PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 234: Our God is a Miracle-Working God

LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 234: Our God is a Miracle-Working God

Imagine being diagnosed with cancer when you are dreaming of marriage? Neely Stewart shares God's wonderful working in her life. While in college she was diagnosed with cancer and informed she would never be able to have children. Today, she is surrounded with nine amazing children. Together with her husband, Ben, they own a campsite and use it to strengthen families, and also teach young people how to live purely and how to prepare for marriage. You can also find out more at www.brockmountainministries.org.

Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Great to be with you again! This is the night before Thanksgiving that we are recording this session. I have with me another wonderful visitor. For Thanksgiving week, we have the Hartman family staying with us. You heard from Allison last week.

We also have the wonderful Stewart family and their nine children. They are with us for Thanksgiving. They’re also here, helping us put down a new floor in the Above Rubies office, which is so wonderful. Oh my, I’m actually so glad you haven’t come to visit me in my office, although I know some of you already have, of course, because it’s like a cow shed!

We did have vinyl on the floor, but after all these years, it’s worn through. We’ve had many floods, and it’s actually got down to the concrete. They are so gloriously putting in a new floor which will be wonderful! I will feel as though as I am a normal person in my office which is just part of our home downstairs. We live upstairs, and Above Rubies is downstairs.

I have with me right here, Neely Stewart. She has a wonderful story to tell that I don’t even know about yet. Allison told me. She said, “Oh, you’ve got to get Neely to tell her story!” We’re all going to hear about it together. I know it’s going to be wonderful. So, thank you for being with us, Neely.

Neely: Oh, absolutely. It’s a pleasure to be here.

Nancy: Now, Allison told me that you found out before you were married that you would never be able to have children. Is that true? Tell us all about that.

Neely: Well, it’s definitely part of the miracle that God’s done in my life, for sure. When I was 19 years old, I was in college. I know you all just did the college podcast, but when I was growing up, you went to college. That’s how you had success. There are obviously many ways to success, but that was the route that I was on.

When I was in my sophomore year, I just wasn’t feeling good. It kept lingering, so I went to the college infirmary there. I thank God for that doctor, because he saw past my symptoms. He looked deeper than what I’d told him, and he ordered a blood test, which normally they’d give you antibiotics and send you on your way.

But he, and I believe God led him, he ordered a blood test. He found abnormal white blood cells. That is an indication of either leukemia, bone cancer, or lymphoma, I believe. After the first of about eight bone marrow aspirations, I was diagnosed with leukemia.

Nancy: Wow, that wasn’t very good news.

Neely: Not in my plans, for sure! At that point, it was within probably a week, I was in the hospital. They were beginning treatment and it was kind of a whirlwind. There were so many miracles throughout. Just the miracle of God’s presence. If God’s presence is there, that’s where you want to be. So, whether you’re going through a fight with cancer, or you’re on the mountaintop at the time, wherever God is, that’s where you want to be. His presence was so evidently there with me.

My mom had come up when she heard. When we got the test results, she’d come up. I wasn’t in my hometown. She was with me through this journey and because of my treatment, we went to the hospital in New Orleans.

It was a small miracle that God did in the very beginning. I had an extreme fear of pain. It was kind of a fear of needles but that was a very small miracle.  I was really afraid of the pain that I might go through. He brought me through that. Maybe that wouldn’t be something for someone else, but that was the beginning of so many miracles, like I was saying.

Honestly, prior to even my diagnosis, God had been leading me on a journey of His faithfulness. Although you’re never prepared for a cancer diagnosis, His faithfulness, I knew that He was with me. He was faithful and true. I knew He was with us. It was an ordeal, and I didn’t know all the details of what the doctors were telling my then-fiancé, now husband, and my mom.

Nancy: So, you were courting Ben at this stage?

Neely: Yes, we’d been dating for about two years at that time.

Nancy: Oh, you started quite young, then.

Neely: Yes, well, I was 17, and he was 19, I guess.

Nancy: Wonderful.

