PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | Episode 115: BIRTHING BABIES, Pt 2

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

EPISODE 115- BIRTHING BABIES, PART 2

Meadow joins me again today as we continue talking about birth. We talk about embracing birth, the power of birthing, and how God is very involved in the birth. We talk about the blessing of BIRTHING ENCOURAGEMENT PARTIES, which prepare young mothers for childbirth, and more.

Nancy Campbell:  Hello, ladies. Meadow and I are here together again. I'm so sorry that you didn't get the podcast on time. Meadow and I had done it together, but when it was time to be sent out to our webmaster, it was lost! It could not be found. o Colin and I came all the way back from Florida, where we had been having our Above Rubies Family Retreat. Now we've come down the track (a couple of hours) to Meadow's home, because she's just moved into a new home.

So here we are, and we're going to do this second session again. Well last time, I started off with a poem, so I'm going to read it to you. It's called:

BABY, YOU’RE WORTH IT!

By Jenny Silliman

Morning sickness, nighttime too,

Sleepy and tired the whole day through,

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Money’s tight and clothes don’t fit,

More to sew and mend and knit,

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Baby stuff is everywhere,

And I just sit here in my chair.

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Daddy declares, “We’re going out to eat!”

“Then ties my shoes, I can’t reach my feet.”

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Waiting and waiting, and pains at last,

Only false labor and due date past,

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Out in public, huge and humble,

“Is this your first?” “My sixth,” I mumble.

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Strangers’ advice, looks and sneers,

Taking comments, jokes, and jeers,

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Five children in tow, one on the way,

Out shopping my nerves begin to fray,

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Aches and pains and heavy with child,

Can’t wait to put Baby down awhile.

Oh thank You God! A baby!

The pains begin, they’re good and strong,

Pray and labor all night long.

Oh thank You God! A baby!

Labor and sweat and bear the pain,

Husband works to share the strain,

Oh thank You God! A baby!

The babe is born, oh sweet reward.

What a blessed gift from the Lord.

Oh thank You God! A Baby!

Well, in this session, we're talking about birth. Now that's the harder part. But of course, the reward is worth it. This precious, precious baby!

So it's great to be here with you again, Meadow. We've got lots of things to talk to you about in this session. Maybe before you share, Meadow, I should share with you . . .  I said right at the end of Part 1, we didn't get time to tell you about Evangeline's story.

We were just sharing, weren't we, about the “high” that you get after the baby is born, that oxytocin high. Meadow was saying how that you feel as though you climbed Mt. Everest. I said, “Wow, that's exactly what Evangeline said when she gave birth to Tiveria!”

Now that's quite a long time ago. I think Tiveria is 17 now, isn't she? I'm sure she is. Anyway, at that birth, Vange was having a breech baby. They decided that Howard would be the midwife. It was quite an amazing birth. He was an incredible midwife. He just was totally “hands on.” He was in control. He just knew how to bring this baby forth. When a baby is breech, you only have a couple of minutes to get that baby out, once the breech part, the buttocks of the baby, has crowned.

This baby, she was ready to push, and Howard said, “Yes, you can push, but as she began to push, Howard realized this baby was stuck. He had to manually go in, to bring down each leg, one by one, and then go in, and bring down each arm. All the while, he's just looking up at Vange, and saying “You're doing great! You're doing great!”

He was doing all this. It was just unbelievable. We were all gathered around Vange, and we were crying out, “Oh, God, bring forth this baby in the Name of Jesus!” And then the head was stuck! Oh goodness me.

But he had prepared and thought about if ever such a thing should happen, what would he do? He had worked out what he would do, which he did. This baby's head became unstuck and came out. We sort of thought, oh goodness me, it seems like half an hour that all this was happening! But it was only, barely a minute or so.

This baby came out, and it was just so glorious! Evangeline said, “Oh, I've climbed Mt. Everest, and I've put my flag at the top!” That's what you feel like after a birth. It's so amazing.

