Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs

Some mothers have written in and asked what to do about whining children. They share that they've tried everything and the children still whine!

This is certainly a habit we need to break in their lives while they are young. As mothers we are training our children for their future and for their marriage one day. It sure won't help them to be successful in life if they have a complaining attitude. It can actually destroy their lives, and their future marriage. Who wants to live with a complaining wife? It was whining that destroyed the Israelites and kept the Israelites out of the Promised Land (Read 1 Corinthians 10:9-10).

Here's a few things to think about.

1. Pray over your child or children. Every night when they are asleep, you and your husband go into their room and pray over them. In the power of the name of Jesus break this whining spirit over your child. Pray that God will pour into their heart a grateful and happy attitude. Prayer is powerful. Never use it as a last resort. Always pray first!

2. Choose some Scriptures about being thankful for Memory Verses. Are you teaching your children to memorize the Scriptures? I believe that God's Word has the power to fill up that which is lacking in our children's lives. Whenever my children had a weakness in their life, I would fill it up with God's Word.

When God sent the plagues upon the Egyptians, one of the plagues was "pitch darkness, so thick, they could feel it" For three days no one moved in Egypt! And yet, "the children of Israel had light in their dwellings" (Exodus 10:21-23).

I don't know about you, but I feel the thick darkness of evil encroaching upon us more and more. But, in the midst of evil, God wants our homes to be FILLED WITH LIGHT! Eradicate every tiny bit of darkness from your home and let God come in and fill every room with His light. Speak prophetically God's life-giving, miracle-working words, "Let there be light," into every person and every room in your home. Pray and believe for a LIGHT FILLED HOME!

What a powerful impact against evil when all God-believing homes become LIGHTHOUSES, filled with the light of God, and shining out His truth and love to everyone in their neighborhood.

Love from Nancy

I was devastated to hear yesterday that my native country of New Zealand legalized same sex marriage. One comment says, "This means we can feel safe and fair and right in calling each other wife and wife." This statement blatantly denounces God, our Creator, who created "male and female." Anything apart from a "male and female" marriage is an affront to God and an "abomination" in His sight.

New Zealand is the 13th country in the world to legalize same sex marriage. Nine states in the US recognize it. May God save us from any more.

In this time when gross darkness is coming upon the earth, we must rise and shine with the light of God. We must not be ashamed of God's truth for everything else is deception and ends in ultimate destruction. God's way is the only way that works.

Isaiah 60:1-2 says, "Arise shine; for thy light is come, and the glory of the Lord is risen upon thee. For, behold, the darkness shall cover the earth, and gross darkness the people: but the Lord shall arise upon thee, and his glory shall be seen upon thee."

Keep shining and holding up the banner of God's truth. It is the light that exposes the darkness.

Love from Nancy

Some time ago, one of our Facebook readers (a mother of five children) wrote,

"If I chose to be single, I believe my impact would have been far greater for the kingdom."

I can't agree with this statement. It is not the natural inclination to be single, but if that is what one chooses, or God directs, that's great, and those in this situation should use their singleness for the glory of God.

It is true, as the Bible says, that when you have a husband your attention will be given to him. On the other hand, it is the rare person who chooses singleness. All hanker to be married because that is how God instinctively created us. It is rare to find a woman who is still single who doesn't long to be married. It is a natural and God-given desire.

And yes, I agree that singles can bring forth spiritual children, but, is she saying that marrieds cannot bring forth spiritual children? This is a strange statement, for we should all be seeking to bring others to Christ, whether we are single or married. My original plan was to be a single missionary (until I met Colin and fell in love and got married!), but I found I had more opportunity to witness as a mother (interacting with other mothers and families) than I did when I was single.

Now here's the real truth. Married couples have a DOUBLE BANGER! They can bring forth natural children AND they can bring forth spiritual children. Plus, their natural children will grow up to bring forth spiritual children, so they are going to end up with MORE SPIRITUAL CHILDREN, with natural children besides! How amazing!

She also says,

"The problem here is in understanding the difference between the two kingdoms of God. The first kingdom, being a natural one, needed blood descendants. But the second kingdom, being a spiritual kingdom, emphasizes spiritual descendants."

Oh my, you can't even have a spiritual kingdom without the natural descendents first, because God's spiritual kingdom consists of people! Jesus did not come to die for spirits only, but for people!

And God never negates the commands He has already given in the Old Testament, the very first command to married couples being to be fruitful and multiply. I do not believe that any of the early believers in the New Testament church would be limiting children and using birth control.