Neely: But the prognosis was, the night before the chemo, they said that I had about a four percent chance of living. If I lived through the night of that first round of chemotherapy, then it was up to about 25%. It was a crucial moment, that first night. Yes, ma’am.

Nancy: Goodness me! Oh, wow! So, what happened?

Neely: I survived. [laughter] It was arduous. But again, His presence was there. Honestly, the biggest support for us was God’s Word. We sought God’s Word, obviously what He would speak to our hearts at that time.

Isaiah 41:10, that has been a Scripture that has been a life verse for me. “Fear not; for I am with thee: be not afraid; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with My righteous right hand.”

The first was “fear not.” Of course, our human response, when we hear a diagnosis of cancer, is to fear. But God has repeatedly told us in His Word to “fear not.”

Actually, my youth group back home, when they heard about it, they created this huge banner, like, gosh, 10 feet by 12 feet probably. Every time my mom would hang it on the wall in my hospital room, it was in huge letters, and that was what I would feel when I’d wake up, or all day long. “FEAR NOT, FOR I AM WITH THEE.”

Nancy: That’s so wonderful. I’ve often liked to speak this Scripture out as a promise for every day of the week. You know there are seven promises in this one Scripture? It’s amazing. You can actually say it like this, you had it for every day as you were going through that. We can say it:

 “Fear thou not,” on Sunday.

“For I am with thee,” on Monday.

“Be not dismayed,” on Tuesday.

“For I am thy God,” on Wednesday.

“I will strengthen thee” on Thursday.

“Yes, I will help thee” on Friday.

“Yes, I will uphold thee with the right hand of My righteousness” on Saturday. Although it’s for every day of the week. That’s rather lovely, isn’t it?

Neely: I like that!

Nancy: Seven promises.

Neely: Yes, ma’am! So, that was a Scripture. Also, Psalm 46:1: “God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble.” Sometimes we can feel like God is up there. We know He’s watching over us, but it says He’s “a very present help.” He’s right there in the midst, and He sees everything that we’re going through. He knows that He is that very precious help in time of trouble.

Nancy: Yes. Tell me, what happened with your courtship? There you are, you are faced with cancer, and you’re supposed to be getting married. Wow! What happened then?

Neely: Well, Ben is faithful and true, as he always has been to me. Not like God, but he is faithful and true to me. We actually were going to two different colleges. He was back in my hometown, and I’d gone to LSU. Honestly, I think that was the semester that he pretty much flunked out because he spent most of his time driving to visit me in the hospital.

But one thing that was amazing. Through it all, I lost my hair twice. At one point I got down below 90 pounds. Ben always made me feel beautiful. Through it all, he was my rock. Speaking of losing my hair twice, there were so many things. I ended up spiking a fever of over 106. They rushed in with ice packs. I had them all over my body. They were trying anything to get the fever down. It was an intense moment.

They had to place a port to get chemotherapy into my spinal column, to get chemotherapy into where the chemo doesn’t cross the blood/brain barrier. When they placed it, they cut a big horseshoe-shaped flap from out of my scalp. Then they drill a hole into my skull. Well, as my mom says, you never want to hear a brain surgeon say that they’re off by even a half an inch. So, they had to go back and do that again.

Even when you get those reports that aren’t what you want to hear, when God is walking with you, you can turn to Him. You know that nothing takes Him by surprise.

Nancy: You still haven’t got to . . . how did you get healed? When did you get married? And what’s happened?

Neely: After the treatment, it was over 100 days in the hospital, but I believe God led the doctors. I completed the treatment that they had prescribed. I never relapsed. When they said I’m done, I was done! I flew the coop. I had checkups for the first five years, and everything was all clear.

We ended up getting married, let’s see, that was in ’96, so we got married in 2000. It’s been glorious since then. Following treatment, actually Ben and I were talking about this. He remembers going up to the doctor’s appointment with me when the doctor said, “Usually with this treatment, it prevents you from having children.”