You know, sometimes, it doesn't work out that you have a natural birth. But we always love and long for that, and pursue that, if we can possibly do it, because it's how our bodies were created. Our bodies were created to bring forth a baby. Then you have this glorious, wonderful oxytocin high. You have such an empowerment. I think there's an empowerment in birthing, isn't there?

You know, I think it's sad for many mothers who just give over their birth to a doctor and hospital staff. They're not really participating themselves. They miss out. Because in participating and birthing your baby, you are empowered. It gives you worth as a woman. You feel that there's nothing you can't do!

Meadow: It reminds me about birth. “A woman, when she is in labor, has sorrow because her hour has come. But as soon as she has given birth to the child, she no longer remembers her anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into this world.” That's John 16:21.

NC: Yes, that is just so true, isn't it? So I believe, this is why our lovely young mothers, especially first-time mothers, they need encouraging. So many of them have never been encouraged, or even understood about how they can actually birth.

Along with my lovely daughters, a while back . . .  Actually Rashida was the first, wasn't she? We decided that we would gather together and put on a birthing encouragement party for our new mothers.

Meadow: I had one too.

NC: Oh you did. It was so great. We started with Rashida, and it was so wonderful that we thought, “Oh, wow, we're doing one for Meadow.” You made sure we did one for you, didn't you? You weren't going to not have that!

So, of course, we had the baby shower. But then, we had this birthing encouragement party. What we do, at Rashida's, and we did it for beautiful Meadow, too . . . We don't just have a great big party, because we only gather those who can positively share about birth, and give understanding, and little tips and know-how to these new mothers who have never been through it before.

I come, and Pearl, and Serene, and Vange, and one or two other close friends who just birth naturally. We begin to share. It's just so wonderful. Vange, she has really studied birth, of course, had ten births. Between us all, we've all had so many births.

So each one will go round and share the things that they found helped them during birth, so that they could encourage this young mother. How was it a blessing to you, Meadow?

Meadow: Oh, after I had my birthing encouragement party, I remember thinking, every new mother needs to have one of these. It was so encouraging to me. It made me excited about giving birth! Another thing that they did at my party is they all brought freezer foods for me. That really helped out post-partum.

That's such a wonderful thing, because a lot of times in western culture, we throw a baby shower for the mother because we want to bless them with the new baby. We sometimes forget about the mother. I was thinking, this is such a wonderful way to bless the mother because she's the one having the baby. She needs a lot of rest, and she needs a lot of encouragement. I think it would be . . . A lot of women would have a lot more confidence as they approach their birth. In Japan they don't even have baby showers!

NC: Oh, really?

Meadow: Yes, I remember saying, “Oh, I'm going to have a baby shower” to my doctor, and they were like, “What's a baby shower?”

NC: Oh, really?

Meadow: So at least we have that! But this was just one more thing that's such a blessing to the new mother.

NC: Oh, yes, and it's so wonderful to have a baby shower, and get all these beautiful gifts and clothes for your baby, clothes that you'll never manage to get through all of them to wear! I remember Rashida's second baby shower, no, third, for her last little boy. That was her third baby. Oh, she got so many sets of clothes, I don't know how she'll ever use them.

But when you have a birthing encouragement party, oh, I don't know, I just think it would be wonderful, as Meadow did, for every young mother to have this.

Meadow: Oh yes, I would say, at your birth encouragement party, invite women who are only going to share positive birth stories. This is something I think is so important, to encourage young women and not scare them with their birth stories.

I think that's why so many women, they want to have epidurals, because a lot of times, when we talk about our birth stories, if we had a traumatic experience, that's how we cope with the trauma, is by talking about our birth stories. But that can cause fear for young women who have never given birth or been pregnant. So I think it doesn't mean that we can't talk about how our birth was hard, but it's about the way we talk about it.

Like when you, Nana, were talking about Auntie Vangie's breech birth, it was the way you talked about it. You talked about it as a victorious experience. But if you had said, “Oh it was terrible, she had a breech birth, and she was really scared to go through it again. I don't know how she did it! It was so scary!”

