Above Rubies Daily Encouragement Blogs

We continue talking about the family meal table. One mother wrote: “I spend most of my meal correcting and giving reminders of appropriate manners/behavior.” Yes, I agree that this is part of training at the meal table. Necessary training. However, when we engage them in conversation and discuss topics together, the children become more involved and forget about doing all their antics at the table.

Another mother of teenagers down to a two-year-old wrote: “Getting everyone to help is hard and frustrating.” This shouldn’t be the case when you have older children. They should be trained by now! The teenagers should know how to run the home, including cooking the meal and cleaning up. If they are not capable of doing this, what have we been doing all their lives? Even little children can learn how to help with the meal, set the table, clean up, and help with dishes. Each one should have their own job.

You start training them when they are little. You expect obedience. You don’t allow them to get away with doing their own thing when there is a job to be done. If you let them get away with it when they are little, they will never get in the habit.

It’s a good idea to work out a timetable for the evening meal and other jobs in the home each week. Decide the task of each child and put it up on the fridge or somewhere and each child is responsible for their chore. Your job is to make sure they do it. But it shouldn’t have to be cajoling and reminding. No. Get excited. Do you part and encourage everyone to be excited about doing their part as you all work together! Work is fun! Work is great. It’s family time! You are all doing it together.

I remember when our granddaughter, Rashida was younger. She is now a mother of two precious little girls. Every year my father came to visit us from New Zealand (he has since passed away). Each year Rashida would a cook a special meal for her beloved great-granddad.

She was only seven years old when she prepared this feast—roast turkey with coos coos stuffing (including sundried tomatoes, cashews, pine nuts, figs, and raisins); marinated grape leaves stuffed with lebani, placed in a bowl with figs, dates, and black and green olives; mashed potatoes and gravy; salad with homemade dressings (almondaise and Green Greek dressing) and tamarind date chutney. Yes, she made dessert too--ginger steamed pudding and raw nut balls!

From that age Rashida was in charge of the kitchen for their family. I think your seven-year-old can at least help with dishes!

Another mother wrote: “I am always left drowning in dishes while everyone scatters afterwards.” This should never happen. All children should be trained to clean up the table and do the dishes. No one in the family should ever leave the kitchen until everything is cleaned and finished. It is all part of the family meal time. It doesn’t finish until dishes are completed. No one escapes! Or look out!

Be encouraged dear mothers. Can I say it again, you create your world. You can have what you want. You train. You make it happen.

Love to you today,

Nancy Campbell

Painting by Jessie Willcox Smith

Dear Ladies, Today I would like to address comments from my last post, CHAOS OR ORDER AT THE TABLE. Scroll down and read it if you haven’t already.

I was sad to read that many do not enjoy mealtimes with their families. They feel they are chaotic and everyone talks over the top of one another.

One mother of teenagers down to little ones writes: “The children have weird conversations with each other and my husband I often just tune it out.” And there were similar comments. Dear mothers, can I remind you that you and your husband decide what happens at your table. Not the children! We as parents create the world we want in our home. We create the atmosphere. We determine what happens at the family meal table.

When I prepare the food for our evening meal, I not only think about food for the body, but food for the soul. I find it is just as important to meditate about what we will speak about at the table as prepare the meal. I find that if my husband and I do not bring a question or a subject to discuss to the table the conversation goes nowhere. It’s usually about nothing. Or small talk that is a waste of time. It seems futile. Is that what you find at your table?

You can change that! Come to the table prepared with a subject to talk about. Of course, this will depend on the season and ages of your children. If you have little children, bring a very simple question such as “What was the best thing you did today?” Encourage each child to share and then Daddy and Mommy must also talk about the best thing that happened to them. It’s for the whole family.

As your children get older you can bring subjects to the table to discuss—fun topics, political, geographical, spiritual, or biblical. Here’s one that our children loved when growing up. We often asked this question as they never tired of it: “If you were given a million dollars, what would you do with it?” Or, “If you had all the money in the world and you could go to any country in the world, which country would you choose and why?”

Get every child to have their turn, including mother and father. No one is exempt. No one is left out. Even in the midst of a large corporate family, each child receives their own personal attention. When each child has their turn, they are the center of attention, from mother and father and the rest of the family. They hold the floor!

Also, in this way, no one talks over the top of one another. Each one has their turn. Oh yes, they may try to do this, but both you and your husband will curb this and keep order. You are in charge, not them!

