PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 139: COURTSHIP AND WEDDINGS, PT 2

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 139: COURTSHIP AND WEDDINGS, Part 2

Allison Hartman joins me again for this session as we talk more about courtship and weddings. When God's blessing is upon the land, there will be many weddings with joy and celebration. When God's curse is upon the land, there will be few weddings!

We talk about how a wedding is the theme of the Bible. Jesus came to this earth to die, and shed His precious blood to redeem us, and make us His bride. It all culminates in a great wedding, the “marriage supper of the Lamb.” Have we truly entered into the glory, and the fullness, and the truth of what marriage is all about?

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Well, I still have Allison Hartman with me, and we thought we'd like to talk a little bit more about courting and weddings. But before we get on to that, I just want to give you a Scripture. This Scripture came out in our service yesterday.

We had a beautiful service, and of course, there were so many wonderful words that came forth. But someone got up and read this Scripture, and it really arrested me. Actually it was your husband, Daniel. It's Isaiah 1:27. It says, “Zion shall be redeemed with justice, and her converts with righteousness... and they that forsake the Lord shall be consumed.”

I felt that relates so much to what we are facing in our nation, because we are still facing, at this moment, ladies, we are facing an illegitimate, fake, illegal election. We have a president who has usurped the presidency because he did not win. Oh yes, if you listen to fake news, you will think that he did. But the truth, honest reporting, of course, is that President Trump overwhelmingly won this election.

We, as the people of God, cannot side with lies. We cannot side with that which is injustice, and that which is abominable, because anything that is not justice is abominable to God. But here it says, that “Zion will be redeemed with justice.” And the only way, really, our nation can be redeemed from this situation is with justice.

Now how can that happen? I don't know, dear ladies. But I do know that God hears our prayers. He hears the cries of our heart. I would like to think that every God-fearing person is crying out to God for justice, true justice. Because that's the only way we can be redeemed and restored to that which is right.

So keep praying. Can I just encourage you to keep praying? We are keeping on praying, and we will not give up until we see justice in our nation. Because this is the only way we can have the blessing of God. We can't have the blessing of God on injustice and that which is completely false. So don't give up praying, will you?

Well, we just wanted to talk a little bit more about weddings and courting because this is part of life. Maybe you could talk a little bit more, perhaps, about Josiah and McKenna's courtship, Allison.

Allison: Sure, sure. So like we said in the last session, we just had our first daughter get married. Out of 11 children, this is our first go at it. We actually haven't had any, she has not had any relationships. So this was her first ever young man to even come asking permission to get to know her.

Nancy: Don't you love that? That has been the same with all our grandchildren who have gotten married. None of them have had girlfriends or boyfriends. It's not even in their psyche. They just can't even think like that.

Each time they have seen the girl, and God just sort of quickened that person to them, and to know, “That's my wife for life!” And they just pursued and stuck with it. Never ever thought of another girl. I just love that.

I believe that's how it was meant to be, because I believe, I strongly believe, that God brings us together. When you go back to the beginning, what does it say? The very beginning? Everything that's written is for our future.

What was written in Genesis was God's perfect plan for the way he wanted the rest of mankind to live. And it says, “and God brought the woman to the man.” God did this. God did it. You saw how God did it for McKenna. I watched how God did it for our children and our grandchildren. We just want to do it biblically, don't we? Carry on.

Allison: And I think, as far as what we're seeing, culture versus what we got to experience with our daughter, it's the way, I guess, maybe in contrast to the way I was raised, and the way we did it growing up. The phrases, “You date around, you play the field, you see what's out there.” So that's all I really had known.

But deep in me, I realized that that really isn't the best. The best would be to only date your husband, to only date your wife. So when we met, McKenna met her husband now, we were pretty strong on wanting to encourage them to be very, very careful with anything physical. Our reasoning was, until they said I do, they belong, she belongs to her father.

I read a book recently, a man in our church is almost 90, and the title of the book was, To Whom Does She Belong? It was so neat. In there it said, a young lady belongs to her father until the day she says, “I do.”

So anything she's doing physically, spiritually, or emotionally with another man, if she's not going to marry him, then she has to say to her husband, “Wow, I actually have been holding hands with another man. I actually have been kissing on another man. I actually got emotionally . . . ” So then people will say, “What do you do?”

Well, Josiah was 23, McKenna was 21 when they met. So yes, they were adults. However, I think when you're in your parents' home, your parents are still calling the shots. But in saying that, we wanted it to be their idea. So, thankfully, McKenna had decided that she wanted to save her first kiss for her wedding day, which they did.

