Episode 31: Growing In Motherhood

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Rocky: Welcome to the podcast FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy: Hello ladies. I'm blessed to have Pam Fields with us again today, so I know you're going to enjoy her. I think we will find out a little bit more about you today, Pam. Now, when you started motherhood, tell me what it was like in your beginning days, and what thoughts did you have when you went into motherhood?

Pam: Well, while my husband and I were dating, he said he wanted to have four children because that's what he grew up with, was four.  I thought, well, that's a lot, but I always planned to have one or two. I thought I'd have one or two and work full time. That was so much of what you heard.

Nancy: That's what your mother did, didn't she?

Pam: Yes, there were three of us, and she worked full-time, so I always assumed I would have one or two and work full time. When he said four and I want you to stay home with them, I thought, “Wow, what a deal. That sounds great.” We had one and then 17 months later the second.

Nancy: Isn't that interesting? Oh wait, you had Emma 17 months later. I had my twins 17 months later.

Pam: Yes, so I had Caleb then 17 months later, Emma and then the twins. It was four under four years, so that was it. We had our plan; we had four. It takes a little while to get your feet under you after the twins and the toddlers, organizing everything and the busy years, and then we realized, if they all come within four years, they are all going to leave within four years. You hear about all these empty nesters and how hard it is to adjust, and boy, we better do something. We don't want to be lonely and bored too soon, so we thought, “Well, we better have one more because we don't want to be bored, and we don't want to be lonely too soon. They are all going to go within four years.

Nancy: What about those who stop at two? Then they have all those years, all those years, and the children grow so quickly. To me, it was like one blink of my eye and my children were grown, and then it's a whole new life. I couldn't imagine just having two children. I wish I had more around me.

Pam: It doesn't feel like it when they are all little. The perspective of when you're a new mom or a young mom with only little ones, and people say the days are long, but the years are short. It didn't make sense to me until I had adult children. It was like, are they ever going to grow up? Then you shake yourself and go, wait, they grew up; it's done, and it's like, oh my goodness, that's beyond you.

Nancy: I always used to think I didn't have enough time. I wanted more time to input into their lives. It just goes so quickly.

Pam: That's true, so we had one more, our fifth. Our plan was that we would have just the one more so that we would not be lonely and bored. It was purely selfishness on our part, we just wanted the next one for us. It was funny, during her pregnancy, well, the funny part is I had been reading Above Rubies since my firstborn was a few months old. I had been reading that, and I had read about large families, but I didn't catch a vision for it.

Here, I'm pregnant with my fifth, and it was during her pregnancy that I started seeking the Lord on it.  I was thinking, “Maybe we were making this decision on our own, maybe not weighing in so much for what the Lord wanted for us. My husband was saying this the other night here, I had forgotten about it, but I put a book in the bathroom about sterilization options and the choices and all of this, and it had a real godly focus, so I just put it in there. Apparently, on his own and on my own, we were both traveling this journey, and then we kind of decided after that. If the Bible says children are a blessing, and they are a gift from God, who are we to say that I just don't want any more blessings from You, God? Please stop giving me gifts, enough is enough, stop right there. It was during that fifth pregnancy that our hearts changed, and we said, “I accept these blessings and these gifts from You and thank You for them.” On they came, six, seven, eight, and nine. They are all blessings, and they are all gifts.

Nancy: How old is Eli now, your youngest?

Pam: Eli is five and a half, so it's new stage of life. Lots of fun.

Nancy: No more little ones coming on. It comes to that stage, doesn't it?

Pam: Yes and no, because no more little ones are coming in my house. My daughter is now married, and she has a two-year-old and is expecting another. It's so natural; God has moved us straight in from parenting our own to having toddlers. It's a beautiful thing.

Nancy: That is how it is meant to be. That's how God designed it. That is why He made mothers to be in their childbearing years until they reach menopause. That can be round about 50 years of age but some younger, sometimes some a little older. Oh wow, am I going to have children until I'm 50? The average time that mothers become infertile is about 45 today. Anyway, it’s not a very long window in our lives, even twenty to forty is only about twenty years. It's so short in the length of our lives. It's the years of visitation where God can bless us.

As we get older, fertility is not like when we were younger and some stop having children sooner than others. Sometimes they come slower as you get older, but we are in those childbearing years, and then by the time you have stopped childbearing, you have children who are at the age of getting married, especially if they are prepared for marriage.

We have so many young people today who are in their mid-twenties, late-twenties, early-thirties, who are not getting married, but I think one of the reasons is that they haven't been mentally and spiritually prepared for marriage. They haven't grown up in families where there are children around, and the society doesn't really talk a lot about marriage.

Young people shack up together and even Christian couples may not want to do that, but many times, they do fall into fornication because they are not getting married. They are hanging out together and getting older, and their very natural instincts they cannot fulfill, and that's not how it's meant to be. I think God intended young people to get married at a reasonably young age. Then, as they embrace children, which hopefully they will if they're not brainwashed by our society. Then, like you are enjoying. Your children have stopped coming, but now, your daughter's children are coming. There's always babies around, and there's no empty nest.

Pam: No, we will never have an empty nest. Ever.

Nancy: God never planned the empty nest syndrome. It's not meant to be.

Pam: That's true.

Nancy: Isn't that wonderful?

Pam: Yes, so when I look at knowing we had a had a plan for four, and then we decided on five and then when God took over, that was the other six, seven, eight, and nine. It's funny. I'm not a real emotional person, but sometimes I look at those little faces, and they come up, and they talk to me, and all the sudden, it hits me. I could have chosen to never have you. By my choice and my will, you could have never been here. I just have a heart of gratefulness that they are here, and I have no idea what God has planned for them. We never know the plans we would miss out on, or the blessing we would have missed out on had we said, “That's it, tidy up, we're done, make this finished, I'm complete.” I'm not generally an emotional person, but sometimes it brings me to tears when I look at those. I've even told some of them, “You're a bonus. Most people wouldn't have you because you're number, you know, whatever.” They say, Really?” I say, “No, but I'm so glad I have you.”

Nancy: That's beautiful. Yes, and they are meant to be here. You think of children that God intended to be here, and they're not here. Not only stopping children through contraception but even when we go to the abortion field. To think there have been 60 million babies aborted since Roe vs. Wade.

You think of 60 million people in the workforce in our nation. Can you imagine how many of these could have been amazing people? Geniuses, inventors, wonderful fathers and mothers who would have had more children. We would not have to be bringing into our nation all these people from foreign countries to help the workforce because we would have had our own. We have gone so far away from God's ways by rejecting children.

Many, even in the Christian church, sadly, will stop having children, but they are not only stopping a baby, they are stopping a dynasty, a whole dynasty. Think of how many children they actually do stop because one child is not an island of itself. They will grow, get married and have children, so we stop a dynasty.  We stop the filling of eternity. You know, I've had people say to me, “God's not interested in the natural. In the New Testament, it's all the spiritual.” Well, yes, it is spiritual but still practical. God wants souls born into His kingdom. How are souls going to be born into the kingdom of God and enjoy the glories of heaven if they are not born into this world. We deprive people of eternity. Imagine it, these children that you have are going to enjoy the glories of eternity. How sad that they could never have enjoyed that just because you said, “No, I don't want anymore.”

Pam: Yes, and that first article I wrote for Above Rubies, it was in issue 91, and we had a pyramid that we showed. My husband's grandfather and grandmother. I believe he was first generation Christian, and from the two of them, they had seven children, and from those seven children, each of those had at least three or four, most of them had four, if I'm remembering right. Then there's the cousins which is my husband's generation, most of them had children, and then the next generation down would be my daughter's.

Nancy: That's a fifth generation.

Pam: Yes, and I asked my father-in-law's aunts the other time, one of them is the statistician in the family, and she messaged me last night with the numbers, and she said we are about up to 150.

Nancy: From two people.

Pam: Yes, from two people. You think what I do maybe isn't that important and the impact that I make maybe isn't that important. It's just these small little things I'm doing. But these small things multiply in God's hands. It multiples, and we may never see our five generations down, but it doesn't mean that God isn't there in that and working. To be part of that is an amazing thing.

Nancy: As your children grew, did you send them off to school or did you have a vision for homeschooling? What did you do with that?

Pam: I had never heard of homeschooling before. I grew up in public school my whole life. I had never even heard of it. One day, I went out to my mailbox to get my mail, and there was another lady that lived on our cult-de-sac going to get her mail, and she had all her children with her, all six which I thought, “What in the world? You have six.” I only had two, and I had never known anybody who had six, ever. They were home, and I thought that was the oddest thing. Why are they home? Shouldn't they be in school?

She invited me over, and I came in, and her children played with mine and we became good friends. She told me, “Well, we homeschool, and this is why.” It was an unknown concept to me completely, and I started to have a curiosity. I told my husband, “I think I might want to homeschool; I think I might want to teach them”. He said, “Well, I'm not sure if they are going to get the academics. I'm not sure long term, so I will let you do it for kindergarten, first grade, maybe second or third, but by third, they will need to be in school, for sure.”

“Ok, let's do it.” We started kindergarten with my oldest. When he was in kindergarten, the twins were just toddling around, and I was feeling overwhelmed and can I do this? So, for three months, we sent our son to the local public school, just for three months, and started around spring break until the end of the year and I noticed behaviors in kindergarten. He used to play with the toddlers, the little boys, and he'd play with his sister, and he'd come home saying things like, “I'm not going to play with her, she's a girl. I'm not going to play with them, they're babies.” When we brought him out for the end of the school year, we said, “That does not cultivate family and the love between siblings that we want to cultivate. We are going to go back to this homeschool.” We never went back to public school or private school. We've been on the homeschool journey.

Nancy: You got convinced along the way.

Pam: Part of it was when we brought him home, and I think I was a little bit still on probationary period but somewhere between that first grade to third grade, we went to our local homeschool conference, which was not high on his list to go to. He'll tell you that. It was an anniversary gift for me.

I said, “For our anniversary, will you please go to the homeschool conference with me?” And he said, “When is it?”

 “It's a two day.”

“Well, I can give my time for one day, but I don't feel the need to go back two. By the end of the first day, he said, “What time does it start in the morning?”

Nancy: Wow! Amazing!

Pam: We went back for day two and then continued every year. I think we've been twelve or thirteen years now. Now, my husband is a great homeschool advocate, and we ran our homeschool association where we live in our town and yeah . . . 

Nancy: Of course, Pam, you're not in the throes of homeschooling little ones, but you've got children who have graduated. Tell me, how did it work out?

Pam: As far as the final product?

Nancy: Yes, because you've got four of them now that have graduated.

Pam: Yes, I do. I can't believe that four that have licenses, four that have graduated, and every time one graduates, “Oh, we did it, this is done.” They are all completely successful. My oldest works within the family business. My husband says he's the best employee he's ever had.

Nancy: Yes, well, your husband was telling me last night, as a business man, how difficult it is to get good employees. How he has employees who've got degrees after their names, but they are really hopeless.

Pam: I think that something that has really become apparent to me over the years and given me confidence in my homeschooling is that we can train academics, and we can seek after and run after academics and a rigorous academic schedule. But if we do not raise children with biblical values, with virtue, with loyalty, and a heart of discernment, then we've kind of wasted our time a little bit. We can add the academics later.

