PODCAST TRANSCRIPT | Episode 82 – TABLE TIPS

FROM OUR HOME TO YOURS w/ Nancy Campbell

Episode 82 - TABLE TIPS

Rocky Barrett: Welcome to the podcast, From Our Home to Yours, with Nancy Campbell, founder and publisher of Above Rubies.

Nancy Campbell: Hello to you today. I pray you are being blessed and enjoying the presence of the Lord in your home.

Last week we were talking about the table and the Table of Showbread in the Bible. On the table of showbread there was showbread. That is why it was called the Table of Showbread. Actually, the table and the bread were considered as one. They were like twins. You couldn’t have one without the other.

It’s interesting that when the priest would come in to change the bread each week, because every new week they baked 12 new loaves of bread for the table because God said it was to be continually upon the table. It was also called the continual table.

When they came in, they would have one set of priests who would take the bread and the vessels off the table. As they were taking it off the table, they would have another set of priests who would immediately put more on the table so that there absolutely not a second when bread wasn’t upon the table.

So the bread and the table were synonymous just like mother and home are synonymous. A home without a mother is not really a home and how can a mother really be a mother without a home? They’re really synonymous terms.

A home is meant to have a mother just as the table is a place where we’re meant to eat. Did you get that point, ladies? The table and the bread, or the table and the food, are synonymous.

In other words, the Bible reveals to us that we are meant to eat at the table. We don’t eat wherever we would like.

It’s time for mealtime and everyone is hungry. Maybe the mother calls, “Come and get it” and everyone comes and gets what he or she want and eats where they want.

No, that is not how we eat meals. We are meant to eat meals around the table.

Now we have tables that we sit at today. Back in Bible days or Middle Eastern times they had low tables. They still sat at those tables, but they sort of reclined in a sitting position and maybe sat on the floor because the table was low.

There is one Hebrew word for table where it was a mat on the ground. The people or the family would come and sit around the mat and the food would be in the middle.

See, the whole concept of the table is to gather people around. No matter what the situation, if it’s some beautiful high-class table or some humble table or a little low table or even a mat or tablecloth on the ground, it’s a table. It’s a gathering place.

We need to get that concept so that in our homes we don’t get away from the habit of sitting at the table.

I’m sure that is normal in your home but sadly there are many homes today that are forgetting the table because their lives are so busy. They’re often out here or there and getting fast food. Even when they’re home people are just getting what they want to eat and eating wherever they’d like.

We’ve forgotten the true concept of the table.

Now remember last week I told you that it’s not only a Biblical principle but also a heavenly principle. God has a table in His kingdom.

Well, I would think He has many, many, many tables because in the tabernacle there was one table of showbread. But when Solomon built the temple, he built ten tables of showbread because it was a much larger place (2 Chronicles 4:8). So I can’t imagine how many tables God has in His Kingdom!

If it’s a heavenly thing, shouldn’t it bring a little bit of Heaven to our home?

Perhaps you don’t feel like that. Sometimes you think, “Help, you should come to my place, it’s not very heavenly around here. It’s just one big shambles.”

Well ladies, today I would like to give you a few little practical tips. They are from the Bible and also from my experience. It’s amazing how much practical stuff the Bible has. I’m forever amazed at how God shows us about everything in His Word. It’s amazing!

SET THE TABLE

The first tip I want to give you is to set your table. I believe it is important to set your table and not just to throw some silverware on the table and some plates with the food and yell, “Come and get it.”

No; let’s set the table.

What does it say in Proverbs 9:1, 2? “Wisdom has built her house . . . she has also set her table.”

I believe it is very important to set a table because it draws people to it. We should make our table a place where our family, even our little children, want to come, because it draws them.

I think it is lovely to put a tablecloth on a table. I myself don’t like to sit down to a naked table to eat my meal.

In the daytime sometimes I have a naked table, although I usually have some kind of centerpiece cloth on my table. But it’s still half-naked during the day.

But when we come together to eat our meals, I love to put a tablecloth on. It’s mealtime so we’re not going to have the table just as it’s been. We’re going to make it special because now we’re going to eat together.

