PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 252: Dealing with Childhood Cancer
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 252: Dealing with Childhood Cancer
Courtney Mount joins me today as she shares the heart-rending story of their two-year Millie (their ninth child), who was diagnosed with Stage 4 Neuroblastoma, an aggressive childhood cancer.
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, loveliest ladies! I always love being with you. Today I have an unexpected guest. I didn’t know she was going to be with me. Her name is Courtney. We only met just a little while ago. My dear friend, Pam Fields, who lives over in Exeter, Tennessee. . . you’re about two-and-a-half hours away, aren’t you?
Pam: Right.
Nancy: Well, she called me and said, “I’d love you to meet my friend, Courtney. Can you meet me at the café?” “The café? Of course!” That’s the Trim Healthy Mama Café. That’s where we always meet. Any time we have to meet someone, the greatest place is at the THM Café. I said, “OK, I’ll be there!”
We got together at lunchtime today. Courtney told me her story. Well, sadly, I was a mess. But her story touched my life so much, I said, “Courtney, you’ve got to come home, and we’ve got to do a podcast together.” So, here we are! God is so good to put it all together. In fact, I think you drove to Pam’s place about 11 hours to get to her, didn’t you?
Courtney: That’s exactly right.
Nancy: This is Courtney speaking. She’s actually on her way to Virginia. So, Pam, tell us how this all came to pass.
Pam: It was kind of a funny thing. Courtney and I met online. She was driving through, and said, “How about we meet for coffee?” I said, “I’d love to meet for coffee.” She said, “How about we meet at the Trim Healthy Café?” I said, “Well, we can do that, but it’s about two-and-a-half hours.”
So, meeting for coffee turned into, “Why don’t you stop at my house, and you can spend the night in my guestroom?” It turned into two nights and this whole café adventure. Now, here we are! It’s all adventure! So much fun!
Nancy: Great having you with us too, Pam. Pam has done more than one podcast. I think we’ve done a couple together in the past, haven’t we? Pam also does her own podcast called “The Mom Next Door.”
Pam: “The Mom Next Door: Stories of Faith.”
Nancy: You can check that out. She interviews mothers and all their most incredible stories. You’ll love her podcast too.
So, Courtney, let’s get to know you. You’re the mother of nine children and about to be seven grandchildren.
Courtney: Yes. So very blessed. Ranging from six all the way to 32. And grandbabies from 14 all the way down to one due in April.
Nancy: I think you had quite a few of your own babies with your grandbabies, didn’t you? Tell us about that.
Courtney: Absolutely. I delivered baby number six and my daughter delivered baby number one. I delivered number seven; she had number two. Number eight; she had number three. Number nine; she had number four. It was fun to have grandchildren and children at the same time.
Nancy: I think that’s so amazing! I always dreamed of that happening myself, but it didn’t quite work out. I think there can’t be anything more exciting than having your own baby and having a grandbaby at the same time. They just become such wonderful friends. It’s so wonderful.
So, you started off as a young mom. You had three children very close, didn’t you?
Courtney: Yes. Absolutely. I had my first two children as a teenager. Had my third one at 21 and the world encouraged us to take care of that and not have any more children. We had a vasectomy. I prayed and prayed that the Lord would change my husband’s heart. Every night I would lay my hand on his chest and silently pray but not tell him about it.
About four years into that, he said, “I think I need to have a reversal.” He was very concerned and afraid of going back under the knife. But at the five-year mark, he did have the reversal. Almost a year to the day of that surgery, we had our number four baby at the six-year mark.
Nancy: Oh, that’s so wonderful! You never regret having that reversal, I’m sure.
Courtney: Absolutely not. Those children have been such a joy.
Nancy: Yes. And then, we come to your last little one, number nine. That turned out to be quite a story. Maybe you could tell us about her. You called her Millie, didn’t you?
Courtney: I did call her Millie. When I was pregnant with Millie, I was 42. I didn’t know she would be my last baby, but I was pretty sure she was my last baby. I went to the doctor, and they did an ultrasound. They did some more ultrasounds, an advanced ultrasound. I asked them, why so many ultrasounds? They told me I was elderly, so that was pretty humorous at that time, because I didn’t feel elderly! I had all these little children.