Well, that would cause a lot of  fear, I think. So I, when I talk about my birth, there were some physical things that I went through, but my point is, “Oh, but God got me through that. It was so beautiful, a victorious experience.”

Yes, some things were hard, like I had back labor with both of mine. Their head was in the wrong position. It was down, but it was facing the wrong way. So that was very painful. But it was not traumatic. I was so able to get through it, and still look back and think it was a wonderful experience.

NC: Yes, yes! That is the thing. Because something can be hard as you're going through. You know, labor is labor! It's hard, hard work. Like some men have to get out and work so hard. You know, even when you work hard, if you're really doing something that takes all your strength, you go, uhhhhh. Yu kind of groan, and you do that with labor, too.

Of course, that's one of the little secrets, isn't it? You do have to be vocal in labor. It's important. There's something about being vocal that helps you move these things. So when you're in labor, and you've just got to let it out, but the secret is, you keep it to that low groan.

You don't get high and scream, because that doesn't help. It just completely makes it worse. There's something about this intense, uhhhhh, this groaning, this low groan, even if it's loud, loud, loud. Because it helps you in that intensity of the labor. But it's not as though you're dying, it's just you're doing intense labor!

Meadow: I can add that, yes, I remember before I gave birth, not to scream, not to make any high-pitched noises, because that actually makes it worse. So when I had to push Warren out, I was pushing a really long time, over an hour. I was doing like heavy metal groaning!

I have a very soft, high-pitched voice, so that noise was kind of surprising, coming from me, I guess. I just had to do everything I could to get him out, because his hand was up there, so I did that deep, deep, almost growling noise. But it seemed to help!

NC: It does, it does help, yes. I would notice with many of the births of our daughters, and our wonderful midwife would be there. They would maybe start to get a little bit high and she would say, “Come on, get that noise down!” Because it's so much better for your labor contractions.

Another thing I love to tell the young mothers, and this is something I found a blessing for me. I had to know it, because you're going through labor, and you're getting up to six and seven and eight, and then you're getting closer, you're coping. OK, you're groaning, but you're coping. You ride and you raise, or whatever you do.

That's another thing too. You know, when each contraction comes, it's important to think of something that you will do as you go through that contraction. Everybody will think of something different. For me, to me it was like riding a wave. I guess, because I was brought up near the sea, by the Pacific Ocean, with the pounding waves kind of coming down, and loving to ride on those waves. It was something that I loved.

In fact, we were just down at Panama Beach, because that's where we had the family retreat. The hurricanes had been coming through nearby. We didn't get them, but it made the sea very rough, especially for the Gulf.

It was fun. I just love going out, but although it was sort of rough, it was still not like what I was used to with living in New Zealand, and then in Surfer’s Paradise in Australia. So I, as each contraction came, I would just think of riding this wave. Instead of tensing, I would seek to just go with the contraction, and go with it, and ride it out to the finish. So that was my mental image. What did you do with yours?

Meadow: Yes, I think women have different approaches to how they manage their contractions. I remember when I gave birth to Raymond, I would open up my palms every time I had a contraction because that would prevent me from tensing up. Because if your palms are tense, then it's likely that you're tense down there.

I would thank God. When the contractions came, I would be like, “Thank You, God, because my body is working to get the baby out.” Contractions are progress. That's how you have to view them. You can't fight them. You have to surrender to them.

So I would just focus on one contraction at a time. Don't worry about the next contraction. Don't think, “Oh, if this one is hard, how am I going to handle the next one?” Just take it one at a time. Because you get breaks, and God's grace is sufficient for that moment.

NC: Yes! That's beautiful. I love that, Meadow. Oh, I think Serene is a little spoiled. She always has quite a little wait between her contractions. I have even seen her at some of her births sort of nod off to sleep between them.

Meadow: That happened to me!

NC: Really?