We live in a time of information overload. You can go and get information so quickly that the academics aren't as high on our list anymore. Many times, my husband has employed people, and he says, “They are smart, but they don't show up to work, and sometimes they steal from you, and there's all sorts of things.” I would rather have a child of less academics and still be all these good character with godly values, to know the Word, and that's truly what the anchor needs to be. He said, “I can always teach an employee what the academics need to be.”

 If we raise our children with godly principles and values and a love for Him and a knowledge and thirst for how to get that information when they do need it, then they will always be employed. You don't need to worry that they aren't going to have the right academics, so they won't get employed. No, they will always be employed. The workforce is thirsty for people who show up to work and show up to work in time with a good and cheerful attitude, who are respectful. They are thirsty for that. Your children will always have a job if you train them. You can fill in the gaps of the academics later. I graduated from public high school with honors, and I still need to fill in my academics. I didn't learn everything there.

Nancy: Your husband was telling me last night about a study, and I was very interested in it. You might have to help me remember it, but it was about how they were checking out these children in high school and then as they went through college. They found that these people leaving high school and as they went into college, that each year they actually became dumber. Because our colleges now, instead of trying to impart the real knowledge that they need, they are just brainwashing places for the leftist ideology. They are only concerned about brainwashing the young people of this nation with the leftist and socialist ideas, and they are less worried about real knowledge. They found that every year they become dumber, and by the time they graduated college, they were actually dumber than when they were at high school.

Pam: They kind of lost some of their critical thinking skills.

Nancy: Yes, because they are no longer able to debate and reason and talk out things. I think this is something that is very important in gaining knowledge. Discussion, and other people's ideas, and being able to talk about them, and then see right through as you have both sides, and then you've got to see truth. They are not allowed to hear anything that is of God or original truth. It's all leftist ideology. That's all they get. They no longer even reason. They don't know how to reason or anything. They've become whatever they are told. That's what they believe. That's it.

Pam: I think at one of the homeschool conferences, truly, instead of spending $60,000 dollars to $100,000 dollars on a college education for your child, you'd do much better to get a franchise and have them go work a franchise. Don't get into that academia.

We have a son who is pursuing dentistry. For him, he will have to go to college. Dentistry is something you can't really YouTube. You have to learn how to do it through the school, and you have to get your certification and all that. He'll have to but he may be a unique one out of our nine. He may be the only one who ever goes to college. I think we've been brainwashed by society that says, “Oh, they have to go to college. They have to go to college.”

I think we are at a time that we, with our critical thinking skills, need to sit back and say, is college truly necessary? Where are we going and what is our ultimate goal? You'll know by each one of your children. They all have a different bent and different personality and passion to strive after. You're asking about my homeschooling, and I tell people we are kind of homeschool light. We don't pursue it hard. We're not crazy hard on the academics, and I don't stand up in front of my children and lecture and teach. We do a lot of self-taught. We border on unschooling. I'm not the academic one; that's my husband.

Nancy: He is a very academic man.

Pam: He is very academic, and for him to say, “You know what, the academics aren't that important to me, I'd rather focus on these.” That was a big statement.

Nancy: Because he has seen it and experienced it with his employees.

Pam: Yes.

Nancy: He was telling me also that many businesses today, because of the type of people that are coming to them, they would rather get a young man or woman who is diligent and intelligent but get them before they go to college because they can teach them what they need to know for their business. They will be able to teach them far better than when they've been propagandized with leftist ideology and have not really been trained, ready to be the kind of employee that they want to have.

Pam: Looking at my oldest four, the ones who have graduated, the one who needed to have the academics, who does intend to be a dentist, you know what, God gave him a passion for science. He gave him a passion for knowledge, and He gave him a skill to take tests amazingly. You know what, that's not the skill that his twin brother has, but God had a different purpose and a plan for them, and He will put that in them because that's the one who needs it. Isaac needs to pursue that dentistry; he needs that academic. God put that in him. It's nothing I did. I didn't say, “You must have college.”

Then, there's the twin, Ben, who is much more physical. He's much more active. He couldn't stand any test. He couldn't stand any academics, so he is perfectly suited for what he is now doing, which is why we got to enjoy this trip with you because we are going to see him at his army graduation. He's done amazingly well.

Nancy: They are all succeeding in the different areas. He's already been chosen to be the leader of his squad, because he has got that. He's someone who's going to make things happen. He gets what he wants. He's already a leader.

Pam: Right and he's eighteen. He's just eighteen. There was no way I could train him. “Oh, someday I think you'll be in the army therefore we are going to study this. I think, you are going to be a dentist, therefore we are going to study this. I think you're going to do, etc.” Instead, let's teach them godly values, let's teach them the Lord, let's give them a general knowledge and a general education, and let them pursue passions and follow, and the Lord will fulfil His purposes in them.

Nancy: Yes. I think we have often the wrong concept of schooling. I myself believe that knowledge is very important. Proverbs 19:2 says, “That the soul be without knowledge it is not good.” I love that Scripture because it says: “that the soul.” It doesn't even say: “that the mind.”

Sometimes, we try to fill our minds with knowledge, and yes, we've got to; that's part of it. We are going to stimulate our minds, and we are going to study to find out these things that we are passionate about. But there's something about the soul being filled with knowledge. I think that having a passion for knowledge is in us. I believe that it is in every person, a passion and a longing for knowledge. Because our God is the God of all knowledge. That's who He is. Everything, every attribute of God is not, “Oh, this is a little attribute of God.” No, God is the fullness of every attribute, the fullness. All knowledge is found in Him. Colossians 3:3 says: “In whom are hid ALL the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.”

Because that's “in Him” and we are created in His image, there should be a desire and a longing and a passion for knowledge. I believe this is the greatest thing we can do in our schooling, in our homeschooling. Give our children this passion for knowledge so that they long for it. It's not so much, “Ok, I've got to teach them this.”

This is how my brain thinks. First of all, we start off with public schooling. I often think, “How come we are such victims?” There was some person or a group of people that decided these are the subjects that the children of our nation are going to learn, and we will create the textbooks, and we will put in them what we want them to know.” I have one of my lovely Above Rubies helpers, who is with us at the moment. She was mostly homeschooled but did go to high school for a year or so. She said her history textbook had one paragraph on Christianity and a whole chapter on Islam. Some group of people are deciding what the children will learn. What authority do they have? How crazy are we, as victims, who say, “Yes, we will follow that. Yes, whatever this person decides. They didn't have any authority to say what my children will learn. But no, I will do that.”

So, we send them all off to school. Of course, there were years ago when they could get away with it. But now, they can't get away with it because this indoctrination, this propagandizing of this leftist ideology is not just in the colleges. It's starting right in the beginning of kindergarten now.

Then we come to homeschooling, and do you know that many homeschooling mothers do the same thing? We go to our homeschool curriculum fairs, and we see all these amazing curriculums, and they are all wonderful. We go home and because we have paid all this money for it, well, we are going to have to use it. Our children have got to finish that lesson, and they've got to get through it because I've paid all this money. This is what they've got to learn.

I beg your pardon? There was somebody who got that together, and it was a great idea for their family, but is that what my children have to learn? We become victims. We are just like little sheep. Oh goodness me. God has given us as parents to be the parents to these children, and we are different, and our children are different than any other children on the face of the earth. In fact, everyone in our family, each one of them are different.

I think the greatest thing that we do, as you were saying before, number one, is teaching them in the ways of God. His character and embedding them richly in the Word of God. As they go out into this world, they are going into a world of deception, and there is only one thing that exposes the deception, and that is the Word of God. If we are not filled with the Word, we can be deceived because we don't really know what truth is. We have to fill them, fill them richly with His Word and His character and the values of life. This should be so much a part of them and giving them a longing and a desire for knowledge.

It may not be just having to go through certain lessons. We we don't have to be stuck with that. We've got to do it the way we feel this particular child will learn, but we dare not put them off. I think so many people have put off school and put off knowledge. They've put off knowledge. I remember, as I went to public school back in my day, I'd never heard of homeschooling, but there were subjects, I mean, science. I hated science because I went to these boring lessons, and it was so boring. I think, “Oh, I hate science, but I should not hate science because God is the originator of science. Everything comes from Him and even scientists are only discovering. In fact, that's the problem with scientists today. They tell us one thing, we go a few years down the line, and they have greater equipment and microscopes and whatever to find out more, and they find that what they thought before is actually wrong and now it's new.

Pam: It's changed.

Nancy: Their science is changing all the time, whereas God is eternal, and He knows it all, and we should have such a longing for the knowledge of this world and how it works. I got put off science because of boring classes, and I got put off math. It was only when I was homeschooling my own children that I got a love for math. This is exciting.

Pam: I think that we let academics and schooling get in the way of true education, which is the knowledge and the wisdom. I would say, don't do that. Don't get caught up in the school and the education or the school and the academics that we forget what a true education is, and that is the wisdom and the knowledge.

Nancy: Yes, and knowledge is powerful because knowledge is God. God has all knowledge, and you see it. Not just, “Ok, I've got to school my children.” I mean, learning and knowledge are for life. Here I am, getting into the older part of my life, I still feel so young. I think I have an even greater passion for knowledge today. Every day, oh, I hear about something. I want to learn so much more about that. Oh wow, I've got to find out more about that! I do not have the time to find out all that I want to study and find out. Firstly, in the knowledge of God and who He is, but then in the knowledge of His world, which is all God. This is what we have to put into our children so that when they are questioning about something, forget the little lesson they are learning, just let them go for it to discover this, and then there will be something else. Let's discover what is enticing us and interesting us at the time. That's how we are filled with knowledge, and that keeps that excitement and knowledge in our lives. Don't you think?

Pam: Yes. for sure. I've learned a lot more aa a homeschooling mom than I did during my years in school myself.

Nancy: Yes, absolutely, so dear, darling mothers, be encouraged today. Some of you think, “Oh, I've just got to get through all these lessons, and I've got to get through this curriculum.” No, you don't. Who said you had to? You just put that on yourself.

I remember a friend of mine. They were going through a very, very difficult financial time in their lives, and she was homeschooling, but she couldn't even afford to buy any books or any curriculum for the new year. She complained to her husband, “Oh, what are we going to do? Our poor children, we can't even afford books for them.” He said to her, “You've got the greatest book in your hands; you've got the Word, teach them from that. Well, she had no other alternative. She couldn't buy the books, so she did. She began teaching them from the Word. Those children grew up, beautiful young girls and they had all the education they needed for life.

Pam: Absolutely.

Nancy: We've got to have another session with Pam. What do you reckon, ladies? Let's pray now, shall we?

“Dear Father, we thank You that we can talk together and discuss all the things that we face each day. I pray again for every mother and grandmother and daughter, everyone who is listening, Lord, bless them. Homeschooling mothers, Lord, bless them. I ask that You give them Your rest. Take away their overwhelmingness. Lord, let them know that You are the author of knowledge. It's in You that all knowledge is hidden. Lord God, we are not bound by certain lessons that we have to teach our children. Show us what You want us to teach them. And give us and our children such a passion and desire and longing for knowledge. That our whole families will be seeking after knowledge that comes from their own heart and their own desire. We ask this is in the name of Jesus. Amen.”

 

 

 

 

 

Episode 30: Should We Make New Year Resolutions?

