After reading my post yesterday about how we as parents are EAR TRAINERS, many mothers asked for practical suggestions on how they can actually train their children to have obedient ears.
My first encouragement to you is to ask the Lord to show you. The children God has given you belong to Him and He is the One who has all the answers on how to train them. Always be seeking Him for the answers. However, here are a few suggestions, especially for when you first start training and the earlier the better.
1. Look at your child face to face when you speak to them. Make sure you have eye contact. You can't expect your child to obey you when you haven't really connected with them. This applies to older children, too. Don't call out a command from another room and expect them to obey. They may not hear you, they may be preoccupied, or in a dream. Speak face to face. Another important tip for older children is to give a clear command. Don't say, "Perhaps it would be a good idea to start doing the dishes," or "I think you should tidy your bedroom." Instead say, "Right now, I want you to begin doing the dishes." Your child needs to know you are not talking for the sake of talking!
2. After you have told your child what to do, ask her to repeat the command. For example, "Susie, I want you to pick up your toys. Now, what did Mommy say?" Ask your child to repeat.
3. Get a response. "Now, Susie, what are you going to do?" Answer: "I'm going to pick up my toys." A response is very important. Now she has told you what she is going to do, she is going to be motivated do it. You are much more motivated to act on what you confess. When they are very young, you may have to do the command with your child, such as lead them to the toys and show them how to do it. But, remember, you are training your child to obey immediately and respond to the command you made. This trains your child how to respond to God. We fail our children when we do not teach them to respond to a command.
Now, what about older children? You didn't start training them to obey. They have disobedient ears and are out of control. Is there hope? Yes, there is always hope. I believe you should gather your children together for a family meeting and have a heart to heart talk with them. Tell them what is on your heart, but here is a suggestion to get you thinking, "Children, we've got something important to talk to you about. We want to be the very best parents for you. However, we realize that we have been failing you. God has commanded us to teach you to obey us, your parents, because this is how you learn to obey God. We haven't been faithful in helping you to do this, but we want to do things right. Can you help us? Can we all work on this together?
"This is what we'll need to do. When we ask you to do something, we will expect you to do it immediately (and you will use the same way as mentioned above). If you do not, there will have to be consequences." You can then talk together with your children about what consequences you choose and discuss it with them together so they understand and know that you are doing this for their blessing and for their walk with God.
You can also do positive things and have competitions and prizes. I enjoyed doing this with our children. When the children are learning a new way to live, you could give a star for every time they obey and have appropriate prizes at the end of the week. You can also give stars for each time your child does their chores immediately--with a cheerful heart and without complaining. Once again they receive a prize at the end of the week. And you will have many more ideas I know.
May God give you great wisdom today as you seek to train the ears of your children so they will not only be "quick" to hear and obey you, but quick to hear and obey God.
Love from Nancy
