Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs

5. Sympathize with her difficulties and failures rather than always lecturing her.

A lecture may be appropriate once in awhile. But, it can get hard to take when all she needs and looks for is sympathy and understanding and instead, all she gets is another lecture. No wonder many women want to be free of the home and go back to the work place.

Men, we would be wise to be more understanding, sympathetic, and consoling when our wives have had a rough day with the children.

Maybe she didn't get home in time to cook the meal you expected when you got home, but she did the family shopping. Perhaps the meal burnt. Or, she feels she has failed the Lord because she doesn't have enough time to pray. There can be a thousand and one things that place your wife under pressure, and the last thing she needs from you is another lecture that will only make her feel more negative about herself.

You are the one she wants when she needs a shoulder to cry on. Help her to knows that she can get all she needs right in her own home.

Be encouraged. Colin

4. Take time each day to talk to your wife and listen to her.

A woman needs a husband she can talk to. I think most women like to talk to their husbands, especially about the things that interest her. The danger of the "work place" is that there is always more than enough men who are willing to chat up someone else's wife, and yet they are not willing to take the time to listen to their own wife. Shame on them!

Remember this, men. While you are working with adults with whom you can have a mature conversation, your wife willingly sacrifices all that in order to raise and train your children, in all their immaturities.

When you come home each evening, take the time to engage your wife in loving conversation. Be patient and take the time to listen to what she is interested in. Take the time to hear her out, even if you are itching to get on with your own interests.

I think a lot of men are like myself and struggle with impatience, which is immaturity. Your wife deserves to daily have some of your undivided attention. She certainly deserves it.

Be encouraged. Colin

3. Show gratefulness for all the menial tasks your wife performs in the home.

I believe it would be most difficult for a woman who receives complements from the workforce to come home to educate the children, perform all the menial tasks of homemaking, receive no payment or money, and then not even any gratefulness or complements from her husband.

Everyone needs encouragement and home-making mothers who are diligently raising the next generation need it most.

The enemy of the home makes sure that working women are praised in the work place, the media, and also the church where unthinking pastors, whose wives are out of the home, make sure the corporate woman is praised.

But, God sees the mother at home who sacrifices her life to raise the nation's future leaders. These are women who believe that God did not give them their children to be raised in day care systems or unruly state schools, but rather in the home. As the mother lovingly cares for their children, God praises her the most (Proverbs 31:28-31). So should you!

Be encouraged. Colin

2. Beware of being a control freak.

While I believe God has made the husband to be the head of his family, including his wife, he would be wise to refrain from over-lording and heavy-demanding ways. A husband's headship is best displayed in loving leadership, 1 Corinthians 13:5 says, "Love seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil."

A dominating and over-powering husband who micro-manages his wife so she cannot make any decisions on her own, or even go anywhere without his approval, will drive his wife not only out of the home, but also out of the marriage.

The best husbands are the easy going ones who are not overly anxious about everything. It is their pleasure to see their wife free, contented, and happy.

Overbearing husbands who stifle every initiative their wife brings up will find it difficult to keep them at home, let alone contented at home.

Be encouraged. Colin

1. Do not oppose her personal desires on how she wants to make her home a place where she will feel contented.

Rather than opposing your wife, you should encourage her opinions on how she wants the decor, the pictures on the wall, or the arrangement of the furniture. Remember, she lives in the house much more than you do. You should pitch in and help her with what she suggests to make it happen. Many women could possibly be tempted to go back to the corporate world if they feel they are deprived of having their nest the way that makes them feel comfortable.

Remember, just as you want an occupation you can be contented with, so your wife should have her home the way she feels it should be.

I am not talking about yielding to her demands to live in a mansion or spend beyond the budget. At least, let her make the most of what she's got, whether the home be below average, average, or above average.

I know there is a balance to all this and the wife should also consider her husband's opinions.

Be encouraged to seek your wife's happiness and contentment.

Colin

Because so many women are encouraged to leave their home, I thought I would write some practical points to not only encourage women back into the home, but to help them to feel glad and contented to be at home.

