PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 284: Our Hearts and Our Homes, Part 1
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 284: Our Hearts and Our Homes, Part 1
You are the temple of the living God, a house of the Lord. Is every part of your life open to God's Spirit? Is your home also a house of the Lord? Is every room in your home open to God's scrutiny and light?
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Well, this week is Thanksgiving week. After this podcast, I’m going to have to start getting into it myself and preparing for our great Thanksgiving again this year.
I must tell you about a documentary we watched last night. On Sunday nights we like to do something special. We have been going through what is called “Biblical Citizenship.” It’s an eight-week course that you can get hold of through “Patriot Academy.” I really would encourage you to go through this course if you haven’t already done it. We were all so blessed. It was so amazing.
Every single week was a new DVD for eight weeks. We learned so much about our Constitution, and the way our Founding Fathers set up this county, which has been lost today. I think everyone needs to know these truths. You can do it with your family, or you can do it in a group at church, whatever you would like.
But what we did, because we were a church group, really, but we have it here in our home. We could put it on the big screen downstairs where we have our church fellowship. After the DVD we would then have trivia, or a quiz, because there are questions already written out for each week of the course. We would do the questions. We would have two sides. The competition was pretty fierce to see who would win. We would learn so much as we tried to answer all the questions and see who could win. That was really fun. But I’d love to encourage you about that.
Last night we watched “Police State.” That is the new documentary put out by Dinesh D’Souza. Every one of his movies, documentary movies, are very, very professionally done and very enlightening. I wonder if you’ve seen any of them before. I’ll mention some of them so that you can get hold of them. Go to Amazon and get the DVDs or you can download them.
We have watched all these at different times throughout the years, as they came to the theaters. There was “Obama’s America.” That was in 2016.
“Trump Card,” “The Big Lie,” “Death of a Nation,” “Hillary’s America,” and “America, Imagine the World Without Her.” Then this latest one, “Police State.” They are all worth watching.
It was amazing to watch, even on this documentary and also movie. You don’t get bored. We watched about three different occasions of people whose homes have been raided by the FBI. They were kidnapped and taken off (even as we shared, remember we shared the testimony a few weeks ago about Bethany Vaughn sharing about her husband). This family lives just a few miles from us.
They were also raided by the FBI for nothing. He had been at an abortion clinic, but not trying to stop people going in or anything. They came and raided his home and now he is waiting for the final outcome of his court case. He could receive 11 years in prison. This is happening all over. It’s very enlightening. I’d encourage you to check that out. We need to keep up with what is happening in our nation, don’t we?
Well, ladies, today I want to share with you. My subject is: “OUR HEARTS AND OUR HOMES,” because they do go together. We’re going to look at a few Scriptures. I’d like to take you first to 2 Chronicles 29. This is the chapter where Hezekiah began to rule and reign in Judah.
Now Hezekiah didn’t have, well, maybe he did because of his mother. His father was a very wicked king, King Ahab. But then it says in V. 2: “And Hezekiah did that which was right in the sight of the Lord, according to all that David his father had done.”
Before that, in v. 1, it says: “And his mother’s name was Abijah, the daughter of Zekariah.” It’s interesting when the Bible talks about each of the kings of Israel, and also of Judah (because after the reign of Solomon, I know you’ll be aware that the whole kingdom was divided. After Solomon, his son Rehoboam became king). But he didn’t last very long because he didn’t take the advice of the elders of Israel. Instead. he took the advice of the young men who were around him. Because of that, the ten tribes fled from Rehoboam, and they became the Northern Kingdom of Israel. Rehoboam was only left with Judah and Benjamin and some of the Levites. They were known as the kingdom of Judah.
Now we are in the kingdom of Judah. Hezekiah is one of the Judean kinsomegs. Every king that the Bible writes about, it then will say: “And his mother’s name was so-and-so, and he did that which was right in the sight of the Lord.” Or “he did that which was evil in the sight of the Lord.” It reveals that the mothers had a great influence on their sons, because it’s immediately after the mention of the mother that it says whether they were a good king or whether they were a bad king.
Hezekiah was one who clung to the Lord and “did that which right in the eyes of the Lord.” Now it’s in the very first year of his reign, right at the start. He starts off well. In V. 3: Hezekiah, “in the first year of his reign, in the first month.” He didn’t wait around. He got stuck in immediately.
