PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | EPISODE 221: The Four L’s of Raising Children, Part 5
LIFE TO THE FULL w/ Nancy Campbell
EPISODE 221: The Four L’s of Raising Children, Part 5
More amazing points about the attitudes God wants us to have toward work. If you can put these principles into operation in your family life, it will become like heaven on earth. We will begin the last L next week. It’s going to be exciting!
Announcer: Welcome to the podcast, Life to The Full, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.
Nancy Campbell: Hello, ladies! Great to be with you again. I’m here in Tennessee, looking out to the beautiful green trees, with the sun shining down upon them. It’s so beautiful. And Michele Schrum is with me again. It’s not far for Michele to come because she’s living right next door to us in their RV while they are working on building their house up on the Hilltop.
And here we are, still talking on this series of raising children with the four L’s, the words starting with “L.” When Michele mentioned this to me in the course of the conversation that this was how they liked to raise their children, I thought, “Wow! That is so powerful! You’ve got to come and share it with me on the podcast.”
I thought we would do a couple of podcasts, and here we are, up to number five! This is part five now, in this series, and I don’t think we’ll finish it today. I’ve got the feeling we might need one more!
But today, we’re continuing to talk about loving labor, and teaching our children, to give them this LOVE for work. Not just, OK, teach our children how to work, but we go beyond that. We’re teaching our children how to LOVE work! That’s what we want to do, isn’t it?
Now, we are looking into the Word, as usual, because we could spout off here for hours. Really, what are you going to get, unless we bring it from the Word? I believe that . . . This is my premise in life, that everything I believe has its foundation in the Word of God. Then I know I’m on the right track.
We are looking at all the different attitudes God wants us to have about work. I found 26 different attitudes. It’s amazing how much God gives us, isn’t it? Today we’re up to number 18. We’ll finish these today.
I hope we even get onto our last point, because I think this is my most exciting one that you’re going to talk about. Oh, I’m looking forward to talking about it! But I’m not telling you what it’s going to be! [laughter] It’s going to be a surprise!
Anyway, NO. 18 ATTITUDE: WILLINGLY
Judges 5:2: “The people willingly offered themselves.” A willingness is a big attitude, isn’t it? Often, our children are not always willing to do their chores. They may do them, but sometimes they do them with a sour face and a grumbling attitude. Oh my! How are we going to teach them to do it with a willing attitude?
Well, I do believe that these Scriptures, that the Scriptures, as we get the Word into our children, that puts it into them. Well, I think two things: No. 1, the Word, and that’s why it’s so great to take your children to these Scriptures. Some of them you can write out and pin up on the wall for them to read. You can make them memory verses and encourage them this way.
Of course, secondly, it always goes back to our attitude. What do you say about that, Michele?
Michele: Oh, absolutely! Our example has been the key with every single one of these teaching our children the four L’s. One of the first things is our example, and how we live that out in our own lives. If we’re having a sour attitude or we’re not willing to labor in love, then likely they’re not either.
Nancy: Absolutely. Yes, they have to see that. This is how we live, with this willing attitude. Starting off with everything that God gives us, He talks about in His Word, we have to willingly respond. But children should see, even when our husbands ask us to do something, that we are willing! Wow! It’s just our delight to do it!
And talking about delight, a Scripture in Proverbs 31, of course, this is the description of the virtuous woman. It says in verse 13: “She seeks wool and flax and works willingly with her hands.” Now, that word in the Hebrew, chephets . . . (Actually, Darlene, my wonderful transcriber, you are absolutely amazing at checking out all these Hebrew words I give. This one is spelled C-H-E-P-H-E-T-S. Thank you for all you do).
Anyway, this word, when we go to the Hebrew, we see more of what it means. It means “to work with pleasure, with delight, with purpose.” So, that word “delight” comes in there. It’s often translated “delight.” In fact, 16 times in the Word of God that Hebrew word is translated “pleasure.” So, somehow, we’ve got to pass on that anointing that to our children, that WORK IS A PLEASURE. It’s a pleasure to work!
Michele: It is! The question comes to mind, what if your children aren’t willing? What if they don’t have that willingness? Sometimes a part of training is that they still have to do it. They still have to do the labor. They still have to do the work. But if we’re setting an example, and we’re smiling . . .
We make a lot of little jingles or songs up a lot of times. Whether it’s a Scripture song, or just a little song about, especially with little ones, about what they’re supposed to be doing. Just anything to make it little more joyful, especially when they’re younger, to help them develop that willing spirit.