Millie’s birth was perfect. She came very quickly. She breastfed well. She was a healthy, happy little girl who never had any issues until her second birthday. At that time, she started crying a lot. She didn’t sleep well, just very unhappy. I took her to the doctor sometime during that spring, and the doctor said, “Well, she might be getting over an ear infection. It doesn’t really look like much is wrong.”
Two weeks go by. We go back to the doctor. “Well, maybe she’s been sick, but she looks like she’s doing better.” Every time we took her, she wasn’t well, but she wasn’t sick.
In May of 2019, we went to the Grand Canyon. We took 15 members of our family in three carloads out there for the family trip of a lifetime. While we were there, she fevered every night for about an hour or two. It wasn’t a high fever, 99, just enough that as a mom of nine children, I would think, well, maybe she was teething. Maybe it was just a normal thing. But by the next morning, she was fine again.
I called her doctor, who said, when you get back in town, bring her in. We got back to Oklahoma and took her to the doctor. We put her on the table, and she looked fine again.
Nancy: It’s amazing, isn’t it, how long it can take to really find out what’s happening.
Courtney: It is. And it never seemed like she really was sick. It actually seemed like she was an unhappy child. At that point, that doctor handed me a lab slip and said, “If she continues to feel bad, you need to go get labs done, but for now she’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I went home, continued on.
Two weeks later, I had a meeting at my home with two of my dear friends. We sat on my couch, and I shared my concerns. I said, “I don’t know what to do with this baby. Something is not right.” They prayed over me that I would have wisdom. They prayed that the doctor would see what was going on.
I walked them to the car, and as they came back, Millie was up in the middle of my bed, with her hand pressed to her stomach, crying, “Oh, my tummy hurts!” That was the night that we decided we would take her to Urgent Care. From Urgent Care, they sent us to the emergency room. We left the emergency room at 3 AM that morning, being referred to Children’s Hospital. In our area, Children’s Hospital was a long wait. However, Children’s Hospital called the next day and scheduled her to come right in. So, we knew it was something serious. We just didn’t know what.
Nancy: Wow! So, what happened when you went in the next day?
Courtney: We got to the Children’s Hospital. They sent us to the liver specialist, who looked her over and said, “She looks great,” of course. She did look good. She said, “Maybe she has food allergies.” So, I left that doctor’s office texting my church prayer chain that it looks like it’s food allergies.
Then I texted the same thing to my husband, but said, “They also want to do an ultrasound and some bloodwork, so you need to meet me at the hospital, and we’ll do those things together.” I went downstairs and did the ultrasound. The tech was very chatty and happy, but after a few moments, she just got deathly silent.
I said, “If there’s something I need to know, you need to tell me today. Let me see a doctor,” because we lived so far away. She asked us to wait in the waiting room. My husband joined me about that point. Things get really fuzzy right about that point in the story.
A doctor came out, and at some point, said either, “You need to go upstairs to the tenth floor,” or maybe he said, “You need to go to the Oncology Department.” But Nancy, I’m not sure I knew what oncology was.
By the time I got in the elevator, I was calling my friend, who was asking me, “Where are you going?” “The tenth floor.” I knew her little boy had cancer. He had leukemia. She said, “Who is her doctor going to be?” I told her, and she said, “That’s our doctor.” Just like the Lord allowed me to rest in the fact that there were some common factors in not walking into the unknown completely.
We got up to the tenth floor, got off the elevator, were met by the doctor, and taken to a small room. My husband and I left. We don’t remember the same things. I think the trauma of diagnosis. . . He remembers the doctor taking us to a large room and telling us our daughter had cancer. I remember being in a small waiting room and the doctor coming in and telling us, “I’m sorry. It looks like Millie has cancer.”
Nancy: Isn’t it amazing? I think, even later, after, you still couldn’t work out who was right.
Courtney: That’s right. And to this day, we just agree to disagree, because we can’t figure it out.
The doctor did say, in my mind, that she had probably Wilm’s tumors, which would be a 95% survival rate. I was sure he said it’s not neuroblastoma. Neuroblastoma stands out to me, because at that time, I had had a friend, who years earlier, had lost a child to neuroblastoma, so I knew it was a highly aggressive, very deadly cancer. I left the hospital that day. He allowed me to take her home and come back.
Nancy: Which one was it, exactly?