“In the first month he opened the doors of the house of the Lord and repaired them.” Because his father Ahab was a wicked king, he had shut up the doors of the temple, the house of the Lord. So, praise God! Here comes a young king and he’s opening the doors of the temple again. As we look into the Scriptures today, we’re going to be likening these Scriptures to us personally, to our homes, because in each one of our homes we’re seeking to put the Lord first.
I know that each one of you wants to make your home a house of the Lord. Isn’t that true? We all want our homes to be a home of the Lord. God wants our homes to be His home. He also wants our personal bodies to be His homes. We go over to the New Testament, and we see that God now calls our bodies His temple.
Back in the Old Testament, they first had the tabernacle. Then when David began to reign, he had such a longing to build a temple for the Lord, not something that was not very permanent. He wanted to build a glorious temple for the Lord. But God said to David, “No, you’re not going to do it, David. You’ve been a man of war. You’ve shed much blood. Your son Solomon is the one who will build the temple.”
But now, we go to the New Testament. Let’s read. We can go to 1 Corinthians 6. It’s interesting. Keep this in mind. 1 Corinthians 6 talks about us being the temple of the Lord. 2 Corinthians 6 also talks about us being the temple of the Lord. If you want to remember Scriptures about this subject, you can remember 1 Corinthians 6 and 2 Corinthians 6. That makes it easy, doesn’t it?
In 1 Corinthians 6:19-20: “What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.”
We go to 2 Corinthians 6:14-18: “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” That means in marriage, or in business, or in any relationship where you’re going to be yoked together. Dear ladies, I remember being brought up on that Scripture. It was continually preached from the pulpit. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” The message would come forth. Don’t marry an unbeliever. Look for a Christian man to marry. That’s very good advice.
But it’s rather sad, isn’t it, that in this society in which we are living, even in the church realm that we are living, I think that we have to look for more than just marrying a believer, because today there can be many young men (and here we’re thinking about our daughters now). There are many young men in the church who are believers. They believe that Jesus died and was buried and rose again. They believe He is the Son of God. They have most probably received Christ into their lives. Yes, they are born again, and they love God.
But they actually haven’t got a biblical worldview, because we can be born again in our hearts, and our minds are still thinking like the world, because we have been programmed with humanism and progressivism, and all the -isms; everything that is being put out there in our current education system, and in the media, and everywhere, even in the church. I bring that in here as I read that Scripture.
We must encourage our daughters (and daughters if you are listening), you are looking for more than someone who just believes in God.
Look for a man who has a biblical worldview. That means that he completely trusts the Bible as the Word of God and he is searching to know what God says on every subject for his life.
He’s standing on that. That’s a man that you have to look for.
On one podcast I shared characteristics and attributes that I believe young daughters need to look for as they’re looking for the man of their dreams, which every young girl is looking for. Since then, I have developed that more. If you are interesting, you can email me at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. and I will send you that. I think I had about 21 points to look for. Wow! That’s quite a lot, isn’t it? But it gives you something to really look for so that you can be blessed in finding a man of God.
Let’s carry on here. “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers; for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? And what agreement hath Christ with Belial? or what part [or sharing in common] hath he that believeth with an infidel?”
“And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for you are the temple of the living God,” Did you get that? Here it is again. It was spoken in 1 Corinthians 6; now 2 Corinthians 6. “You are the temple of the living God.”
Back in Jerusalem, there was a temple. It was a glorious temple. It was overlaid with gold. It shone with gold, pure gold. It housed the shekinah glory of God in the Holy of Holies. But that temple’s not there anymore. It was put to rubble.
YOU ARE GOD’S TEMPLE
But you see, we don’t need a temple now, because now, since Jesus died, that veil between the Holy Place and the Holy of Holies was torn apart from top to bottom. Now, it is no longer hidden. We can go into the Holy of Holies. We can fellowship with God 24/7. We are such a blessed people. But more than that, God is now saying that you, me, we are the temples of the living God.
That word “temple” there in the Greek is not the word that’s used for the temple. It’s the word that is used for the “Holy of Holies,” the place where God dwells. Back then, the place where only the high priest could go in, and he only once year, carrying the blood. But now, we are the temple. It’s hard for our minds to get around it, that this is the truth.