Meadow: Yes, not with Warren. It was very intense with Warren, my first. But with Raymond, it's like my body gave me a break during transition, and I almost felt like I could take a nap.

NC: Wow!

Meadow: And I remember hearing my midwife say, “Yes, sometimes this happens when you're at a ten. Your body will put you in rest mode before you push, to reserve energy.” It was amazing.

NC: Amazing! Yes, God is so good! He is with us in labor. He is with you, dear mother, in your labor. God is with you every moment.

That's another thing, talking about transition. To me, I always had to have that there in the back of my mind, knowing that when I got to transition, when I'm opened up to ten, that's those last two or three contractions, they are so intense. They are the most intense. It's that time that many mothers think, “Oh, no, I can't do this! I can't do this!” And they want to get an epidural or get something else. They will give in.

But if you know, you've got to remember, OK, when you get to that intense time, that's transition. “Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! I've nearly got my baby!” So many of them, after those last few transition contractions, you're then, maybe you'll have a rest like you, but then you're going to begin to push.

And you're doing something entirely different. You're now pushing your baby out. So if you can just remember, especially dear new mothers, when you get to that most intense time, maybe your midwife or your nurse will say, “Yes, you're just at nine or ten! You're just about there, and you can do it! You can do it because you're right at the end!” So it's remembering at what stage you're at.

Meadow: That's right. With my second, transition was a lot faster. My water broke, and two contractions later, he was here. But with Warren, I had a long transition. But I, one thing I never let myself think was, “Oh, this is going to take forever! How am I ever going to get through this?” The mindset is so powerful, so I just kept thinking, “He's coming soon, he's coming soon,” even though I was pushing so long. You just have to thank God, “Oh, Thank You Lord, that this baby is coming!”

And you have to really envision yourself opening wide, because if you envision your body opening up wide, then you're more likely to open up wide, because our mind has a powerful influence over our body. But if you think, “Oh, I don't know how this baby is going to come out! I don't know how I can get this baby out of  my body!” Then you're more likely to tense and close up. So one of the best tips is to really envision yourself opening up.

NC: Yes, yes! Amen. Oh yes. So I hope you're getting all these little things. These are just some of the little tips, along with many others, that we would share at these encouragement parties. I'm just thinking, maybe we should do a podcast—I should get Serene, Vange, and Pearl...

Meadow: We'd have so much to share!

NC: Oh, yes, it would be a great idea, because, oh, it is so necessary to have that encouragement. It is just such a beautiful experience. I would have to say that giving birth to my babies were the most, some of the most beautiful, even though they were intense, and I had true, real labor, but oh, when you think of the whole birth, and the joy of that baby coming! They were some of the greatest experiences of my life!

Meadow: Oh, yes, after giving birth . . . two of the most amazing moments I can think of in my life were just after I gave birth. Because you have all of these endorphins, natural hormones of responding with your baby, oxytocin . . . It's just oh, it's hard to describe it!

NC: You cannot describe it until you have experienced it. That's why I want to encourage every new mom to just not give in and, “Here I am, just do what you have to do to get this baby out.” No! You birth this baby, and you will then get that beautiful, wonderful experience that God gives to you. Because God is in it all.

Oh, can I read you one or two Scriptures? There are so many Scriptures, but I wrote down a couple here I wanted to share with you.

Psalm 22: 9. David is speaking, and he says: “But Thou art He that took me out of the womb.” Now David is saying, “Oh, God, You are the One Who brought me out of the womb.”

He would have had . . . sure, there were midwives around. That was very much part of Biblical life and historical life back then. There were always many midwives around who would be there to help the mother with the birth.

But David acknowledged: “Oh, God, You are the One Who brought me forth from the womb.” I want you to get this, dear mothers. Ultimately it is God Who brings forth the baby. You may have a doctor there, you may have nurses, or you may have a midwife at home. But whoever is with you, it is God Who will bring this baby forth. He is the One Who does it.