Sometimes when we would bring a controversial subject to the table, the children would all try to have their say at once, sometimes getting up on their chair to get their point across. We birthed loud and opinionated children who became more opinionated the older they got! However, we still didn’t allow them to take over. We allowed them to freely express their opinions, which we loved them to do, but they had to have turns! My husband was always the umpire!

Here’s another important thing to remember at your table. My husband and I have never allowed personal conversations with other members of the family at the table. The table is for togetherness. When one member speaks at the table, it is for the whole family to hear. It is time for family communication, not personal conversation which they can have at any time. Therefore, apart from asking someone to pass something to them on the table, all conversations are for everyone to hear. Sometimes we have people come to our table who will begin to whisper or talk to the person next to them. It grieves me when this happens, and I realize they haven’t been taught true table manners. Establish this rule in your family. It will save chaos at your table and you will train your children how to act when they sit at other’s people’s tables.

I will give you a couple of links of questions you can ask the children at your table. I keep a copy of these lists above my fridge. Sometimes when I am tired and cannot think of something new, I will refer to them, so we always have something to bring to the table to keep the conversation spicy and encourage heart and soul communication.

http://aboverubies.org/…/797-family-meal-table-dinner-time-…

http://aboverubies.org/…/798-family-meal-table-presidential…

This is what the table is all about—communication and fellowship. That’s why we sit around a table, so we can look a one another’s faces. Food releases the wonderful stress-relieving hormone of oxytocin when you eat with others in a relaxed atmosphere. It doesn’t do you any good when you eat on your own or while looking at the back of someone’s head in the car! Do it the Bible way—sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3).

I will address other remarks tomorrow.

Be blessed at your table today,
Nancy Campbell

Painting: “Glory of Evening” by Thomas Kinkade. God intends the evening meal to be a time of glory in your home, a time when you all enjoy one another and where God comes to join your table with His presence.

Dear mother, you are the one to make this happen. You don’t allow everyone to do their own thing. You gather the family together. You make the table and your meal so attractive and inviting that they’ll want to come to the table.

You’ll think of subjects to discuss with your children at the table rather than sitting there with small talk that doesn’t interest anyone. And of course, you’ll never allow iPhones at the table! Have a basket where they drop them in as they come to the table. The table is the place to communicate together as a family. To look at one another face to face.

Why am I talking about the family table again? Because it is a gathering place for the family. God planned it. The Bible picture of a family that that lives in God’s blessing is a family with the children all sitting around the table (Psalm 128:3). God loves the table because it is a place of communication. He wants to join you at your table. He wants to speak to you all as you open His Word at the end of the meal.

Dear mother, can I encourage you to make family times happen in your home? Don’t let your family dissipate into their own world and the world of social media while your family fragments away.

When you plan and make things happen, it brings order. It establishes peace and harmony and drives out chaos.

Satan does not want family togetherness. He is intent on scattering the family in every direction. You must fight against every hindrance. You must push through and make it happen. But what blessed things will happen when you do.

When we get order and peace in family homes, we will begin to get order and peace in the nation.

I bless your home today in the name of Jesus.

Love from Nancy Campbell

P.S. Do you need help? Do you need specific ideas on what to do? Feel free to ask questions and we can answer them together.

The enemy is lurking
To steal our time away;
Doing nice, but fleeting things
That soon will fade away.
Even in these mundane times,
Help me teach them how to find
A way to see that all they do
Will only count if done for You.

The moments, months, and years fly by
Until each child will say goodbye.
I dare not waste these times to show
What really matters as they grow.
Oh Lord, please point their eyes to You
And help me teach them of Your truth.
More than any other thing
Let lives be lived for You, O King.

I know I only have this day
To teach and guide them in Your way.
So, help me with the time You give
To show them how to really live,
Not chasing vain and worldly lusts,
But learning how to seek and trust
Their only Savior, Lord, and King,
For in You is their everything.

C 2010, Val Halloran
www.valhalloran.com
Val and her husband have eight children, five of whom are married. No. #26 grandchild is due in March or April, 2018.

Painting: “The reading lesson” by Léon Augustin Lhermitte.

We see an example in the life of King Ahab. Ben-Hadad, king of Syria sent messengers to king Ahab of Israel: “Thy silver and thy gold is mine; thy wives also and thy children, even the goodliest, are mine.” And what did king Ahab answer? “My lord, O king, according to thy saying, I am thine, and all that I have.” He even stated: “I denied him not” (1 Kings 20: 2, 3, 7). Can you believe it? Because of the fear of man, or because he didn’t have the courage to stand up against king Ben-Hadad, he surrendered to him. He gave up everything that was precious to him.