Dear precious ladies, mothers, wives, daughters listening. Each one of us are a temple housing the Presence of God because He has come to dwell in us. “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” He now dwells in us by His Spirit. This body is a temple that houses the Presence of God. What a glorious, glorious truth! We are now the houses of the Lord. Our homes we want to make houses of the Lord.
IS EACH ROOM IN YOUR HOME OPEN TO THE PRESENCE OF GOD?
Let’s keep looking at this passage here, shall we? In the very first year and the first month, Hezekiah opened, he opened the doors to the house of the Lord and repaired them. Lovely ladies, are the doors of our homes open to the Lord? Is every room in your home open to the Presence of the Lord?
Your kitchen, I guess that’s where everything happens mainly in the home. Well, it’s where everything should be happening. It’s the hub of the home. It’s where we prepare our meals. It’s where the family congregates around the kitchen table, around the dining room table, around, doing their projects, eating their meals. It’s where we gather as family, in the kitchen, in the dining room, in the lounge, in this living area. Is it open to God, to His Holy Spirit?
What about the doors of our bedroom? Is that open to the Lord? Open to His holiness? What about the bedrooms of our children? Are they open to the moving of the Spirit of God? Do you know what’s going on in the bedrooms of your children? What about your teenagers?
Dear precious mother, God has given you the job to watch over your home, watch over your family, watch over the rooms of your home. You need to know what’s going on in the bedrooms of your children, especially your teenagers. What do they have in their rooms? What do they have under the bed? What do they have in their drawers? What are they listening to and seeing on their iPhones? Are you truly a watchdog? Yes, that responsibility is ours.
Don’t let any of the rooms, don’t let one room in your home be closed off to the Spirit of God. Make sure every room in your home is open, open to the Spirit of God. Our own temple, not only physically, but emotionally and spiritually, in every way. Let’s open the gates of our souls and our minds, every part of our beings, to the Lord. Because we’re His temple. He wants to fill His temple with His Holy Spirit. Therefore, we cannot close off anything.
Are there any areas that you’re closing off from that probing of the Spirit of the Lord? No, don’t stay closed off. Open your heart to Him. Sometimes that’s not easy. You’ve got to deal with things. You have to let God work in your heart. Let’s be open. That’s the very beginning. Nothing can happen until our hearts and minds are open to Him.
We keep reading on here. 2 Chronicles 29:5. Hezekiah said to them, these were the Levites: “Hear me, ye Levites, sanctify now yourselves,” that’s “set apart yourselves, “and sanctify the house of the LORD God of your fathers.” First of all, you start with yourself, start with me. First of all, we sanctify, that means “to make holy.” The word is kadesh, “to make holy.” The word “holy” means “to set apart from the common.” Not the normal . . . the normal, common thing. No, to be sanctified, to be holy, is to be set apart from the common.
I remember reading one commentary. This man brought out that one of the meanings of “holiness” is “uncommonness.” You are not staying in the common. No. You’re set apart unto God, unto His kingdom, which is a royal kingdom. You’re set apart even unto royalty. We first set apart ourselves, and then we begin to sanctify and set apart our homes for God. Amen?
It went on. In doing this, you have to “carry forth the filthiness out of the holy place.” That was the first job he gave the Levites. “Sanctify yourselves first, Levites. You can’t go in and sanctify the temple until you’ve sanctified yourselves.”
We seek to make our homes holy temples for the Lord, but we’ve got to be sanctified ourselves. We can’t make holy homes for God in this world (which is His plan for us . . . yes, mothers, God wants you . . . one of your biggest tasks is making your home a holy place for God in this world, a place where God can dwell in your home.
First of all, we sanctify ourselves. He said, then I want you to go in and “carry forth all the filthiness out of the holy place, for our fathers have trespassed, and done that which was evil in the eyes of the LORD our God, and have forsaken Him, and have turned away their faces from the habitation of the LORD, and turned their backs.” At this time, when Hezekiah came to power, to reign, the people had turned their backs on the temple. They had turned their backs on the habitation of the Lord, the place where God dwells in the Holy of Holies. They turned their backs.
We are the temple of the Lord. We’re making our homes temples of the Lord, holy places for the Lord. But we also have, not physical temples today, but we have places also where we worship, which are houses of the Lord. Sometimes they are homes. We meet in our home fellowship. Other times they’re in a church building, or someone is renting a building, any kind of building where the saints can meet.