Of course, that was the desire of my heart. That was what I wanted to be, was a wife and mother. I heard what he said but I knew that God had called me to be a joyful mother of children. I didn’t let it bother me and we started having children. We didn’t have a certain amount that we wanted to have, but a friend, a fellow mom, handed me an Above Rubies magazine, and that’s when we said, “Well, you know what? We want to trust God with our family size.” So, we’re at nine right now. [laughter]

Nancy: Did you have to wait long? Did the Lord bless you very soon after your marriage?

Neely: Yes, ma’am. We didn’t have to wait. We were blessed. I know He’s the miracle-working God.

Nancy: That is amazing! Here. because many, after intense chemotherapy, you don’t conceive. But praise the Lord! Here you are, with nine amazing children! God is amazing! And you’ve never had any trace of this ever again?

Neely: No, ma’am.

Nancy: So incredible. Oh, that is so wonderful! Well, you’ve got to tell us about your children. Tell us their names and their ages.

Neely: Eliana is our oldest. She’s 21. Then we have Talia, and she’s 18. They’re both into mustang horses. They were participating in Extreme Mustang Makeover and enjoyed that. Zion is 15. He’s our first son. Then we have twin girls, Hosanna and Grace. They’re 13. Then Asher. He is 10. Then Bethania. She’s eight. And Moriah is five, and Gilead is two.

Nancy: How wonderful! Oh, the Lord has just blessed you! Of course, ladies, they are here with us, staying. We’re just so blessed to see such a beautiful family of children. They’re such a blessing. So beautiful, and such hard workers!

I remember Allison telling me that Ellie went to stay with them for three weeks to help them, because their business keeps them very busy. The Hartmans, wow, there’s another family like them that know how to work. But she said, “Wow, Ellie just runs rings around us! She is such a great worker!”

Tell us your secrets of how you’ve trained your children to work, and also to put in them the godly qualities that you long for them to have.

Neely: I will say, my husband being willing to let them work alongside of him, when he could get it done much faster without having children around. I wouldn’t say in the beginning that was what came natural to him, but he had to make a choice.

He tells the story of one time when he was trying to work on our car. We lived in Chicago at the time, and it was middle of winter, and it was freezing. Our son Zion came up to him and wanted something.

Ben said, “Zion, what am I doing?” Zion’s like, “Working on the car.”

He’s like, “Do I like to be interrupted when I’m working on something?”

He’s like, “No.”

Ben thought, “But then, what’s more important?” Ben was like, “Of course, our children are what’s important.” Taking time.

I think incorporating them into everything. We love to do projects around our house. As long as they can hold a hammer or do whatever, we’re going to assign them to do something, whether it’s just sweep with the broom. Of course, we have children who are more eager to help than others. You have to encourage the ones who would rather be off playing, and say, “Will you participate? We’re Stewarts, we work hard.” Also, we have fun. We know how to have fun when it’s done. That’s what we try to . . .

Nancy: That’s what I say around here. We work hard, and we play hard. Whatever you do, you do with all your heart. There’s a time for work, and then there’s a time to enjoy one another and fellowship. But I noticed the other night, one of your daughters, I noticed her pick up the broom and sweep the floor. Nobody asked her to do that. You can see it’s just part of her life, part of her habit

And yet, it’s amazing, there are many young people who will come into our home, and goodness! They hardly know what a broom was! I think that often happens too with children going to school these days, going to public school. Sometimes they leave so early on the bus. I see children out where we live, and the bus goes by, and it’s still dark! I think, “Oh, those poor children!”

They’re leaving the sanctity of their home, and the coziness of the home, and going out in the dark, and waiting for a bus. You never know what’s going on on that bus. Then they’re away all day. Then they come home, and they’ve got to do homework. They don’t even get a chance to be part of the whole life of the home. OK, you’re meant to be working and helping. They don’t even really know how to do that.

I had some children just a week or so ago around our table. I said to them, “Now children, I just want you all to come and be here and help. We’re all going to do something.” Well, a couple of them actually went and hid! They just didn’t even want to do anything! They weren’t even used to it! I couldn’t believe it. How have you trained your children to get into those habits?