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Introducing Pam Fields from Oregon, mother of nine children who has organized many Above Rubies retreats. Pam shares her wonderful idea of PRAYER BRACELETS, and how they help her to pray for each of her children each day. You can check out how to make them at this link: https://tinyurl.com/PrayerBracelets

We also talk about the POWER OF PLODDING. Much of life consists of plodding on each day but plodding brings rewards. Proverbs 21:5 (TLB) says: “STEADY PLODDING brings prosperity. We don’t plod around in circles. We plod purposefully—understanding who God created us to be and walking in God’s divine purpose for us. When we know our purpose, we can make drudgery into delight and the mundane into miracles. We turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. We change grumbling to glory.

Here is A MOTHER’S CREED for you to begin the New Year:

“I am not languishing.

I am not deceived.

I have a vision.

I know who I am, and who God created me to be.

I know my purpose.

I am walking in the perfect will of God.

I know it’s not easy, but I’ve counted the cost.

My goal is set.

How could my career be easy when I am influencing a nation for God, generations to come--and eternity?

How can it be easy when I am destroying the plans of the devil?

Such is the power of my God-mandated career, the highest calling ever given to women—motherhood.

I have embraced my calling. I am not intimidated by my antagonists.

I will not be moved.

My heart is fixed.

I may be hidden in my home but look out world!

I am sharpening my arrows. I am getting them ready to shoot forth and destroy the adversary.

In the power and anointing of God, I am advancing God’s Kingdom.”

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Happy New Year to you today, ladies! I trust it's going to be a wonderful New Year for you. Of course, we don't know what's ahead, do we? None of us do. None of us know what we're going to face. But the wonderful thing is that we know we're going to start this New Year with God, and know that He is with us, in the good times, and in the challenges that we face.

Now I have with me today, a very dear friend, Pam Fields. She and her husband are staying with us at the moment, so we are enjoying their company. Now I've known Pam for many years. She's actually been reading Above Rubies for 22 years, isn't it now? Yes, here she is! Say Hi.

Pam Fields: Hello everybody! I'm so excited to be in Nancy's living room and get this opportunity to enjoy their company. First off, it's amazing.

NC: So, this is where we are. We're just in our living room, and we've only got one mike, so we're just sitting close together here, between one mike.

Now Pam has, goodness, how many, eight? Nine? Nine children, and I have got to know them over the years, because Pam has also been to about 16 Above Rubies retreats. I wonder if you have been to an Above Rubies retreat yet?

And then she began to organize the retreats herself in her state of Oregon. So, at the Oregon retreat, when I flew out to Oregon from Tennessee, I could never get home on a Sunday evening. I'd have to wait till Monday morning. So, I had the privilege of staying with Pam, and her husband Andrew, and all their wonderful children. I have watched them grow from little ones to big ones. And they are amazing children.

Now I've got to tell you their names, because I love names! I just love different names, and I think it's so wonderful to hear the names that people choose for their children. Their oldest is Caleb, nearly 23 isn't he?

PF: Yes, nearly 23.

NC: Then they've got twins. They went and did exactly what we did!

PF: We snuck Emma in before the twins.

NC: Oh, so you did! You had Emma, so you had two before you had twins! I had one, and then I had twins. You would have had, how many under what?

PF: It was four under four.

NC: Yes, that's what I had.

PF: It was four under four, but . . .

NC: I had three under 17 months, and four under four.

PF: Yes, yes!

NC: Yes, we had the same thing. Well, you know, you look back on those days, and for me, they were overwhelming, but wonderful. How would you describe yours?

PF: It was busy! It was busy, and you know, as long as I didn't plan to go anywhere, or set my expectations really high for myself, then it was very doable. You know, I'd pack the diaper bag the night before, do anything I could do to prepare the night before.

I lived by lists. I'd think of something I needed to do, and I'd go write it down on a list. Then, when I got a moment, when everything was quiet, I'd just tell myself, go back to the list. Maybe, when I had a moment of quiet, I couldn't think of what I needed to do. My functioning was . . . I had a moment, but my functioning was turned off in my brain, so I'd use my list. Any time I had a moment, all I had to tell myself was, go back to the list, and it will tell me what to do.

NC: You were more organized than me. I don't think I had any lists in those days. I just got through those days. But they were wonderful days.

But they didn't stop at four. So, then they had Ruthie, Sarah, Clarity, don't you like that name? I love names that have meaning!

PF: Yeah, everybody needs a little Clarity in their lives!

NC: I think it's so great. It's a beautiful name, too. And then Valor. I love that name too. And then they had Eli.

Also, Pam has written in Above Rubies. So, if you happen to have Above Rubies, # 91, you can look it up! She wrote an article called, “A Generational Impact,” of the generations in her husband's family, how it has grown, and it's such a godly family. That's what God's all about, building godly generations.

But then she wrote another article, which I think was so wonderful, and it was called, “Prayer Bracelets.” Now, you haven't got your prayer bracelet on this morning!

PF: I put them in my suitcase, and I packed them because I didn't want to get flagged in the security at the airport, and then I forgot! I forgot to take them out of the Ziplock! It was my first time to fly in almost 20 years, so I just wasn't sure. I do have them with me, I just haven't put them on.

NC: It's the first time I've seen you without your prayer bracelets!

PF: I know! It's uncommon.

NC: Pam got this great idea. You've got to read it. If you've got Above Rubies, # 93, now I hope you've got one, because, if you do, treasure it with all your heart, because we've got none left!

I think we found two or three old tattered and torn ones, but this is what happens with Above Rubies. We have thousands of them lying around as we're sending them out into the nations. They gradually dwindle, until one day, hey! There's none left of that issue! So, if you happen to have that issue, do treasure it. In fact, treasure them all, because they run out, and there's no more left.

If you don't have Above Rubies, Number 93, it's a beautiful issue, the one with the picture of Arden and Esther's wedding on the front cover, you can go to Above Rubies website, https://aboverubies.org. Then go to “Articles and Stories,” and look up under the subject, “Prayer in the Home.”

We've got loads of subjects about all the aspects of family life and home life. You could go there, and, oh goodness, you could go there, and just be blessed for weeks! Anyway, her article is there, called “Prayer Bracelets,” which will tell you how to make them.

But today, just give us a little, because we've got so many things to talk about! Just give a little of your vision for your prayer bracelets, because I think they're so wonderful.

 

PF: Well, I'm really tangible. I learn things real kinetically, I think. I have to have a visual for some things. At one of the retreats, I was listening to you talk about . . . I have to refresh my memory about the ephod, and the names being inscribed. You brought up the idea of these names being inscribed to bring them to our memory.

NC: Because the high priest, he had all the names of the children of Israel on the breastplate. They were not only listed on the breastplate, each one inscribed on a beautiful gem, but also on the shoulders of the ephod. They had six of the names on one side, and six on the other. The Word of God tells us how the high priest took those names into the Presence of the Lord (Exodus 28:9-12, 29, 30).

How powerful it is, to take names of our children, into His Presence, to pray for them. So that was the idea, and then you got this practical idea!

PF: I thought to myself . . . you also talked about prayer being sustenance for our children, and for our families, and for their futures, and how powerful prayer was. I started to think to myself, I don't pray for my children all that much. I don't remember. I kind of get busy in my day, and I completely forget.

I could honestly be a week, and then I'd go, oh, I need to pray for them! I knew I needed something tangible in my face to tell me, go pray for them! So, I thought about it for a long time.

You also said, if you're relying on other people to pray for your children, to give them that covering, I mean, that's our duty as a parent. Yes, other people can pray for them, but our duty as a parent is to bring them before the Lord, and to pray for them in all sorts of ways.

So, I thought about it for a long time. My mother-in-law creates beautiful jewelry, so I asked her, I know you have an amazing way to make jewelry. How can we . . . and really what we settled on was the simplest thing. I went to Walmart, and I got an elastic cord. Then I went onto Oriental Trading Company and ordered these alphabet beads. I put each of my children's names, with alphabetical beads, on the elastic cord, and tied it shut, and put a little glue on it to keep it.

In the morning, I'd start all my bracelets on my left wrist, and as I'd go about the day, they're in front of me. If I'm washing dishes, I'd notice, here are my bracelets on my left, and the goal is, once I prayed for each child, I'd move the bracelet onto my right. With nine, I'd lose track! Start at the top and move down. I'd get distracted, or I'd start at the bottom and go up. I'd get lost somewhere, and the ones in the middle never get prayed for, because I'd get so forgetful.

So, it really changed my attitude on prayer. Even when I was driving, I used to listen to talk shows, or listen to radio. But as my hands wrap on my steering wheel, I'd see my bracelets. It helps me keep track of the time and be intentional with my minutes. Sometimes you only have one or two minutes.

Sometimes, if a certain child was on my mind to pray for, they were heading out for something for the day, I would pray for that one, and move it over to the other wrist. My goal, by the end of the day, was that all bracelets would be moved from the left to the right. If they weren't, I knew I had my work to do before bed.

NC: How wonderful. I love it! I love these practical ideas. God just loves us to be practical. That's why He didn't just say to Moses, “Now I want you to take the names of the children of Israel into My Presence.” No, He was so tangible and practical that He wanted them engraved on precious jewels, on his breast, over his heart. And then on his shoulders, because it's on our shoulders we take burdens, how we take the burden of our children into the Presence of the Lord.

So, I know you'll love this idea of Pam's. Go to the website, and look up “Prayer Bracelets,” and you'll see how she does them. They're just simple, and it could be a beautiful thing in your life.

Also, I think it's so important for husbands and wives to pray for their children together. I think that is so powerful, because the Bible says: “That if two of you, IF TWO OF YOU, shall agree on earth as touching anything that they shall ask, it shall be done for them of my Father, which is in Heaven” (Matthew 18:19). I think a lot of couples miss out on this powerful weapon that God gives to marriage.

Because that's what marriage is about, dear ladies. It's about the strengthening of the family. God puts a man and a woman together to make it strong for the raising of the children. That's why there's a husband and a wife, a father and a mother. There are different roles, and both are needed for children.

Both are needed, and this is God's plan. Also, we have this benefit of, wow, when two, when the husband and wife pray together, there is power.

Are you concerned about one of your children? Maybe there's some area you're so concerned about, you don't what to do? Well, the greatest thing you can do is pray, but not just pray on your own. Pray with your husband.

But you say, “Well, you know, my husband is not that interested in prayer. What should I do?” Well, just ask. It's amazing what husbands will do if you ask them. You don't tell them, because husbands never do what you tell them to do! If they're a real man, like my husband, they will do the opposite.

If you ask them, it's amazing what they'll do, because they always want to have the answer to your question. They want to be able to fix every problem. So, ask them. Find a little moment, and say, “Darling, you know how concerned we are about Billy. Oh, do you think we could find a time in the day to pray for all our children? Now, I know you're so busy, but you tell me the time. We could do it maybe in the morning, or maybe in the evening, but you decide the time. Let's just bring our children by name before the Lord. When could we do this?”

OK, when can we do it? Now he's got to give you some kind of an answer. So, hopefully, he'll tell you which the best time is. Because that is a powerful thing you can do.

Well, we said Happy New Year to you, didn't we? So, what do you do? Do you make New Year's resolutions? Well, that’s something, actually, I don't do. Because maybe I did in my younger years, but they never worked. I mean, you could make a great resolution, and a few weeks go by, and you find you're not even doing it! What about you? Did you ever make them?