These places are also houses of the Lord where He wants to meet with His people. We come to meet with Him and the people of the Lord. We must never turn our backs on this habitation of the Lord. Well, you’ve been hearing me talk about that, haven’t you? I just did ten podcasts about the assembling of God’s people together.
I wanted to go on more, but I thought maybe you had had enough. I hope you got the message, because even in ten podcasts I did not give you all of the Scriptures of God’s heart that He has for the assembling of His people. Then coming together as the habitation of the Lord. Let’s never ever turn our backs on the assembling of His people.
But it also gets right back to our homes, because we’re going to read on and see what happened in the temple and how these things should also be happening in our homes, because what happened in the house of the Lord, in the tabernacle, then the temple, was a type of what He wants to have happen in our homes.
It goes on to say in v. 7: “Also they have shut up the doors of the porch, and put out the lamps, and have not burned incense, nor offered burnt offerings in the holy place unto the God of Israel.” Because they’d shut up the doors, all these things that God had mandated to be happening every day in the temple were not happening. They’d put out the lamps!
And do you remember that when God first told them about the lamps and when they dedicated the tabernacle and they lit the lamps for the very first time, God said that the lamps were to burn always. It was never, ever to go out from that time (Exodus 27:20, 21). But here we’re reading that it’s already gone out. The lamps had been put out.
What were the lamps? The lamp is talking here about the golden lampstand that God first talked about that they had put in the tabernacle. Back in the tabernacle, there was only one golden lampstand. It was made out of one piece of pure gold. It had seven branches. It was like a tree, three branches on one side, three on the other, and the one in the middle.
They had to light this lampstand every morning and every evening. They had to, before they lit it, they had to pour in fresh oil, because if they didn’t have oil for the lamps, there would be no light. It was coming to God every morning and every evening to be refilled with fresh oil.
The Bible talks about David, who was anointed with “fresh oil,” (Psalm 92:10) not stale oil! Oh, goodness me! Have you smelled stale oil? It is horrible! Just on a little practical note, you must make sure, when you buy oil, that you purchase fresh oil. When you’re buying olive oil, which is a very healthy and wonderful oil, don’t purchase it in a clear plastic container. If it is not in a tin which keeps it dark, or a dark glass container, it’s going to go rancid.
An oil that is in a normal bottle that you can see through is most probably rancid when you use it. Some are more rancid than others. Some of it you may not smell it. Some you really can! Rancid oil is bad. You never want to use that. Of course, I hope you don’t use any of these other vegetable oils that they have there in the supermarket. They’re all in their clear plastic bottles. All of them are not good for you at all.
Olive oil is a beautiful oil, of course. But also, it’s not really the best oil to cook with. Wonderful to have on your salads because it’s raw and fresh. But it’s best not to cook with it. The only really healthy oils to cook with are coconut oil, or red palm oil, or butter is good, too. Beef fat, which is purer is better than these other oils that go rancid and go to trans-fats. Just popping that in.
They had to pour in fresh oil every morning, every evening and light the lamps. There was absolutely no light in the Holy Place, except the light of the golden lampstand. It shone on the table of showbread. On that table were 12 loaves of bread. They represented the 12 tribes of Israel, but they ultimately represented Christ who is our Bread, who is our sustenance.
In the tabernacle there was one candlestick. There was one table of showbread. But now, we’re looking at Solomon’s temple here. It is plural. They had put out the lamps. Do you know how many they put out? Well, in Solomon’s temple, there were actually ten golden lampstands. And there were also ten tables of showbread. That means there were 120 loaves of bread on those tables.
Sadly, they had put out the lamps. They had to be relit. Then it also says: “Nor have they offered burnt offerings.”
Oh, wait on. They haven’t burned incense! Whoo! There’s another one. They haven’t burned incense. Well, what’s that talking about? Of course, that is talking about the golden altar of incense. There were three pieces of furniture in the Holy Place. This third piece was right before the veil where you went into the Holy of Holies.
It was close to the Presence of God. Because it was close to the Presence of God, it represented the prayers of the saints, of our communing with God. In the Old Testament, we read about how the altar of incense was the prayers of the saints. Then we go over to the New Testament. In fact, we go right to Revelation 5:8, where it speaks of the incense. Here it says that when John was looking into the heavenly realm, he saw this altar of incense.