In my margin, it says: “You were the One Who kept me in safety.” That's actually the root understanding of that Scripture. Quite a few other translations say: “You delivered me safely from my mother's womb.” Yes, now actually the New English Translation, in their comments say: “You are the One Who pulled me out.” They say the word is “pull out,” or “burst forth,” or “kept me safe.”

So these are beautiful understandings of that Scripture. “You are the One Who took me out of my mother's womb, Who brought me safely forth.” Oh, that's a Scripture you need to write down, and have it there, so you can have it in your heart, and in your mind, and speak it forth.

Yes, the Knox Translation says: “What Hand but Thine drew me out from my mothers' womb?” What hand was it? It was God's Hand. He's the One. His Hand is there to help bring forth your babies.

And then we have the Message Bible, which is a little more kind of down to earth. It says: “And to think that You” speaking of God, “Oh, God, You were midwife at my birth, setting me at my mother's breast.” Ultimately, God is your midwife. He is the One Who will bring your baby safely forth from your womb. So take hold of that. Oh, what a promise!

And then there's Psalm 71: 6. “By Thee, Oh God, have I been holden up from the womb. Thou art He that took me out of my mother's bowels,” or my mother's womb. “My praise shall be continually of Thee.” Isn't that wonderful? That's how I think of birth, every time I think of it. For my own . . . I think of it for every mother as I pray for her, for her birth. Thank You, Lord.

And maybe I just want to pray over every mother who's getting ready to have a baby. You're pregnant, your birth is coming up soon.

“Oh, Father, I bring every pregnant mother before You now. I bring her birth before You. At that moment, when this baby says it's time to come, because it's the baby who says it's time to come . . .

And Lord, I pray that You will come to her, and You will bring their precious baby forth, Lord. Oh, we thank You that You are the One Who does it. You are the One Who brings the baby safely forth. Lord God, I speak that promise over every mother waiting to have her baby. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.

Meadow: One more topic I can cover really quick. I just, I remember in our last podcast, we were talking about pain. And we were talking about fear of childbirth, but more specifically, I want to talk about fear of the pain, because that's why so many mothers get epidurals.

A lot of times, when we think of pain in childbirth, we think that it's going to be the most excruciating experience we've ever had. And in some cases, it might be the most pain a woman's ever gone through.

But not always. I've actually experienced some things that I thought were worse than childbirth, like when I had my root canal. Like this is worse than childbirth! It's more intense.

The thing about contractions is, they're not a sharp pain. They're more of a deep pain that grows. The nice thing about it is, you get breaks. You're not in pain the entire time, like if you have really bad tooth pain that hurts almost the entire time until you get it fixed. That's not the case with childbirth.

Another thing is when the baby comes out, when you have the “ring of fire.” I know some women are scared of that. What I would say to them is that's actually an exciting pain. Like when the baby starts to come out, and you feel that happening, that's one of the most exciting experiences ever, because you can actually feel the baby coming out of your body.

You're not really focusing on the pain. You're focusing on the baby, on the process of giving birth, and pushing out the baby. I don't remember that part being scary. It was like, “Oh my goodness, it's happening! He's almost out!” So don't be afraid of that part.

NC: Yes, Yes! Oh, I know! Lovely ladies, you don't have to look with just, oh, that fear, as you come to birth. You look forward it with joy because it is a very beautiful experience. And the greatest thing is, God is with you! He is the One Who brought conception. He is the One Who has mightily, supernaturally, amazingly, created this precious life in your womb.

He doesn't abandon you when this baby is to come. He is there! He's bringing this baby forth. Yield to your birth. As you yield to it, you will find that it is so much easier. God will be with you in the most wonderful way. Amen!

Meadow: Amen, Nana!

NC: Anything more you want to say about it?

Meadow: Oh, I guess I'd have a couple of practical tips. Get your husband on board. Let him study with you so that he can be your coach. So you can be a team. I love that my husband was my coach during birth. With my second, I didn't really need coaching so much, because it was so instinctive for me. But it can be comforting to know that your husband can remind you to keep your palms open, and how to breathe through the contractions.