PF: Maybe when I was a teenager, because that's what I was told you're supposed to do, is to make a resolution. And I found it went nowhere. So, if I make a plan to do something, and it goes nowhere, I feel defeated and upset with myself.

I also realized that I could spend a lot of time spinning my wheels, chasing after new things. It's really more beneficial for my family and my life if I just stay steady with what's in front of me. I've got a plan and a program, and as I just keep doing that, it's so much more rewarding than just jumping in something new, something new, just for the sake of it. That would throw me off track. I don't have time for a new . . .

NC: That is so good, Pam. I'd like to encourage all you lovely ladies listening today, don't feel as  though, oh, “I've got to make my New Year resolutions.” No. Do you find any Scripture in the Bible where it tells you, you must make your New Year's resolutions? No, there is not one Scripture at all.

But the Bible does say the same words you said. It reminds us to keep steady. You said that word, and that's how I feel too. I feel, yes, I've just got to keep steady, keep faithful, keep steadfast, keep unmovable. As it says in 1 Corinthians 15:58, it says: “Be ye steadfast, be unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.”

I believe the greatest thing that we can do to go into the New Year, ladies, is to know who we are, to understand who God created us to be as women, as mothers, as wives, and the beautiful role that He has given to us, which is an anointed role, a powerful role. We need to know it and embrace it!

As we go into the New Year, not to think, “Oh, I've got to do this, or I've got to do that. No, I've got to be who God created me to be. I know who I am, and I'm going to be it with all my heart.”

I think that is the greatest thing. Just keep steadfast. There's such a powerful thing in keeping steadfast. I love that Scripture, I've always loved that Scripture in Psalm 57: 7. It's David speaking, and David confesses . . . Oh, doesn't he make so many amazing confessions in the Psalms? David was always confessing. Ladies, oh, it's so powerful to confess with your mouth. The things you confess, that's what you will work out in your life.

David said: “My heart is fixed. My heart is fixed.” He said it twice. Three times you find that Scripture in the Bible. This morning, I looked up the word, “fixed.” What does it mean? We don't use it so much in our language today. “My heart is fixed.” We would more likely say, well, I'm steadfast or something.

But this is the exciting thing. As I have mentioned to you before, is that we read a word in the Bible, but then, when we go and check out that Hebrew word, we find there's not one word to describe it. They have many, many words to give the fullness of the meaning.

So here it is: here is what this word means: “To stand fast, to be established, be steadfast, be faithful, be reliable, be ready, be determined.” That's what it means to be fixed. I know who God created me to be. And no matter what society says, no matter what my mother or mother-in-law says, I know who God has created me to be. I know my purpose. I know that I am here in the home. God has given me children. God has not given me children to give away to someone else. God gave me these children to pour my life into these children, and to bring God into them, and to teach them in His ways.

That is so powerful! Its generation impacting! Its eternity impacting. So be steadfast, dear ladies. Don't let anybody move you. You know, it's a very powerful thing to be unmovable. Well, I don't mean that in a negative way, because we don't want to be those who are unmovable in stubbornness or wanting our own way. No, no, no! There are some wives who are like this, “Well, my way or the highway!” No, we keep soft hearts before the Lord.

But being unmovable in knowing truth, knowing who I am, and knowing my purpose. We’re not going to be swayed. Now that word in the Hebrew is koon, and it's used 25 times to refer to the establishment of a dynasty. Isn't that amazing? That's what we are doing. We are establishing, along with our husbands, a dynasty.

PF: That's amazing.

NC: Dear lovely ladies! You've got little ones around you, and you think, oh, all that I'm doing is just getting through this day, trying to look after these little ones! Oh no, you're doing far more than that. You are establishing a dynasty! Because every one of these children, they're going to grow up according to how you have trained them. They're going to marry, they're going to have children, and it's going to be another generation beginning.

And then another generation. That happens so quickly. I mean, I can't believe it. Now I am up, not to the grandmother stage, I'm already now in the great-grandmother stage! And there's going to be more to come. I'm establishing, with my husband, a godly dynasty! It is so powerful!

I was thinking, perhaps, what could I say . . . people say, “What is your vision?” I often say, “I just keep plodding on in what I know I am to be, and what God wants me to do.” I just plod on. We sometimes think plodding on, that sounds a little boring. But plodding on is a very powerful thing. To plod on, to just keep going, what would you say about that?

PF: I was going to pop back up to your “fixed,” and standing steadfast, because I'm visual. I have to see it. And I imagine my little boys at their karate class. They have this stance that keeps them unmovable. They don't just stand there passively. If you stand there just passively, you're going to get knocked over. So, they spread out their feet, and they have their center of gravity, and they're prepared. They do that—they always go back to that. They always go back, between each little, you know, each little thing they do. They go back to this stance.

Because it's powerful. I think about that, in relation to how we need to be steadfast, and it's not something that accidentally happens. We move to it with intentionality, and need to be standing and have that stable, firm, we’re prepared. It's intentional. It's not an accidental thing. And we need to go back every time we make it hit. You make it push. You're going to recover, and you're going to go back, and you're going to stand in that stance. And hold onto the truth. To take that stance. So, if they hit me again, that's OK. I'm getting right back into that stance.

NC: I love that. And that's really the picture, isn't it, of Ephesians 6:13 where it says: “Stand, and having done all, stand.” Yes, that's all in the context of war and fighting. When you are standing against the enemy, as you say, you can't just lean against the wall. As you say, they put their feet apart, and they are using all their strength to stand. Not to just stand up, but to stand against, to stand against the onslaught.

And we all have onslaughts, don't we? Yes, we're all going to have things that people say, and challenges, and difficulties, and that onslaught that comes at us. But we've got to stand, stand.

I think of Ruth and Naomi. We all love that story, don't we? When Naomi brought her daughter-in-law Ruth back to Israel, they were so poor, and Ruth had to just go out and try to get some food. So, she stayed behind the gleaners who were gathering the harvest. She had to pick up the dregs, you know, what was left over, just what they'd leave to rot on the ground. She went behind the gleaners, and every day, every day, in the hot burning sun, picked up the gleanings to take back to her mother-in-law.

She didn't complain, and she didn't get into self-pity. No, she did what was at hand to do, even to just survive. She was thankful. Can you imagine, in the hot sun, this beautiful young woman is plodding after the harvesters. Just plodding on every day.

But God saw her, plodding on, being thankful. And what happened? How did she end up? She ended up marrying a wealthy land owner, Boaz himself, a prince in Israel. And she became the great-grand-mother of King David, and in the ancestry of Jesus the Messiah, who is going to establish a Kingdom that will never die, an everlasting kingdom. What an amazing thing for a young woman who just kept plodding on and being faithful!

PF: We aren't meant to see the whole picture. We aren't meant to see all that's down the road. We're called to be obedient. When we walk in the obedience, the Lord directs us. He has the big picture.

NC: I know. We're going to talk about that later, too. I know you've got some stories about that. I love that story too...You've most probably read about it, about how people were traveling in the desert of Saudi Arabia, and they came across these bones. They realized, oh well, someone has died here in the desert. But then they found a note. On this note, there was a word that somehow they could still read it, even though it had been there for a long time. It said, “I can't go on.”

The sad thing is, that this traveler just felt he couldn't go, and he obviously built a little shelter, and just waited to die. But, just over the sand dune was an oasis. If he'd just kept plodding on that little bit more, there was the reward!

That's the wonderful thing. I'd love to give you 1 Corinthians. I mentioned it before. 1 Corinthians 15:58 is a Scripture you can take into the New Year. It's not a New Year's resolution, it's just an encouragement to stand strong, be steady, be thankful, keep plodding on in what God has given you to do.

Let's read it again. I love this Scripture and have memorized it: “Therefore my beloved brethren, be ye steadfast, unmovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord. Forasmuch as you know that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.” Your work will be rewarded, dear precious mother! It will be rewarded eternally.

But even before you get to eternity, God promises rewards. I am so blessed to be in this glorious reward time. I can remember as a young mum. Pam and I were talking about it, and we both had four children under four years of age. Oh my, they can be hair-raising times! You think, what on earth am I doing?

But now, I'm in this new time. And here I am. I have not only my children around me, who are my best friends in life, but my grandchildren, and now, great-grandchildren. I just enjoy the glory of them all. You have that ahead too. Your labor is not in vain in the Lord!

I was just thinking too, about this plodding on business, and how that can seem drudgery. But, dear mothers, we can make drudgery into delight! It's all in our attitude. We can make the mundane into miracles. Yes, even every precious child that God has given us are miracles, every one of them!

We can take the ordinary into the extraordinary, although sometimes I like to say extra-ordinary, because in God, why do we have to be ordinary? I often think to myself, now Nancy, you dare not be ordinary.

How can we? Because if we are born again, and we have Christ dwelling within us,” Christ in you, the hope of glory,” Christ Who is filled with love and joy...not just that, but the fullness of joy, the fullness of long-suffering, the fullness of rest, the fullness of victory, because He is the fullness of everything. He dwells within us. How can I be a normal, ordinary person?

I mean, I'm either walking in the flesh, or I'm allowing Christ to walk with me, in my home, doing the most mundane, boring things. But they're no longer mundane or boring! If Christ is with you, they can become miracles! And we can change our grumbling to glory! Can you really? Yes, to glory.

Oh my, did you know, and we'd better finish with this, and then you can say something too, because our time is going. But in Hosea, God speaks about motherhood being a glory. In fact, it itemizes it into sections.

It's in this passage where God is actually bringing judgment to Israel because of their sin. He says to them, “I'm going to take away your glory.” Check it out in Hosea 9:11. Then He tells them what that glory is. He said: “There will be no more conception, no more pregnancies, no more births.” That is the glory of the nation. It's the glory God wants to see, and what He looks for.

Now sometimes, we think, “Pregnancy! Oh, help! I can hardly walk around, and I've just got all these things that sort of happen to me when I'm pregnant.” Well, the Bible calls it a “glory.” We either see it how God sees it, or we see it how we see it.

And then birth, and this little baby, oh yes, these sleepless nights, the work. But it's glory! Let's see things how God sees them! So, when we're changing diapers, and nursing babies, and cleaning the house, and scrubbing the floors, and going through all the discomforts of pregnancy and labor and childbirth, it's all glory.

Well, it may not feel like it, but we've got to see the bigger picture! What do you say, Pam?

PF: Well, I was thinking, just a little back here, you said something that made me think, just something that spoke to me so much when I was in such busy years, and I really felt overwhelmed. You have people who say, “Oh, no, you've had another child?! Why are you doing this to yourself? I'm overwhelmed for you!”

These kinds of things, and we hear them so commonly . . . I remember there was a song that came out on the radio about that time, “The Voice of Truth,” I think it was Casting Crowns. The Voice of Truth tells me a different story. All of these voices are calling out to me, but I hear, I'm going to hear the Voice. “I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth.”

That was my anthem for years. Every time it came on the radio, it just encouraged me so much. I think we need to learn to sort out those voices so that we're not overwhelmed. By listening to the Lord and remembering that He truly is the Voice of Truth, that is what gives us the strength to continue, and the strength to continue joyfully as well.