Now ladies, just get this. Are you getting this for a minute? John saw this altar of incense. He didn’t see it back in the tabernacle because there was no tabernacle. He didn’t see it in the temple in Jerusalem because there was no temple in Jerusalem. He saw it in the heavenly realm, because that altar of incense is there in the heavens, and it is there NOW. In fact, the one that God told them how to make for the tabernacle was made in the pattern of the heavenly.
This is not something that we just read about back in the Old Testament. It is now! It is reality now! It talks about every one of them having (this was the four and twenty elders) they had “harps and golden vials full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints” (Revelation 5:8).
In Revelation 8:3, it also talks about how the angel came and stood at the altar of incense, having a golden censer: “And another angel came and stood at the altar, having a golden censer; and there was given unto him much incense, that he should offer it with the prayers of all saints upon the golden altar which was before the throne. And the smoke of the incense, which came with the prayers of the saints, ascended up before God out of the angel's hand.”
In Revelation 9:13, he saw another time: “And the sixth angel sounded, and I heard a voice from the four horns of the golden altar of incense which is before the throne of God.”
Ladies, what was in 2 Chronicles 29? They were no longer coming before the Lord every morning and every evening to light the lamps, to be filled afresh with fresh oil, to come and pray and commune with God.
The sad thing is that today this is happening in many houses of the Lord. They are not operating the altar of incense which is to come together as a family and pray! They were commanded to do it every morning and every evening.
ARE YOUR LAMPS STILL BURNING OR ARE THEY OUT?
So, ladies, are we operating according to how God wants us to? Or are our lamps out? The golden altar of incense . . . we’re no longer burning incense. Now, I know that life is busy. Often, we just feel as though we can’t even find time to do these things. But ladies, I believe that these are the most important things that we should make happen in our homes.
In our home, I seek to make our time morning and evening, where we come together as a family (whoever is in our home) we make this our priority. It doesn’t matter what’s happening. Everything else has to fit around it. If we don’t get anything else done, we get this done, because this is the first priority.
But our time has gone.
“Dear Father, we thank You for Your Word. It’s so precious. It’s so revealing. We pray, Lord God, that You will help us to be those who get in sync with Your Word. Save us from letting the lamps burn out. Lord God, there are so many homes in this nation, Christian homes, where the lamps have been put out. Lord, there are so many homes where the altar of incense is forgotten.
“And Lord, You are waiting morning and evening for Your people to come, to come and meet with You. Lord, in Your Word, You tell us You want to meet with us at these places. You want to meet with us. You want to hear our hearts. You want to hear our cries. You want to speak to our hearts. Lord God, help us to be committed, Lord, to Your plan, and to Your mandate. We ask it in the precious Name of Jesus. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell * www.aboverubies.org
Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Links to points mentioned above:
PODCASTS WITH BETHANY VAUGHN (whose husband was raided by the FBI).
Podcasts:
# 278 https://www.buzzsprout.com/183665/13707383
# 279 https://www.buzzsprout.com/183665/13749850.
To see the movie/documentary, POLICE STATE order the DVD from Amazon or download.
10 PODCASTS ABOUT HOW GOD LOVES HIS PEOPLE TO ASSEMBLE TOGETHER
GOD LOVES TOGETHERING
Podcasts 271 – 276 and 279 – 282.
WHAT QUALITIES SHOULD A GIRL LOOK FOR IN A HUSBAND?
No. 1: A MAN WHO IS COMMITED TO SEXUAL PURITY
In the Bible, God speaks of virgins getting married. Sadly, there are men who have lived impure lives in the world but if they have come to Christ and are truly repentant and walking in holiness, they can be redeemed. If this is the situation in the man you are looking at, you had better truly know (along with your parents) that he will strongly stand against all fornication. It is imperative you begin your marriage on a holy foundation.
No. 2: A MAN WHO IS FREE FROM PORNOGRAPHY
This is very important for your parents to check out. If he is drawn to pornography, don’t count on a good marriage. He must be totally free from this abomination. Sometimes a young man may have delved into it in the past, but you must know without a shadow of doubt that he is completely delivered from this evil thing, totally free, and walking in holiness. Pornography is one of the worst destroyers of marriage.