I remember a friend staying with me. I was preparing the meal and I said, “Oh, would you like to set the table?”

I found the tablecloth for her. She said, “Oh goodness, do you still use a tablecloth? I’ve never used one, and all of the friends I know, none of us use tablecloths.”

I said to her, “Wow, do you mean to say you sit down at naked tables?”

But anyway, you may think, “Well I’ve got little ones and that’s just too much work.”

We go through different seasons in our lives. But even when we do have little ones it’s possible to buy a beautiful tablecloth and put clear plastic over it. All you have to do is wipe down the plastic. You’d have to wipe down your table anyway, but you’ve still got something pretty underneath. So that’s something you can do.

As your children get older you find there comes a time in your life when you actually don’t have clear plastic over it any longer.

I find that even though I use a tablecloth every night I don’t wash my tablecloth every time. It’s amazing. It doesn’t seem to need it. We just shake it out. It lasts for two to three or sometimes even four meals before it really needs to be washed.

But I think that’s a beautiful thing. It adds a touch to your table.

Then you set your table correctly.

Now of course, dear mothers, you don’t have to be doing all this yourself because you’re training your children as they grow.

Even little ones, even four and five-year-olds, can set the table. It’s a job they just love to do. Oh they just love to choose the tablecloth.

When you show them how to set the table, they learn.

I’ve had young people come to my home and they don’t even know where the knives and forks go. I can’t believe it! But you can teach your children from little where you put the knife and fork and they are learning as they go.

You can encourage them to make something special for the table like a centerpiece. Maybe they can go outside and find some leaves or maybe find some wildflowers. They can find something that they can put in the center of the table or maybe they can draw a little card or something. It just gives them a little incentive and releases their creativity.

It may not be perfect, but who cares about that? It’s made special. There’s thought into it.

When everybody comes to the table there’s a little talking piece: “Oh, what is this you’ve put in? Oh, it looks lovely!”

They feel so special. You’ll find that as you give each of your children turns, they’ll become very competitive as to who is doing the best table.

It’s something your children can do. They learn how to do it correctly. They learn how to make a beautiful, creative table that draws people to it.

Then you put your food out on the table that you’ve been preparing (just put it in some dishes). Have it looking lovely, looking set, so it’s something that draws people to it.

I believe the table should draw our family to it. Oh, this is so lovely! They just want to come and sit around.

You may have heard me say this before, but I remember watching a movie years and years ago. When I watched it, it was black and white. It was rather slow moving and subtitled. Today you can get it in color and it’s in English and it was called, Babette’s Feast.

It’s the amazing story of this religious community and how they became so disgruntled with one another. But this woman behind the scenes made this glorious, glorious meal. Nobody knew that she was once the cook of a great restaurant in France. There was someone at this meal who had been to her restaurant. He got up and said, “This reminds me of a woman I know. A woman who knew how to make every meal into a love affair.”

I caught those lines. I loved those lines. I have taken them ever since. Sometimes I have it happen more than others. I love to have it as my vision for each table, to make every meal a love affair.

That’s a beautiful thing to do, mothers, because your meal table is so important. Your family is going to gather around. Don’t you want to make it a love affair? Don’t you want to make another memory? Don’t you want to make it something special for them instead of something that’s so boring and ordinary?

MAKE IT ORDERLY

Let’s go on to the next point which is very similar and that is making it orderly.

There is a Scripture, once again about the Table of Showbread. It is Exodus 40:4 (and 23). It says: “And thou shalt bring in the table [that’s the Table of Showbread], and set in order the things that are to be set in order upon it . . ..”

God had told Moses about the bread, about the vessels, about the utensils, about the frankincense. He told them about everything that had to be on the table, and it had to be on the table in a certain way, in order.

In verse 23 it says: “And he set the bread in order upon it before the Lord [in the presence of the Lord]; as the Lord had commanded Moses.”

“As we set an orderly table, our children will become more orderly. They follow the pattern of the table.”