I believe we can further our work for the kingdom by bringing God's children into the world and training them for God. All our children are serving the Lord and have taken the gospel to countries to which I have not even been. I have influenced thousands for the kingdom in this nation and countries I have never been to through my children, which would not have happened if they had not come into the world.

In fact, the more children we have, the more possibility of impacting the world for God. The less of the godly seed in the land, the less revelation of God. The more godly seed in the land, the more revelation of God--more righteousness, more influence against evil, and the more the gospel will be shared and revealed.

If we are married, let's be DOUBLE BANGERS.

Love from Nancy

In the book of Micah 2:9 NET it tells us, "You wrongly evict widows among my people from their cherished homes. You defraud their children of their PRIZED INHERITANCE."

God created the home for children to be nurtured and raised. It is their "prized inheritance" and not meant to be taken from them.

God's plan is for the home; the devil's alternative is daycare!

Love from Nancy

Are you at a low ebb in your life? Do you feel you are in a dark dungeon? Please don't despair! Even in the lowest pit, God has not forgotten you.

Jeremiah was in a literal dungeon, sinking in the mire. They didn't want him to live. But, there is no low place too low for God to come. Cry out to the Lord as Jeremiah did, "Waters flowed over my head; I said, 'I am cut off!' I called on Your name, O Lord, out of LOWEST PIT. You have heard my voice, 'Do not hide Your ear from my prayer for relief, from my cry for help.' You DREW NEAR when I called on You; You said, 'DO NOT FEAR'" (Lamentations 3:53-57 NASB).

Don't look around at the dark dungeon that seems to enclose upon you. Look up to the Lord and cry out to Him. When you turn your eyes to Him, He will draw near to you. He will whisper to you, "Do not fear." He will never leave you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5-6). He is with you even when you cannot feel His presence. Trust Him.

Love from Nancy

What will you be doing in your home today as you mother your children?

You will be caring, comforting, consoling, cheering, counseling, encouraging, feeding, guarding, guiding, leading, loving, nurturing, nourishing, praying, protecting, teaching, training, succoring, strengthening and sweetening.

What a beautiful full time career! Each one of these are powerful and anointed roles that come from the heart of God. You couldn't be doing anything more powerful. You couldn't be involved in a greater ministry than revealing the heart of God as you prepare your children for this life and eternity.

Be encouraged and inspired today, dear mother.

Love from Nancy

God is a dwelling God. He lived and walked amongst the children of Israel. God said, "I walked in a tent and in a tabernacle" (2 Samuel 7:6).

Isn't that amazing? Now, He comes to live in your heart. He also wants to live in and walk in your home, too. He is with you in your kitchen as you prepare your meals and feed your children. He is with you as you change diapers, clean house, and nurture and train your children.

He wants to be part of everything you are doing. He wants to fill your home with His presence.

Are you letting Him come into EVERY room of your home? Can He feel comfortable in your home? Is your home His resting place?

The more God fills your home, the more it will be filled with light and all traces of darkness will scatter.

Love from Nancy

P.S. Wonderful Scripture for you to look up: Exodus 10:21-23; 25:8; 29:45-46; Leviticus 26:11-12; 1 Kings 6:12-13; 2 Chronicles 6:14; Psalm 132:13-15; Ezekiel 36:26-28; Zechariah 2:10; John 14:16-18, 23; 1 Corinthians 3:16-17; 6:19-20; 2 Corinthians 6:16-18; Galatians 2:20; Colossians 1:27 Revelation 3:20 and 21:3.

Colin and I have just returned from a funeral of a mother of some dear friends of ours. I love to hear about people's lives at funeral services. I think every funeral service should be a CELEBRATION of a person's life, don't you? A close friend of the family got up and shared how he had a LABEL on this woman. It was the label of KINDNESS. What a wonderful testimony to have over your life. This was reiterated by many others.

And the best speech of the day was little grandson Seth who got up and spoke about his grandmother. He had to be held up to look over the lectern, but he spoke with animation and boldness.

"She was so KIND to me," he said. "She was kind to everyone. She loved me and I loved her. And she loved everyone." What a great eulogy.

I wonder if people could give the testimony of the label of KINDNESS over our lives?

Love from Nancy

Are you wondering how you will get through today? You didn't get much sleep last night. You feel as though you have no energy. Dear mother, don't trust in yourself, but trust in God. HE IS YOUR STRENGTH.

It's amazing how we can be worn out and tired at the end of the day and feel our strength has finished. But, GOD COMES EACH NEW DAY TO MAKE US STRONG. He doesn't give us strength for tomorrow, for the next week, or even the next month. He gives us strength FOR TODAY!