NC: Amen! Well, let me finish with this little creed. It's a mother's creed that I wrote. I think it will encourage you as you go into the New Year. Stand strong, stand steady, stand faithful to your calling.

Here it goes:

“I am not languishing.

I am not deceived.

I have a vision.

I know who I am, and who God created me to be.

I know my purpose.

I am walking in the perfect will of God.

I know it’s not easy, but I’ve counted the cost.

My goal is set.

How could my career be easy when I am influencing a nation for God, generations to come--and eternity?

How can it be easy when I am destroying the plans of the devil?

Such is the power of my God-mandated career, the highest calling ever given to women—motherhood.

I have embraced my calling. I am not intimidated by my antagonists.

I will not be moved.

My heart is fixed.

I may be hidden in my home but look out world!

I am sharpening my arrows. I am getting them ready to shoot forth and destroy the adversary.

In the power and anointing of God, I am advancing God’s Kingdom.”

“Dear Father, we thank You for this New Year that's ahead of us. I bring before You every mother, grandmother, and daughter listening today, and pray that You will pour out Your Holy Spirit upon them, that You will encourage them in their souls, that You will strengthen them in their souls, that You will give them courage.

Lord, as we face the New Year unknown, and we don't know what lies ahead, we thank You that You are with us. I pray that You will make each one so strong, not in themselves, but strong in You, in trusting You, knowing, Oh God, that we cannot do anything of ourselves. But with You, all things are possible.

Bless them, and encourage them, and pour out Your blessing on their whole families, husbands, and on them, and on each one of their precious children. In the Name of Jesus, Amen!

 

 

 

 

Episode 29: Stick Together Marriages Through Thick and Thin

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Rocky: Welcome to the podcast FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy: Hello ladies, we have the most special podcast today. I'm so excited because I have my daughter, Pearl, with me. I can't believe I have actually got her on my podcast. I mean, she is so busy with Trim Healthy Mama. I'm sure most of you already know Serene and Pearl who are Trim Healthy Mama. I'm sure you must have their cookbooks, and if you don't, well, you can make sure to get them because they will transform your life.

You can go to their website, www.trimhealthymama.com and listen to their podcasts. I guess loads of you already listen to Pearl and Serene's podcasts. They have about 200,000 (actually 300,000) people listening to their podcasts. If you aren't already doing it, you can join the thousands and you'll be so blessed. Well, Pearly, it's so great to have you here today.

Pearl: It's fun to be here, Mom. I'm so excited that you're doing this podcast so that you don't have to travel as much. We like you home here on the hilltop.

Nancy: Oh, thank you. Yes, this is where we all live, and Pearl lives just a couple hundred yards down the road. To catch you up with Pearlie's family, they have Meadow, who is married; that's her oldest daughter. Such a beautiful daughter and married to the most gorgeous guy, Kendall. They have this gorgeous little boy, Warren, who's about 8 months now. Pearl has transitioned to a whole another realm of grandmothering.

Pearl: I know, but the word itself still freaks me out. I call myself “Prissy.”

Nancy: Prissy, because her middle name is Priscilla.

Pearl: The whole grandmother thing I still feel way to young, cool, and hip for. But in actual fact, I am a grandmother, and I love it!

Nancy: Pearl is the most doting grandmother. She and her husband, Charlie, I love watching them with Warren. They are just about like the parents. I think you would take him over if you could.

Pearl: Oh, we would! I didn't know, Mom, I know that you love being a grandmother, but I think it's all a big secret. Like this secret code of the grandparent people, and they don't tell anyone, and you don't realize how great it is until you become a grandmother or grandfather. It's like this hidden secret that is the best time of your life.

Nancy: Yes, it is. I am blessed now to have 47 grandchildren. Every single one of them are so amazing. I have to admit, it's like your first child, that first grandbaby. It's not that you love any of your continuing ones any less; you love them just as much with all your heart. But the wonder, it's the wonder of it, like the wonder of your first born. It's the wonder of your first grandbaby.

Pearl: I remember having my babies, and it was incredible, but you're in the trenches. You're doing it, you're keeping them alive, you're feeding them. I remember the wonder of it and the love. But now, with Warren, our first grandchild, everything he does—there is no other baby in the world that can do it like him. Don't even tell me that there could be. Even for him to just blink his eyes, “What? Look at the way he blinks his eyes, oh my goodness! It's better than any other baby.”

Nancy: Yes, so maybe some of you have not got to this stage yet, but just think of what's ahead. This is the wonderful way God has planned our lives. It's so wonderful. He's planned seasons. They become more wonderful with time.

Pearl: They really do. I didn't know, when I was a younger woman (I don't think of myself as really old, but I'm approaching 50).

Nancy: Oh, and you don't look it. She looks about 25!

Pearl: No, I don't, but I used to think, “I'm going to get older and be a grandmother.” There was no joy about being a grandmother or that stage, but honestly, I can say that this stage in my life, it does get better, Mom. When you plant and pour the water on your family and nurture it, the pay-off is so rewarding. I cannot believe this season of my life.

Nancy: I think we could encourage you young moms that are listening. Don't despise the day of small things. These times where you are hidden away in your homes, and it's just diapers and dishes and sometimes feels like drudgery. This is the sowing of glorious seeds into so much that's ahead. As your children grow and they get into all the things that they are interested in, your life as a mother never becomes smaller. It becomes wider and wider and wider.

Pearl: It does. It becomes bigger, and I like the way you said, “the glory.” I feel like, as your children grow and they have children of their own, it feels like glory. Giving God all the glory, but I feel like I'm receiving some of it. Like you said, when you're there, and you have little ones, and you have sleepless nights, and you're in the trenches, it's hard, but there's so much joy in it. You sow, and you reap. And then the Bible says your children will grow and call you blessed. Isn't that amazing when that happens?

(Serene calls)

Nancy: She’s just wanting to borrow the car to go grocery shopping.

Pearl: That's funny because before I came over here, we were recording our podcast.

Nancy: Radio program.

Pearl: Yeah, we do a little of both sometimes.

Nancy: Anyway, it's quite amazing. It was actually Sam and Serene who bought this car for us, and the amazing thing is though, they haven't even got a car big enough for themselves, so they have to borrow this car. Really, they might as well just have it because they use it every day.

Anyway, Pearly, not only have you got Warren, but you're having another grandbaby.

Pearl: Yes, one on the way. My son, Bowen and his wife, Kahoru, due in February, so that's exciting.* But I'm one of those obnoxious grandmothers though that can't stop talking about it. If you have other subjects, you may as well bring them in because I could just go on about how this baby is going to be the best too.

Nancy: Well, you must have got it from Granddad. That's my father. My father, all his life, with his children, and then, when his grandchildren came along, they were added to his boasting list. When people used to come (we had the most hospitable home growing up). always visitors, but those poor visitors. Every visitor that came, he would start talking about his children, and all the things they could do. Then, when we began having children, they were his grandchildren, then he added them to the boasting list. He would be telling everybody about these amazing grandchildren. These people were just having to sit there and sit there and listen to this long boast, and the more grandchildren he had, the longer the boasting list went on!

Pearl: I know, I think it is genetic, Mom, because I remember Grandad sitting there and staring at me in awe when I would play a little guitar, maybe I was writing a little song.

Nancy: He thought you were the greatest guitarist in the world,

Pearl: And I wasn't, but he would stare at me like, “How could this human be more fantastic?” Now, I find myself doing that with my grandchild.

Nancy: When you and Serene would sing, he'd be opening his mouth with the words.

Pearl: It's a genetic thing.

Nancy: Yes, so she does have three other children who are not yet married and that's Rocky, Noble and Autumn. Autumn is the youngest, and she just had her fourteenth birthday. She is growing up the most beautiful girl. They are so blessed with their lovely family.

We are so blessed here on the hilltop, with all the cousins. Everyone lives their own life, but we are pretty close, so they can all get together at a moment’s notice. I notice when Autumn came back, she'd been away for a weekend, and when she came back, it was her birthday, but she just didn't arrive home. She came back, and there were all the girls and the cousins. They had a surprise birthday waiting for her. They made it so wonderful for her. Anyway, Pearly, I think you'll be married, soon 25 years, won't you?

Pearl: Yes, 25 years in March.

Nancy: I can't even believe that.

Pearl: I can't believe I'm saying that, but we are talking here, Mom, and oh, it's so great, and we are going on and on, and everyone's thinking, “Oh, they live a perfect life. They've never had a day of trouble.”

When I look at the 25 years of marriage and we're talking about families and children growing up and having grandchildren and the glory of it all, life is not all perfect. We don't just sit up here in a bubble on the hilltop. We count our joys though. We celebrate them. I look back at my 25 years of marriage, and I think, “That wasn't all easy.” I think, you invest, and it pays off, but there were some days that were brutally hard, so I could talk about those days. But 25 years of marriage is the most precious thing in my life.

Nancy: I can say, now, looking at you, and I think anybody looking would say, “Oh, you have such a beautiful marriage.” But as you say, it just didn't happen. Tell us some of the things you felt make it what it is today.

Pearl: Yes, you treasure marriage, and I thank God that my marriage is so beautiful. I'm amazed, but it certainly did not happen that way on its own.

Nancy: No, nothing happens on its own. It's like this affirmation that I constantly say. “Things don't just happen, you have to make them happen.”

Pearl: Yes, and I think my marriage could have fallen apart, like anybody’s. I think anyone can get married, and they're in love and everyone feels the love, or you wouldn't get married. But every marriage could fall apart because life is going to hit. That's when you dig deep.

Nancy: I remember a dear friend of mine saying to me years and years ago, and I've never forgotten it. She said, “Often,” and it happens in every marriage, “there are times when the tide goes out. And when the tide goes out, you see all the ugly things on the beach. It's not a pretty sight when the tide goes out. There's tin cans and there's this and that and there's all the ugly stuff.” But she said, “There is a law of God, the tide always comes in again.”

She was using that analogy about marriage. I think it is a wonderful analogy. Yes, there can be times when the tide goes out and things look ugly, and perhaps we can talk a little bit about how to get through those times. But dear precious ladies, perhaps you are going through a difficult time in your own marriage. Maybe you feel the tide is out and all you can see is ugliness. But there's a law, an eternal law, that the tide always comes in again. If we will apply God's principles, God can do wonderful things. He brings that tide in again and covers all the ugliness, covers it all.

Pearl: I feel like if you're looking at it, and it looks undone, and it looks like everything you've worked for is a mess, your investing in that can be better than you can ever conceive. Because God is the God of miracles. I look at my marriage, and I think that right there is a pure miracle. Someone leaping out of a wheelchair miracle. I got married and the love and the hormones and everything, and we did life and we had babies, five babies in ten years, so it was just getting through.

We went through rough times of no money and no car and all of that. Then there were the times when it was like, “I don't even know who you are anymore. Are you that person that I married?  And just looking at that person, what do we have? What am I holding onto here?” Then I realize that I'm holding on to the marriage itself. And that is what I held onto.

Nancy: You had to choose what you were going to do.

Pearl: Absolutely, it's a choice every day. He probably had to look at me and say the same thing. I had to realize that it's a choice what am I seeing in that person. Back when sometimes were hard, I could list everything about my husband that I thought was wrong, all the things he was doing wrong. Why isn't he calling me Honey? Why isn't he saying all the nice things to me anymore? Why is he reserved? Why is he in a cave? Why does he look angry? Why is he mad?