God loves things orderly. He doesn’t want us to have a table that’s all haphazard with everything just thrown on it. No, God loves order. I believe, ladies, that as we set an orderly table and we set a lovely table that our children will become more orderly. The children will follow the pattern of the table.

If we don’t put much emphasis on the table and we just throw out the food and say, “Here, come and get it” and they can gather where they want and just grab a plate and put the food on, it’s not set out for each specific person. When it’s just like that it’s easy for them to give in to negative behavior. But when they see an orderly table, somehow it makes them want to be more orderly.

You see, practical things help the atmosphere. How we create the atmosphere will determine a lot of how our children will behave.

I want you to try out these little secrets, dear mothers, and see what will happen at your table.

SIT AT THE TABLE

Another little practical thing is about sitting at the table. Did you know that the Bible has lots and lots to say about sitting at the table?

I’m not going to give you all the Scriptures, but I have just done a study and I have written pages of Scriptures about sitting at the table and the Hebrew and the Greek words that mean “to sit” at the table.

Even some of the words for dwelling, the dwelling of the home, some of those Hebrew words also include the meaning of the word “sitting” or “sitting in the home.”

It’s a very Biblical thing.

We could perhaps first go to the Old Testament. In 1 Samuel 20 it tells the story of David and Jonathan and how David is currently living in King Saul’s palace.

But Saul is getting very jealous of David. You will remember how David went out to battle and how when the men would come home from battle all the women came out and they would sing the victory songs. They would sing, “Saul has slain his thousands, but David his tens of thousands” (1 Samuel 18:7).

I don’t think Saul liked that very much. He also had a problem of an evil spirit coming upon him and getting mad and angry. David would play his harp to soothe him but even then, sometimes he would throw his javelin at him.

David was feeling hated and he was thinking, “This time I’ve got out of this palace.”

He and Jonathan were out on the fields making plans of how they were going to do it.

David said, “I’m going to go back home for three days. Tonight you’ll go to the table and my place will be empty. Let me know what’s going to happen.”

So anyway we go to verse five where David says: “ . . . I should not fail to sit at the table with the king . . ..”

Because everybody in the palace who were allowed to be at the king’s table had to be there when it was mealtime. They had to be there, and they had to be in their seat.

We go down to verses 24 and 25: “ . . . And when the new moon came, the king sat down to eat food. The king sat on his seat, as at other times, on the seat by the wall. Jonathan sat opposite^, and Abner sat by Saul's side, but David's place was empty.”

Do you notice there, ladies, that the Bible takes time to tell us this? Did the Bible really have to tell us where they were all sitting at the table? I mean, what are we going to get out of that?

Well, I’ll tell you what we’re going to get out of it, ladies: it’s important for each of our children to have a seat at the table.

God wants us to sit down for our meals and He wants every ne there. Now David’s place was empty, and Saul was going to notice. He didn’t say anything the first night because he thought, “Oh well, maybe he’s had to go urgently somewhere.”

But the next night when his seat was empty, wow. He was angry! He got to Jonathan to find out what was happening. Of course the end of the story is how Jonathan realized his father was so angry with David that David knew it was time to flee the palace and he left.

But getting back to the seating. That’s amazing. The Bible talks about where each one sat. It says that the king sat as he did every other time. They all sat at their assigned seating. That’s interesting. Maybe it’s a good idea to have assigned seating.

I had a mother come to me recently and she said, “Nancy, my children fight and squabble at the table about where they’re going to sit.”

I said, “Do you just let them sit anywhere?”

“Yes,” she said, “but they’re always fighting. One wants to sit by Daddy, and one wants to sit here.”

I said, “Try assigned seating because it’s Biblical.”

When we have a certain place for each child they know where they’re going to sit so they don’t have to fight or argue over it. Of course you could change it. Maybe every few months you could change it so that some have a chance to sit by Daddy or by Mummy or by someone.

But you keep that assigned seating for a certain time because it’s another way of having order. People know where they are coming, and they sit at their seat with no bickering or fighting.