Neely: We have, three times a day, after every meal, they each have their own assigned chore. It’s not a question of whether or not you want to do it. It’s just everybody, after the meal, we all break and do our responsibilities. It takes some training. You have to have oversight, make sure pretty much every time I’m reminding someone, “Hey, you forgot to do this.”

But everyone knows they have a responsibility, to feel that you’re a contributing member of the household. Especially, as you said, when we’re home all day, we all make the mess. It all accumulates. It’s a good reset, three times a day, to get things back in order. To feel like your brain can function without clutter everywhere.

Nancy: So, you began homeschooling from the very beginning, did you?

Neely: Yes, ma’am. I had been exposed to Montessori concepts of training, or not training, but teaching children early. Yes, I always had a heart to homeschool. I think I went; I went gung-ho with our first. She was reading by three. That first child, you just do everything. You’re not really focused on anything else, so they get it all poured on them. That’s where you make your first mistakes.

Since then, I’ve backed off significantly. I let them have more fun in those early years. We have loved homeschooling. Now that my older girls have graduated, they help me with doing some of the readings with the younger ones. I just think it’s a great way to enjoy family life, that we all contribute, we’re all a part. You belong, and we want you here. We need you here, and we all want that, I think.

Nancy: Yes. So, your life is really living as a family. You’re not all doing your separate things. How do you make that happen?

Neely: Like I said, our older girls do horse training during the day and things like that. But we do put mealtimes, they’re really important to us. Then we’ll usually lead a morning devotion, and in the evenings, we all gather after our meal for worship. Then we’ll do some form of Bible reading, devotions. I feel like that’s really crucial, for if we say that God is important, that it’s witnessed.

Nancy: Exactly. I do believe that. Parents can say, “Oh, we love God, and He’s first in our lives.” Yet, they don’t even make time to bring the family together to hear His Word and worship him. I think that shows our children how much we really love the Lord, how much we really love the Word, is if we’re going to bring them together to teach it to them.

I noticed when we were having family devotions all together here, that Colin would ask, can they finish the Scripture? And they all began reciting it off. Obviously, they’ve done some good memory work! How have you done that with your children, and got them to memorize the Word?

Neely: Well, we have Scripture memory as part of our homeschooling. Actually, we have a Scripture box. We memorize them and they go back in the file. Also, at our church, every Sunday morning, each family group gets up, and the children recite Scripture. It’s a big portion of the service. I feel like the children are learning the Word of God for themselves, and memorizing it, and hiding it in their hearts. It says that we might not sin against God. There is nothing more powerful than His Word, for them to know it.

Nancy: I love that. Each family is encouraged to teach their children the Word. How many families would get up each Sunday and share?

Neely: Oh, goodness. How many families get up on Sundays? I’m sorry, I’ve been helping. There are probably 20-30 families. There are families, so it’s all of the children in each family will get up and say their Scripture that they memorized for that week.

Nancy: Wow, that’s amazing! Do they all say it together?

Neely: Correct.

Nancy: That’s so great! And then they’re also feeling very much part of church life, too, because they’re on the stage.

Neely: Yeah, they get up on the stage to do it.

Nancy: Yes, that is so wonderful! I love that! That’s so great. What would you say now that your oldest is 21? They grow too quickly, don’t they? What do you think has been one of the greatest things in your family life? In training your children?

Neely: That’s a great question.

Nancy: There’s lots of things, of course. Maybe just tell the ladies one of them.

Neely: I would say, we want our children to know that we love them. I would say, early in our parenting we were very strict on discipline and obedience which are important things. But I think we have to make sure that it’s balanced with love. I think different personalities can lean one way or the other. I tend to be harsher than I would ever want to be, and that is something God is continually working out in me.

But I feel like, taking the time to connect in a way that means something to that child. I know, I’m a quality time person, and we have children. . . You know, the five love languages. I have a child, well our oldest in particular, that quality time, and we have a large family. It takes intentionality to make that happen.