Nancy: Yes, I believe that. We should try to make it pleasurable, because it’s meant to be. “She worketh willingly with her hands.” This is talking about the woman in our home. That should be our attitude. We work in our willingness. This is our pleasure. This is our delight.
So, we’re not seeing, yes, and so many duties are mundane, because it’s the same thing you do every day. You have to do the same thing over and over again to keep the home in running order. But we don’t see it as a bore. We do it with pleasure and delight because we know that this is going to bless the whole family when we keep our home in right order and we’re managing it well. A home that’s not being managed is not very nice to live in! We have to make it a place where it’s delightful to live.
The BSB (Berean Study Bible), yes, it translates it “to work with eager hands.”
The Young’s Literal translation, I like to go to check that one, because it goes right back to the Hebrew. It’s the same man who put together the Young’s Concordance. There’s the Strong’s Concordance and there’s the Young’s Concordance. This is the Young’s Literal Translation. He brings out this word “delight.” He says: “Working with delight.”
OK, let’s look at some other Scriptures.
Michele: Well, I have an example. Just yesterday, my son Niles, who’s 15, was working on the computer. He showed me, and he was watching mowing videos. He loves . . . Before we moved here to Tennessee, he and his brother had a little lawnmowing business together, Take Care Lawn Care. He has this love of mowing, which is wonderful, except right now, we don’t have any grass!
So he’s watching lawn videos, and he’s like, “Can we go ahead and plant grass?” We don’t have a house yet! I’m like, “Well, not yet.” But he was so excited to get back into mowing. Colin’s pretty particular about his yard, so he hasn’t allowed Niles to take over the mowing yet. [laughter]
Nancy: Maybe he doesn’t know how good he is! Wow! I’ll have to talk to him about that!
All right, 1 Chronicles 28:9: “Know thou the God of thy father, and serve Him with a perfect heart, and with a willing mind.” To work willingly with our hands starts with our mind and our attitude, doesn’t it?
In 1 Chronicles 28:21, it talks about “every willing skillful man.” So, even though these men had skills, the ones who were doing the work were those who were willing to do it.
I’m always challenged by Psalm 110:3: “Thy people shall be willing in the day of Thy power.” It’s always the willing people who God wants to pick up and use. I believe if we have a vision for training children to be ready for God to use them, we have to implant within them this attitude of willingness. Oh, it’s a very powerful attribute, willingness, isn’t it?
“Lord God, I pray that You will help us all. Help these precious mothers listening, Lord God, to be able to impart this wonderful attitude, Lord, just willingness. Lord, when their children are asked to do something, that they will respond with willingness. Oh, Lord, this is not something that we can just make happen. It has to be a matter of the heart. We pray, Lord, that You will give us such anointing and wisdom in bringing this to our children. In the Name of Jesus.”
I think this one will be such a good one. As I suggested at the very beginning, that you can take each one of these points, and OK, for one whole week, “OK, children, let’s work on this attitude for a week. Now Mommy and Daddy are going to work on it too, and we’re all going to do it together! In every little thing, we’re going to work on this particular one, willingness. We’re all going to do it with a willing attitude. Everything!” That would be so exciting! Wow! What a dreamy place to live in!
Isaiah 1:19: “If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land.”
NO. 19 ATTITUDE: WITH A GOOD ATTITUDE
Ephesians 6:7: “Rendering service willingly, with goodwill.” Once again, that’s an attitude. We’re teaching our children to have a happy attitude and a smile on their face.
What I used to do, if my children didn’t do something with a happy attitude, guess what happened? They got another job to do! And if they didn’t do that with a happy attitude, they got another one, until they learned to do it with a happy attitude and a smile on their face. I’m glad, I think most of our children, well, I’d say all of them, and some more than others, have grown up with a very, very good work attitude. That is so important in life, isn’t it?
NO. 20 ATTITUDE: WITHOUT BEING SIDETRACKED
Oh, that’s another one, isn’t it? Have you often given your children something to do, or your one specific child something to do, but you find, oh, before they finish the job, they’re sitting in their room, reading a book or something like that!
