(A powerful testimony of courage and perseverance).
We arrived at the birth clinic, and my husband held me as I fearfully awaited the verdict.
“It’s too late to stop labor. Your baby will be born today,” the doctor pronounced. We began preparations to transfer to a larger hospital, and I wept. My second daughter, Grace, was born just a few hours later, weighing in at 3 lbs. 9 oz.
While my second daughter was my first actual preemie, she wasn’t the beginning of the story! I got married at age 22, starry-eyed and imagining how many children I could possibly have. I especially dreamed of holding a baby in my arms on my first anniversary. After announcing our first pregnancy, I was walking on clouds! But our joy was short-lived. Six weeks later we were saying good-bye. I was heart-broken.
As the months went by, I was pregnant again. And again I had to say good-bye. Then came the third loss. By the time I reached my first anniversary, I was expecting for the fourth time.
However, I wasn’t celebrating. Rather than celebrating my anniversary with a baby in my arms, I was in bed, bleeding, expecting a fourth loss. The first three times, my faith was strong, but this time, I hit a breaking point.
I began to question. I began to cry out to God. “Why God? Why are You doing this to me again?” I poured out my anger and frustration. I felt God had treated me unjustly. After a life of service and sacrifice, why would God do this to me?
Eventually I sobbed myself to sleep. When I awoke, I felt like there was an ultimatum. Which way would I go? Would I choose to follow God? Or would I walk away? Who was I without God? Did I want to find out?
I wrestled. I walked through the valley of the shadow of death. And you know what? God was indeed with me! He carried me through it all. In the end, I chose Christ. I decided that I would say, as Job said: “The Lord has given and the Lord has taken away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.”
I still expected to experience yet another miscarriage over the next few days. But God had mercy. He spared the life of this little one! My pregnancy continued. I loved watching my belly grow and feeling the flutters, which soon turned into kicks and flips. I was delighted!
At twenty-eight weeks, however, I realized that something was very wrong. I was soon diagnosed with preterm labor. We fought hard to keep her in, taking and doing everything the doctor recommended. Finally at 37 weeks, we had our firstborn daughter, Rosy!
My second daughter came just 11 months later. Grace was born after another battle against preterm labor, but this time it wasn’t enough. She was born at 31 weeks.
With my third daughter I spent months on bed rest again, which culminated in a six week hospital stay. I was pumped full of drugs, which were doubled in dose and then tripled. During this pregnancy, I began to question the wisdom of having more children. I wondered if it was even possible to be a good mother to the children God had already given me. I saw giving up any future children as a sacrifice of love for them.
With great sadness we scheduled a vasectomy. However, between the initial appointment and the actual surgery, God changed our hearts. With great trepidation, we canceled it and waited to see what God had in store for us!
The fourth time, I endured six months of complete bedrest and had an in-home nurse come and give me bi-weekly progesterone injections in hopes of preventing the birth that seemed imminent. The sheer quantity of drugs, plus a total of six miscarriages by this point, took a toll on me and I decided that there had to be a better way to do things. The conventional route wasn’t working.
I began researching ways to treat preterm labor naturally. I started implementing what I learned, and I was able to cut my normal bedrest in half with my fifth baby, completely naturally! I felt successful. I continued to research and learn more and with my sixth baby I only had one month of bed rest. That was a major improvement. Both of those were completely drug-free and under the care of a midwife.
I was excited with how far I had come, but I wasn’t done learning. With my seventh baby, I eliminated the preterm labor altogether and I continued on to have baby eight and nine without any preterm labor. I also never lost another baby, either. I had successfully broken the cycle!
My husband and I are now missionaries living in Cuauhtémoc, Chihuahua, Mexico. Nathan is a church planter and we work primarily with the Tarahumara people group. I stay busy homeschooling my nine children, plus being involved in the many ministry opportunities God brings us. Life is good and I am grateful that God can use my past experiences and struggles to bless others. He truly does work all things together for good.
I wrote a full length book sharing my story! I believe it would encourage you if you have walked this road of loss, or even experienced any trial. I would recommend it to any woman. I share my faith journey through the process. There were times I questioned the Lord’s sovereignty but He showed Himself faithful, and walked through this journey with me! My book, “Lessons Learned: My Journey through Pregnancy, Miscarriage and Preterm Labor” also includes my guide to treating and preventing miscarriage and preterm labor naturally.
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Missionaries in Cuauhtémoc, Chihuahua, Mexico
Family picture: Nathan and Misty Marr with their nine beautiful children: Rosy (19), Grace (18), Lizzie (15), Andy (14), Bekah (12), Ruth (10), Philip, Susy (7), and James (6).Tomorrow I am going to send out to you 11 good ideas from Misty Marr to help you have a healthy pregnancy. Be looking for it.