But as far as the greatest thing, I would say loving God. Pursuing God for yourself. One thing I wish I would have done is to really pursue God before I ever had children, to have Him work out in me the things that were glaring flaws that I now see in my children as they have lived under my example for so long. The things that I would have, if I could have not passed that down to them, that would have been wonderful.

But if I could have allowed God to work out, and He can, of course, His grace is always there, and He knows all those things. But, really, pursuing God. I think that’s what the children want to see, that it’s real.

Growing up with my husband being a pastor, I never wanted my children to feel that pressure to perform in front of, or to be something that the congregation may expect. Because it’s about them having their own relationship with God, as I’m having my own.

Making time for me to spend time with God every day, to have that secret quiet time, where He can speak to me with encouragement for that day. Mothering, whether you have nine or one, it takes everything you have. But it’s only through Him that we can do it. He does gently lead those with young, so I don’t think He’s cracking the whip on us. But when we make that time to be with Him, that’s when we find the strength and the time to do what all we need to do in a day.

Nancy: I think that starts when before we get married. So, young people listening today, your preparation for marriage starts well before you’re married. In fact, I look back, and I am so grateful that the Lord wooed me into His presence and into His Word before I was ever married. I spent many hours every day in the Word. Right now, all these years later, it’s still the foundation of my life. I went into my marriage and into motherhood, knowing the Word.

The Bible says that we, as parents, that we are to pass on His Word to our children, not only getting it into their hearts, but into their mouths. How do we do that if we don’t know it? I think it’s an incredible, it’s really the time for preparing for marriage is before you’re married. In fact, really, as parents, we’re preparing our children for marriage all through their training. We are preparing them to be the husbands or the wives, so that they will have wonderful successful marriages.

We’re preparing them for that, because they’re going to go into their marriages with the character and the habits that they have formed all through their childhood. That’s why we have to get rid of their negative habits in their childhood.

That was one thing that we were always very, very, it was a big thing in our lives, that we didn’t allow our children to get into moods. So many children get into moods. I don’t believe a child should be allowed to get into a mood! It’s so absolutely selfish, and you’re allowing them to go into that selfishness and “me”-thing. We would never allow it. Colin would not allow it for one minute!

Our children grew up and they didn’t have moods. They still, to this day, they don’t have moods. That’s one thing that do not have. I think that is a big thing. So many children, they pout, they get in moods, they get into a state because they don’t get their own way. If they’re allowed to continue in that behavior, they’re going to take that into their marriage. That’s the foundation of the end of a marriage, before your hardly start! What do you think?

Neely: Oh, I agree. In the Bible, it tells us to rejoice in the Lord always. It’s hard to be in a bad mood and rejoice at the same time. I think it’s just basic self-control. I will confess, I can get in a mood myself, and I have to discipline myself in my own heart and call it out of myself and recognize what God has called me to. I believe the instructions in His Word are not given if we couldn’t achieve them. If He says to rejoice, then I can rejoice.

Nancy: We learn to do it, and then we teach our children to do it. By the way, Allison, can you check that element? Make sure it’s not burning? Thank you. [laughter]

Neely: It’s Thanksgiving.

Nancy: You wouldn’t believe what we’ve been doing today. Well, here this wonderful Stewart family, Neely and her husband, they have been putting down this floor in my office and putting in a new counter in the downstairs kitchen. And we’ve all been cooking for Thanksgiving and decorating the wedding barn for Thanksgiving. Here we are, we’re in the middle of preparing for a meal, but we decided to do this podcast! It’s all just part of home life.

Another thing, you guys have got this wonderful vision at the moment, of training other young people. Can you tell us more about that?

Neely: We own a retreat center in Arkansas, in the mountain up there. We actually do family camps.

Nancy: Sorry, but how long have you been doing these?

Neely: We moved to Arkansas right before covid, so that delayed things a little bit. We were renovating the camp and everything. We completed our second year of doing camps this past fall.