Or I could say, my husband goes out to work every day, and he comes home and look at him with the children, and he still loves me. Yes, he's going through a hard time, but he fills my car with gas and look at who he is, and he stayed at that job that he hates for 12 years just for me.

I could see all the bad or I could see all the good. When you hold onto that good, even more good comes down the rack. It gets better and better, and that doesn't mean there won't be rough times because I think in every marriage (I don't care how perfect you start off, I don't care if you're two little homeschooled children, and you're both virgins, and it's all perfect. I don't care), you’re gonna see rough times too, and that's when you dig in. That's when you look at life and say, “Is this worth holding onto? Yes.

Nancy: Absolutely. I'm thinking of some dear friends of mine just as you're talking. One of them was my bridesmaid. They got married, and they had a tough time of it. I think because they were believers, they were strong believers in the Word, and they didn't believe in divorce. If they could have, they would have divorced. They weren't compatible. It was a mess. But they stuck together. They stuck it out. Now they've been married as long as we've been married, and they have the most beautiful marriage today. They are just a sweet lovely couple who I don't think could do without one another for one day. They grew eventually because they stuck there. They grew together. When we get back to see them, because they live in a different country than us because we moved to the states, it's a delight to be with them. They're precious, lovely, and enjoying one another.

Pearl: I'm sure there were times when you would have looked at them, “How on earth did they make this work?”

Nancy: I know, but they did.

Pearl: It's not impossible.

Nancy: There's something about sticking together, sticking to your covenant. Ladies, it seems as though today, I'm seeing that theme of what we are saying is to stick at it. When you're in motherhood, you're with your little ones, and it's not easy, and they are all around you, and you think, when will I be finished with this? No, don't think like that. Look for the joy that is set before you because there is a joy that is set before you. These children grow, and they come into the fruit of all that you've been sowing. It is true, you reap what you sow, and you will be blessed in motherhood.

It's the same as a wife, and as Pearly has been saying, you can go through these rough patches. It's not easy, as you don't think you even like this person you're married to. But you stick with them, and you sow seeds of love and you sow seeds of encouragement and you sow seeds of stickability, and you sow seeds of sweetness. You keep sowing all the good seeds, and you begin to reap.

My husband and I have now been married 55 and a half years. That's a pretty long time. Oh, I have to say, we've always had a lovely marriage, but I can't even compare what it is today to what it was. It was lovely, but I don't have a lovely marriage now, I have an amazing marriage. It gets better. Everything gets better as you walk with God.

Pearl: Sometimes it takes the tough times to get better because if it was just lovely and easy every day, there wouldn't be that beauty that comes from trial through fire. Sometimes it refines you and makes everything more precious when you go through really rough times. I think that one thing that has helped me, to this day, I think I realized this about ten years into my marriage, I was no longer talking to my husband like I was dating him or courting, if you want to use the correct words. We knew each other so well, we were just trying to get through. It was like, “Ok, did you pick that up at the store? You didn't? I asked you to. C'mon honey, why didn't you do that? You knew I needed that.” I mean, just the tone, right?

Then one day I got this paradigm in my head, “I no longer talk to him like when I was dating or look at him the way I did when I was courting or use the same tone. I have a “I know you” tone and I can speak however I want now.” I trained myself to go back. Sometimes I slip up now but mostly how I talk to my husband now is the same way I did when we were dating. I tell you it has been such a precious thing in my marriage to keep that beautifulness going, to keep the freshness, to keep the specialness, that we are in love and this is special.

Nancy: Yes, and it is what you said, training yourself to do that.

Pearl: Oh, it's absolutely training. It's so much easier to throw a little fit or do a little silent treatment or just speak whatever you want than to say, “Hold on, I'm not going to do that. What's going to be the best reaction here? Hey, couldn't I smile at my husband here, or why couldn't I touch him now?” It’s easier to do all that flesh stuff, and you feel it and just want to let it out rather than train. But that's not building my marriage. It’s actually tearing it down. It's just tearing it down.

Nancy: Yes, that reminds me of Titus 2 where it says the older women are to teach the younger women and some translations say, “to train them.” That's interesting, but often, it's training yourself.

Pearl: Right.

Nancy: We do have to train, but it's lovely in that passage in Titus 2 where it tells the older women to teach the younger women to love their husbands. It's an interesting word that is used there. It's the word philandros. Of course, that's one of the phileo words which means “friendship love.” It's not talking about agape love, the love of God, which is important. We need that in our marriage because in these times when perhaps the tides go out, that's when you have to push into the agape love of God. You've got none left of your own; it's gone out the door, but you still have love. You have God's love, shed abroad in you by the Holy Ghost which is given unto you (Romans 5:5). You have to press into that love. Love with God's love, even if you haven't got any of your own love. You need that agape love in your marriage.

You need the eros love in your marriage which is sexual love.

The love that it's talking about there is a friendship love, a touchy love, a love where we are showing physically that we love our husband, like touching him, kissing him, rubbing him, being affectionate. That's the love we are told to encourage in the young marrieds. This affectionate love, being affectionate. I have found the more affectionate you are to your husband and doing it because you know that's what you should do, that makes you more affectionate. You become more loving. It just grows and grows and grows.

Pearl: But if you're touching your phone more than you're touching your husband, you know. I mean, sometimes I ask myself that.

Nancy: Yes, that's a good one, touching your phone instead of touching your husband. Oh wow.

Pearl: Obviously, you may not be around your husband as much as you're around your phone, but if you're around your husband and your phone, husband comes first.

Nancy: Absolutely. That reminds me of a friend who was telling me she was running a big homeschool email group. She said, “Nancy, it's rather alarming. At 10 o'clock at night, that's when this homeschool group gets going.” She said, “Obviously, mothers have got their children in bed, it's the end of the day, now it’s my time.” They get onto email or social media or whatever, but it's 10 o'clock at night. Their husbands are going to bed. They are up on their social media; he's in bed on his own. What is he doing? Waiting for her. I think this is something that in social media, all these things, they actually can take over a marriage.

Pearl: Yeah, they can, if we let them. Another thing quickly on that is, one of my things, I read it somewhere else, but if I'm walking through the house, and I pass my husband, I touch him. Whether it's on the arm, or a hug, I stop him.  That is powerful in my marriage.

Nancy: Oh, it is, and I seek to do that. I must admit, I forget sometimes, but it's in my brain to do it.

Pearl: But it's training. It becomes part of your life because then, when you walk past and you didn't, you think, “Oh my goodness, I've got to go back.”

Nancy: Do you know where that came from? Well, you might have got it from somewhere else, but I wonder if we had told you the story, way back when we first married, Dad told about this man. He was in his eighties, and he walked with a walking stick, and he told my husband, “I have never passed my wife in the home without stopping to give her a hug.”

Pearl: Love it. I probably did hear it from you, Mom.

Nancy: Yes, and he was in his eighties.

Pearl: I do love looking at a man passing things down to the generations. I look at you and dad's marriage. I know it hasn't been all perfectly perfect, but oh my goodness, if there was ever a marriage where I see a love that is still romantic to this day . . .  you and dad are head over heels about one another.

Nancy: We are.

Pearl: It's literally sometimes like, oh my goodness, but it's so good. You're literally in love with each other, but that's taken tending to, right? I mean. You actually feel it. After all these years, you actually feel those feelings for that gray-headed man in the next room.

Nancy: Absolutely, yes. I am quite happy to just look at him and just think how adorable he is. I just love looking at him.

Pearl: I know, but I do want to get back to one thing, since you've got me here. A big thing that's been in my marriage too, you talked about eros love, I think that's a little bit on a platform that I want to stand on. If you're doing all these things, you got the Bible study on Wednesday night, and you're going to this group, and you're in the homeschooling, you're on the board of this and that, but your husband is alone there in bed at 10 at night!

Nancy: I know, that's wrong.

Pearl: You're talking to the Facebook group about the whatever . . .

Nancy: That is not building your marriage; it's tearing it down.

Pearl: Yes, and that physical love is so healthy for you. It builds your immune system. It builds your husband's immune system. It prevents against all sorts of diseases when it's sanctified in marriage. It is incredibly health-boosting. It actually even makes you look younger. You know, Serene and I have done podcasts, and we even have a chapter in our original Trim Healthy Mama book on that. At least initiate twice a week, if it's not happening, and that is when all those health-boosting things come in.

I do want to say though, I think especially in the Christian world, there has been this big stereotype that women never think about it, and the man's thinking about it all day. It's the stereotype of “Ugh, I have to give him sex tonight, I guess I better go be a good wife.” When there's actually a lot of women hurting because they don't feel that from their husbands. You know many husbands are getting type 2 diabetes because of the diet everyone is on and high blood sugar, and men don't feel good.

Type 2 diabetes lowers testosterone, and I think many women are hurting, and they feel alone. I feel like a really open relationship about this is something in our marriage on both sides that we need to talk about it; we need to get it right. What sets the marriage relationship apart from everything else is that physical union. It's the big difference.

If you're in your home, and you're just becoming comfortable and roommates, it's so much more than that. Sometimes you've got to rip that rug open, and there's hard things, like Mom said, the tide goes out, even with this sexual part of it. You've got to rip it open, and there's hard things there. There are things you've got to talk about, and you don't want to talk about, but you've got to go there. It's hard, but it's so worth it.

Nancy: That is true, and it's one of those things where you can get into a rut as you get older. I remember having a wake-up call. I think I was maybe in my sixties perhaps and just realized, hey, wow, it suddenly hit me. We are not coming together intimately as much as we used to.

What is wrong? What is happening? It was like a wake-up call!

Pearl: (laughs) Look at Arden over there. Arden does all of mom's recording, and he has to hear about his grandmother's intimate life.

Nancy: (laughs). But anyway, I was so glad, it was a like a wake-up. “Ok, I'm not allowing this. I have to change, so I changed.

Pearl: Yes, and it has to be the both of you. There's a stigma of when you get older, like I'm a grandmother now, that it should get less because we are all getting older, and obviously, hormones go down, and obviously, physically, sometimes it's actually harder. Sometimes there's ailments; sometimes people go through things, challenges, health issues.

Despite all that, I think it can get better, and it can stay frequent, and it should. It's like that preciousness. When somethings being tried by fire, and you come out the other end and despite all the challenges you're still there, and you're still realizing that this is so important, and this is special. That's when that preciousness is there. That's why it gets better. Not because you're physically great specimens anymore like you were when you were young because you have high hormones, and you feel it. You know those hormones you felt when you were young, and you really desire physically the sex. I think it changes, and it becomes that union where this is precious. This is so precious.

Nancy: Yes and knowing that this is what God intends. At the very beginning, God said: “A man shall leave his father and mother, and they shall become one flesh.” That's God's description of marriage, one flesh. If that's His description, and you are not one flesh, you're not really doing what you need to be doing.

Pearl: Yes, so rip up the rug, and if there's things there, problems that you haven't addressed, you've got to address them. It's worth it. That's not the only thing that will keep your marriage together. There are so many issues. We can't say that's the thing, but it's so important.