Michele: On my way over, literally walking over here today, I gave my son Elijah, my ten-year-old, a small task. He had no problem. He had a happy heart about it, but he got side-tracked, and he was outside, melting a crayon, like a coloring crayon. I’m like, “What are you doing?” He’s like, “Oh, Mom, this is so cool!” I was like, “But is that what you’re supposed to be doing?” [laughter]
Nancy: I know! And children get side-tracked so easily, don’t they? Any little thing can side-track them. But this is a very powerful point, too. Especially as our children are getting older, we’ve got to teach them, “Stick to the job until it’s done. You don’t let all the little distractions take you away from it.”
We see a wonderful example of this. This is an example for us, too, in our wonderful calling of motherhood. Back in Nehemiah 6, Nehemiah came back from Babylon to help restore and build up the gates and walls of Jerusalem. But he had so much opposition on every front. There was opposition to him rebuilding the wall. We get opposition, too, as we are building a godly family. The enemy does not want us to do this. He will bring opposition on every hand.
Nehemiah 6:1: “Now it came to pass, when Sanballat, and Tobiah, and Geshem the Arabian, and the rest of our enemies, heard that I had builded the wall and that there was no breach left . . . That Sanballat and Geshem sent unto me, saying, Come, let us meet together in some one of the villages in the plain of Ono. But they thought to do me mischief.”
You see, they were trying to bring Nehemiah off the wall. They were trying to get him distracted from this great vision that he had and this great job that he was doing. They were trying to pull him off the wall, get him down from his job.
That’s what the enemy wants to do to you, dear mother. There’s so much deception all around and voices that pull you away from the vision God has given you. They even pull you away from the high calling of embracing motherhood and knowing that you are there to build your home and make it such a wonderful place. The devil wants to get you out of the home. You get all these people saying this, saying that society, the media, everything, everybody, even churches sometimes.
But what did Nehemiah do? Oh, by the way, where were they trying to get him to come? They said, “Come, Nehemiah, let’s come down to the plain of Ono.” Oh no! Oh my, isn’t that how the devil gets to tempt you? “Oh no, poor me, I’m stuck in this home with all these children! I could be out, doing my career! Oh, no!”
“Oh no! Help! I’m pregnant again! Help! How are we going to survive? We can hardly make it with the children we have!
Oh no!” And we get all these “Oh no’s!” But they’re from the devil. They are the temptations of the enemy. He’s the one who wants to bring us down to the plain of Oh no. But that doesn’t belong to the kingdom of God. That city is not in God’s kingdom. Oh no! Whatever God gives us, He gives us the strength to do. He will be with us! Amen?
What did Nehemiah say? He was not going to come down to the plain of Ono. He didn’t even get down off the wall. “And I sent messengers unto them, saying, I am doing a great work, so that I cannot come down: why should the work cease, whilst I leave it, and come down to you?” He wouldn’t even come down!
Dear precious mothers, let all these temptations, these deceptions, all these voices, just let them run off you like water off a duck’s back. You speak to the enemy and say,
“I am NOT coming down! I am doing a GREAT work!
I’m doing the greatest work in this nation!
I am raising godly children who will come forth to impact this nation. I haven’t got time to come down to you!”
But these enemies, they kept on Nehemiah. They came four times to him with that message. Then, in verse five, it says they came a fifth time to him. They just wouldn’t give up. Then down in verse 10, they sent another message, the sixth time!
This time, what happened? It says here: “Let us meet together in the house of God, within the temple, and let us shut the doors of the temple: for they will come to slay thee; yea, in the night will they come to slay thee.” Now they’re trying to put fear in him. “Oh, come on, come down, look, we’ll hide you. We’ll go right into the Temple.”
Oh, goodness me! They were trying every way to get him to come down from his great work. What happened? Nehemiah said: “Should such a man as I flee? and who is there, that, being as I am, would go into the temple to save his life? I will not go in.” You see how he was standing true to his vision. He would not come down!
Verse 12: “And, lo, I perceived that God had not sent him.” Yes, all these voices, these deceptive voices that come into your mind, they are not from God. They are from the enemy! “But I perceived that he pronounced this prophecy against me: for Tobiah and Sanballat had hired him.”
But he never came down. He didn’t give in. That’s a wonderful encouragement to us in our great, high calling God has given us. Don’t you be distracted. Don’t listen to them. Also, you teach that to your children.
NO. 21 ATTITUDE: WITHOUT EXPECTING ANYTHING IN RETURN
Well, that’s an interesting one, isn’t it? I remember when we were raising our children that people would always pay their children. They’d give them, I forget what you call them.
Michele: Allowance?