Isaiah 33:2 says, "Lord, show us favor; we hope in you. BE OUR STRENGTH EVERY MORNING." Can you say, Amen?

That's another reason why it is important to have Morning and Evening Devotions each day as a family. We are strengthened as we come to Him in the morning, and we give praise for His strength, faithfulness, protection, and provision each evening. A Sunday service is not enough to last you through the week. You have to come to Him to receive your strength EACH NEW MORNING!

Love from Nancy

"And tho' this world, with devils filled,

   Should threaten to undo us;

We will not fear, for God hath willed

   His truth to triumph through us."

~ Martin Luther

Has someone insulted you? Ridiculed you for having more than 1.8 children per family? Sneered at you for homeschooling? Or hurt you to the core by the words they have spoken?

What do you do? Get mad? Feel sorry for yourself? Want to retaliate? Yes, that's how we often feel. But what did Jesus do? 1 Peter 2:23 NASB says that "When He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered, He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously."

The NLT says, "He did not retaliate when he was insulted, nor threaten revenge when he suffered. He left his case in the hands of God, who always judges fairly."

This is what we have to do. Leave our case in the hands of God. Don't let any insulting words disturb your spirit. Bless the people who hurt you and commit it God. You can leave in HIs hands. He will work in their hearts in His time. Our role is to keep a sweet spirit.

Love from Nancy

Childhood prepares for adulthood, and for eternity. Therefore, what a great responsibility we have as parents. We play a big part in not only preparing our children's future lives but what kind of marriage they will endure or enjoy. The parent/child relationship also prepares them for a relationship with their heavenly Father. It is often more difficult for those who have not known true love and justice from an earthly father, to understand the nature of our Heavenly Father.

I think too, that if a child does not learn to obey his or her earthly parents, they will find it more difficult to obey their Heavenly Father. Jesus said in Matthew 7:21, "Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven."

When children learn to do the will of their earthly parents (as long as it is not ungodly admonition), they practice and learn how to do will of their heavenly Father. We are not teaching our children to obey only for our benefit, but how to obey their heavenly Father. We realize how important this is for our children when we understand that it's not those who say the right words, but those who actually do the will of the Father who will enter the heavenly kingdom. And we want our children to enter God's eternal kingdom, don't we?

Love from Nancy

"He that is of God heareth God's words" (John 8:47). Are our ears tuned into the voice of our humanistic society or are they tuned into God's ways?

We may as well face it. God's ways and thoughts are higher than our ways and thoughts (Isaiah 55:7-9). They are different to the ways of man.

Let's be on guard that we do not assimilate to society around us. We don't have to escape from living in this world, but we must not be influenced by the spirit of this world.

Love from Nancy

One mother asked yesterday, "Any practical advice on fighting/antagonizing? My 3 and 5 year old boys drive me nuts some days!"

It's easy to get frustrated and start yelling, isn't it? But, have you ever tried prayer? Take your authority as a mother which God has given to you. Go up to your children who are fighting. Separate them, taking hold of both their hands firmly and PRAY!

"In the name of Jesus, I command this fighting to stop! Dear Father, I ask that you will come to my children now and fill them with your love and your peace. Take away this angry spirit, in Jesus' name. Amen."

There is nothing like the power of prayer. After you have prayed, ask them to say sorry to one another and forgive on another. If your children know you are going to PRAY every time they fight, I think they will think first!

Love from Nancy

I have been posting about training our children to have obedient ears. Another important area of child training is training our children out of bad attitudes. It is the fleshly nature to respond with a negative attitude when things are not going just the way we like them. However, if we let our children get away with pouting, putting on a glum look, "packing a sad," maintaining a bad attitude and mood, we set them up for problems in adulthood, and especially in their future marriage. The basis of these attitudes is selfishness and it is selfish attitudes that cause many marriages to fail.

I think of Ahab in 1 Kings 21 who got into a mood because he couldn't get his own way. Because Naboth would not sell his vineyard to him, he went into his house "vexed and sullen," lay down on his bed, turned his face to the wall and wouldn't eat! What a wimp! He obviously was not trained by his parents and so was still acting like a three year old in adulthood.

Deal with bad attitudes in your children immediately. Nip them in the bud! Don't allow them in your home. Of course, you will be showing a good example in your own life. They won't see you putting on "the silent treatment" of getting into a bad attitude where you can cut the atmosphere with a knife!

When raising our children, we never allowed a bad attitude or response. We dealt with it immediately and severely. Today, our children don't know how to get into a bad attitude because they were trained to have a good attitude. This blesses their marriage and therefore they all have the "best of marriages."