Nancy: Yes, and sadly, I think our time is going, but I would like to, because we didn't know what we were going to talk about, but because we got onto marriage, and I'm sure you have been blessed, I want to end with reading a little quote, and it's written by someone back in 1838. Goodness me, that's so long ago. As I read this, you will think, Goodness me, this seems a bit archaic.” Yes, but this is how marriage is meant to be, and I think it's good for us to get back to what God intended it to be because we are living in a day where everything is coming against marriage. The independence of women is becoming stronger and stronger and stronger. They don't feel like they can be told anything what to do by a man. There are many women that don't believe their husbands can tell them anything because, “I am a woman!” It's destroying marriages. Can I read this to you?

“Woman's mission is to be the suitable help-mate of that man to whom she has given herself as the companion of his pilgrimage upon earth.

She is, in wedded life, to be his constant companion, in whose companionship he is to find one, who meets him hand to hand,
eye to eye,
lip to lip,
and heart to heart.

To whom he can unburden the secrets of a heart pressed down with care, or wrung with anguish;
whose presence shall be to him above all other friendship;
whose voice shall be his sweetest music;
whose smile his brightest sunshine;
from whom he shall go forth with regret;
and to whose company he shall return with willing feet, when the toils of the day are over;
who shall walk near his loving heart, and feel the throbbing of affection as her arm leans on his, and presses on his side.

In his hours of private companionship, he shall tell her all the secrets of his heart; find in her all the capabilities, and all the promptings, of the most tender and endeared fellowship; and in her gentle smiles, and unrestrained speech, enjoy all to be expected in one who was given by God to be his companion and friend.

That companionship which woman was designed to afford to man, must of course be included the sympathetic offices of the comforter.

It is hers, in their hours of retirement, to console and cheer him;
when he is injured or insulted, to heal the wounds of his troubled spirit;
when burdened by care, to lighten his load by sharing it;
when groaning with anguish, to calm by her peace-speaking words the tumult of his heart;
and act, in all his sorrows, the part of a ministering angel.”

Pearl: I love that, Mom.

Nancy: So beautiful, and this is the heart of marriage. It's time we got back to God's ways and stop being influenced by this independent spirit of the day. Can you say Amen?

Pearl: Absolutely. In this day and age, it's like, don't be co-dependent on your husband. We need to be co-dependent on him, and he needs to be co-dependent on us. What junk in this modern age about separate bank accounts and my time and this and that. No. That was so beautiful what you read mom, and it's true.

Nancy: “Yes. Lord, we thank You that You showed the way for marriage. It was Your design. You planned it, and You want it to be so beautiful and one because You have made us one. I pray for every marriage, every wife today, Lord God, give her hope for her marriage. Lord God, give her that anointing of Your Spirit to rise up and love, even when there is no love and to give encouragement when she feels that she gets nothing herself. Because, Lord, your Word says that when we give, we will receive, that when we sow, we will reap. That's just the law of the universe; it's an eternal law. Father, I pray for every marriage, that You will strengthen it and bring healing and make it whole. Lord God, we ask for strong marriages. Strong marriages to fill this land because a nation is only as strong as its marriages and its families. Amen.”

Thank you Pearly for being with us today.

Pearl: You're so welcome.

*P. S. Pearl’s new grandbaby was born four weeks early by emergency c-section on Sunday, 20 January (he was trying to come footling breech). Bowen and Kahoru are so proud of their first-born son, Finn Alexander Bowen, and praise the Lord, he is doing so well.

 

 

 

Episode 28: The Awe and Wonder of Life in the Womb, Part 5

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

God calls the creating of the baby in the womb “marvelous” (Psalm 139:14). God uses many adjectives in His Word. We then look up the adjective in the Hebrew to understand the word and we get more adjectives! The full understanding of this Hebrew word means “extraordinary, wonderful, miraculous, astonishing,” and “difficult.” It is the revelation of God doing things beyond the bounds of human powers or expectations.” We discover where this word is used the first time in the Bible.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, dear ladies! I wonder what the weather is like where you are listening today, or tonight, all cuddled up in your bed. It's a very dull dismal day here in Tennessee. We're getting into winter, and it's very cold. But we could have a few lovely warm days yet before Christmas. Some of you, of course, you're enjoying summer, while we are enjoying winter.

Anyway, we're going to get on today, by continuing to talk about this amazing, awesome, incredible, astounding creation of the baby in the womb. This is our fifth session on this series, and I hope to finish it today, because next week, I've asked my daughter Pearl to come and be with us on the podcast, so I know you'll just want to be hearing her!

So, let's get on with it today. We are still in Psalm 139. We were talking last week about how God skillfully creates the baby in the womb. It's the picture of a needle-worker, stitching everything together. God uses beautiful picturesque language in His Word. It says that He creates the baby in the darkness, in the dark place of the womb. Of course, we understand that light and darkness are the same with God.

Another beautiful thing for us to remember is that because God is the One who began our lives, right at conception, God was there. Conception does not happen without God. God is in it all. Because He is there at the very beginning of our lives, we can trust Him that He is going to continue to work in our lives. He works in our lives, creating and preparing us to come forth into this world while we are in those months in the womb.

But He doesn't forget about us when we come into this world. No, God never forgets about you. The Bible says: “Can a woman forget her sucking child?” Well, the Bible says she may forget, “But I will not forget you, says the Lord. You are graven on the palms of my hands.” You can be comforted that God is still working in your life, of course, if you will let Him.

I love that Scripture in Philippians 1: 6: “Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:” And so God began His work in you at conception. He's going to continue that work in you until the day that you meet Him face to face. You can trust Him, you can bring this promise before Him, you can say: “Thank You, Father, thank You that You are working in me today.” Because God's work, even in the womb, is not only physically, but it's inwardly.

We also are aware too that when a little baby is born into this world, he's still not completely and fully developed. His respiratory system is still not fully developed, and that's why it's so important to have skin-to-skin contact with the baby. It's better for your baby being next to you, even in bed at night, skin-to-skin, than lying in a bed on its own, because skin-to-skin contact helps to develop that respiratory system.

The eyes are not fully developed. They often continue developing, even up to three years. The brain is not fully developed at birth, either. Many scientists have said for years that the brain doesn't reach full maturity until about 25 years of age, although now we have newer scientists saying that they believe that the brain reaches full maturity at 13 years of age.

That's the thing with science; it keeps changing. Often, of course, as they have more incredible instruments and machinery to be able to find out more, their understanding becomes more knowledgeable. So, at the moment, there is a little fight, with scientists between “Okay, is it 25 years, or is it 13 years?”

I think I'll go with the 13 years, because that's a more modern scientific discovery. Also, I think that as our children come into those adolescent years, I believe it's the time for them to mature into adults, not to still act like little children. We know that the Israeli people have a bar mitzvah for their sons when they are 13. They are expected then to grow into maturity. So, I don't know for sure, but I think I'll go with the 13 years.

It's interesting that even though some of the physical parts of the body still continue to mature, of course, the whole body does as it grows! We don't look like the little baby we were when we were born. We're totally different now. We're growing all the time. That's the amazing thing about God's creation. It continues, and it's not only physically, but it's the inner workings as well.

You remember, how at the very beginning of this passage, it talks about how God possesses our reins. Our reins speak of our mind and heart and emotions, and the inner workings of who we are. God continues to work on our inner man. He wants to take us from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord (2 Corinthians 3;18). He wants to change us and mold us into the image of His Son, Jesus Christ (Romans 8:29).

He continues to work on us, yes, physically, but in us. Oh, trust Him to continue working in you! Ask Him to work in you, more and more every day.

 

10. God is the first Architect

Well, let's go on to the next Scripture, verse 16: “Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect.” The word for substance here is a different word from the one we've already read. We talked about substance, how it means our bones and our frame, and how God is creating the bones of the baby in the womb. But here it doesn't mean that. It's a totally different word.

The word is golem, and it means a “wrapped and formed mass, the embryo.” It comes from the root word, galam, meaning “to fold, to wrap together.” It's a picture of the baby in the womb, in the very early stages of the folded fetal position.

The psalmist is here trying to describe that. It's so difficult to describe it in words. It's amazing, because the psalmist who wrote these words had never seen an ultrasound. He had no idea of what everything looks like in the womb. Yet God was supernaturally . . . he was writing by the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, seeing perhaps far more than we even understand today.

It says here: “Thine eyes did see . . . ” Yes, God saw us, right from the very beginning, just as that little embryo. Did you know that God even saw us beyond that? He saw us even before we were conceived. That's the teaching of the Word of God. He saw us, His eyes beheld us, even before we were conceived. Isn't that amazing?

You see, God is a great Architect. No architect suddenly builds a building. “OK, let build this amazing, wonderful building!” Making all this incredible design. No, he first sits down at his drawing board. He uses his imagination and his skills to create a whole new design, something no one else has ever built before. So he makes the plans.

God does this too. He was the first Architect. Of course, He was the Designer of who we are today. Male and female, and the way He created the male and the way He created the female. All God's works are perfect! Over and over again, the Scripture says the works of God are perfect. They were planned in the eternal realm.

But not only did He plan the way He would create man and woman, but He had a special design, a special unique design for every new human being. You are different from everyone else in the world. I am different from everyone else in the world. My, I'm so glad there's only one of me! It would be not so good to have too many of me around! But isn't God so good? Every single person who has ever been born in this world is unique and different.

In Jeremiah 1:5 see a picture of this. God was speaking to Jeremiah, and He said: “Before I formed thee in the womb . . .” Did you notice that first word? Before? Before? “Before I formed thee in the womb, I knew thee.” Isn't that amazing? God knew Jeremiah before he was even conceived. God knew you before you were even conceived. God knew each one of your precious children before they were conceived. Our God is Omniscient. He is all-knowing.

Sometimes, precious ladies, we need to take time to contemplate on the character of our God, and Who He is. We dare not take Him for granted. We dare not bring Him down to our level. There is a Scripture that says, and God is speaking, and He says: “And you thought that I was altogether like one of you? I will rebuke you, the Lord says” (Psalm 50:21). How often are we guilty of doing this?

Because we're so human, we tend to bring God down to our level. No, He is God, He is the Omniscient God, the All-Knowing. He knows your thoughts that you haven't yet thought, the thoughts you will think in the next hour and the next day and the next week. He knows them before you even think them. This is our God. He knew Jeremiah before he was born. And He knows us, each one of us, before we were born.

Let's look at it a little more personally and notice all the pronouns. I'll read it to you again, this same Scripture, from the New English translation: “Before I formed you . . . ” God is speaking personally to Jeremiah. Now Jeremiah is no longer in the womb. He's no longer a little baby. He's no longer a child. He's grown up! God is speaking to a grown-up person, and He says in Jeremiah 1:4, 5: “Now the word of the LORD came to me, saying, Before I formed you (yes, I'm speaking to you, Jeremiah! Before I formed you) in the womb I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” In those two little Scriptures, we have SIX times God speaks to Jeremiah, using the pronoun “you.”

Yes, Jeremiah was Jeremiah, right when he was conceived. He was the same person. That was when his DNA was put together, when the 23 chromosomes of his father, and the 23 chromosomes of his mother came together. That became Jeremiah. That was his DNA, and that would be on his fingerprints. No one will ever have that DNA again. That was him from conception. It's the same.

I was me when I was conceived. Same person. You were you when you were conceived. Same person.