Nancy: Allowance! Yes, yes. They got an allowance at the end of the week. I must admit, I never really believed in it, but I thought, “Oh, perhaps I’m an awful mother. I’d better do that.” We decided we would do it, but it never worked. You know why? Because we’d get to the end of the week, and we never had any money to give them! [laughter] So, they never got it! But, really, really, should our children work for an allowance? I don’t believe it.
Michele: We’ve always told our children that, because they see some other children get an allowance, and they’ve asked before. We told them, “Why would we pay you to live in our home and clean up after yourself, just to do responsibilities that we all need to be a part of.”
Nancy: Yes! I don’t know where that came from, because, really, a home is where we are all building the home together. We, as mothers, are builders. Proverbs 14:1: “Every wise woman buildeth her house.”
God calls us builders, but our children are builders, too. The Hebrew word for children in the Bible, well, there’re so many Hebrew words for children. Oh! In my book, The Power of Motherhood, I list all the different Hebrew words. God so loves children that He doesn’t have only one word! He has a word for when they’re in the womb, when they’re just born, when they’re a little toddler, as they’re getting older. Oh, there are so many words. You just can’t believe it!
But the most common is ben. Just ben. Many Jewish names have that word in them. Ben Yochanan, the son of Yochanan. It just means “the son of so-and-so.” But the full meaning is, and you can read it in the Strong’s Concordance, “the builder of the family name.”
Our children are also building the family name and building the home. We need to remind them of that, that they are also builders. We are all in this together! When they do their chores, they’re part of blessing everyone in the home, just keeping the home going.
Michele: We had a good friend, and it stuck with me when my older ones were younger. She would always call them “get to’s.” She didn’t call them chores. They were “get to’s” because you get to participate in the family. You get to do willingly whatever the task was that laid before them. I loved that, that they get to. What an attitude!
Nancy: Yes, I like that! I think allowances, what are they really teaching our children? They’re teaching them that, what’s the word, today everybody thinks they should just get whatever they want? What is that word? It’s entitlement! Yes.
And today, so many people in society live by the entitlement principle. They think that they are entitled to everything! The world owes them everything! That is not true. We have many of our students today in our colleges believing that they should get their college education free. But they’re not working for it. Who’s going to pay for it? Someone has to pay for it. But they think they should get everything free.
That’s what our government wants to tell them. “You just get everything free!” But, of course, that never works, because it has to be paid for somewhere. We don’t want to bring our children up with an entitlement mentality, do we?
Now what does the Scripture say? Luke 17:10: “When you have done all that is commanded you, say, we are unworthy servants. We have only done what was our duty.” Well, that’s pretty powerful, isn’t it? That’s the attitude we should have. “We have only done what was our duty.” We don’t have to expect anything in return.
In fact, today, it’s very difficult, I find, to get people to do something without expecting remuneration. Yes, of course, it’s not wrong to have remuneration for what you do. That’s not wrong, and, of course, our husbands, who are providing for the home, yes, they are getting all the remuneration they can to provide.
But I think we don’t have to do everything in life for remuneration. There are things we will do and get paid for but there are some things which are gifts that God has given us. We can do them freely, and do them to bless people, or even because it’s our duty, and not expect to have to be paid. What do you think?
Michele: Oh, absolutely. That’s the servant’s heart.
Nancy: Yes!
Michele: We just had this discussion in our home, I believe it was yesterday, with my ten-year-old. Not having to have that recognition. It’s nice to be recognized sometimes and be encouraged. But to not have to have it speaks a lot about your character and who you are. If we are doing everything unto the Lord, then He’s the one who will recognize us. We shouldn’t seek recognition from man.
Nancy: Yes. Great.
NO. 22 ATTITUDE: WITHOUT GRUMBLING AND COMPLAINING
Philippians 2:14-15: “Do all things without murmurings and disputings: that ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world.” Without grumbling, without complaining; do our children hear us grumbling and complaining? What kind of an example are we setting? We’re the ones who set the terms.
NO. 23 ATTITUDE: WITHOUT SEEKING RECOGNITION
Just what you said, Michele. There it is! It’s in the Word! You didn’t make it up. [laughter]
Ephesians 6:6: “Not with eye service, as men-pleasers, but as the servants of Christ.” We do our work, not looking for what man sees, but unto the Lord. And He sees. He knows. He notices it all.
NO. 24 ATTITUDE: WITHOUT WEARYING
Galatians 6:9: “And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.”