Love from Nancy

My brother and sister-in-law are staying with us from New Zealand. What a joy to have them with us after not seeing them for three years. I was talking to them at breakfast about ideas to train obedient ears. Judy suggested a great idea. Whisper a little secret into the ear of one of your children, such as, "Would you like an ice-cream treat at morning break?"

A little later ask, "Did you hear what I told you?" If they didn't hear, tell them they have missed out on a special treat and will have to listen better next time. You can ask a different question next time. This gets them into the habit of having a listening ear.

Love from Nancy

After reading my post yesterday about how we as parents are EAR TRAINERS, many mothers asked for practical suggestions on how they can actually train their children to have obedient ears.

My first encouragement to you is to ask the Lord to show you. The children God has given you belong to Him and He is the One who has all the answers on how to train them. Always be seeking Him for the answers. However, here are a few suggestions, especially for when you first start training and the earlier the better.

1. Look at your child face to face when you speak to them. Make sure you have eye contact. You can't expect your child to obey you when you haven't really connected with them. This applies to older children, too. Don't call out a command from another room and expect them to obey. They may not hear you, they may be preoccupied, or in a dream. Speak face to face. Another important tip for older children is to give a clear command. Don't say, "Perhaps it would be a good idea to start doing the dishes," or "I think you should tidy your bedroom." Instead say, "Right now, I want you to begin doing the dishes." Your child needs to know you are not talking for the sake of talking!

2. After you have told your child what to do, ask her to repeat the command. For example, "Susie, I want you to pick up your toys. Now, what did Mommy say?" Ask your child to repeat.

3. Get a response. "Now, Susie, what are you going to do?" Answer: "I'm going to pick up my toys." A  response is very important. Now she has told you what she is going to do, she is going to be motivated do it. You are much more motivated to act on what you confess. When they are very young, you may have to do the command with your child, such as lead them to the toys and show them how to do it. But, remember, you are training your child to obey immediately and respond to the command you made. This trains your child how to respond to God. We fail our children when we do not teach them to respond to a command.

Now, what about older children? You didn't start training them to obey. They have disobedient ears and are out of control. Is there hope? Yes, there is always hope. I believe you should gather your children together for a family meeting and have a heart to heart talk with them. Tell them what is on your heart, but here is a suggestion to get you thinking, "Children, we've got something important to talk to you about. We want to be the very best parents for you. However, we realize that we have been failing you. God has commanded us to teach you to obey us, your parents, because this is how you learn to obey God. We haven't been faithful in helping you to do this, but we want to do things right. Can you help us? Can we all work on this together?

"This is what we'll need to do. When we ask you to do something, we will expect you to do it immediately (and you will use the same way as mentioned above). If you do not, there will have to be consequences." You can then talk together with your children about what consequences you choose and discuss it with them together so they understand and know that you are doing this for their blessing and for their walk with God.

You can also do positive things and have competitions and prizes. I enjoyed doing this with our children. When the children are learning a new way to live, you could give a star for every time they obey and have appropriate prizes at the end of the week. You can also give stars for each time your child does their chores immediately--with a cheerful heart and without complaining. Once again they receive a prize at the end of the week. And you will have many more ideas I know.

May God give you great wisdom today as you seek to train the ears of your children so they will not only be "quick" to hear and obey you, but quick to hear and obey God.

Love from Nancy

All parents are ear trainers. Our parenting determines whether our children will have obedient ears—or, disobedient ears, lazy ears, dull ears, defiant ears, resistant ears, gullible ears, or even forgetful ears.

When you ask them to do something but they take no notice of you, you are training them to have defiant ears. When you ask them to do something and they delay doing it, they have dull ears. When you ask them to do something, but they don’t bother doing it until you have asked for the sixth time (and by now you are shouting), you are training them that they do not have to obey until the sixth time! That's producing lazy ears.

What kind of ears are you training your children to have? The ears we train them to have will be what they take into adult life. The ears we train them to have is how they will listen to God.

Love from Nancy

Hebrews 11 tells us about the great men of faith. I am always inspired by Hebrews 11:34 where it says that "out of weakness were made strong, waxed valiant in the fight." Even the great warriors of faith didn't start out strong. They began in weakness, but they became stronger with each battle they fought.

Do you sometimes feel weak as you face your battles in life? Don't give up. And don't  spurn the battles, for each battle is going to make you stronger as you learn to trust the Lord to fight for you.

J. B. Phillip's says, "From being weaklings they became strong men and mighty warriors."

The Amplified version says, "Out of frailty and weakness won strength and became stalwart, even mighty and resistless in battle, routing alien hosts."

Be encouraged. Your battles will make you stronger.

Love from Nancy