What is a home without a mother in it? It is nothing but an empty shell. It is sterile. It has no atmosphere. When mother is not in the home the children, of necessity, will be elsewhere, but not with their mother.

The home needs a mother and true mothers need homes. Homes and mothers are synonymous terms.

Some women have taken the plunge to come home, but have found it difficult because of negative pressures. A husband who does not have strong convictions on this subject is one of the main culprits. Even if he does have strong convictions, but does not know how to encourage his wife to be happy at home, he can easily loose his wife back to the corporate world.

Tomorrow, I will begin a list of practical suggestions for men on how to bring this encouragement to their wives.

Be encouraged. Colin

All sin, including adultery, theft, homosexuality and murder, etc., must be repented of (1 Corinthians 6:9-11). To know all Scripture without the power and love of the Holy Spirit leads to death. To have all Spirit without a good knowledge of the Scripture can lead to error and also to death.

Men, there is a balance in all Scripture. All Christians should seek the Lord to keep them in the place of balance. I recently watched a DVD which showed the different approaches to winning the lost. One was to stand up in the middle of “red light” areas of our inner cities and hold up signs with Scriptures condemning sin and calling people to repent (somewhat pharisaical). The others reached out with arms of love without any reference to repentance.

I favor the second approach above the first. However, the true gospel or “good news” is what Peter stated to the crowd that gathered at Pentecost whose hearts had been pricked by Peter’s preaching. “Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized everyone of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost” (Acts 2:38).

Paul’s preaching to the Athenians was “And the times of this ignorance God winked at; but now commandeth all men everywhere to repent: because He hath appointed a day, in the which He will judge the world in righteousness by that man whom He hath ordained” (Acts 17:30-31).

I believe there is a difference between love and acceptance.

The truth is that God loves sinners.

The truth is also that God accepts sinners into His family based on repentance. Believing in Jesus implies repentance (John 3: 6-21).

May God help us to walk in discernment (Malachi 3:18).

Be encouraged. Colin

It's easy to stand up when everyone else around you is standing up, but God bless the man whose convictions are strong enough to stand up when no one else has what it takes to stand.

The "last days" will be known as days of great deception, wars and rumors of wars, nations rising up against nations, famines, pestilences, earthquakes, offences, betrayers, haters, and the love of many waxing cold (Matthew 24:4-12). Having spoken of these things, Jesus said, "But he that shall endure unto the end, the same shall be saved" (Matthew 24:13).

Unless we have within us what it takes to endure and keep standing up when all others are falling, we also will fail. It will take solid doses of God's Word and serious times in daily prayer in order to survive "the end times" Jesus spoke about.

The casual, half-hearted, luke-warm attitude that is so prevalent in today's Christianity does not contain the stickability, the endurance, and the backbone that will endure the tough times we could well face in the near future.

God is calling for strong family altars, where gathered around the family table, we earnestly read the Scriptures and call upon God who alone can save us.

Men, don't wait! There is no time to delay.

Start today to apply the principles that will produce endurance.

"Wherefore take unto you the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to withstand (stand against, oppose, resist) in the evil day, and having done all, to stand"(Ephesians 6:13).

Be encouraged. Colin

Do the conservatives, Tea Partiers, and Republicans have the fortitude to stand up for what they really believe about abortion, especially when they do not want to offend women in this election?

The big question right now in the Republican party is whether abortion is legitimate in cases of rape. Our president, in order to score points among women voters, is weighing in as the great advocate for women's rights declaring that "Rape is rape." He goes on to say that because rape is evil, abortion is the right of women and they should chose what should be done.

He does not say, "Abortion is abortion" and that it is also an evil. He has no fear of God on this subject. He believes that the innocent baby in the womb should be murdered. If the little innocent baby happens to be a girl, he certainly does not represent the rights of women.

I personally know of a very beautiful girl who is the consequence of rape and I am sure there are countless others who had mothers who feared God enough to go through such a pregnancy.

I personally believe that Representative Todd Akin of Missouri should stand his ground and let the chips fall where they fall. The fear of God knows no compromise, not even at election time. Of course, we must not be judgmental or condemning toward any victim of rape, but two wrongs do not make a right.