There we go. Isn’t it amazing? God has a Biblical answer for every little thing we face in our home.

Let’s go over to the New Testament and we’ll look at that wonderful story where Jesus fed the five thousand men plus women and children. Remember, He had been speaking to them for so long and they were tired and weary and HUNGRY.

Jesus said, “We can’t turn them away when they’re hungry like this” because Jesus is the Bread. He wants to fill us with sustenance from Himself, spiritually. He wants to fill us physically, too. He feeds us with good things.

He said, “What have we got?” They had five loaves and two fishes.

Before Jesus did anything and before He broke the bread and began to pass out the food, we notice something. We notice it in every Gospel. Can I read you a little verse out of each Gospel on this story?

In Matthew 14:19 it says: “And he commanded the multitude to sit down on the grass . . ..”

Then in Mark 6:39-20 it says that Jesus “ . . .commanded them to make all sit down by companies upon the green grass. And they sat down in ranks . . ..”

He was commanding His disciples to make (notice the two words here: command and make all, not just a few, but all of them sit down.

“No food until everyone is seated!”

Jesus did not give out any food until they were all sitting down. No food until they were all seated. That’s a good rule for your house.

Then in Luke 9:14: “ . . .And he said to his disciples, Make them sit down . . ..”

In John 6:10-11 (this is in every Gospel): “And Jesus said, Make the men sit down. Now there was much grass in the place. So the men sat down, in number about five thousand.  And Jesus took the loaves; and when he had given thanks, he distributed to the disciples, and the disciples to them that were set down . . ..”

Do you notice how Jesus refused to give out any food until everyone was seated?

There is something about sitting down for a meal. You see, when we come to the table, ladies, it is more than just for food.

This is another thing that is synonymous: food and fellowship. They go together.

We sit down not only to eat, but to fellowship. You’re sitting at the table; you’re not sitting down at the TV or wherever you’d like. It’s sitting together at the table.

Jesus got the people on that day to sit down in companies. They were there so they could fellowship together in companies. That’s all part of eating.

So we benefit physically. Scientific studies have been done that when you walk around and work, doing what you have to do while you’re eating, you really don’t even remember what you’ve eaten. You’re not physically getting the nutrients that you should get from your food and which you would get if you were sitting down and taking time to eat and talk with others.

That’s the way food is meant to be eaten.

Now lovely, darling mothers, especially with little ones, you have to watch that. It’s easy for you to be feeding the children and you’re standing up and eating a bit as you’re doing it.

You think, “Oh well, I haven’t got time to eat now.”

No, work it out somehow that you can also sit down with the family and sit down with your children. Maybe you’re sitting down and you’re feeding them at the same time, feeding the baby in the highchair beside you, or the baby that is sitting in your lap, or maybe even just nursing the little baby while you eat.

Maybe you have a baby that is a little older now and knows how to chew or is learning to eat. You may be feeding the little one from your plate. Perhaps they’re in the highchair and you can just give them some finger foods while you’re eating.

But try and sit down with the family. It’s establishing a habit, even with your little ones. It’s amazing what you can do as you plan to make it happen.

So sitting down is very important.

As you think about the assigned seating, I do hope your husband sits at the head of the table.

I think that’s a beautiful thing because we don’t have to get our children around and give them a lesson saying, “Oh, now Daddy is the head of our home.” No, we just teach them that by the way we live, by our lifestyle. Daddy comes to the table, he sits at the head, and he gives thanks for the meal. He is leading the family. The children see him there at the head of the table.

Maybe you sit at the other head of the table or maybe you sit by your husband.

I think it is great for your husband to sit at the head of the table. There is just something very special about it. I think it causes a man to rise up into who he is.

I remember once when we were leaving Australia. All of our furniture was ready for the junk heap. We got rid of it all. When you’re leaving, not just a state, but a country, you have to get rid of so much.

But I didn’t know what to do with our beautiful table because my father had bought it for us. It was a beautiful table made with wood from New Guinea. It could fit twelve or fourteen people around it. It was beautiful.

