TABLE TIPS

for your Mealtimes Together

Do you love to gather your family around your table to eat and fellowship together? The family meal table is one of the foundations of family life. It’s a biblical principle. The picture God gives in the Bible of a blessed family is the wife in the heart of the home and all the children sitting around the table. Read it again in Psalm 128:3.

The first mention of the word table in the Bible is The Table of Shewbread in the tabernacle in the wilderness. On this table there were twelve loaves of bread called The Shewbread. The table was also called The Table of Faces and the bread, The Bread of Faces (Lechem haPanim). The bread upon the table pointed to Christ who is our bread, our life, our sustenance. As we look to Him and feed from Him, we are fed and satisfied.

Do you notice that a plural word is used for bread? Christ is more than one face. He has many attributes and the more we look to Him in His Word the more we come to know Him and all His glorious attributes. Colossians 2:3 says: “In Him are hid all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

The twelve loaves upon the table also pointed to the Israelites. God also wanted the bread upon the table to represent His people. In the loaves, He saw each one of their faces. He wanted them in His presence. Each week the priests would take the week-old bread off the table and replace it with new bread. The priests would then eat the bread (which was still fresh because it had lain in the presence of the Lord) and fellowship together.

The Table and the Shewbread were considered one. They were like twins. Just as mother and home are synonymous, so the table and food are synonymous. They go together. In other words, we eat food at the table! We don’t eat food in front of the TV. We don’t allow each member to grab their food and eat in their rooms or wherever they like. God wants us to sit around the table together.

But the table is not only a biblical principle, it is a heavenly principle. Did you know that God had a table (or tables) in His heavenly kingdom before we ever had them on earth? Yes, tables originated in Heaven! Jesus often talked about His table in the heavenly realm (Matthew 8:11; Luke 14:15; 29:30; and Revelation 19:9).

Therefore, the more you gather at your table, the more of the heavenly atmosphere you will bring to your home! Ooops! “It’s not very heavenly at my table,” I hear you reply. “It’s welcome to the shambles.”

Don’t despair. God gives us principles in His Word about how we should gather at the table. Let me share some of them with you.

Set the Table

If you do not take time to set and prepare the table, your children will not feel it is important. How you prepare your table is how they will perceive the importance of the table. Proverbs 9:2 (RSV) says: “Wisdom has built her house . . . she has also set her table.” I love to set a beautiful table each evening. I love to use a tablecloth. It makes such a difference to the table and to the atmosphere of the meal. Food on a naked table does not have the same welcoming touch.

“Help, do you expect me to add more laundry to my already huge pile?” you scream. Dear lovely mother, you can purchase a lovely tablecloth and put a piece of clear plastic over it which you wipe down after the meal. There are seasons in life. As your children grow, there will come a time when you can eliminate the plastic.

Are you still thinking of the extra work? Teach your children how to set the table correctly. And beautifully and creatively. They love to do it. The children can take turns. They can become very competitive as each one seeks to outdo the other. You can encourage them to add centerpieces, candles, go outside and find wildflowers or leaves, or use their imagination to make something creative.

Make it Orderly

Is it often crazy at your table with children grumbling or even fighting? Are you desperate for peace? Here’s another Bible tip for you. Exodus 40:4 and 23 say: “And thou shalt bring in the table, and set in order the things that are to be set in order upon it . . . And he set the bread in order upon it before the LORD; as the LORD had commanded Moses.” This is speaking about the first time the table is mentioned in the Bible and it is a type for us today.

God is a God of order. He didn’t want the bowls and utensils to be placed haphazardly on the table. He wanted each one in its right order. When we take a few extra moments to make our table special and set it in an orderly manner, something amazing happens. When the children come to an orderly table, they naturally become more orderly. They follow the pattern of the table.

One of my affirmations as I prepare meals for my family and visitors who come to our home is to “Make every meal a love affair.” When you catch this vision, rather than grudgingly preparing another meal, you’ll be amazed how the atmosphere at your table changes.

Sit at the Table

Sitting at the table is also a Bible principle. I know it takes training to get your children to sit through the meal but keep on training, little by little.  

Not one word is wasted in the Bible. Every word is important. It’s interesting how the Bible takes time to talk about such a practical thing as sitting at the table. First Samuel, chapter 20 tells the story of how David and Jonathan planned David’s escape from the palace. It was mandatory for each person to be present for the evening meal at the palace and they all sat in their assigned places.

David said to Jonathan in verse 5 (ESV): “I should not fail to sit at table with the king.” No one was meant to be missing. All places were to be filled.

Later, down in verses 24 and 25 it says: “And when the new moon came, the king sat down to eat food. The king sat on his seat, as at other times on the seat by the wall. Jonathan sat opposite, and Abner sat by Saul’s side, but David’s place as empty.” Each person had their own assigned seat.