NO. 25 ATTITUDE: ZEALOUSLY
We read of the testimony of Jesus Himself, when it says: “The zeal of Thine house hath eaten me up.” It’s in Psalm 69:9, and then, in this story, in John 2:17. This is where Jesus came into the temple and saw them selling all the oxen and sheep and doves, and making money, and doing all this in the temple, which was the house of prayer.
My! He rose up, and the Bible says that he made a scourge of cords, and He drove them out of the temple. He poured out the changers’ money, and He overthrew the tables. He yelled out, “Take these things hence! Make not My Father’s house a house of merchandise!” Wow! People must have wondered what was happening.
Then it says His disciples remembered that it was written: “The zeal of thine house hath eaten me up.” Jesus showed such zeal, zealousness for His Father’s house! But I think we can also show zealousness in the way we work and that we do it with all our heart.
The last one! NO. 26 ATTITUDE: GOING THE SECOND MILE
Matthew 5:41: “And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him two miles.” That’s an amazing principle. I think that most people, even when they go to work, they usually have to clock in. When you arrive, when you leave, and it just seems the norm for most people, “OK, say five o’clock is when work finishes.” OK! On the dot of five, they finish! Whoo! It doesn’t matter if they’re halfway through something, if it’s five o’clock, they’re finished.
But, where’s the second mile? There’s only left a small percentage who are the second milers, who will think, “Oh, but look, I haven’t finished it. I think I will just stay and get it finished so it’s all done and ready.” Maybe they’re staying on five minutes, ten minutes, or even 20 minutes longer. They’re not even expecting to get double pay. But just because they want to see the job finished. They want to give that little extra. Second-milers! Wow! They are a small breed.
I remember, there is a guy who works for my son. He is indispensable to him. I know that he gets pretty big bucks, because I don’t know how my son would run his life without him. But this guy, years and years ago, came to him, and asked him for a job. He didn’t have a job for him. There was not one that was available. But he said, “Look, I’ll work for you free.” And he worked for him free. He became so indispensable that now, well, he couldn’t do without him.
He has a great career, just because he was a second miler. He wasn’t expecting to be paid for everything. He was prepared to just, “OK, I’ll just show you what I can do!” I think that’s sort of going the extra. It’s like that word that I often talk about, perisseuo, that is “more than is necessary, over the top, super-abounding, excelling.” It’s going more than is the necessary. People can be great workers who do the necessary. But then, there are those few who go beyond the necessary, the second milers.
Michele: Absolutely. That’s what sets people apart. If you’re willing to go above and beyond, that’s what sets you apart. In the workforce, even in the home, as a leader, it’s in every area of life, people who go that second mile, who go above and beyond, they’re the ones that stand out.
Nancy: Yes, so true. Maybe when you’re working on this point in your family, maybe you’re doing a whole week and you’re all working on the second-mile principle . . . it doesn’t hurt, it’s a good thing, I think, to have carrots. You know, something that they can work towards.
You can say, “OK, I’m going to be looking this week for those who go the second mile. When you notice one of your children doing more than they are asked, they’re doing something that goes beyond, well, you just make a note of that. Maybe the one who’s done that the most, they get a special prize at the end of the week so they can get into the habit.
It’s good to have a whole week, at least, where you work on one of these attitudes, so it becomes a habit in their lives. It gets into their system. Because, wow, they’ll go a long way.
If you can raise children who are second milers,
you will raise children who will go far in life.
Well, ladies, we got to the end of our principles about work. Now, next week we’re going to start the last “L.” To me, it’s the most exciting.
Michele: Should we tell them what it is?
Nancy: No!
Michele: No?
Nancy: No! We’re not telling you what it is! [laughter] It’s got to be a surprise! I can’t wait, because I do believe, in this hour in which we’re living, it is so important.
We love you!
“Lord God, bless all these darling mothers who are listening today, and all the young people, and the children. Oh, God, I pray that You will help us all to live by Your Word, by the examples You put in Your Word, by the principles You give us in Your Word. Lord, You give us so much! And there’s not one thing missing!
“Lord, we’ve got all these attitudes You want us to have. Lord, when we are all—Daddy, Mommy, children, living these attitudes in our homes, they will become places of such joy, and Heaven on earth. Lord, I pray that, Lord, that this will work out in every beautiful family listening, that, Lord, they will be able to teach their children, Lord, not how to work, but how to love to work, Lord God. In the Precious Name of Jesus, Amen.”
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
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