Courtney: Well, you don’t know right off. They wait, and they have to do testing.
Nancy: I see.
Courtney: So, you walk out of the hospital. I’m carrying this baby that I know has cancer in her body, and I’m driving towards my home, not knowing what I’m going to find. We get back two days later. We get ready to admit into the hospital.
The doctor comes in and says, “Monday morning we’re going to test Millie for neuroblastoma.” I was floor-boarded. I said, “No, you absolutely are not!” He said, “Yes, that’s what we’re going to do.”
My husband said, “Why are you responding like that?” I said, “He said it was not neuroblastoma. He said it was Wilm’s.” He said, “Honey, he said right off that he thought it was neuroblastoma.” But my husband didn’t know the name of the cancer that our friend’s child had passed away from. It didn’t hit him like it hit me until I explained what that was.
After about two weeks, the confirmation came back that she did have neuroblastoma. She had every bad check you could have with it. The doctor said, “We’ll fight this, but it doesn’t look good.” He did. She fought. She took six rounds of frontline chemo. She did immunotherapy. She did all kinds of treatments over a year’s time. But come around April, her belly started to hurt again. She started complaining.
Nancy: What do you think about doing all that? Was it worthwhile doing that? Would she have still lived the same amount of time without it or not?
Courtney: I honestly don’t know.
Nancy: You don’t know.
Courtney: I mean, as the parent, you beat yourself up. Like, did we go through that for nothing?
Nancy: Yes. But then all you’re doing is trying to do something, aren’t you?
Courtney: You are. You are. I can say, as we look backwards, that every second we had in that hospital with her was a time of connection and relationship-building. My husband and I became very, very close. In March of that year was when covid hit, they sent me home. They would not allow me to be with her. But her and dad had got to be together and be so close.
Nancy: That was such a sad time, when so many parents could not be with their children, and so many children couldn’t be with aged parents. It was so disgusting. It was the opposite of medical care to separate families. But anyway, you had to alternate. When your husband was there, you were home. You were there, he had to be home. That’s how it works.
Courtney: Yes. It was a huge division in our family. We had gone from being a large homeschool family that ate dinner together every night. We lived on a farm. We had a lot of activities there.
To not see Daddy. He was at the hospital. I would go to the hospital during the day, and I would come home and do the children at night. But a lot of times, they were already in bed before I got home. I had to get up and leave by 6 AM to get back to the hospital so he could go to work the next day. A lot of the children felt deserted. Their sister was gone. She was sick. Their parents were gone. They were with sitters all day long. We were hanging on by a thread, definitely.
Nancy: Yes. And then, was your husband able to come back home for work?
Courtney: Absolutely. In March or April, due to covid, his work campus shut down, and they told him he could work from home, which was such a blessing.
Nancy: Then he could work from the hospital while he was with Millie.
Courtney: Yes.
Nancy: That was wonderful.
Courtney: It was.
Nancy: He, in that time, because usually it’s the mother spending more time, but he got to be spending as much time as you.
Courtney: Absolutely. I feel like that gave them a chance to develop a relationship that maybe he wouldn’t have had with any of our other children, because he wasn’t around as much with them, you know, working. But with her, he was there. They wouldn’t let me go. I was home with the children. He was there day in and day out with her.
Nancy: This was about a year of doing this?
Courtney: Yes, about a year.
Nancy: Oh, wow. That’s what you had to do. Total separating of your lives for a whole year. Yes, yes.
Courtney: At the end of that year, her tumor started growing rapidly. They told us she probably would not live. They did say we could try another round of chemo, but if we did the tumor would burst open and start to bleed. She would bleed to death pretty much instantly. Or we could take her home on hospice and have a little time with her.
Because of having such a large family, they were not going to allow any of our children or our grandparents into the hospital, due to covid. If my husband and I would have taken her to the hospital, she would have never seen her family again. That wasn’t an option.
Nancy: No. That’s the cruelest thing you could ever think about.
Courtney: It was. It was devastating. So, knowing that they were probably better prepared to take care of her in the hospital, but that we needed family, we loaded her in the car and took her home for the last three weeks of her life.
The first week she played in the yard with her siblings, rode her little tricycle. A lot of joy of being together. The second week, she lay on the couch. She had some tea parties, stuff she could get up for a few minutes and lay back down. The third week, she pretty much just slept on the couch until Wednesday morning when she passed away, right after lunch on Wednesday. That was really difficult. We were all there.