A mother shared with me that she allows her children to sit where they like when they come to the table. “But,” she complained, “they continually bicker and argue about where they are going to sit.” I suggested she assign seats for each child. It’s biblical, and it stops the arguing.

Let’s go over to the New Testament. There are many Scriptures about sitting at the meal table (not standing around)! However, let’s look at when Jesus’ fed the five thousand plus people. Jesus did not feed the multitude until they were all seated. He didn’t suggest they sit down. He “commanded” them to sit down. We get the same message in each Gospel.

Matthew 14:19 “He commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass.”

Mark 6:39, 40: “He commanded them to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass. And they sat down in ranks . . .” Do you notice that they “all” had to sit down, not just those who wanted to. No food unless seated!

Luke 9:14: “And he said to his disciples, Make them sit down . . .”

John 6:10 (NKJV): “Jesus said, ‘Make the people sit down . . . So the men sat down, in number about five thousand. And Jesus took the loves, and when He had given thanks He distributed them to the disciples, and the disciples to those sitting down.” We certainly get the feeling that there had to be some organization to get them all seated.

This certainly relates to our families, doesn’t it? Have you found that you need to make your children sit down? Unless you train them to learn to sit at the table they will be jumping up and down like a yo-yo!

We must also teach our children how to sit. I can’t believe how many children and teens sit with their knees up at the table! Has no one ever taught them how to sit correctly?

Unless we sit at the table, we will not receive the same nutritional benefit from our food or from fellowship together.

No iPhones

The purpose of the table is not only to eat, but to communicate together. We gather for “face to face table fellowship,” to dialogue, and converse with one another. From the moment of birth, feeding is face to face. God orchestrated His creation so beautifully that when a mother puts her baby to the breast, they are face to face. The babe not only draws milk from the mother’s breasts but looks to and communicates with the mother.

We don’t need the competition of iPhones when we gather at the table. They inhibit family communication. They interrupt—and are very rude.

This is another thing you must make happen. Nor do you give in to whining about the matter. Perhaps you could have a basket where each one drops their iPhones before coming to sit at the table. Place the basket far enough away that no one can hear any “dings.”

You will need to watch carefully. At times I have noticed teens and even adults looking down past their meal plate and I realize they are looking at an iPhone hiding under the table! I beg your pardon! Are they so addicted they cannot put it away even for a meal?

Direct the Conversation

Have you noticed that family conversation can be shallow or even turn to nothingness? I believe we as parents should direct the conversation. When I prepare a meal, I not only think of what I will cook, but what we will talk about at the table. I like to bring a subject or a question to the table for discussion so we can enjoy stimulating conversation. It’s a time to learn new things from one another, to hone our ideas, and cement convictions. And this saves the conversation from spiraling down into negativity and complaining. Table time should be positive, enjoyable, and fun. You make it happen, dear mother.

Finish the Meal

I guess I am from old school, but I hate waste. I hate to see good wholesome food left on plates. It seems to be a current fad for people to take what they feel like, eat a little, and throw the rest out! Help! Such waste.

I think it is a good idea to give children a small amount of each food on their plate. They should eat this first and come back for more if they are still hungry. I’m always happy to dish out seconds. I love to be generous with food, but I certainly don’t like waste.

But there is more! The table is not only a place to feed the body, but the soul and the spirit. Therefore, we never want to leave the table before we feed the most important part of our children—their spirits. They need feeding as much as their bodies. The spirits of some children must be literally starving! Famished. Dying.

Before we leave the table, my husband opens the Bible and reads a portion to the family and then we pray together. We call it Family Devotions in our home. You may have a different name. I love what they used to call it in Holland—Finishing up the Meal! Isn’t that great? These parents would not allow their children to leave the table until they truly finished their meal by feeding and nourishing their spirits from God’s living Word.

The following are a couple of tips for this part of the meal.

Bring out the Bible!

Because most men have a one-track mind, they often forget about having devotions with their family. They have their mind on other things, and they don’t get around to it. My husband is entrenched in this habit now, but when the children were growing up and we came to the end of the meal, I would bring the Bible or The Daily Light on the Daily Path (which we mostly use) and place it by his plate. I didn’t have to say anything. Just placing it there jogged his memory and he would pick it up and begin to read.

Don’t Clear the Table too Soon!

This is a necessary tip. I have found that if we begin to scrape the dishes, clear the table, and take them to the counter before we have our Family Devotions, that it’s nearly impossible to get everyone back to the table! Once they are up, they’re gone! So, I don’t let them get up!

“Do you mean to say you have Bible reading with all the dirty dishes still on the table?” Yes, we do, and we hardly notice it. It keeps everyone at the table and doesn’t break the atmosphere.

I trust these practical tips will encourage you as you establish the habit of gathering your family to eat around the table.

NANCY CAMPBELL

 

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