This country has offended God greatly and abortion is one of our greatest offences.

The question comes down to this: do we risk offending God more than we risk fearing women voters, especially at elections.

I believe that this country needs God on our side more than ever.

Be encouraged. Colin

WILL BE KNOWN AS THE GENERATION THAT STOOD UP AND FOUGHT FOR OUT COUNTRY?

Men, what do we do when we have a government that openly supports the homosexual agenda and abortion rights, promotes an extreme left wing socialist/communist agenda, and is opposed to Israel?

Answer? Throw it out!

Who could have believed that this would happen to this great nation? We are dreaming and in a serious state or denial if we think otherwise. Realizing the seriousness of this hour, we must not shrug our shoulders in disgust and resign ourselves to fate. This is irresponsible. We must act as real men of God and stand up and resist evil wherever it rears itself, whether it be in our own lives, our family, churches, the market place, or government.

We must always be "the salt of the earth" and "the light of the world."

Do we want to be known as the Christian generation that failed God in this end time hour? Or, do we want to be remembered as the generation that stood up and valiantly fought in the battle?

To refuse to vote against the evils our present government supports, while still having this privilege, is paramount to being an accessory or accomplice to the evil.

Some people think this country deserves the judgment of God, so what's the point of resisting it? However, by virtue of its nature, light always resists darkness, whether it is deserved or not. Salt, by virtue of its nature, always resists corruption.

As men belonging to the army of God, arise and pray, resist evil, vote for what is better for our children and grandchildren. The alternative for our present government may be far from perfect, but at least it is better!

Be encouraged. Colin

Should we purchase products from companies that openly support the homosexual agenda?

We know that homosexuals lifestyles are contrary to nature (the way God created us) and that this sin is given a special name in Scripture, namely, “an abomination” (Leviticus 18:22). Cohabitation in this perverse way leads to the destruction of cities (Genesis 19).

We also know that homosexuality does nothing to stabilize a population, let alone increase it. Even if homosexual couples adopt children, these children will be encouraged to become or accept homosexuality just by growing up in the environment of this unnatural lifestyle.

These people believe that when we take a stand against their sin that we hate them. This is not the case. Can we not love them to Jesus who is able to deliver them from this sin?

I cannot for the life of me understand why companies would want to give their money to the homosexual agenda. They are simply mocking God who created them and gave them the power to get wealth. They will be speechless on Judgment Day.

Whatever company openly supports the homosexual agenda does not in any way deserve our support. If it is at all possible, refuse them your business, so you will not be guilty of complicity.

Be encouraged. Colin

With all my heart I believe that it is time for good men to stand up and resist the evil that is overwhelming our nation, whether it is abortion, pornography, homosexuality or any other form of evil that is trying to ruin our great country and bring it into judgment.

One of the many ways to stand up and resist evil is to fight it in prayer. We must learn how to bind the powers of darkness through prayers of agreement (Matthew 18:18-20). Through prayer we can assault and attack the strongholds of the enemy and render them useless.

1 Corinthians 10:4 says, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds.” These weapons find their greatest effectiveness through prayer.

Isaiah 62:6-7 says, “I have set watchmen upon thy walls, O Jerusalem, which shall never hold their peace day nor night: ye that make mention of the Lord, keep not silence. And give him no rest, till he establish, and till he make Jerusalem a praise in the earth.” Not only does Jerusalem need our constant prayers, but also our own country and cities. God also sets watchmen (prayer warriors) on the walls of our needy cities.

This country needs our prayers more than ever. In your daily Family Devotions, pray that all these evils will come crashing down. Remember, we are commanded from the Lord of hosts to pray for the place where we live (Jeremiah 29:7).

Be encouraged. Colin

We must ask this question. Should homosexuality and all types of perverts feel comfortable around the followers of Jesus Christ? I think not. They should feel our love, but they should also feel convicted.