Nancy: Tell us how all that happened.
Courtney: On Monday, she did not want to come out of her bedroom. I allowed her to lay back there all day, with people checking on her. On Tuesday morning, I thought, “We’re going to power through this. We’re going to get dressed. I made her change clothes and come to the couch. She just laid there all day. She sat up once to visit with her grandmother, and one more time to visit with her daddy.
Then at bedtime, she said, “My mouth tastes yukky,” just out of the blue. I said, “Would you like to brush your teeth?” And she said, “Yes,” so I carried her to the bathroom and sat her on the counter. Her poor little frame was so heavy and big by this time, with the tumor. She was very wobbly on her feet. But I brushed her teeth, and she said, “I’m going to walk to bed.”
She had so much sass and spunk in her that she was bound and determined she would walk. So, I offered her my hand, and she walked about eight steps, and she said, “You’re going to carry me to bed.” I picked her up and carried her, and she said, “I gonna sleep with you, Mama.” She would never say, “I’m going to.” It was always, “I gonna.” “I gonna sleep with you.”
She got on the bed, and she put her head to my head, and she held my hand all night long. And amazingly, at three-and-a-half years old, she had never slept with us. She always wanted her own bed. If I ever tried to get in her hospital bed, she’d say, “You go home now, Mom. You get out of my bed.” She wanted her own bed, by herself. But that night, she wanted to sleep with me. I don’t know if she knew it was that close to the end. It was such a precious time.
Nancy: Oh, but how wonderful! You were sharing with me, Courtney, how she continued to nurse from you, right up to the end. I think that is so wonderful. That must have been her greatest comfort.
And, of course, the hospital didn’t want you doing that, did they? People would say, “What are you doing that for?” People don’t understand, do they, the power of the breast, and the comfort, the consolation that it is. It’s not just a food, oh no. What a blessed experience that you had that with her, right to the very end.
Courtney: Absolutely. I usually weaned my babies at about two years old, a little bit after two. At that time, she was so sick. There was no way I could wean her.
Nancy: No.
Courtney: When you’re taking chemotherapy, you don’t eat, so I continued to nurse her. The doctors would say, “You know she’s not getting anything. She doesn’t get any nutrients.” I said, “Well, it’s OK. We’re going to do this anyway.”
Nancy: Yes! It’s nothing about nutrients at that age. It’s about that bonding, and that comfort, and that closeness.
Courtney: Now, unfortunately, in April, when they only allowed one parent to go to the hospital, her daddy had to go with her, and I had to stay home. So, I knew that last day I would nurse her, and she would go in for her treatments.
When she came home a week later, she said, “Can we nursie?” I said, “No, it’s broke.” She said, “What? What do you mean, it’s broke?” I said, “Well, it’s broke, but we can always rock.” To the day she died, she would say, “We can’t nursie, but we can always rock.” We did. We rocked.
Even the morning before she passed away, we were in the rocking chair together. And then I laid her in her bed. Throughout the day, different family members came to see her. Gratefully, her passing was fairly peaceful. She called out to us, and we heard her. We all gathered around. My husband blessed her.
When she was a newborn, we had always said the Lord’s blessing over our children at bedtime. We would say, “The Lord bless you and keep you. The Lord make His face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May He lift His countenance upon you and give you peace.”
And then as a family joke, sometimes I’d say, “A piece of chicken, a piece of candy, maybe He gives you a piece of pizza!” They’d say, “No, Mom! It’s God’s peace!” But we laugh and have a good time with it. Even to this day, my other children will say, “Are you going to come bless me for bed?” That’s like their bedtime prayer.
Nancy: Amen. That’s beautiful.
Courtney: I leaned close to her little ear, and I said, “Just run to Jesus, baby. Run to Jesus.” As she did pass away, I said, “Please hand her to me.” My husband picked her up and put her in my arms. I remember bowing over her, knowing she was gone. I could feel all the weight go into her body. Her little body got really heavy.
I thought that was the end of that story. And yet, for weeks we didn’t have her passing. I had prayed, “Lord, she came from my body. I held her first. I really want to hold her as she passes away, yet I would never, ever steal that time from my husband.” That was so important because they were so close. I had not shared that with my husband.