No. 3: A MAN WHO FEARS THE LORD
In Psalm 112, there’s a wonderful passage about men: “Blessed is the man that feareth the Lord and delights greatly in his commandments. His seed shall be mighty upon the earth. The generation of the upright shall be blessed.” God promises that your children will be blessed if you marry a man who fears the Lord. If you want to have children who are blessed of the Lord, marry a man who fears God.
No. 4: A MAN WHO LOVES GOD’S WORD
You want a man who not only believes in the Bible but LOVES the Bible—who loves to search it out and study it (Psalm 1:1-3; 112:2; Joshua 1: 8; and 2 Timothy 3:15). If he spends time each day reading God’s word, he will be strong (1 John 2:14). God’s word will keep him from deception.
Ephesians 5:25-26: “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word.” It is a beautiful thing for a husband to wash his wife with God’s word. That means he’s going to read the Word to you, or with you each day. If you’re looking at a guy who doesn’t even read God’s word, how is he ever going to do that? Find a man who loves God’s Word!
No. 5: A MAN WHO LOVES TO PRAY
Look for a man who will pray with you throughout your marriage. It is so sad that there are many couples who don’t even pray together! Matthew 18:19 says: “If two of you shall agree on earth, as touching anything, it shall be done by My Father which is in heaven.” This Scripture is tailor-made for marriage. It can be any two people who agree but when you have a husband and wife who agree together in prayer it is a powerful thing. Does the guy you are looking at love to go to prayer meetings or would he rather stay away? If he is not interested in going to prayer meetings now, or praying with you each time you meet, don’t expect him to be a man of prayer when you marry him.
No. 6: A MAN WHO IS NOT A WIMP
Sometimes when I have girls around our meal table, I will put out the question: what qualities do you want in a husband? One statement they say frequently is: “I don’t want a wimp!” A girl inherently looks for a man who is a real man, a man of courage, a man she can look up to, a man of strength, a man who will lead her spiritually. Is he a man who is ready to take headship and lead his wife and family in the ways of God? Read Ephesians 5:22-33.
No. 7: A MAN OF COMMITMENT
Look for a man who you know is committed to marriage and who will stay glued to the marriage through thick and thin. (Genesis 2:24).
No.8: A MAN WHO LOVES TO BLESS HIS FAMILY
A wonderful part of our marriage is our Shabbat meal which we enjoy every week. This is a meal where the husband blesses his wife. Then he blesses the children. That is such a beautiful thing. Of course, he doesn’t have to wait until Shabbat. He should constantly bless you every day. You need to see this quality in the man you want to spend your life with.
No. 9: A MAN OF STRONG CHARACTER
A man who holds fast to his convictions. He is not swayed by any “Tom, Dick, and Harry” but seeks out what God says and sticks to it.
No. 10: A MAN WHO IS A HARD WORKER, NOT A SHIRKER
Look for a man who knows how to work hard. He doesn’t do things half-heartedly. He gets “stuck in.” He does the job properly. He finishes the job. He doesn’t leave it half done. He knows how to fix things. Look for a guy like that. Never marry a lazy man.
No. 11: A MAN WHO BELIEVES IN PROVIDING FOR HIS FAMILY
It is the responsibility of the man to provide for his wife and the home so the mother can stay in her nest to care for her children (1 Timothy 5:8). Look for a man who has that conviction. If he doesn’t, well, you won’t want to marry that man. If a young man is not ready to take on the responsibility of embracing and providing for children, he is not ready for marriage. He does not have to have a lot of money when he first gets married, but he must have a job and understand that it is his responsibility to provide for the family.
No. 12: A MAN WHO LOVES CHILDREN
Is the man you are looking at open to embracing all the children that God has for you in your marriage? Does he have a heart for children? Do you notice him picking up babies and little children and carrying them around? It is so important to find this out before you get married.
There are so many mothers who are heartbroken because their husband does not want any more children. That is a very sad thing because God has created the womb to cry out for children. Proverbs 30:15, 16 says there are four things that never say it is enough, that are never satisfied. One is the barren womb. God has put that cry within the womb to long for children. A husband who does not understand this can be very cruel to his wife. He denies the very instinct God has put within her.