Let’s have a look a little more at that Scripture, shall we? In Jeremiah . . .  because it's an amazing Scripture. We'll look at some of the words. The first thing it says is: “I formed you.” “I formed you.” Now, that's the same word that we have in Psalm 139: 16. This special passage we're looking at, in this Scripture, God says that He fashions us. He's talking about the little embryo in the womb, at the very beginning of conception and growing in the womb.

He says: “I fashioned this little baby.” Here it says, “I formed,” but it's the same Hebrew word It's yatsar. If you want to know a little bit more, it's number 3335 in the Strong's Concordance. This is what it means, “to squeeze into shape, to mold into a form as a potter molds the shape, and molds it into a beautiful form, to fashion, to make, and to have purpose.” That's the meaning of this word. Same word in verse 16 here in Psalm 139 is the same word here in Jeremiah 1:5.

When I find a word in the Scriptures, I love to find the other Scriptures where the same word is used. When you do that, you get a greater understanding of that word. Now I won't give you all the Scriptures, because there are loads of Scriptures in the Bible with this yatsar word in it. But can I give you just a few?

Zechariah 12:1: “The Lord, which stretchest forth the heavens, and layeth the foundation of the earth, and formeth” . . . that's the word, “formeth,” “fashioneth,” the word yatsar. “the Spirit of man within him.” Oh ladies! Isn't that a powerful Scripture? Because here God is saying that He not only forms the physical frame, and bones and sinews and organs and vessels of the body, but He's the One Who forms the spirit of the man, the mind, and the heart, and the soul, the inner workings, the conscience, that God-consciousness. God forms that as well.

You see, this is the wonder, the awe, of God creating a life in the womb! It's not just physical! It's spiritual as well. God begins that in the womb, and here we have it in proof. It is God that fashions the spirit of man within him.

Let's read Isaiah 44:24: “Thus saith the Lord, thy Redeemer, and He that formed thee,” there's the word! “formed thee from the womb.” Do you notice how God loves using the word “womb”? It's a word that God loves. “I am the Lord that maketh all things; that stretcheth forth the heavens alone; that spreadeth abroad the earth by itself.”

Now, here in this Scripture, we see that the formation and fashioning of the baby in the womb is likened to the creating of the world. That's how awesome it is.

Let me take you to a few more Scriptures. These Scriptures talk about God being the Potter. It's the same word again, ladies. See, that's the exciting thing of finding out what the Hebrew word is, because when you find that word out, and you find all the other places where it is used in the Scripture, you find that so many different words are used.

Now we've just already seen it used as “fashioned,” it means “formed,” and now we're going to read some verses about how it's translated “potter,” and other different words. So let's go!

Isaiah 29:16: “Surely your turning of things upside down shall be esteemed as the potter's clay . . . ” that's the word, yatsar! “for shall the work say of him that made it, He made me not? or shall the thing framed say of him that framed it, He had no understanding?”

Here God is challenging us. This is a challenge to us as women. I often hear women complaining about being a woman, complaining about their womanly cycles, complaining even about their womb. In fact, there are many women, they don't even want their womb to function. In fact, they go to great lengths to make sure it can't function. They make sure they cannot conceive. And yet here, God challenges us, and says, “Do you not understand the way I made you?”

Now, you know many potters. But God is THE Potter. He is the first Potter. He is the original Potter. In fact, God is the First in everything, ladies. He was the first architect, He was the first home builder, the One Who created the Garden of Eden, the first home, which is a prototype of all homes to come.

He was the first clothes designer. He is the One Who, after Adam and Eve had sinned . . . what did they do? Oh, they found some fig leaves and put it around them. But that didn't clothe them. God had to come and God had to kill an animal and shed blood. Then He made clothes that completely covered them from the shoulder down, because that's what the Hebrew says. It was a full covering.

Now I believe that those clothes were not just some skin hanging around their backs. Have you seen pictures of Adam and Eve going out of the Garden? They've got sort of a sheepskin or some kind of bearskin just hanging around their shoulders.

Oh goodness me, ladies. Oh, our God, the Creator of the world, the Creator, the awesome Designer of the baby in the womb, He doesn't give just a bit of a sheepskin or bearskin or cow skin to throw over your shoulders. I am sure that the clothing that Adam and Eve wore would have been the most beautiful leather design that you could have ever behold.

I mean, sometimes we see clothes made out of leather, but they would not have a patch on that design that God created out of those skins. They would have been beautiful and amazing and incredible.

So, God was the first real estate Agent. He was the first Embroiderer. We could just go on and on.

He was also the first Potter. He said, “I am the Potter. I am the One Who designed your body. And you don't want to accept it? Do you think you know better than Me?”

Then we go to Isaiah 45:9-10: “Woe unto him that striveth with his Maker! (same word, yatsar, the one who forms and fashions, the One Who is the Potter) Shall the clay say to him that fashioneth it, (same Hebrew word) What makest thou? or thy work, He hath no hands? Woe unto him that saith unto his father, What begettest thou? or to the woman, What hast thou brought forth?”

 

So God challenges us when we complain, when we reject the way God created us, the way He created our female bodies. Precious ladies, the most basic, the most knowledgeable, the most reasonable thing we can do is embrace and accept the way our Potter, our Maker, our Designer, created us. He is the Creator. He knows what He is doing.

Now we read Isaiah 64:8: “But now, O Lord, Thou art our Father; we are the clay, and Thou our Potter; and we all are the work of Thy Hand.”

Psalm 100: 3: “Know ye not that the LORD He is God: it is He that hath made us, and not we ourselves;” In the margin of my Bible it says, for the words “not we ourselves,” it says, “His we are.” We belong to Him. He was our Creator, and we belong to Him. We found that out at the very beginning of this passage in Psalm 139, if you have been listening to this series. If not, I encourage you to go back. This is number five in the series. Go back to the very beginning.

And we found that the first thing that God says about creating the baby in the womb is that God possessed us. That means He owns us. He is the Owner because He is the Creator. HIS WE ARE. We belong to Him.

Psalm 119:73: “Thy hands have made me and fashioned me.:” And so we get all these beautiful Scriptures, just some of them I've given to you, of how God forms and fashions us.

Back to Jeremiah 1:5: God not only fashioned him, He says that God knew him. Knew him before he was born! Ladies, how can a mother abort a child in her womb that God already knows? A child that God knew before it was conceived? This is a child that is in God's heart.

Number three. God sanctified him! In the womb! The word is qadesh. It means to be set apart as a holy vessel, purified, dedicated, and consecrated. This is where God . . .

What's our time? Oh, 30 minutes? Well, I'll have to start wrapping up, won't I? OK, God sanctifies him, and He also appointed his destiny. God appointed the destiny of Jeremiah, not when he was 12 years old, not when he was 25 years old, but when he was in the womb! In the womb, I appointed you to be a prophet to the nations! Amen!

Yes, isn't that wonderful? Oh, here's another one. I must read you this. Isaiah 49:1: “Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The Lord hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath He made mention of my name.” This is actually a Messianic Scripture regarding Jesus. But isn't it amazing, that even in this Messianic Scripture, that God is not ashamed to use these words, to use the words “womb,” and “mother,” because these words are so precious to God.

Now, let's get to this next point in this Scripture. Not only is He fashioning the baby, but He says that while we were in the womb, that He wrote everything about us, about the way He created us, about every member of our physical body, and also our inner workings too, as we've been finding out, and our destiny.

He wrote them all in a book! Yes, God has books, lots of books. Actually, that's another study that I want to do; all the different kinds of books that God has. But one of the books He has, maybe He's got hundreds and thousands and millions of books of these, of how He's writing about every little thing about us, in the womb, and our destiny.

Now that word, “book,” let me see, because somewhere I have got what it means. Yes, it's cefer, or however you pronounce it in Hebrew (say-fer). It means “writing.” It means “a book, a letter, a scroll, or a scribe.” So God is also a Scribe. He was the first Scribe. He was the First of everything.

We also see, oh yes, so after the psalmist has been writing all these amazing, amazing descriptions, how God creates the baby in the womb before we were even conceived, He goes on to say in verse 17: “How precious also are Thy thoughts unto me, O God. How great is the sum of them. If I should count them, they are more in number than the sand. When I awake, I am still with Thee.”

After the psalmist has described His incredible, miraculous workings in the womb, and we have been five weeks talking about them, he goes on to say, oh, I just can hardly take them in. I mean, they are just more than I can ever imagine, because they don't just finish in the womb. They start there in the womb and God continues His workings with us every day.

Now, I would like to finish with revealing something to you from this beautiful psalm (Palm 139). I hope you'll read the whole psalm over again, because it's so wonderful. In this psalm, we see beautiful aspects of the character of God. We see His Omniscience. That's His all-knowingness. God knows everything. We see that in verses one to six. I won't read it all, perhaps just a little bit here. Yes, “Thou compassest my path and my lying down, and art acquainted with all my ways. For there is not a word in my tongue, but, lo, O Lord, thou knowest it altogether.“ That's a bit challenging, isn't it, with some of the words we say sometimes.

Wow. He says: “Thou hast beset me behind and before, and laid thine hand upon me.” Also, we see His Omniscience in the passage we have been learning about the creating of the baby.

Then we see the Omnipresence of God revealed in this psalm. In verses seven to twelve, the psalmist says that it doesn't matter where I go. I can't even get away from Your presence. “If I ascend up into heaven, Thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, Thou art there.” There is nowhere I can go where God is not, because He is Omnipresent. Oh, it's so incredible.

Then we see His Omnipotence, that is His all-powerfulness. We learned so much of that in verses 13 to 16, of His creation of the baby in the womb. In this creation, we see His Omniscience, and His Omnipotence.

Then we see Him as the Omnibenevolent God, the God Who is all good, and all loving, when David says: “How precious are your thoughts to me, and how great is the sum of them,” and so on.

We also see His Omnisapience, that's His all-wisdom. God is all wisdom. He is the only One Who has all wisdom. We know some people who can be very wise, but they only have an aspect of wisdom. It's only God who has all wisdom.

Romans 16:27: “To the only wise God be glory through Jesus Christ forever. Amen.” It's only in Christ that I have all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. They are all in Him. We see His wisdom as we have been studying this beautiful passage of Psalm 139 and the creation of the baby.

Therefore, ladies, I love that, don't you? We see one, two, three, four, five, of the omni descriptions of our wonderful God in this psalm.

Well, time has gone, and I trust you have been blessed. If you haven't got to hear all the sessions, we've done five sessions on this passage, go back and listen to them all. You will be so blessed.

Let me pray.

“Dear Father, I thank You so much for Your incredible creation, that You are the One Who fashioned us and formed us in the womb. We thank You, Oh God, that Your workings in our lives do not stop at the womb, but You continue to work in us. You have promised to continue working in us, and we can be confident that You will do this until the day of Jesus Christ.

I pray, Father, that You will move and work in every heart and soul and mind of every precious mother and daughter listening to this podcast, that we will all be those who are soft and sensitive and open to listen to Your voice, to be open to Your workings in our lives. Lord, we know that sometimes Your workings are not easy, because You have to deal with us. You have to speak to us, You have to correct us. It's not always easy. But we thank You that, Lord, as we receive this from You, You bring us into a larger place. You grow us, and we grow and learn. I pray that You will help us to all grow into the image of Christ, for that is Your ultimate plan for our lives.

We thank You, Father, and I bless every mother, every wife, every daughter who is listening now. In the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”