Yesterday Pearl and Autumn (her youngest daughter), Evangeline and I drove down to Meadow’s (over two hours away) to spend a day with her. It was such a precious time. Meadow is flourishing as a mother and doing so well. However, it was great to be able to encourage her with different nursing positions and teach her how to nurse her baby lying down which is so much more relaxing than sitting up with a straight back. A new mother will soon get tired of that.
Why do hospitals send mothers home breastfeeding their babies with the football position? It’s so uncomfortable for mother and baby and doesn’t even give skin to skin contact.
We were thinking as we drove home that once again this would be such a wonderful thing for all mothers to enjoy when they come home with their first baby—to have older mothers surround them who can give them tips and help with nursing and mothering.
I am sure this is what it was like in the old days. Today, so many precious young mothers are isolated. They go home from the hospital with no one to help and encourage them. No wonder they get depressed instead of being filled with joy.
It’s time we got back to truly encouraging mothers, don’t you think?
Blessings from Nancy Campbell
MORE THOUGHTS ABOUT ISOLATED MOTHERS
A comment from the post above, A DAY WITH A NEW MOTHER says: “I think a large part of the reason mothers are unhappy these days is because they are not surrounded by support as they welcome their new baby and stay home to nurture them. Most grandmothers, sisters, aunts, friends, etc. who used to surround the mother are now working and unavailable.”
This is so true. Young mothers need people around them. I believe one of the biggest negatives is isolation. Mothers are left to themselves to discover how to nurture their new child. Breastfeeding, mothering, and homemaking are arts. You learn to hone these beautiful arts as you daily experience them.
We live in an abnormal age. The majority of parents have approximately two children each. The average per child in USA is 1.8. Therefore, young people grow up without younger siblings and little babies around them. They have no idea of mothering babies. They may not have even held a baby in their life! And now suddenly, they have to mother their own baby without any help at all! It can be frightening.
In a normal society that follows God’s original God-given mandate, there will usually be more children in the family. Older children have younger siblings and babies around them. They see their mother nursing babies. It is a normal lifestyle to them. When they have their own baby, it is nor foreign; it is normal!
And when there are more children in the family, there is lots more help. There will be many aunts and uncles all wanting to help the new mother and hold the baby. There are not only one pair of arms, but loads of arms reaching out to hold the baby. It makes having a baby relaxing and exciting.
I love to watch the interaction of Evangeline’s children with the new babies in their family. Rashida now has two little ones. When she needs help, all she needs to do is call and her younger teenage sisters will be there with excitement and joy to hold the baby, play with the toddler, and help in the home. This is how it is meant to be.
Mothers who limit their families don’t realize that they will deprive their daughters and daughters-in-law of blessing and help from younger siblings when their time comes to mother.
Now Meadow has her new baby. She has her mother, grandmother, and aunties always available for help and advice. Meadow and Rashida have one another for encouragement. The more siblings, aunties, cousins, and family members around, the greater the blessing. More is positive; less is negative.
I also believe that mothers need lots of interaction with other young mothers. As a young mother, I always had a mother’s Bible Study in my home. I invited in other young mothers. We talked about motherhood. We talked about all our challenges. And because we could talk about them with one another, we could end up laughing about them because we were all facing the same things. We learned from one another. We encouraged one another. And we didn’t feel isolated. In the summer months, we’d go to the park or have picnics together.
And if a young mother can’t find a few mothers to do this with, she can surely find at least one other young mother.
Our modern society has its blessing with our lovely homes and all our mod-cons to do our work for us, but they still isolate us. I think of old times when mothers went down to the river to do their laundry. Washing clothes in a river? What a tough job. But can you imagine what a blessing it was. The mothers would meet at the same time. They would talk together while all the children played together. By the time they had finished their laundry they had ironed out all their problems and went home exhilarated from exercise and refreshed in their mothering.
Of course, we don’t live in these times, but we can always find ways to meet with others. I think it would be wonderful if more and more older mothers would start a group for mothers in their home to teach them and encourage them and gather young mothers together for the joy of fellowship.
Blessings from Nancy Campbell