly one thing at a time. I found it very upsetting, early in our marriage, when I would drop in on him at school and he, intent with teaching, would hardly acknowledge my presence. Not that I expected him to drop everything to talk to me; all I wanted was a "hello, how are you?" I explained to him how I felt and he said he would work on it.

One day I went to the school office between classes to run some errands. Paul walked right by me three times as I made photocopies and delivered mail, but he never said a word to me. I went home feeling very sorry for myself. What should I do? I had already told him how I felt. So I prayed. I asked God to help me change if I was simply being too sensitive, and I asked Him to convict Paul if he was in the wrong. It was hard, but I resolved to act as if nothing had happened, not mention a word about he had ignored me, and let God handle it.

A couple of hours later Paul came home for lunch. Apparently the Holy Spirit had done His work because Paul wasn’t even in the door before he was apologizing for how he had ignored me in the office. Since then he has become more sensitive to my needs, and I have become more accepting of his single-mindedness.

There was the time I felt like the children were getting old enough for a more structured time of family worship. I mentioned it to Paul, who listened but wasn’t sure he agreed. I kept quiet and prayed. A month or two later, Paul said thoughtfully, "You know, I’ve been thinking that the children are getting old enough to benefit from structured family devotions." I just smiled. I think God did too.

I have seen this method work with making Paul aware of things that needed to be done around the house, and of needs that the children had that were not being met. It has helped him to meet my needs without feeling resentful, and it has helped me to accept the things about him that will probably never change.

I don’t want to sound like these steps are manipulative devices to get my own way. There are many times when things don’t turn out like I would prefer. The fact that I can’t think of any examples right now is testimony to the fact that God has helped me be at peace about these issues instead of letting them fester.

My sister’s husband, Rod, is an active sort of man who loved to roughhouse with their little son. "Rod! Be careful! Watch out! You’ll hurt him! BE CAREFUL!" Becky would exclaim as little Jason flew high up in the air before Rod caught him or missed sharp corners by inches as Rod swung him by his feet. Finally Becky realized that all her warnings were not only driving a wedge into their marriage, but were not making the slightest change in Rod. She vowed before the Lord that the words, "Be careful" would never pass her lips again, and that she would entrust Jason’s safety to Him. She has kept her promise, and while she doesn’t enjoy the roughhousing, God has given her peace about it. Rod continues to play wildly with Jason and his two little brothers, who love every minute of it, and who have never had a serious injury because of it.

Having written this, I will no doubt face a serious conflict with Paul in the next week to see if I really meant what I said. May God give me the grace to submit: to say what I’m thinking – one time only; to be quiet; to pray; and to watch Him work miracles!

DORCAS SMUCKER

Harrisburg, Oregon, USA

Paul and Dorcas have five gifts from the Lord – Matthew 14, Amy 11, Emily 9, Benjamin 6 and Jennifer Anne born April 1999.

Something Missing

The first time I met David I knew that he was the one I would some day marry. I was 14 years at the time and he was a year older. We had just moved to a different community and our new home was across the road from David’s family farm. I rushed home to tell my sister, "I’ve just met the person I will marry. I’m telling you this so when we stand at my wedding we’ll look back and remember.

By my junior year we were high school sweethearts. A year after I graduated and on a beautiful September evening, in the presence of some 400 loved ones, I did indeed marry the boy next door. And yes, my sister and I giggled together about the day David and I met.

We bought a new home and moved in right after our wedding. We both had good jobs but when we started our family I quit my job to stay home. My career would have to wait. By our 5^th anniversary, we had three beautiful sons. My pregnancies were anything but typical however. Philip was born six weeks early and weighed 4 lbs. I went into pre-term labor at 30 weeks with our second son, Daniel. I was in bed for two months and three months with out third son, Benjamin. The strain of all this convinced David and members of our family that I should have a tubal ligation. The doctor added that I might not survive another pregnancy. With a heavy heart I agreed to the tubal. I woke from the surgery in tears at the thought of no more babies to hold or nurse. Something was missing.

In 1987 we moved 40 miles away to a new community and a beautiful Victorian house. David commuted to work and I renovated our home. It looked as though we had it made. With three boys in school I became very restless and thought, "There has to be more to life than this. Anyone can be a mom and keep house. I need a career of my own." My friends encouraged me to make something of my life. I got a job that allowed me the same schedule as our boys but although I enjoyed tutoring students with special needs there was still something missing.

As we sat around our large table in the evenings, I’d look at the faces of my family with joy. But there was sadness too. There were empty places at our table that needed to be filled. The Lord began speaking to my heart over several months and I thought of having my tubal reversed. David’s immediate response was "No!" but God changed his heart too. In July of 1989 I checked into the hospital with great joy and a greater hope.

