1. The TV is my shepherd, I shall not want.
2. It makes me lie down on the sofa: it leads me away from the
faith.
3. It destroys my soul: it leads me in the paths of sex and violence for the sponsor’s sake.
4. Yea, though I walk in the shadow of Christian responsibilities, there will be no interruption, for the TV is with me; it’s cable and remote control, they comfort me.
5. It prepares a commercial for me in the presence of my worldliness; it anoints my head with humanism and commercialism; my coveting runneth over.
6. Surely laziness and ignorance shall follow me all the days of my life: and I shall dwell in the house watching TV forever.
~ Anon