We went on a date night about six weeks after she passed away, and he mentioned, “You know, she took her last breath in your arms.” I just broke. I sobbed, and I said, “I don’t know what you mean.” He said, “When I handed her to you, she took one last breath,” and I couldn’t pull it together. He said, “What’s wrong?” I said, “That was my greatest heart’s desire, my biggest prayer. Yet I could never share that, because it would be so selfish, and that the Lord knew the desires of my heart, and He met that.” I felt so loved of the Lord.
Nancy: Oh, yes, yes. I think that’s so beautiful. God is so faithful, isn’t He?
Courtney: Yes, yes.
Nancy: Thank you for sharing this story. Oh, it’s so heartbreaking, and yet, I know you wouldn’t have missed one moment of those years with little Millie.
Courtney: No, absolutely not. When you look at that reversal, I think if we had known, I think if God had said, we’re going to have this reversal, but one of your children is going to die, we would have been like, “Oh! No, no! Never mind, God. We don’t want to do this!” And yet, we didn’t know what was to come. I’m so grateful, because we wouldn’t want to miss one single second. We wouldn’t want to live in fear, which would have caused us to miss that time.
Nancy: Yes. And God was with you all that time. The preciousness and the life, every day you have the memories of this life. You were telling me how she wasn’t some morbid little sickly child. She was a little sassy child. Tell us about what she was really like.
Courtney: She was a sassy child. She wore green cowboy boots that were not hers. They were her brother’s, and she stole them from him. Every time he looked for his boots, they were always on her feet. At the hospital, she was well-known as “the little girl in green boots.” She would go in the hospital door, and as the double doors opened, she would announce, “Hello, I’m home to my hospital!”
She thought all the nurses were her friends. She played hide-and-go-seek under the nurses’ desk, dragging an IV pole. It didn’t matter. She figured out all the lingo for the hospital, like she could tell you, “When I have chemo, I can’t go out in the hall.” She knew what scans were, so we tried to switch the verbiage to “pictures.” She’d say, “I’m not going to take a picture. I’m not taking a scan.”
But the thing we laughed about the most; she wore pull-ups. There was no time to potty train her before she got sick. In the pull-ups bag, there would be a Minnie Mouse, and then a Jessie from Toy Story. Then a Minnie Mouse, and then a Jessie. She refused to wear Jessie. Refused. If you pulled Jessie out, she would have the biggest fit, kicking and screaming.
We would hide all the Jessies and slide them on her in the middle of the night when she was sleeping. She’d wake up and say, “What?? Where did THAT come from?” But she loved Minnie Mouse.
She definitely was sassy, spunky. She told jokes. She loved speed. She loved to be on the four-wheeler riding with her siblings. She loved her farm. She’d come home from the hospital, could barely walk because of the chemo, and she’d say, “Put me on my plane.” And she’d be on the plane under the tree, just swinging back and forth.
Nancy: Then you say how she would only wear certain clothes, or colors, because her life was out of control. I guess somehow, she wanted to have some control over some things.
Courtney: Absolutely. I think we teach our children you don’t let people touch you. Stay away from strangers. Yet, when you’re two-and-a-half, and you’re diagnosed with cancer, every person you meet wants to not only look at you, but they also want you to take your clothes off. They want to poke you with needles.
Not that any of them wanted to do those things to her, but that’s what it looked like. Everybody she met would hurt her. Just think of how crazy her little life went, from being at home with her siblings, to all of a sudden, everywhere you go, it’s pain and trauma. It was a big difference. We tolerated some of the fit-throwing to allow her to have a little bit of control in her life.
Nancy: Yes, yes. I think when you face something like this, you face, also, the eternal world, don’t you? And you realize again that that is the real world, the eternal world. I remind myself all the time, the eternal world is the real world. We are just here for such a short time. It’s only a vapor, the Bible says.
Even to go through something like this, you’re going through it for eternity. You’re going to meet with her, live life with her, rejoice with her, for the whole of eternity. It’s not one minute is ever wasted! That’s the amazing thing, isn’t it?
And I know, perhaps many of you who are listening, you’ve had little ones, or maybe older ones who’ve passed away. It’s so hard to even get over that heartache. But, oh, I want to encourage you today, and I know Courtney would love to encourage you that not one moment of their life was ever wasted. Because you were blessed with every memory. You have the joy of all that is to come. It’s so incredible.