I need to make a clarification to yesterday’s post. I wrote, “To know all Scripture without the power and love of the Holy Spirit leads to death (“The letter killeth, but the spirit giveth life” 2 Corinthians 3:6). To have all spirit without a good knowledge of the Scripture can lead to error and also to death.” “To have all spirit” should be changed to “to have all love.”

Reaching out to homosexuals and all types of perverts with arms of love, without a clear and loving call for them to repent and receive Jesus’ forgiveness, is not the full gospel. I have seen homosexuals get up and walk out of church services because they were offended at the preacher’s loving, but negative comment, regarding their sin.

Another question we must ask. Should not preaching the gospel truth convict people of their sin and their need of forgiveness? I believe it should.

I am sorry to offend. However, homosexuals should not in any way expect true Christians to accept their lifestyle as normal. No way!

Be encouraged. Colin

How can we expect congregations to stand up against sin if their pastors and leaders keep their mouths shut? If God speaks out, should not we? I believe that no pastor is worth his salt (or his salary), nor is he worth listening to, if he does not have the conviction and courage to stand up in this hour, and in the spirit of grace and truth, exhort and urge his congregation to take their stand against the sin of homosexuality.

I am not saying, in any way, that pastors and church leaders should be unloving towards any sinners, including homosexuals. Christ died for all sinners and is ever willing to forgive all who are willing to repent. In the same way, all Christ's ministers should lovingly preach to encourage repentance.

I do not believe that anyone was born a homosexual, for that would place the blame on God, and as I mentioned in my first article on this subject, God destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah for this sin (Genesis 19).

He also stated clearly in Leviticus 18:22, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is an abomination.”

President Obama, along with most liberals, state educators, the media, and many church leaders want us to believe that homosexuality is not a sin and that it is normal. These people are not God, nor do they fear God.

Ezekiel 3:18 says, “When I say unto the wicked, Thou shalt surely die: and thou givest him not warning, nor speakest to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to SAVE HIS LIFE; the same wicked man shall die in his iniquity.”

Be encouraged to speak out. Colin

Stand up for the sanctity of marriage now or it will be too late.

Psalm 94:16 says, “Who will rise up for me against the evildoers? Or who will stand up for me against the workers of iniquity?

I must confess that I really enjoy going to Starbucks. However, now that Starbucks have come out in support of the homosexual agenda and have given their approval of homosexual marriage, Starbucks will not get another dime out of me! It is a small sacrifice to make. But, until Starbucks release their support for homosexuals, I will not enter their doorway again!

Homosexuals have always been far too brazen about their lifestyle. In 2 Kings chapter 23 it speaks of the revival of eradicating evil that King Josiah initiated during his reign in Judah. Verse 7 says, “And he broke down the houses of the sodomites, that were by the house of the Lord.” What audacity the sodomites of that day had in building their houses and performing their unholy practices right next to the holy temple of the Lord!

They continue to shout and parade their unnatural lifestyle before all, without any sense of shame, hoping everyone will accept their behavior as normal. I for one will never accept such behavior as normal. Even our male anatomy is clearly not designed to behave this way. Our bodies declare that God our Creator does not intend them to be used against His natural design.

Be encouraged to take your stand. Colin

Conservative America has spoken. We are sick and tired of gay bashing. Do not expect us in any way to comply with your gay agenda. Period.

Thank God for people who are prepared to stand up and speak out on issues about which they feel deeply, even at the risk of hurting other people’s feelings. Should the doctor not inform his patient that he or she has cancer and needs urgent treatment just because he may hurt the patient’s feelings? The answer goes without saying.

All Christians who take their Bible seriously and who have a deep desire to not offend the holiness of God should know what the Bible has to say about homosexuality. It is serious sin.

We cannot argue that the passages outlined in the Bible regarding this sin do not apply to us today.

Read Genesis 19 of the account of the destruction of Sodom and Gomorrah.

Leviticus 18:22, “Thou shalt not lie with mankind as with womankind: it is abomination.” The word “abomination” is a strong word and implies that homosexuality is a serious offence to God.

Read also Deuteronomy 23:17-18; 1 Kings 15:1; 22:46; 2 Kings 23:7 and Romans 1:26-27.