Josiah didn't have that same conviction. But because it was our daughter, she let him know that that's what they were going to do. We were so grateful that they did do that, because yes, they did end up getting married. But up until the time they said, “I do,” he could have become anyone's husband, hopefully not once they got engaged!

But you've heard of couples calling it off, or they decided it wasn't working out. So for our family, later on, I asked them, “Was it worth it to wait for that first kiss?” And they both said, “Absolutely!”

It was hard. They went a year, almost a year and a half, dating, courting, whatever you want to call it, getting to know each other. But they did save that first kiss. They really didn't even hold hands much, a little bit. We weren't strict on that particular thing, but we were very careful.

He lived at our place for a year. That, I also think, is very important. Couples get to know each other on the phone, or Facetime, or just randomly, here and there. It's kind of hard to get to know someone. We enjoyed the fact that they really got to know each other. We got to see his work ethic. We got to see his moods.

Of course, we were happy with what we saw. But it could have been the other way. So I think they really, like Trae and Chalice, they entered marriage very innocent and pure. I just think it's so neat.

Your friends, the Wallers, did the betrothal. When we went to Israel, we stayed with them. We learned how they do their courting and their betrothal. Not everyone's going do it that way, but I think that concept of fathers and mothers keeping their daughters and their sons as pure as possible before that wedding day is so important.

When you have dating couples, and they're sitting on each other’s laps, and they're loving on each other, and they're looking like an old married couple, I don't think that's very healthy. I don't think it's very wise. Unfortunately, I'm seeing it a lot, even in Christian circles.

It's a very. . . I don't even see married couples doing that in front of people! You don't have . . . So if you're a mother or a father and you don't know really how to handle it, I think you should handle it. I think it is the parents' role, if their daughters and sons are not making good choices, and they're being way too physical, it is the father's responsibility to say, “No. That's not something I'm OK with.”

But it's even better to start it from the beginning instead of backing up and saying, “OK, I know you have been kissing for six months now, but I'd rather you just not.” That's almost impossible.

But I think if you're a mom or a dad, and you're just now starting to have children come of the age of relationships, I think it's so important to make a decision now. What do you want it to look like on their wedding day? I can tell you from personal experience, it was a wonderful pleasure to see them kiss for the first time on their wedding day. There was that total innocence that we all got to witness.

Just the other day, I asked McKenna, “So how's marriage?” They've only been married two months. She said, “Better than I expected.” Unfortunately, if you've already experienced marriage while you're dating, because you're so physically involved, you really are stealing yourself. I can't . . .

Nancy: You've been robbed.

Allison: You've been robbed. I just really want to encourage you mothers and fathers out there to think about that. And not think, “Well, it's really not my responsibility. It's theirs. They're going to have to make up their own minds.” Who are they going to hear that from? You've got to train them, even when they're in their twenties, I think.

Nancy: Amen! But I think it's so wonderful, having weddings, not only for the couple getting married, but for everyone who comes. I believe we need to be reminded that every wedding is a reminder of God's ultimate love. Because the whole of the Bible is a wedding story. It's there from Genesis to Revelation!

In fact, Jesus, He left the glory of heaven, and He came to this earth to die and shed His blood and take upon Him our sins and our sicknesses. We'll never understand that depth and the enormity of what He did for us! I mean, I love to every single day of my life, I make it a commitment to thank the Lord for His great salvation, and taking my place upon the cross, and enabling me to have a down payment for eternity.

But it was all, it was all to get a bride! To get a bride! He sacrificed, He shed His blood, to get a bride. We just come to the end of Revelation and it culminates in Him getting a bride.

We go over to Revelation 19, right at the end of the Bible. It says, in verses 7-9, “Let us be glad and rejoice, and give honor to Him: for the marriage of the Lamb is come, and His wife hath made herself ready. And to her was granted that she should be arrayed in fine linen, clean and white: for the fine linen is the righteousness of saints. And He said unto me, Write, 'Blessed are those which are called to the marriage supper of the Lamb.'”

And that's the culmination of the whole Bible! The marriage supper of the Lamb! What a feast that will be! What a celebration that will be!

As we know, yet we don't know, don't you feel like that? We know the truth, but yes, marriage is the picture of Christ and the Bride. We read the truth. We know the truth. But do we really know it? I don't think we do.

I don't think I know it. I mean, I think I know it a little more, the more that we are married. I think little by little, my husband and I have come into more and more of the glory of marriage. But even then, I'm still so shallow in the absolute fullness, and the glory, of what God wants us to experience. Because it is meant to be this picture, this experience of the Christ, Who is our Bridegroom, and we, who are His Bride.