Oh, we are not without hope, are we? What would you say to fellow mothers who have been through what you’ve been through? Or perhaps are facing things even now. What would you say to them?
Courtney: I think we have to remember that my very worst day here on earth was her very best day. She closed her eyes in my presence, but she opened them in the face of Jesus. When she got to Heaven, she didn’t miraculously become an angel. Children do not become angels, but she was there, in the face of her Lord. She’s not looking back, missing me, because when you’re in the presence of Jesus, you’re there to worship Him.
I think that’s important, because we often think, “Oh, but they’re so alone,” or “in the unknown.” No, you can’t feel any of that. There are no tears or sorrow in heaven. Now, those of us left behind, we feel those tears and sorrow.
Nancy: You’re the ones who are sorrowing.
Courtney: That’s right.
Nancy: How long is it now, since Millie went to be with Jesus?
Courtney: About two-and-a-half years.
Nancy: Two-and-a-half years. How have you found your comfort in this time?
Courtney: I think the first year you just go numb. You don’t really know what’s going on. You cry a lot. The second year, you carry it a little gentler. You still get the wind knocked out of you, but it’s not as often.
Sometimes we think that grieving parents get over it. I don’t think we ever get over it, but what we do is learn how to carry it. Learn who can hear it, who’s strong enough to hear our story, and to love them. You want to be able to. . . I think you gravitate towards parents who know your same sorrow. In my own life, I’ve gotten into some great support groups. I’ve been very blessed to meet some other ladies who know what we’ve gone through.
Then knowing that, I wanted to be able to tell Millie what was going to happen. Because she wanted all this rocking her on hospice, I would whisper in her ear, and say, “Soon you’re going to be in Heaven with Jesus.” She was three. She knew about Jesus from us, but what does that look like to a three-year-old? I would say, “There’s no pain in Heaven. You’re going to be there, and you’re going to be happy.”
She said one time, “Mama, can you and Daddy go with me?” I said, “We will, soon enough, but soon you get to go where there are no more tears, in Heaven.” What I would have liked to have had was a gentle way to teach her about it, in storybook form. So, I wrote that. I wrote a book called Millie Finds Her Miracle. It’s about a little girl who searches everywhere in life for her miracle. There’s a hospital. People around the world praying. There’s her playground, and eventually Millie finds her miracle in Heaven.
The book doesn’t teach theology, and it doesn’t have scary stuff. But what it does is open the door for a parent to talk to their child about death. Even if you’re not facing your own child’s death, maybe you have a sibling or a friend that knows someone who has passed away, or a grandparent. I had a mom recently who was passing away from breast cancer. She bought the book and read the book to her little children, saying, “Just like Millie went to Heaven, Mommy is going to go Heaven soon.” It’s a gentle way to teach those children.
Nancy: Yes. Thank you for writing this, Courtney. You read it to us at the café. It was so beautiful. And the pictures! They’re so beautiful! I would recommend it to anyone going through a similar experience, or you most probably know friends who are going through a similar experience. You can get it. Tell us where you can get the book, Courtney.
Courtney: I would like to say it’s not cancer-specific, but if your child is sick from something else, or you know someone else, it’s not locked into cancer. You can get it at my website, which is www.MilliesMiracle.net.
Nancy: That’s pretty easy. www.MilliesMiracle.net. I would encourage you to go and get that. I know you’ve been touched today, as I have been, listening to that amazing story. I pray that if you are going through a similar experience, that you will know that God is carrying you through.
I love that Scripture, Psalm 55:22: “Cast thy burden upon the Lord, and He shall sustain thee.” He holds us up.
We often don’t know how we could ever go through something until we’re going through it, and find that, in the going through it, God is there, holding us up. He does. He is faithful. He holds us up. I love to read that Scripture. I know you most probably know it, but oh, it's so wonderful, isn’t it?
Isaiah 43:1-3, another wonderful promise. “I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine. When thou passeth through the waters, I will be with thee; and through the rivers, they shall not overflow thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee. For I am the Lord thy God, the Holy One of Israel, thy Savior.”