No. 13: A MAN WHO WILL NOT COMPROMISE ON ANY LEVEL OF EVIL
He will not watch movies that are slightly tainted or have immorality in them. He will not be victimized by video games. He will have high standards. It’s not enough to marry a man who says he is a Christian. If he’ll watch anything without being troubled, finish with that guy.
No. 14: A MAN WHO IS ALWAYS WILLING TO HELP OTHERS
He does not always think of himself. It’s so wonderful to see a young man who doesn’t only think of himself. He sees someone who has a need and spontaneously goes to help them. That’s a good quality to look for. If he is always thinking of himself and doesn’t see the needs of others, he’s not good marriage material. Selfishness ruins a marriage.
No. 15: A MAN WHO IS COMMITTED TO THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE SAINTS
That means he is a regular attender at church. He doesn’t go sometimes or when he feels like it. Find a young man who is committed to fellowshipping with the people of God because it is a command from God.
Hebrews 10:25: “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together, as the manner of some is. But so much the more, as you see the day approaching.” This is a normal habit for a God-fearing person. The Bible talks about Jesus who went into the synagogue on the sabbath day “as was his habit” (Luke 4:16). The family went to the synagogue. It was their habit, so it was still His habit. It should be the habit in a young man’s life so it will continue to be a habit as children come along and you continue to attend church as a family.
No. 16: A MAN WHO BELIEVES IN HOMESCHOOLING
He is willing and has a vision to homeschool the children God gives to you. There was a time years ago when children could go to public school, but no longer. Today it is a place of brainwashing in humanism, progressivism, alternative lifestyles, homosexuality, and transgenderism. It is no place for a child of God.
No. 17: A MAN THAT IS A “ONE-WOMAN” MAN
You don’t want a womanizer. You want a man that is a ONE-WOMAN MAN. Marriage is an exclusive relationship where you “forsake all others.”
No. 18: A MAN WHO HONORS HIS PARENTS
How a young man treats his mother will be how he treats his wife. Do you see him respecting his parents? Do you see him respecting his sisters? Is he a man who respects and protects women?
No. 19: A MAN WHO LOVES HOSPITALITY
It would be pitiful to be married to a man who is stingy and who does not want anyone to come to your home and join your table for meals. Look for a man who loves people and is open to hospitality (1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:8). Hospitality is the lifestyle of the early church. It is the heart of God (Acts 2:46; Romans 12:13; and 1 Peter 4:8).
No. 20: A MAN WHO IS HUMBLE AND TEACHABLE
Along the road of life and during your marriage you will face many challenges and many lessons. We are all learning along the way, until the very end. A man who has a proud heart and will not listen to reproof can cause heartache in a marriage. Look for a man who is teachable, willing to learn, and who is open to receive reproof. The word reproof occurs 90 times in the Bible. Here are just a few examples: Psalm 141:5; Proverbs 1:8; 9:8, 9; 10:17; 12:1; 13:1, 18; 15:10, 31; 17:10; 21:11b; and Revelation 3:19.
David was a “man after God’s own heart” (1 Samuel 13:14 and Acts 13:22). He certainly wasn’t perfect, but God saw his heart and loved him. Look for a young man who has a heart after God.
And please, never marry a man who has a problem with anger. That is a No No! If he does not know how to control his temper, run from him.
No. 21: A MAN WHO IS FILLED WITH THE SPIRIT OF GOD
Is he open to the anointing of the Holy Spirit? Does he long for revival?
OF COURSE, YOU WILL “FALL IN LOVE”
Of course, above all these qualities, you will “fall in love.” Yes, I believe in falling in love. I believe that God is interested and very involved in bringing couples together. He puts a spark in you and that other person that draws you together. A man could have all the above qualities and yet you are not attracted to him. But there will be a certain man that God ignites you to. It is one of the most exciting things in life. And God is in it.
However, if this young man does not have the above qualities, steel yourself and do not let your heart become involved. You need that spark of love, but marriage will not survive on a spark of love. It needs commitment. And to be committed you need sterling qualities to be committed to.
A godly marriage is the most beautiful thing on earth;
a miserable marriage is the worst thing to endure.
May God bring this wonderful and godly man to you. Amen and amen!
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
P.S. You cannot expect to find a young man fully developed and perfected in all the above points, but you will see the seeds of them in him. Look for the potential of these qualities.