How sad to read such a testimony? And yet we can so easily get caught. God gives us our children to raise for Him and for God’s destiny. And yet we give them to daycares and hand them over to the state education system. Somehow, even Christian parents don’t mind that their children are now being taught that Islam is a peaceful religion (while we watch Islamic terror on TV).

Many children in state schools have been asked to draw posters of the Five Pillars of Islam and pictures of the Prophet Muhammad, sing Islamic songs, wear Islamic clothes, construct a 3-D model of a mosque, design an Islamic prayer rug, and do calligraphy for “There is no God but Allah and Mohammed is His prophet.” Yes, this is in American schools.

Some parents don’t seem to mind that the gay agenda now pushes their lifestyle in our state schools through books and curriculums. One of their latest books available to schools is “It’s Perfectly Normal” which contains material so sexually explicit that, according to the American Life League, it has been ruled inappropriate for prisoners by a Washington State court.

Let’s not give in like Ahab. Let’s have the courage to rise up and say No to the enemy! Say No to his robbing of all that God has given us.

Speak your confession out loud: “I will not give anything to the devil. He has no right over me. I am God’s possession. He has no right over my children and I will not give him any authority over them. They too are God’s possession.”

It’s time to say No.

Blessings to you today,

Nancy Campbell

Dear mother, God wants you to walk in close fellowship with Him as you mother your children. You are not doing this great job on your own. God is with you. Every moment. When you are doing the most mundane tasks. When you are doing the same tasks repeatedly each day. Not one chore is insignificant. Each one is sacred because He is with you and abides in you.

But sometimes you forget. Remember the truth, no matter how you feel. God is with you. He is Emmanuel, GOD WITH US! Your feelings are not facts. They come and go and change with the wind, or whatever is happening in your life. But the real truth is that whatever is happening, good or bad, GOD IS WITH YOU!

Acknowledge His presence with you. Thank Him that He is with you. Thank Him that you are in His perfect will as you mother your children. Rejoice that He is with you. Thank Him for every little blessing that happens—a smile from one of your children, the adoring look of your baby as you nurse him at the breast, food to prepare for lunch and supper, your husband who provides for you, and on and on. Bring every little sigh to Him. Don’t take one burden on yourself because He is with you to carry your burdens and He is so much better at it that you. He is bigger than every problem you face.

And He delights to be with you in your home. He created you for the home. He created you for motherhood. And He delights in you when you embrace the way He created you. This is how you bring glory to your Creator and Redeemer.

Every son and daughter God gives you is a gift from Him. You didn’t plan each child. God did. And He is with you to help you raise them for His glory. He wants to walk with you and He wants you to walk with Him in close relationship just like Enoch did, all the time begetting and raising sons and daughters.

Be encouraged today,

Nancy Campbell

This beautiful painting is by William Sergeant Kendall.

Last week we talked about nesting in the home. But we must look at something more in Psalm 113:9 which describes the mother as JOYFUL. Did you know that God equates motherhood with joy? And it’s not an average kind of joy. It’s exceeding joy.

The Hebrew word is “sameach.” It means “to be blithe and gleeful, to be merry-hearted.” It’s the same word used in Proverbs 14:13: “A MERRY HEART maketh a cheerful countenance.” And again, in Proverbs 17:22: “A MERRY HEART doeth good like a medicine.”

But there’s more. It’s the same word that is used when people drink wine and get happy (Isaiah 14:7). When you are “eating and drinking, and making merry” (1 Kings 4:20). It’s the same word that was used when Solomon was made king and the people “rejoiced with GREAT JOY, so that the earth rent with the sound of them" (1 Kings 1:40). Did you get that? The HCSB makes it clearer: “rejoicing with such a great joy that the earth split open from the sound.”

This the joy of motherhood! “This is a bit over-the-top” you exclaim! Dear mothers, it’s meant to be over-the-top! God is not average or ordinary in any way. He doesn’t only give us life, He gives us ABUNDANT life. He not only gives us joy, but EXCEEDING joy and “JOY UNSPEAKABLE and FULL OF GLORY” (1 Peter 1:8).