As we want to, as we want to love God passionately with all our hearts, well, we show it by loving our husband passionately with all our heart. If we really know, OK, we show to our children, and to the world, how much we really love God by how much we love our husband. Wow! Wooo. And how we honor him and how we relate to him. Boy, that's a challenge, isn't it?

Oh, I love that quote by John Piper. It's one of my favorite quotes about marriage:

“There has never been a generation

whose view of marriage is high enough.”

I pray that God will help me, help us all, to come into more understanding, beyond our finite understanding, of the glory of marriage, and what we can experience that we haven't yet even experienced, and what we are to show to our children and to show to the world.

In fact, our experience as a married couple should be so glorious that our children look forward to also experiencing that! There are many people, young people, growing up today that don't even want to get married, because, help, their parents are divorced, their marriages have just been, oh goodness me, it's been nothing, opposite to glory. And they don't even want to get married.

But our marriage relationship should cause our children to look forward to it, and say, “Oh, I can't wait for the day when I can enter into the glory!” Because that is what it's meant to be, the glory!

It's good to have weddings! Because weddings remind us of the ultimate wedding, the ultimate plan, the ultimate plan of the ages, which is the marriage supper of the Lamb, when we will truly, truly, be united as His Bride. Oh, my, how incredible!

Lord God, please help us, help us to understand. Oh, Lord God, I ask that You will take me from my not understanding into your glorious truth about marriage!

So it's sad when we, there are many couples today who don't even bother about a wedding. They just go and start living together. They don't have a marriage celebration! They don't even have their vows! I mean, it's totally antipathy to what God wants! So it is important to have, I believe, a glorious marriage celebration, because it's a type of the ultimate marriage feast that there will be.

There are some couples who think, “Oh well, let's just get it over quick. Let's just . . . ” In fact, Colin marries many young couples. One of the saddest things he finds is when a couple will say, “Well, we just want a quick service. We just want to get it over quick, so we can get away.”

I beg your pardon? The wedding celebration is to celebrate! It's not to get it over quick. Back in biblical days, they often would have a week's celebration! I believe that when we come to a wedding, that we should come for the whole wedding. We're going to stay to the end!

When we first came to America, oh, goodness me! We could not believe it! Because back Down Under in New Zealand where we lived, weddings were a celebration. When people came to weddings, they came to the service. They stayed for the reception.

At our receptions, they weren't just a quick, “OK, have a bite to eat and run.” No! We had a celebration! We would have speeches, and we would have beautiful items of people singing, and maybe sharing. It was a . . .

I remember our wedding. It was a full day conference! It was just unbelievable! It was like going to a conference! But that's how they're meant to be, not this, “Quick! Get it over with!” No! What do you think about that?

Allison: Yeah, definitely. It shows us where we're at with our times. You're doing a quick this, a quick that. What priority are you putting on that? I loved how Chalice, she had so many different speakers come up, and do some toasts and speakers. They will remember that forever.

With our wedding, we did the same. We had several real special people to us share and be a part of both the ceremony and the reception. It needs to be just an amazing day that you'll never forget. But it'll start the beginning of a lifetime together.

Nancy: Yes, yes. Now, so many people don't understand today, but back in New Zealand, and this was typical of an English wedding, there was a protocol. There are very few who understand the protocol today. But there are specific speeches that are meant to be given.

Now you're meant to have the speech from the best man. It should be obligatory for him to give a speech. That's a wonderful thing. Because he's so close to the bridegroom, he can tell great stories about the bridegroom.

And then there is the speech from the father of the bride, and the speech from the father of the bridegroom. The mothers also can speak too. Then there is the protocol of, this is a beautiful thing I rarely see today. That is, that there will be someone who is asked to give a speech on the behalf of the bride's family.

Because there are two families coming together. So there's someone who's appointed, someone who knows them so well, who will give a speech about the bride's family, and talk about them, about who they are, their good points, and some funny stories about them. So all the people who don't know that side of the family, they get to hear about them.

And then there is appointed someone who gives a speech about the bridegroom's family and talks about this family. And they get to know this family. They hear some funny stories about them. They hear about who they really are, and their good points. So the two families are being brought together in those speeches.

Allison: That's neat.

Nancy: So these are obligatory speeches. Then of course, they open it up to others who would like to speak. And then the culminating speech of the day is the bridegroom's speech. There are today people who don't even get the bridegroom speech! The bridegroom doesn't speak. That's that culminating speech of the day!