Jesus Christ taught us to love our fellowmen, but He most certainly did not teach us to compromise on moral issues in order to show love. We all know what Jesus did when He cleansed the temple. We should love our fallen fellowmen in a way that would encourage them to repent and find the mercy and forgiveness God is so willing to give.

Be encouraged to take your stand. Colin

A SMILING HUSBAND, Part 3

Men, not only should we smile at our wives a lot, but we should also smile at our children a lot. When we hold back smiles, we hold back the light. Light shines best through smiles that come from a pure heart. A smiling husband and father is far better to live with than a straight-faced, grim sober-side.

Men, even though life is filled with many difficulties and stresses that can easily take the smile of our face, I do believe that smiles can minimize the negative effects of these pressures. Smiling not only helps you feel better, but also helps others around you feel better.

I have known people who become aggravated over people who are always smiling. I think these people are most unfortunate and need to loosen up. We are blessed when we smile at our own mistakes and shortcomings. We should also smile at our wife and children’s faults and failures.

The priests of Israel blessed the people by saying, “The Lord bless thee, and keep thee: The Lord make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee: The Lord lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace” (Numbers 6:24-26). Can you possibly imagine God giving all this blessing without smiling? I think not!

Be encouraged. Colin

Are you smiling at your wife?

“Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.”

“Smiles are the language of love.”

“They gave each other a smile with a future.”

It is true that it doesn’t cost much to smile. However, the cost of negative feelings, as well as the price, is evidently too much to pay. I could not help notice while watching the Olympics the vast difference between the cultures when it comes to smiling. Some athletes looked sad even before they participated in their event. It almost made me want to cry for them.

True Christianity, irrespective of the circumstances, is and should always be “joy unspeakable and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:8).

True holiness has absolutely nothing to do with keeping a straight face. Of course, I am not suggesting that smiling is appropriate during discipline and repentance. It would convey a false message for a wife or husband to smile at their spouse while the spouse is committing adultery or porn.

Who wants a Christianity that has no power to even put a smile on one’s face—not the world, and certainly, not God.

Be encouraged to smile more. Colin

Men, do you smile at your wives? If not, why not?

Here are some quotes…

“All people smile in the same language.”

“A smile is a light in the window indicating that the heart is home.”

“A smile is God’s cosmetic.”

“Learn to greet your friends with a smile; they carry too many frowns in their hearts to be bothered with yours.” ~ Mary Ayer.

My wife recently wrote a post on the Above Rubies Facebook encouraging wives to smile at their husbands. She was grieved to receive so many negative responses of wives who shared that even smiling at their husbands made no difference to them. They were still so difficult to live with and many had give up hope. And these were “Christian women.” This reveals how deep and difficult the problems in even Christian marriages.

I hate to think that I would be such a bad husband that my wife would find it difficult to smile at me. How we need a revival that will bring healing love, and yes—smiles, back into our marriages. How hard-hearted have we become when we cannot freely smile at each other? How hurt we must be that we cannot even smile.

Be encouraged to smile more at your wife. Colin

The last principle regarding Family Devotions is to exercise cheerful discipline regarding Family Devotions. Fathers must exercise discipline to keep up this habit otherwise the enemy will quickly snatch it away from them. The weakening of the family begins as a result of missed Family Devotions to God, who alone gives us all our daily needs.

I am not saying we should feel condemned if for some valid reason we occasionally miss our devotions. That would be legalism. God honors the willing spirit.

2 Corinthians 8:12 says, “If there be first a willing mind.”

2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.”

Psalm 40:8 says, “I delight to do thy will, O my God: yea, thy law is within my heart.”

The above Scriptures make it abundantly clear that Christianity that pleases God is not based on legalistic discipline, but rather the disciplines that are motivated from a cheerful heart that delights to do God’s will. Jesus recognized this problem with his disciples when he said regarding the discipline of prayer, “The spirit is indeed willing, but the flesh is weak” (Matthew 26:41).

We cannot wait for the flesh to be willing. As long as the spirit is willing we can go ahead and be disciplined to do Family Devotions.

Be encouraged. Colin