I read a beautiful message on Mother’s Day from a dear friend of mine, Debbie Erickson. Debbie is a mother and grandmother. She also organized the very first Above Rubies retreat in USA (held in Texas), well over 20 years ago. She wrote so beautifully of what I feel motherhood is all about it. In fact, I shared the same theme in my Mother’s Day post to you, but she wrote more movingly. Therefore, I’d love to share it with you:
“Today is Mother’s Day, a great day that the calendar marks once a year to honor mothers around our country. I think it’s a great idea. Moms need to be honored, treated well, and celebrated--and ideally, not just one day a year. We owe a lot to our moms. We certainly wouldn’t be here without them.
However, I am very keenly aware that Mother’s Day is a very painful day for many women who have longed for children of their own, but haven’t received them yet. For whatever reason--infertility, barrenness, not having found the right man yet, physical limitations, repeated miscarriages, etc., motherhood has eluded many women who desire to be mothers. And, so this can be a sad day for these women. I have had many friends who have felt this pain on Mother’s Day.
I have compassion for these women. Being a mom is a huge blessing and one of the greatest joys and privileges in my life. However, I want to put a different perspective on mothering that perhaps you have never considered before.
I truly believe that there are differences in the sexes. Beyond the obvious anatomical differences between men and women, God put in the DNA of women to be nurturers, to care for someone/something, to pour herself into someone/something to raise it up, to make it better, to help, and to love!
If you are a woman who doesn’t have a child of your own, you can still mother . . .
Yes, there I said it. You don’t have to have a child of your own to mother. So, how does that work? There are loads of examples all around us! Mother Teresa from Calcutta, India was never a biological mother, but she rescued, mothered, and raised hundreds of orphans who had been left on the streets to die. She became a mother to many.
What about the hospital volunteers who are childless women who sit and cuddle the tiny babies in the NICU’s to help their growth and development by their tender, nurturing touch?
What about all the childless women in ministry who have spiritual children all over the world that they train, teach, impart to, and love?
What about all those childless women in helping professions like teachers, nurses, and paramedics, etc., whose jobs include assist and giving aid to, even saving the lives of babies and children?
What about the childless women who give money to fund orphanages, adoptions, rescuing children from human trafficking, and feeding and clothing programs for the homeless? Children can be homeless, too, you know.
What about all the childless women in the world who love their pet dog or cat with all their heart and often give them better care than some moms give their own children?
These all represent ways that women can mother without ever having a child.
I believe in having babies. I believe in adopting babies and children. I believe in all of that, trust me! But for women who having children of their own has escaped them for whatever the reason, there are many ways they can mother, also!
Look around you, dear women!
Who needs a hug?
Who needs some words of encouragement?
Who needs a mentor to say “Come with me? Let me teach you about the Lord and His plans for you?”
Who needs a hot meal or you to invite them into your home?
Who needs a home to stay in while they are getting stuff worked out in their lives?
What single mom needs a few hours of free baby-sitting?
What baby or child needs to be adopted?
Who needs to be held and allowed to just cry it out?
Who needs their hands held while they go through something really scary?
Who needs someone to rejoice with them when things go great?
Who needs someone to grieve with them when things don’t turn out so well?
What dog needs to be rescued or bought?
There are so many hurting babies, children, teens, and adults, elderly, and yes, even animals, in this world who need a momma’s touch. And you don’t have to have had a baby be that “momma” to that child or adult.
It’s in the God-given DNA of all women to want to take care of, nourish, nurture, encourage, love on, and make people (and the world) better.
So, go for it, women! Reach out and change the world with your God-given nurturing DNA! Because it is in you! You’ve got it! God put that special something there in you! Don’t hold back for one second on mothering someone/something just because you haven’t had a child.
Because you have something unique inside of you that someone or something truly needs, I can truly say to EACH WOMAN reading this, ‘HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY” TO YOU!’”
~ Debbie Erickson, Carrollton, Texas.