So, why aren’t mothers joyful? Unfortunately, most women are brainwashed against motherhood by in-laws, out-laws, the media, and the education system. They are told that motherhood is an insignificant career and they should be doing something more beneficial. Because of this they have the wrong attitude about motherhood, and if you have the wrong attitude, you’re not going to be very happy.

The truth is that God created you for motherhood. Your body is created for this purpose. When God gives you children to raise in your home you are in the very perfect will of God. God does not see motherhood as insignificant. He exalts motherhood (Ezekiel 19:10,11), He glorifies motherhood (Hosea 9:11), and He enthrones motherhood (Psalm 113:9 Sugden).

How do we get into the joy?
1. Embrace the truth. When you know the truth, it sets you free to be who you are!
2. Acknowledge that you are in His perfect will.
3. Confess the truth. It’s not enough to know the truth, you must confess the truth. Your words determine your life. What you speak is what you become. Therefore, Therefore, thank God for the joy of being a mother. Speak out loud: “I am a joyful mother,” “I love being a mother,” or “Motherhood is my greatest career.”
4. Change your attitude. Your words and your attitude affect your life. The wrong attitude makes you miserable. The right attitude fills you with joy.
5. Purpose to be joyful. Joy has nothing to do with feelings or circumstances. Anyone can be happy when everything is going according to plan. But life isn’t like that. It’s full of challenges and difficulties which must be overcome. But this is how we mature in life. This is how we become one of the overcomers! Jesus Christ is filled with joy and He dwells in you if you have embraced Him into your life. Therefore, you can live His life of joy, no matter what circumstances you face or what your lying feelings are telling you. Come to the place of living by the truth rather than by your feelings or the lies that society tells you.

May you have the most wonderful and joyful day in your home,

Love from Nancy Campbell

I love the CEB translation of this Scripture: “God NESTS the once barren woman at home—now a joyful mother of children.” To nest in a home means to settle in. To make a snug abode, a sweet resting place. A nest is a place to rear young such as a bird with her nestlings. Why are baby birds called nestlings? Because the mother nurtures them in a nest where it is safe and secure.

Our babies and young children are also little nestlings. God intends them to be nurtured in the home, not in daycares. And therefore, we make our home a safe nest.

We cannot be a nester if we are not in the home. We work in our home. We mother in our home. We nurture in our home. We love our nest.

Did you notice that this Scripture ends with the exclamation, “Praise ye the Lord”? What is your response to nesting in the home? A sigh and a groan or the bold exclamation, “Praise ye the Lord”?

Can I hear you say it aloud? Come on, say it with me, “Praise ye the Lord.”

Have a blessed day in your home today,
Nancy Campbell

However, in this passage God had to use might to get the people back to their homes. Hosea 11:10, 11 says: “He will roar like a lion: when he roars his children shall come trembling from the west, they shall come trembling like birds from Egypt and like doves from the land of Assyria, and I will RETURN them to their homes, declares the LORD.” I hope God doesn’t have to ROAR to get our attention to draw us back!

We get a little more understanding how God feels about this when we read Micah 2:9: “The women of my people have ye cast out from their pleasant houses; from their children have ye taken away my glory forever.” God was angry because the women were forced from their homes. Is God angry at the voices of humanism and feminism which coerce and draw women out of their homes where God has placed them? God called them “pleasant” homes. The word means “delightful.”

However, God was not only angry that the mothers were taken from their homes. He was angry because the children were taken from their homes! God calls the inheritance of children being raised in the home “my glory.” We better tread carefully about what we do with what God calls His “glory.”

The HCSB translation says: “You take my blessing from their children forever.”

AMP: “You take away my splendor and blessing forever (by putting them among pagans, away from Me.)” Wow, those are powerful words. God says that when children are taken out of the home to be cared for by pagans who don’t love and worship Him that they are taken away from Him. He wants children to be raised in His presence, in His truth, in the sacred atmosphere in the home of godly parents. How much do we revere God’s Word? I feel the fear of God in my heart when I read these words.

NLT: “And forever stripped their children of all that God would give them.”

NET: “You defraud their children of their prized inheritance.” God says it is children’s inheritance to be raised in the home.

May you and your precious children be blessed with all the blessings of God in your home today.

More to come.

Love from Nancy Campbell

Painting: “The Family Album” by Charles Edouard Frere.

In Hosea 11:11 God uses the word “yashab” and says: “I will settle them in their own homes, declares the LORD.” Are you settled and nestled?