So if you are thinking about a wedding that's coming up soon in your family, just keep these things in mind. There are certain things that are so good. Keep that tradition.

Then of course, we love to add, if other people want to speak. Often members of the bridal party love to speak because they know the bridal party so well. So those are good things to do at a reception. People should not leave until the speeches and until the end, and until you say goodbye to the bridal couple.

Now what happened when we came from New Zealand and we went to a wedding? We could not even believe it! Because people came to the reception, and they just had their little cake and a few things to eat, and suddenly, they were all disappearing! “OK, we're done now! Let's go!”

In fact, at Evangeline's and Howard's wedding, because when we came to the States, we came and the first thing we had to do was put on a wedding for them. So we came to a country we did not know. We drove to Minneapolis, where they were living, into a city where we'd never been. We find an apartment, and we put on a wedding in a city we didn't even know. So we put on this great wedding.

And then we had all the plans that we had for the reception like we were used to doing. Oh, we could not believe it! Before we could even get started on the speeches, half the people had gone! We couldn't believe it! There were just a few faithful left!

Allison: Wow!

Nancy: We could not believe it! And so when Serene and Sam were getting married, I thought, “I'm not having this!” So I put on the wedding invitation, “We invite you to the ceremony of Serene and Sam, but we will also be having a reception. We would love you to stay to the end.” And we will be locking the doors... (laughing) No, we didn't!

Allison: (laughing)

Nancy: I felt like saying that, but we didn't say that. I would have liked to have said it! But we also talked to the people who were coming. We said, “Look, this is how we have a wedding. We don't just, OK, have a bit of cake and run. No, we celebrate!”

So it was great. In fact, it was a cold, gray day, and we were inside. We had this big fire in this place where we had it, and it was cozy and lovely, and people didn't want to go out in the rain anyway. So we had a glorious, glorious, glorious reception, which was wonderful! But we think to do that. So these things are important.

In fact, after Serene and Sam's wedding, they went off on their honeymoon, but we had people who had come in from all over this state, even overseas. We just celebrated for the next three days. We had leftover food, and we just celebrated and had a wonderful time!

So weddings are important, and they are meant to be times of rejoicing! What does it say? The marriage supper of the Lamb? Let us be glad and rejoice! One of the things, how we rejoice, is sing. Sing! There are some people who don't even sing at weddings! How can you have a wedding service and not sing? Oh, goodness me! No, I believe we have to sing, don't you? I do! Sing! Worship! Celebrate! Rejoice! Oh, goodness me! Yes, yes, yes!

Let's go over to Jeremiah 33. Here it's talking about how that God is going to bring back the captivity of Judah. Verse 7, “And I will cause the captivity of Judah and the captivity of Israel to return, and will build them as at the first. And I will cleanse them from all their iniquity, whereby they have sinned against Me; and I will pardon all their iniquities, whereby they have sinned, and whereby they have transgressed against Me. And it shall be to Me a name of joy, a praise, and an honor before all the nations of the earth, which shall hear all the good that I do unto them: and they shall fear and tremble for all the goodness and for all the prosperity that I procure unto it.”

How is this going to happen? The very first thing He does is, talk about weddings! Here it says, “And thus saith the Lord again; Again there shall be heard in the place...the voice of joy, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride, the voice of them that shall say, praise the Lord of Hosts: for the Lord is good; for His mercy endureth forever!”

Allison: Wow!

Nancy: The first thing God says about bringing back the prosperity and the blessing to His people who had been taken from their land, “I'm bringing them back now.” And the first thing He talks about, there's going to be weddings! There's going to be weddings again! Yes! And there's going to be the voice of joy, and the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride! Hallelujah!

You see, that's God. That's God's heart. That's what God wants. The more weddings there are in the land, the more the blessing of God in the land. People seem to have forgotten that. But then, conversely, we see the opposite, because we go over to some other Scriptures.

Let's see, I think I wrote them down somewhere so I could give them to you, for this is when the people turn away from the Lord. And we go to Jeremiah 7:34. This is when they have sinned and turned away from the Lord: “Then I will cause to cease from the cities of Judah, and from the streets of Jerusalem, the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride: for the land shall be desolate.”

That is God's curse. When we don't have weddings, we're not rejoicing with the married couples coming on, that's God's curse. And He doesn't just say it once. We go over to chapter 16, verse 9, and He says it again. Wow, This is strong on God's heart, yes: “For thus saith the Lord of Hosts . . . I will cause to cease out of this place . . .  the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, and the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride.”