We gave it to Val and Bill. Val is the head of Above Rubies in Australia and looks after it down there. At that time her husband was not a Christian, but he has now come to the Lord. They had a little round table but when they sat down around our big table and Bill sat at the head of the table, she said it was amazing. Without any prompting from her or her saying anything, he gave thanks for the meal. It was as though something came upon him as he was there at the head of that table.

I remember a time when I was having a meal with a friend on the way out of New Zealand. We fly out of Auckland and so I went there for a meal on the way out. This woman cooked the most beautiful meal. She’s a great cook.

It was time to come to the meal. Her husband came to the table and the girls came. They just sat anywhere, the husband sat at the side of the table ,and it seemed to me so sad because there was something missing. The meal was beautiful, but the husband wasn’t there at the head of the table. In fact, when he had eaten his meal he just left. When the girls had eaten their meal, they all just went, and I was left there sitting with my friend.

It was so sad because they are missing so much. Those girls missed out on seeing their father at the head of the table. They missed out on their father leading them in Bible reading at the end of the mealtime. It was just a bit of food and then that’s it—gone!

The meal table is far more than that.

Another thing about sitting, too, is that I don’t think that we can expect really little ones to sit up straight at the table.

Of course when they are able to, then we are going to train them to, but when they are still little wee toddlers, maybe they could be there for a little while and then they will come and sit on our knee. Maybe one will be on Daddy’s knee and perhaps you have the baby.

Many of you have a bigger family with all different ages, with teens and middling ones and little ones. Actually it becomes so much easier then, doesn’t it? An older child can hold a little one, especially as you get to do family devotions.

Maybe they can have a little time of training and learn to sit up and eat their food. Then it comes time for Bible reading and they are getting a bit fidgety. An older child can take one on their lap and cuddle them and hold them. Maybe Daddy or Mummy can take another one and you just rock and cuddle them as the Bible is being read. They are in a place where they can receive it.

You’ll have wisdom about that as you’re training your children to sit at the table.

NO IPHONES AT THE TABLE

Another thing about the table (and this is something we would have never had to talk about years ago) but suddenly now we have to talk about it. And that’s iPhones at the table.

Oh precious mothers, I hope that you don’t allow iPhones at your table. They are rude. They are an intrusion. They say, “I’m not really interested in anyone around this table, thank you.”

You see ladies, we’ve got to realize that the table is not just food for our bodies. The table is food for our soul and food for our spirit. It is where we feed the whole man and it is a place where we gather our family to communicate, to dialogue, and to talk to one another. It is where we talk about things together. It is where we discuss things. It is a place where we talk to one another. It is where we cement our convictions and hone our ideas and learn new things.

We can’t do that if there are people with iPhones. Oh goodness me! Help! That’s not a gathering together at the table.

If our children are so addicted that they can’t let their iPhone go while they’re at the table, then they have got a problem, and you’ll have to deal with it.

I know some of your children may not have iPhones yet but it seems there is coming a time where most children get them these days and as they do you’ve got to teach them how to use them just as we do ourselves.

Sadly, there are some fathers and mothers that use them at the table. You better get out of that habit, too, because we are teaching our children. We have to learn how to use iPhones so that they are our tools and we’re not their victims.

That takes self-control. But isn’t that one of the things that the older mothers are to teach the younger mothers? We are to teach the young mothers to have self-control, to be sober.

That meaning of sober is “to gird up the mind and to have self-control.” We as mothers have got to learn to have self-control with our iPhones so that we use them as a tool. They can be used as a tool or you can become a victim to social media on them.

We especially have to teach our teens and our children and put boundaries on them when it comes to time on their iPhones. Whatever boundaries you put will be different in every family. But at least, oh precious mothers, don’t ever allow them at the table! It is an intrusion on your family life, and your togetherness, and your heart and soul communication.

You will have to watch with your beady eyes. We have lots of people come to our table and I have sometimes noticed children, and even teens, with their eyes cast down and they’re looking actually past their food plate.