We invite usually three families at a time, and we walk them through a process. It’s not like a big retreat. This is more intensive, where you’re learning how to work together as a family, how to create a vision, how to create a shared goal, so that everyone in that family knows what their family is doing, and how they contribute to the family. What they bring, so that you can accomplish what God has planned.

Why did God put these people in your family? There’s a purpose. We help people to find that purpose. Obviously, it’s what God reveals. It’s not, but we provide the opportunity for that. What you’re speaking of

Nancy: First of all, I must say that is wonderful! If there are families who would feel they need that help, how can they contact you?

Neely: We have a website, BrockMountainMinistries.org. The information is on there. We actually haven’t put out our 2023 dates yet. But the camps are free of charge, so you just have to get there. We have sponsors who provide for the weekend. It’s a weekend—Friday, Saturday, Sunday. It’s a great experience. We’ve had many families who really feel that it helped change the trajectory of their families.

Nancy: I think that sounds wonderful! It’s BrockMountainMinistries.org. What does the “Brock” mean?

Neely: That’s the name of the mountain.

Nancy: The name of the mountain! BrockMountainMinistries.org. OK, we’ll take a note of that. It sounds like a wonderful thing to do for a family. Wonderful! Now, what’s the next vision?

Neely: God had laid on Ben’s heart, well, our heart, about hosting a purity weekend for young adults. Just to kind of give them some teaching on how to go about the new phase in their life of finding a spouse, in a way that honors God. It’s a great time of fellowship and fun where they can get to know each other. We just had our first one this past November. It was great. They got to have fellowship together. We had people from Pennsylvania, Ohio, Arkansas, and Florida.

Nancy: And Tennessee, because some of our young people came.

Neely: They had a great time. We go on a great hike up in the mountains. It’s beautiful. It’s fun, but it’s also an opportunity for them to learn and get God’s perspective on things. Of course, we encourage them to take it home, talk to your parents, talk to whoever is your godly authority.  Submit it, so that you have a plan, not just going into it, “Well, whatever happens, happens.” But knowing that you have a plan and purpose for this next stage in your life of finding a mate. For Ben and myself, marriage is the greatest blessing in our lives. It’s from God.

Nancy: I always feel sorry for everybody in the world who’s not married.

Neely: I believe He brought us together for His purposes. Our children, and what’s the mission that He has for us. We want to set them up for success in that area.

Nancy: Do you hope that maybe some of these young people will make a connection and the Lord would bring them together?

Neely: Absolutely, because like-minded young adults who are pursuing God, it’s hard in these days to meet the right one, especially when everything seems to be social media based. We encourage them not to be on their phones so they can interact.

Nancy: It’s known. I think that’s so wonderful, because we do need to get our young people into situations where they’re meeting other young people of the same mindset. That’s one of my dreams too, for our Above Rubies Family Camps, that young people will meet one another. Colin and I met at a Christian family camp, so we think they’re pretty good places to find one another.

Even in the Christian church at large, there are so many, either young ladies or young men who really, although they are born-again, they do not have a vision for family, or even embracing children. They have never really been taught God’s plans for them in this realm. They’re doing it in a normal way.

In fact, there are so many of them who are getting into their mid-20’s, and late 20’s, some of these young men are still not ready to take the responsibility of marriage. But I think it’s great when you can get young people who have this heart, and a longing for someone, and that God can bring them together.

Well, our time is gone, but it’s been so wonderful to have you with us, Neely. Please, families, any family who needs encouragement, or any young person who would love to get with other godly young people, well, you know what you’ve got to do! Just contact BrockMountainMinistries.org, OK? Look them up and look out for what they’re going to be doing in 2023. Amen.

“Lord, we thank You for this time together with Neely and to hear what You have done in their lives. Lord God, You are so bigger than every circumstance. We thank You, Lord, that you gave them nine amazing children. Maybe you’ll give them more yet, Lord. Even when it was impossible in the natural, You are so great. We thank You, Lord God. We thank You for every opportunity to talk about family life. We pray Your blessing on every family listening right now. In the Name of Jesus, Amen.”