Let's go to 25:10. And here it is, again. OK, 25:10. Because they have turned away from the Lord, He says: “Moreover, I will take from them the voice of mirth, and the voice of gladness, and the voice of the bridegroom, and the voice of the bride.”

Allison: Wow!

Nancy: Isn't that powerful? God's blessing is the celebration of marriage. His curse is when there are no more weddings. Weddings are not taking place. Isn't that powerful?

Allison: Wow. Wow!

Nancy: You see, this is God. This is the Word of God. We need to start living this lifestyle! Amen?

Allison: Right.

Nancy: Oh, I love it, don't you?

Allison: Yes, and it's so concerning and scary that where we're at in our country, with this whole gender confusion!

Nancy: Oh, please!

Allison: And this garbage about . . .  Can you imagine? That's exactly what's going to happen, is the family will cease to happen.

Nancy:  And we, can you believe it? Well, you know too, and we all know that Joe Biden has already appointed a transgender person to his staff. I mean, and you look at the picture. Oh please, Lord, you cannot . . . It's so terrible! And this is right in the highest places of our land.

Allison: Right. So they're elevating it to make it look so glorious. But if you really get down to it, someone living in a homosexual or transgender lifestyle, they will completely . . . All humanity will end in one generation. They won't . . .

Nancy: I know. Because God just loves weddings. He loves us to rejoice. They're not meant to be morbid, boring things, where people are sort of mumbling along some song, if they do have a hymn at a wedding. No, we're meant to sing with all our hearts! Wasn't it great at Chally and Trae's wedding, singing that blessing?

Allison: Oh, I loved that! The last song of the ceremony. What was that called? I'm trying to remember.

Nancy: “The Lord Bless You and Keep You.” Yes, “and to a thousand generations, your children and your children's children.” And we were all just reaching out our hands, and just singing this blessing!

Allison: In fact, I caught it on video. I videotaped it. It was so neat, because I got a vision of . . . In my video camera, I got you reaching out your hands to them, Granddad reaching out his hands, and then I could see Sam and Serene, and then Trae's hands. It was so neat!

It almost gave me chills to see the bride and groom, and then the grandparents, and the parents, all reaching their hands out. And that visual, and then the song, “We bless you to your generations, and your children's generations.” It was such a neat little moment!

Nancy: And you see, that's the thing, it's not just the wedding. It's to your children and your children's children. That's why God loves weddings! Because out of weddings there's going to come babies and children who are going to bring the Image of God into the earth! It's all God's plan! So glorious!

Anyway, at the end of the wedding, I said a poem, not a poem, it's just a prose. I wrote it a while back for one of my other granddaughters, when she was getting married. I'll read it to you. It's called:

What is Marriage?

~ A formidable force!

One man, one woman,

Fused into one.

God's plan! Is there a better?

There is none.

One body, one flesh—

Indescribable!

One purpose, one vision—

Unconquerable!

One soul, one spirit—

Invincible!

What is the foundation?

Praying together daily—

High priority.

Reading God's Word together daily—

Paramount for success.

What does it take?

Sacrificial love.

Yielding and submissiveness.

No longer “me,” but “you.”

Laying down my life.

Delighting to serve.

Sticking together through thick and thin.

What is the fruit?

A union that cannot be broken.

A union that survives the storms of life.

A union that forges a path for God in this world.

A union that builds a godly generation

   for now and for generations to come.

What is the power?

A God-fearing family that is formidable to the enemy.

Such is the power of marriage!

May God lift us up to a new understanding of the power of marriage. The Word of God says in Ecclesiastes 4:9: “Two are better than one.” That's God's Word, His truth. It's better to be married. “Two are better than one,” God says. So when we get married, we're in the better company. We are in a better place, because we have two who are made one, and we have power as two made one.

We have power in prayer, because Jesus said: “If two of you are gathered together in My Name, there am I in the midst. And if two of you shall agree on anything, it shall be done for them of My Father, which is in heaven” (Matthew 18:19, 20).

I believe this is one of the greatest deceptions in marriage today that most married couples don't even pray together. And they're missing out on this power! “If two of you shall agree!” Wow! What power we have in marriage!

So hallelujah, ladies! OK, let's pray, shall we?

“Lord, we thank You for showing us more of the joy You have over marriages. Help us to understand it. Help us to make, Lord, our marriages, and our wedding days for our children, glorious occasions, feast days, celebration days, rejoicing days. Because, Lord, that's Your plan, and You want to come into the midst, Lord, and pour out Your blessing, because this is Your plan. And we praise You and thank You. In Jesus' Name, Amen.”

Transcribed by Darlene Norris.

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