Sometimes we are prone, when we’re going through something, to concentrate on all we’re going through. “Oh, I’m going through this fiery trial,” and that is our confession. But that shouldn’t be our confession. Our confession should be, what does it say? “When you go through the fire, I am with you. You will not be burned.” We can change our confession.
“Dear Father, thank You. You are with me. Yes, this is a fiery trial, but I thank You that You are with me. I will not be burned. Thank You, Lord. I can come out of this, like the three men who were in the fire. They came out, without even the smell of fire upon them.”
While you’re going through the rivers, you feel as though you’re drowning. It’s over your head! You wonder how you can ever even keep your head above water! But what does the Scripture say? “When you go through the rivers, they shall not overflow you.” You can say, “Oh well, it’s all very well for you to say that. I’m the one going through it at this moment.”
But dear precious one, God’s Words are true! They are faithful. They never fail. When you turn your eyes onto Him, and you speak the confession, “Thank You Lord. Lord, this seems overwhelming, but You have said I will not drown. I thank You, Lord, that they’re not going to overflow me. I will not drown, because you are with me.” Constantly confess that God is your Emmanuel, God with us. He will not fail you, no matter what you’re facing. Amen?
And Courtney, our time is coming up. Have you got anything else that you’d love to pass on to the moms?
Courtney: I think this is so awesome. People will say to me, “You’re so strong.” I think if they realized I’m not so strong, it’s my dependence on Jesus.
Nancy: Amen!
Courtney: Because I am weak, and He is strong. I do try to remind others of that. Oftentimes it will look like you’ve got it all together, and you feel like you’re drowning, just like what you said. You have to rely on Jesus. I told Him early on. I prayed, “Lord, please keep her here on earth, and let her tell of Your goodness with her own mouth. But if you don’t, I will tell the story for her.”
Through that, I wrote on Facebook, and have a large Facebook group, Millie’s Miracle. I write about grieving parents, just the raw emotions of it, because I want other grieving parents to know they’re not alone. They’re so alone, like nobody else feels this way. Oftentimes parents will write and say, “Thank you for saying the words that I couldn’t form.”
Nancy: Amen.
“Father, we thank You for hearing this story today. We thank You for the life of little Millie. Lord, even though we’re just hearing about it, we feel as though we’ve been part of her life and taken a glimpse into a beautiful life that You created, that You created for eternity. Lord, we thank You that eternity is the real world, and to help us, every one of us, no matter what our circumstances, Lord, that we will always see that, Lord, this life is just a vapor.
“Lord, many have lost little ones through miscarriage and all different circumstances. But every life that is conceived is life. It’s eternal life, and Lord, we’re going to meet these precious lives one day. We thank You. We thank You for the hope that You give us in Christ. We praise Your wonderful Name. Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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Transcribed by Darlene Norris * This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.
Grief Resources:
Podcasts:
• Nothing is Wasted
• While We’re Waiting
Online Support Groups:
• Infant loss – PrayingThruMinistries.org
• Any aged Child loss – WhileWereWaiting.org
• Child loss – Hopeunshakeable.net
MILLIE FINDS HER MIRACLE
In 2019, when my two-year-old daughter was diagnosed with a life-threatening disease, I had no resources to explain her illness to her. When we were told she would not survive a year later, there were no books on how to explain death to a child in gentle, faith-filled terms. "Millie Finds Her Miracle" is a book that leads readers on Millie's journey as she searches everywhere for her miracle of healing. From her playground to the hospital, with people around the world praying, Millie ultimately finds her miracle in Heaven. This book is instrumental to children facing their own death, siblings seeing death, parents walking with their child through death, and the numerous caregivers who assist in the end-of-life process. Very young children will love finding the butterfly hidden on each page and looking at the bright, simple illustrations.
Courtney’s Bio:
Courtney Mount, a faith-based author and mother, experienced the devastation of losing a child when her youngest daughter received a terminal cancer diagnosis. Courtney has been featured on podcasts, blogs, and as a venue speaker sharing both her daughter's story and her faith in Christ to carry her through loss.
She and her husband are parents to eight other children and grandparents to seven. She enjoys rural farm life and home-educating her children. The detailed journal that Courtney kept during her daughter's illness is continually being updated during her grief journey and can be found on Facebook at MilliesMiracle2020. Readers can learn more on her website at MilliesMiracle.net