NC: When I was breathing and preparing for my births, so many years ago now, but there was a wonderful book called Husband-Coached Childbirth. I'm not sure whether it is around today, but I'm sure you can get old books that are still there on Amazon. Look for it. It was a powerful book. I loved it. It was one of my favorite books on childbirth. Just look it up You might find it. It will be a real blessing to you.

It's so good to get hold of positive, encouraging books on birth that would encourage you to see it as a beautiful, God-given experience that your body was created to do. This is also what we need to be reminded of, lovely ladies, especially beautiful young mothers, or even mothers who had difficult hospital births, had invasion. And you haven't been able to be free to just do it how you want, and to position yourself how you want, get down on your knees, or do however you want to birth this baby.

Go after that, even those who've had C-sections. You know, many times you are informed by the medical staff that, “Oh, you've had a C-section, you'll just have to keep having C-sections. You know, you can't have a natural birth now.” That is not true.

There are literally thousands of women who have had VBACs, vaginal birth after C-section. It is something to go after. Go after it, and seek out a good midwife, or someone who will help you do that. Because it is so worth it! Your body was created to give birth! You're created to do it! So you can do it!

Meadow: Yes, that's great, Nana. So I just wanted to go over some of the practical tips we've already discussed. We've talked about opening your palms. We talked about low deep noises. We talked about envisioning yourself opening up wide, and how to handle each contraction.

Another one is to push out slowly. When I pushed with Warren, my first, I had to push out really long and hard, because his hand was stuck, so I couldn't really help with that. But he came out flying, and the doctor caught him thankfully! So I couldn't really push slowly out with him.

But with Raymond, I was one my knees, which helped so much. I actually gradually pushed him out really slow. That can take a lot of self-control, because you really, really feel like they need to get out, when they're in there like that. But that gave my body time to open up. So I think that really helped, the fact that I didn't tear.

NC: The pushing out is so important to do like that. I just love watching our lovely midwives, who were with so many of the births of our daughters. I think, well, she's hardly, of all the thousands of births she's done, she's hardly ever had a tear. She would just massage the perineum, helping to open it up, just as the baby was crowning.

She helped them so much with bringing forth this baby, just little by little. That's important too, although usually with your first, the baby is coming out more slowly, and you will have many more pushes. Subsequent babies, oh, I've found that I just got faster every time, until in the end, they would just fly out. I didn't even have to push! I think your body just gets used to birth. That can happen too. 

But I think our time is gone. I trust you have been so blessed and encouraged. Let me pray again.

“Oh, Father, we want to give You thanks. Thank You for Your design. Lord, Your works are perfect. And every design and plan of Yours is perfect. Your design to bring forth a baby is perfect. So Father, I pray that You will help every lovely young mom to understand this, that Lord, Your design is perfect, and that You are there to help them bring forth this baby safely.

“And Lord, as they yield to Your design, that Lord, You will be with them, and their birth will be so much easier. Maybe hard, but easier, because, Lord, You help us know how to do it, and you teach us. We thank You, Lord, that also You teach us, Lord.

“Every birth, we can understand more of how to do it as we learn to do it Your way. I just pray, Lord, again, for every mother who's pregnant, who's ready to give birth. Be with her in a powerful way. We pray that Lord, their baby will come forth triumphantly, victoriously, beautifully, wondrously. In the Name of Jesus. Amen.”

Now, just before I go, I was thinking as I prayed, Serene and Pearl wrote a beautiful song about birthing. It's on one of their CDs. You can go to my web page, and all their songs you can download. So just check around for the one on birthing. It will so bless you. Maybe you'll want to put it on your playlist for your birthing. You made a playlist, didn't you, Meadow?

Meadow: Yes, I did. they were mostly worship songs.

NC: Yes, that's beautiful, to have worship songs. But this was a great song for birthing. Oh, it would so encourage you! Anyway, we've got to say goodbye. Love you all!

Transcribed by Darlene Norris.