I think, “Oh my! They are looking at their iPhone. How did they get that to the table?”

So you do have to watch.

 A good idea is to maybe have a basket where you can say, “Okay, drop all iPhones in here. Come children!”

Make sure it’s far enough away so they don’t hear dings and beeps, so they’re not tempted to run and get it.

Isn’t it amazing? People are total victims. They are victims today to dings and beeps. Can you believe that? Dings and beeps and they run to them!

Goodness me, we must learn self-control.

In fact, iPhones are a good, wonderful, and amazing way to learn self-control, aren’t they?

DIRECT THE CONVERSATION

Here are a few other things that are a good idea when you all come to the table. Direct the conversation.

Ladies, if you just let it go however it’s going to go, guess what? It’s going to go nowhere. It will get to shallowness and nothingness.

You have got to direct it.

I have found that it’s just as important for me to think about what we’re going to talk about at the table as it is for what I will prepare for the meal.

You can go to my webpage where you can pick up a list that I have put together that is about conversations for mealtimes. It is somewhere on the family meal table subject. If I can’t think of something new, then I can go to my list.

But I will bring a question or a subject for discussion. It may be political, biblical, geographical, or whatever. It may be an interesting question. “Okay, children, what about this? Let’s talk about this.”

Sometimes we will go around and have a question where each one has to go around and answer such as, “What is something new you have learned today?”

Direct the conversation so that you can have a positive time at your table.

And, of course, don’t leave the table, lovely ladies, until you have fed your children completely. The table is to feed their body, soul, and spirit. You feed their bodies. You feed their souls as you dialogue together.

But the most important is their spirit. You’ve got to feed their spirit. Don’t leave until you open the Word of God and your husband reads from the Word of God.

In our home we use The Daily Light on the Daily Path because it’s just Scripture and it has it for every morning and every evening of the year so it’s always there waiting for you. It’s a great blessing to do that.

Back in Holland in the early days they used to call the Bible reading “Finishing up the meal.” Isn’t that great? I had never heard that until I was in Holland one time and this lady told me.

I thought, “How amazing! They always finished the meal with the Bible.” That’s how they finish it up. They fed their spirits. Then your children are being completely fed: spirit, soul and body. Isn’t that good?

Don’t grow big, physical children with starving spirits. There must be so many children whose spirits are starving and famished because their spirits are not fed with the Word of God.

PLACE THE BIBLE BY YOUR HUSBAND’S PLATE

Just two little tips as we close: When we first began to do this, as my children were growing, my husband would sometimes forget. I mean, he didn’t want to forget. But you know men, they have a one-track mind and if they are thinking about something else, they forget about reading the Bible.

So what I would do was, I would bring the Bible, or The Daily Light and I would put it by his plate. I would do that as the meal was coming to a close. I would put it by his plate so he would subconsciously put out his hand, pick it up, and read, because he wanted to do it, but maybe he would forget and that was a little reminder.

WAIT TO CLEAR THE TABLE

Another thing is that we don’t, in our home, scrape the plates and pick up the plates and take them to the counter to have a lovely clean table to have our Bible reading.

No. I have found, ladies, that if we do that and everybody starts scraping and cleaning and starts walking over to the counter and clearing all of the plates, do you know what happens? Oh goodness me, I can’t get them back again!

One runs to the toilet, one runs here, and I can’t get them back.

So, I don’t let them go and we have our Bible reading as we end the meal, and do you know what? We’ve never noticed the plates on the table. Never noticed.

But at least we keep the beautiful atmosphere of the meal.

Time is up. I hope these were a blessing to you.

“Dear Father, we thank You for Your precious Word and how You teach us so much. Oh, we thank You. Thank You for showing us the way.

“I pray that You will give every precious mother such a vision for her table that this coming year will be a year where the table becomes such a focal point in their homes of gathering the family around.

“Lord, give them such beautiful, precious ,and wonderful times around the table and precious times of sharing together, and most of all, wonderful times in the reading of Your Word and praying together.

“Oh Father, bless their homes, bless their tables I pray in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.”