In January 1990 I wept for joy when I received the news that I was pregnant. I was still working but that would be no problem – we could find a daycare provider. I could have it all! Our joy soon turned to great concern. I was in and out of hospital several times. I could keep nothing down, throwing up as many as 25 times daily. Intravenous fluids nourished us both for several weeks. My blood pressure dropped to dangerous levels and I was placed on heart medication. I was three months pregnant when the contractions started and I was placed on complete bed rest. As one month stretched into another, my house, my family and my marriage all began to unravel. A close friend came to help with the house and the children. It was the start of a friendship between her and my husband that eventually became a long-term affair.

God gave me a deep love for my unborn child and a determination to get through one day at a time. Three weeks before my due date I was stricken with a severe headache and pain in my left eye. My eyeball extended an inch from its normal position. My eye was red with blood, black underneath and had crossed so I saw double. I was diagnosed with a rare eye disease, a pseudotumor that was treatable with high doses of prednisone. The doctor requested labor be induced immediately as the baby had to be delivered before treatment could start.

I joyfully welcomed Stephen into my arms eight hours after induction began. What should have been one of life’s most precious moments was overshadowed with treatment that lasted three months before my vision returned and what was unfolding in my husband’s life. Something was indeed missing.

Because I could not see well, read, or watch TV, Stephen and I spent most of our hours together, just rocking, nursing and sleeping. It took months to recuperate physically and get back on my feet. I returned to my job and Stephen went to daycare. I hated it. After four long months I resigned to be home with my little "miracle". I had waited almost 10 years for him. The Lord changed my heart - motherhood would be my career. He led me home and I willingly followed, knowing this was where I was meant to be successful.

My marriage on the other hand was a different story. I had suspected David’s affair for quite some time but had no proof. Our relationship headed for the bottom fast just as I realized that I was pregnant again. I cried for months thinking God had surely made a mistake. Didn’t He know that this would be the final straw to end our marriage? How could it possibly last if I ended up on bed rest again? For about two minutes I contemplated terminating the pregnancy to make our situation less stressful. I abandoned the idea, asked for forgiveness and decided to fully trust the Lord again.

This pregnancy required seven and a half months on bed-rest. Timothy was born in May 1992. He has been the apple of our eyes and a very best friend to Stephen. The two have been inseparable. For two more years our marriage floundered. We wasted time and several thousands of dollars on counseling only to be told that divorce was our only option.

In March 1994 I filed for divorce. My husband and our friend had betrayed me. The hurt was too great. David moved out and we were separated for eight months. My friends prayed that God would bring David back to his marriage and his family. When it finally happened, I had already lost hope.

David stopped in, unscheduled, to see our boys in January 1995 before leaving on a business trip. The two little ones were ill with chicken pox. He was hit with the realization that he would no longer always be there for them and he broke down. We talked for a long time and he confessed his affair. He asked if there was anything that we could do to try again. He wanted his family back. Hearing my suspicions verbalized caused me to fall apart. I was more determined than ever to end the marriage as quickly as possible. The hurt was too great. My pride was too strong. We were given a final court date in March 1995. I couldn’t wait to be finished with that chapter of my life. Surely God had other plans for me, a happier marriage perhaps.

This was indeed God’s plan. On Valentine’s Day I received a brochure in the mail for an upcoming Family Life Marriage Conference in Minneapolis, Minnesota. The registration and accommodation had been paid for – all I had to do was go! With David! I battled with the Lord for several weeks. "How can you ask me to put my marriage back together after what has happened? I cried. "Don’t you know how much he’s hurt me? How could I ever trust him again? I feel nothing for him. How could I ever love him again? Don’t I deserve something better?" I didn’t want to even consider it. Timothy was fighting me one night as I put him to bed. He stomped his little two-year-old foot and said, "I don’t want to!" My heart was pierced. Wasn’t that act of defiance to a parent exactly what I was doing to the Lord? I was convicted.

I started searching the scripture again and when I asked Him "Why?" He answered from Malachi 2:16, "For I hate divorce says the Lord." When I asked Him "How?" He answered from Jeremiah 29:11, "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord plans to prosper you and not harm you, to give you a future and a hope." When I asked Him what He wanted me to do, He answered from John 14:15, "If you love Me, you will obey my commands." "Oh Lord, Not my will, but Yours be done," I cried. Luke 22:42.

David and I attended the conference as a separated couple within three weeks of signing the final divorce papers. We discovered what had been missing from our marriage all along. We had never allowed Jesus Christ to be the center of our marriage. We had been living life according to our plan. We discovered that our spouse is not our enemy. Satan is, and he will use our spouse, our children, and even ourselves in any way he can to try and destroy God’s plan for us. We discovered ways to begin the healing process and for forgiveness to take place. We left the conference together, committed to rebuilding our marriage family.

We needed a support team to keep us going so we started a HomeBuilders Bible Study Group with five other couples. Through that study we gained the knowledge of God’s blueprints for marriage and family. The following year we returned to the conference with those couples and the next year with 25 couples.

The Lord brought us through some deep waters, so deep sometimes that it was over our heads. But He never left us. He was right there with us all the time and He brought us to dry land. We not only have a much closer marriage but also a much closer relationship with the Lord.

DEBRA POINTS

St. Croix Falls, Wisconsin, USA