The KNOX translation says: “In in their own home, the Lord says, I will give them rest.” Are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you running ragged? Too much to do? God always has the answer. Stop running around so much. Come back home. In your own home God gives you rest.

It’s not only we who get tense and stressed out. Our children do too. When we hustle them around to go to this place and that they also get restless and upset. Did you notice one of the meanings of “yashab” is to “sit down.” Even in the home we can be so busy running around that we don’t take time to SIT DOWN with our children.

Children need mothers to SIT DOWN! When your little ones get out of control, instead of screaming and feeling you are going crazy, stop what you are doing and say, “Come, let’s sit on the sofa and have a story.” Grab your baby to nurse and gather your little ones all around you and read some stories to them until they are all relaxed and settled. They will then be ready to play happily again. I did this many times a day. There’s nothing like sitting down with your little ones to bring peace and calm. And you become calm in the process too.

Take time to sit with your older ones to talk to them too. You mother much better sitting down than running around the house doing all your own projects! Remember, you are a mother before everything else you do. This is your highest priority.

More to come tomorrow.

Love and blessings from Nancy Campbell

Photo: With my grandchildren, Shepherd, Breeze, and Haven Allison and Saber Johnson and Sargie the dog.

One mother of eight children shared that her husband is disappointed in her because she finds it difficult to keep the house in order and he feels dishonored. I am sure many find this a problem.

It is important to train your children to help. When you have eight children, you have children who are getting older and quite capable of helping in the home. When I was raising our children, the house would often get in a real mess during the day. However, before my husband came home, we would always have a clean-up. I called it the ONE, TWO, THREE.

About half an hour before Daddy came home I would stop everything we were doing and say, "It's time to clean up. Let's have a ONE, TWO, THREE." I would get all the children excited and motivated and I'd say, "ONE, TWO, THREE, LET’S GO!” We would all rush around getting rid of everything in sight! There’s supposed to be a place for each item, but if there’s not time, have a place where everything can be thrown out of site! Then, when Daddy comes in, he can walk into the place! And everything looks clean and tidy. (Don’t tell him what is behind the scenes!)

And make sure the dinner is ready for him. It shows you honor him when you have the supper ready for him when he walks in the door. And he can smell the lovely aroma of the food cooking!

Love from Nancy

“Come here” I said,
And the child cowered and wept.
“Come here,” I said—
He looked and smiled
And straight to my lap he crept.

Words may be mild and fair
And the tone may pierce like a dart;
Words may be soft as the summer air
But the tone may break my heart.

For words come from my mind
Grow by study and art—
But tone leaps from the inner self
Revealing the state of the heart.

Whether you know it or not,
Whether you mean or care,
Gentleness, kindness, love, and hate,
Envy, anger, are there.

Then, would you quarrels avoid
And peace and love rejoice?
Keep anger not only out of your words—
Keep it out of your voice.

~ Unknown

Honor your husband with your words and the way you speak to him. Honor him with the way you look at him. Honor him for this is what you are meant to do.

Does your husband sit at the head of the table? Does he have his special chair? We show our honor in little practical things, too.

Be blessed in your home today,

Nancy Campbell

Will you stand against this tide when others are crumbling?
Will you stand on God’s Word when many are stumbling?
Will you stand against sin and the devil’s deceptions?
Making no excuses or subtle exceptions?

Never be intimidated, never be fooled…
Neutralized,
Fraternized,
Mediocre-ized
Or your fire be cooled!

When there’s no justice and only confusion,
And God’s people are hiding their light in seclusion,
Will you rise up and be counted, open wide your mouth,
And proclaim God’s truth to the north and the south?

Will you be strong in the Lord and the power of His might?
Always standing up for that which is right?
Rich in discernment, wisdom never ignored,
And walking daily in the fear of the Lord?

When you are tyrannized, never cower…
Patronized,
Victimized,
Or terrorized,
Before the enemy never bow!

Will you stand the test when you are wronged and hurt?
When you are persecuted and treated like dirt?
Will you have backbone when the pressure comes on?
Or be a spineless jellyfish with purpose all gone?

Will you keep on standing if you’re the only one?
Lifting up the name of Jesus, God’s only Son?
Will you stand true now, holding on to the end?
No matter what it costs, God’s truth to defend!

Never be wimpy or crumble at the knees…
Normalized,
Traumatized,
Luke-warmized,
And the devil never appease!

~ Nancy Campbell
www.aboverubies.org