We continue talking about the family meal table. One mother wrote: “I spend most of my meal correcting and giving reminders of appropriate manners/behavior.” Yes, I agree that this is part of training at the meal table. Necessary training. However, when we engage them in conversation and discuss topics together, the children become more involved and forget about doing all their antics at the table.
Another mother of teenagers down to a two-year-old wrote: “Getting everyone to help is hard and frustrating.” This shouldn’t be the case when you have older children. They should be trained by now! The teenagers should know how to run the home, including cooking the meal and cleaning up. If they are not capable of doing this, what have we been doing all their lives? Even little children can learn how to help with the meal, set the table, clean up, and help with dishes. Each one should have their own job.
You start training them when they are little. You expect obedience. You don’t allow them to get away with doing their own thing when there is a job to be done. If you let them get away with it when they are little, they will never get in the habit.
It’s a good idea to work out a timetable for the evening meal and other jobs in the home each week. Decide the task of each child and put it up on the fridge or somewhere and each child is responsible for their chore. Your job is to make sure they do it. But it shouldn’t have to be cajoling and reminding. No. Get excited. Do you part and encourage everyone to be excited about doing their part as you all work together! Work is fun! Work is great. It’s family time! You are all doing it together.
I remember when our granddaughter, Rashida was younger. She is now a mother of two precious little girls. Every year my father came to visit us from New Zealand (he has since passed away). Each year Rashida would a cook a special meal for her beloved great-granddad.
She was only seven years old when she prepared this feast—roast turkey with coos coos stuffing (including sundried tomatoes, cashews, pine nuts, figs, and raisins); marinated grape leaves stuffed with lebani, placed in a bowl with figs, dates, and black and green olives; mashed potatoes and gravy; salad with homemade dressings (almondaise and Green Greek dressing) and tamarind date chutney. Yes, she made dessert too--ginger steamed pudding and raw nut balls!
From that age Rashida was in charge of the kitchen for their family. I think your seven-year-old can at least help with dishes!
Another mother wrote: “I am always left drowning in dishes while everyone scatters afterwards.” This should never happen. All children should be trained to clean up the table and do the dishes. No one in the family should ever leave the kitchen until everything is cleaned and finished. It is all part of the family meal time. It doesn’t finish until dishes are completed. No one escapes! Or look out!
Be encouraged dear mothers. Can I say it again, you create your world. You can have what you want. You train. You make it happen.
Love to you today,
Nancy Campbell
Painting by Jessie Willcox Smith